"I never really believed in things like Aliens, Espers, or Time Travellers.
My life has always been pretty straightforward, I guess.
UNTIL.. I MET HER!"
—Kyon, from the original first episode
a fagget an Abridged Series of the Haruhi Suzumiya anime done by MyToasterIsStupid. It uses absurd situations, vulgar jokes and psychedelic editing to show how crazy Kyon's world becomes. Available here.
- An Aesop / Script Wank: Played for laughs in the skit for HAROOHEE 11 PREVIEW. The creator is busy finishing the edits for episode 11 of the abridged series, when his laptop's logic board fails. After an stunned reaction and an angry punch to its screen, he gets another laptop at Best Buy and is able to transfer its hard drive data to the new computer. In the end credits:
"Now remember, kids, always be sure to backup your important data in case your laptop decides to fucking DIE ON YOU!!! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!"
- Armor-Piercing Question: Downplayed in the original Ep. 1:
Kyon: Is it true that you only talk to aliens?
Kyon: Or espers?
Kyon: Or time travellers?
Haruhi: Hey! What does it matter, huh? I only talk to time travellers, aliens and espers!
Kyon: Then why are you talking to me?
Haruhi: (screaming in her head) FuuuuuuuuuuUUUUK!
- Bait and Switch: In Ep. 2, at the club room:
Haruhi: We need a computer. Not just for porn!
(Kyon clears his throat)
Haruhi: But so we can kickstart this club!
Kyon: (narrating) And as Haruhi said that, I thought tha-
(Haruhi pulls Kyon's collar to her)
Haruhi: Hey, let's go over to the computer lab and take- I mean, borrow one of theirs!
Kyon: What, you think they're just gonna GIVE ONE TO YOU?!
Haruhi: Oh, I have my way of handling things.
- (At this point, you'd expect the usual scene of Haruhi blackmailing the computer club, but...)
(At the computer lab)
Haruhi: Hey, can we get one of your computers?
Computer guy: OKAY!
- Black Comedy Rape: In Ep. 2, after the whole incident with Haruhi and Mikuru being detained by teachers who thought they were hookers:
Taniguchi: (to Kyon) Hey! So Kyon, Haruhi pulled up quite the show the other day. Everyone's talking about you guys.
Ryoko: I'm sure your club's got quite a lot of attention because of it.
Kyon: Oh hey, Ryoka. And no, not really. You'd be surprised at how little attention is given to Japanese schoolgirls being molested by older men. It's uncanny.
Ryoko: I know. Why, I get molested all the time.
(Ryoko waves the papers she's holding.)
Ryoko: And I got the documents to prove it.
(She makes loud noise with them.)
- Yuki is really bad at telling jokes:
(At Yuki's appartment)
Kyon: So uh, what exactly is it that you wanted?
Yuki: I would like to rape you.
Kyon: Uh, what?
Yuki: I'm just kidding. People joke with one another that way, do they not?
Kyon: Uh, yeah, I guess so. So are you the only one who lives here?
(Yuki serves tea to Kyon without a word.)
Yuki: Yes. Drink.
(Kyon does so.)
Kyon: (thinking) Skeptical!
Yuki: You have swallowed the roofie. Now, I will do things of a sexual nature to your unconscious body.
Yuki: I'm just kidding. People joke with one another that way, do they not?
Kyon: SO ANYWAY!
- Ep. 2's Stinger:
Kyon: Oh, I feel really.. dizzy.
(He collapses to the floor)
Yuki: The roofie has kicked in.
- In Ep. 3, after all of Yuki's exposition:
Yuki: I'm gonna need a cigarette after all that.
Kyon: Dude, I don't even- Is this all just some elaborate plan to have sex with me, or..?
Yuki: You mean again?
- In Ep. 4, Kyon is figuring out who wrote the note in his locker:
Kyon: (narrating) And I doubt Haruhi would write a note. If she had something important to tell me, she'd probably just molest me in the hallway again. My butt still hurts.
- Blatant Lies: In Ep. 9, the Butler says the host is busy with his "bathroom blitz", even as we hear his murder screams and him saying "That was really sharp and also painful, I am dead now. (fart)"
The Butler: He actually told me to tell you that.
