Drop the Dead Donkey/Characters

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Globelink Staff

Gus Hedges

The management speak spouting 'hands-off' chief executive at Globelink News, Gus constantly reminds his staff "I'm not here." If only. Constantly meddling with broadcats and bulletins to ensure their proprietor comes out on top, Gus has no real friends at the office and is often shown to be desperately lonely.

• Beleaguered Assistant
• Break the Haughty: When events begin to get on top of him, such as the Prime Minister's impending visit.
• The Dog Bites Back: To Sir Royston in the last episode, but his epic rant is cut short.
• A Man Is Not a Virgin
• Smug Snake
• Sympathy for the Devil: Often shown as a deeply lonely, insecure individual whose attempts to reach out to his colleagues are met with bafflement or frustration.
• The Unfavourite: To his brother Julian.
• Yes-Man

George Dent

The put-upon editor of Globelink, George is constantly beset by problems from his staff, his manipulative wife, his borderline-psychotic daughter Deborah, and his own ever increasing mystery illnesses.

• Butt Monkey
• The Dog Bites Back: On occasion, such as paying his daughter to wreck Damien's Porsche, or hiring a call-girl to ruin his ex-wife's wedding.
• Locked Out of the Loop
• Papa Wolf When Deborah joins a gang of muggers, George threatens their leader with a toasting fork until he sings the Birdie Song (with actions).
• The Woobie

Alex Pates

George's second, the assistant editor (who frequently does most of the legwork). Put on a Bus between series two and three.

• Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Her mother, unseen until the series two finale.
• Deadpan Snarker
• Not So Above It All
• Only Sane Woman

Helen Cooper

Brought in to replace Alex, she quickly attracts the attention of both George and Dave, only to reveal she's actually a lesbian.

• Cure Your Gays: Toyed with , then averted.
• Deadpan Snarker
• Only Sane Woman
• Not So Above It All: After chiding the office for spying on Dave, she breaks down and asks 'are you screwing Diana or not?
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Initially for Alex, later averted as she is fleshed out.

Damien Day

Sensationalist reporter, always willing to embellish the truth in his reports.

• A Man Is Not a Virgin: he loses his virginity in season 4, in the lion enclosure at the zoo.
• Celibate Hero: Tries to claim this from time to time.
• Empathy Doll Shot: Uses his own teddy bear for these, credits Dimbles with winning four awards.
• Freudian Excuse: Made clear in the episode with his mother.
• Ultimate Job Security: The source of most of Globelink's ratings, they can't afford to lose him.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy

Dave Charnley

Ladies man, particularly if the lady is married to another staff member, Dave frequently finds himself in debt to various creditors due to his gambling problems.

• The Casanova
• The Gambling Addict
• Heterosexual Life Partners: With Henry.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold
• Ladykiller in Love: With Helen, and later with a married member of staff named Julie.
• Really Gets Around

Henry Davenport

The respected older anchorman at Globelink, Henry is constantly frustrated at the antics of 'pre-pubescent holograms' in politics and the media business. He has a particularly acidic relationship with fellow anchor Sally Smedley.

• Bald of Awesome: Averted, he looks worse without his terrible hairpiece than with it.
• Friendly Enemy: Sometimes with Sally (although he would never admit to the "friendly" part).
• Heterosexual Life Partners: With Dave.
• Kavorka Man
• Large Ham
• Sophisticated As Hell

Sally Smedley

Part of a new wave of attractive but untalented new personnel, Sally is calm and reassuring on camera, but off-camera is vacuous and selfish, disliked by most of her colleagues, particular Henry.

• Brainless Beauty
• Break the Haughty: Many an episode features other characters attempting to do this to her.
• The Chew Toy
• Friendly Enemy: With Henry (although, like Henry, she would never admit to the "friendly" part).
• Jerkass Woobie: Particularly in later seasons.
• Really Gets Around: Usually with lorry drivers.
• Sympathy for the Devil: After her miscarriage.
• We Want Our Jerk Back: When she becomes a Christian.

Joy Merryweather

The incredibly effective PA for Globelink, Joy is, however, a borderline sociopath with a tendency to enact creative revenge plots on those who slight her.

• Comedic Sociopathy
• Deadpan Snarker
• Defrosting Ice Queen: With Dave during her Gladiators training, and with Vivian the artist. Both involve the men using her for their own purposes, which naturally doesn't end well.
• Freudian Excuse: Lived with an alcoholic father and a drug addict mother.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Sometimes with Dave and Helen.

Gerry

Damien's cameraman.

• Creator Cameo: He is voiced by Andy Hamilton, one of the two writers.
• Iron Butt Monkey
• The Unseen: Except in the Christmas Special where he appears wrapped entirely in bandages.

Recurring Characters

Sir Royston Merchant

The new owner of Globelink News, a terrifying, corrupt figure who owns much of the British media.

• The Faceless: Briefly averted in the finale.
• Fat Bastard
• Jerkass
• No Celebrities Were Harmed: Rupert Murdoch and Robert Maxwell, who both share his initials as well.

Margaret

George's often mentioned wife, who proceeds to put him through hell before demanding a divorce and taking most of his possessions.

• The Faceless:Briefly averted in the finale.
• Jerkass
• Manipulative Bitch: Particularly in the finale.
• The Voiceless

Deborah

George's out of control teenage daughter.

• Attention Whore
• Comedic Sociopathy: Enough to compete with Joy.
• Enfante Terrible
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She does love her Dad, she just conceals it very well.