- In Ep. 4, Kyon remarks that Haruhi looks less "Ha-roo-hii-ee" than usual.
- As Koizumi puts it in Ep. 10, the host has been murdered using "a stabby-like object."
- Camera Abuse: In the original Ep. 1:
(While the camera quickly moves to Haruhi's face)
Kyon: (narrating) There stood this beautiful girl who-
Haruhi: OW! FUCK ME!
Kyon: Changed my life as I knew it.
- The same thing happens in the Redux, but condensed.
- Captain Obvious: In the original Ep. 1. While Haruhi looks at a swimming pool:
Haruhi: (background falsetto voice) Just as I thought. This is water.
- Comically Missing the Point: In Ep. 3, while Yuki tell Kyon some important things:
Yuki: So to put it in terms that would befit, Harihu Suzumiya and I are not normal human beings.
Kyon: I knew it! She's a bitch, isn't she?
Yuki: Yes, but that's not what I mean.
- Don't Explain the Joke:
Voiceover: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE SEX!
- Dramatic Irony: Parodied in Ep. 1 Redux:
Kyon: How the fuck did you just change your hair?
(Haruhi pounds her desk)
Haruhi: I'm a god and I just don't know it yet!
(Haruhi screams and walks away)
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: In the original Ep. 1, a caption points to a sleeping student as "That guy's dead".
- Freudian Slip In Ep. 3, when Yuki explains her mission to Kyon:
Yuki: My mission is to observe- I mean spy on naked in the shower- I mean observe Haruhi Suzumiya and report back to the Data Integration Thought Entity.
All of the sexy- I mean helpful details.
Haruhi: The mysterious transfer student is finally here! Excitemeeeeeeeeeeeent!
Kyon: (in between Haruhi) Isn't it a little early for you to be LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS?!
- Glad I Thought of It: In the original Ep. 1, Kyon whispers to Haruhi about making her own club. Later:
Kyon: (narrating) As I was nodding nearly napping Suddenly there came a tapping ON THE BACK OF MY FUCKING SKULL!
Kyon: (shouting to Haruhi) What the hell?!
Haruhi: New idea! I'll just start my own club!
Kyon: You don't say.
Haruhi: Yeah, and I thought of it all by myself!
Kyon: (thinking) You lying motherfuck!
- Hates Everyone Equally: Haruhi's first lines to the class in Ep. 1:
"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, and I probably hate all of you."
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": Subverted in Ep. 9. When the Butler says he can't find Mr Keichi, who was "emptying his bowels" in the bathroom (or his bedroom):
Kyon: Haa, I don't get it.
- Hypocritical Humor: In the original Ep. 1, during one of Kyon and Haruhi's conversations:
Kyon: So Haruhi, is it true that you like to FLIP YOUR HAIR?!
Haruhi: (while she does so) I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Jump Scare: In the original Ep. 1, Taniguchi and Ryoko scare Kyon, who gets really pissed off.
- Lampshade Hanging: In Ep. 1 Redux, Kyon notices that Haruhi instantly changed her hair in the same scene with no explanation.
- Limited Animation Parodied and discussed in Ep. 9 with the flip-flaps. As Koizumi discusses the fact that because, from the perspective of the camera, he is obstructing his friends (and their mouths), he moves just enough for Kyon's sister to mock the concept (she is free to make stupid sounds with her mouth, since the camera can see her), until Koizumi move back to his original place, shutting her up.
- Larynx Dissonance: Haruhi is sometimes voiced by a falsetto male voice. Some characters and most of the background voices are delivered in the same way.
- Out of Focus: Played for laughs in Ep. 10. Haruhi orders Mikuru, Yuki and Kyon's sister ("non-important characters") to stay at their room while she and Kyon ("us main-grown-up characters") do the work.
- Overly Long Gag:
- In Ep. 6, "Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! Kyon! (etc.)"
- In Ep. 1 Redux, when showing Kyon her new club room, Haruhi extends her "Ta-daa!" to an absurd point.
- Rapid-Fire Comedy: A scene in the original Ep. 1 incorporates Medium Awareness, Tempting Fate, Jump Scare, Motor Mouth, Angrish, Funny Background Event, Department of Redundancy Department, Hong Kong Dub, No Fourth Wall, This Is for Emphasis, Bitch and Throw It In.
- The Reveal: Parodied in Ep. 9. When it turns out the host was murdered, Kyon's sister shrills out a painful, yet hilarious "Dun Dun Dun!"
- With the murder mocked to shreds, it was pretty obvious.
- In the original Ep. 1, "As I was nodding nearly napping Suddenly there came a tapping ON THE BACK OF MY FUCKING SKULL!" is a reference to The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.
- In Ep. 1 Redux, Kyon thinks "Reapproach. Adapt. Overcome," a parody of the Marine Corp mantra "Improvise. Adapt. Overcome."
- In Ep. 4, just as Kyon is saved from Ryoko's assault by Yuko, he shouts "That's my horse!", a reference to a song in Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy that is played in a game where the goal is to physically harm the other player.
- In Ep. 9, Kyon and friends make Koizumi make doorbell sounds and sing the "A Thousand Miles" pre-chorus between the noise.
- Sophisticated As Hell: In Ep. 4, just as Yuki interrupts Ryoko's assault on Kyon:
Yuki: Your orders were not to engage or provoke any form of response. What the hell?
- Stalker Without a Crush: In the original Ep. 1:
Kyon: (narrating) Over the next few days, I learned more about Miss Suzumiya, mostly through what Tanaguchi's told me and uh, a little stalking on my own behalf.
That's not weird or anything, is it? Is it? Naah, I didn't think so.
Kyon: (narrating) So the next day, we were assigned new seats at random, and I was hoping for the seat near the window in case I decided to KILL MYSELF!!!
And Haruhi was sitting direcly behind me, so that was looking like a pretty good option.
Haruhi: It's so boring around here, you know? I'm tempted to jump out a window.
Kyon: (thinking) Oblige me, O mighty temptress.
- In Ep. 1 Redux, Haruhi says to Kyon that, should they fail to find Bigfoot or Sayans in her club, they'll probably kill themselves.
- Take That: In Ep. 4, while Kyon meets Ryoko at the classroom to talk about Haruhi:
Ryoko: It's just that if something was wrong and no one was doing anything to try and stop it, wouldn't that only make it worse?
Kyon: You mean like pop music?
Ryoko: Exactly like pop music.
- Take That, Audience!: Ep. 10's intro:
"Okay, so you saw that this video is thirteen minutes, and- and- and yet, you're still- you clicked on it. You- You're gonna watch it. You're gonna watch this fuckin' thirteen minutes of fuckin' anime bullshit. What is WRONG WITH YOU?! WHHHHYY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY?!!"
- Thanks for the Mammary: The original Ep. 1's title sequence highlights Haruhi groping Mikuru from two separate scenes.
- Throw It In: In the original Ep. 1, Ryoko's lipflaps just happened to form the words "Pussy!"
- Those Two Guys: In Ep. 9, the two cruise announcers. They compliment each other pretty well...
- Toilet Humour:
- In the original Ep. 1:
Haruhi: This is our new room. This is where things start getting interesting.
(Kyon facepalms and sighs.)
Kyon: (thinking) I have to take the biggest crap!
- In Ep. 10, the host struggles to keep his farts upstairs:
Host: Ho-ho-holy shit, that was loud... I mean nothing, I'm dead.
Kyon: Heh heh, he's not really too good at the "not-being-dead" thing.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: Played for laughs in Ep. 10. Koizumi, at the sight of the dead host, vomits right into the carpet. Kyon is pretty disgusted by this.
- When It Rains, It Pours: In Ep. 10, while Haruhi and Kyon investigate outside during a downpour:
Kyon: (thinking) AARRRGH! COULD THERE BE MORE RAIN?! I THINK IF I'LL LOOK UP, I'LL DROWN!!
Kyon: (thinking) IN THAT MOMENT, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF HOW LOUD I GOTTA THINK.. JUST TO HEAR IT!
- formerly known as MyToasterIsRetarded