Tokyo Mew Mew No Hope Left

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"It was a really hot guy with big ears and green pigtails." —A quote from chapter six. It's not that weird if you've watched the show... Sort of.

"Hello. My name is Aizawa Sakura. I live in a big house in Tokyo and I have long hair and green eyes, and I wear fishnet pantyhose and I have an older twin sister named Minto. This is my story." —The fact that she describes herself based on her pantyhose should say a lot about what you're getting yourself into by reading this.

Tokyo Mew Mew No Hope is a fanfiction set in the Universe of Tokyo Mew Mew. It's told from the perspective of the The Ojou Minto's twin sister, a blatant Mary Sue, who wears a variety of Stripperific “gothic” outfits to school, occasionally forgetting that her school has a uniform. When she is not murdering boys for looking at her cleavage, which shouldn't have been visible in the first place considering she's in school, she spends her time crying her eyes out for reasons that are supposed to be Tearjerkers.(They're not)

Chapter 16 suddenly changed in tone and maturity. Exhibit A: contrast this description of Sakura's clothing with the ones listed under Did Not Do the Research.

I couldn't really get down right now, could I? I fidgeted with lace on the edge of my sleeve. Cluny, contrasting rather nicely with the thick cotton. Bell sleeves, not exaggerated, or tacky. My pannier was well hidden, and my skirt fell just below the knees. The high neck itched slightly. I straightened my bow. It was odd. I'd wondered if, upon seeing something like this, silly and superficial things wouldn't matter anymore. I sighed. "I must be getting shallow," I whispered to myself. "Spending too much time thinking about clothes, I'm turning into a regular priss."

If this had kept up, "No Hope Left" may have been rescued from the badfic pile. But the very next chapter opens with "(Lol srry about the suckish writing an spelling on the last chaptr XD I was tired.)", and immediately launches back into the author's usual pre-chapter-16 writing style.

The First Chapter can be found here: http://xxxkawaiibloodygothx.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2x7e5i

Tropes Applying to This Totally Not a Troll Fic work:

• Accidental Innuendo: "And then, KISSHU CAME!"
• Acceptable Targets: Preps and hackers.
• All of the Other Reindeer: enforced...

"LOOK AT HER RED EYESHADOW EWWWW! AND SHE LIKES GOTH BANDS AND NOT PINK! WHY DOESN'T SHE LIKE JUSTIN BEIBER AND BRITENY SPEARS AND PREP SINGERS!! I HATE HER! SHE'S SO STUPID AND UGLY! WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST DIE BECAUSE GOTHS SHOULD DIE THATS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND SHE LIKES AMY LEE!" She said stupidly in a hi-pitched preppy voice."

• Alpha Bitch: Almost every female character, according to Sakura. Ichigo dumps her friends for no reason, Minto steals boyfriends, Lindsay pulls hair... *etc*
• Anti-Hero: Sakura Aizawa, who likes to kill hackers and perverts. Only those so far.
• Beige Prose: Frequently.
• Berserk Button: Being hit on by guys in yellow polo shirts.
• Breast Expansion: Sakura's chest was described as medium-sized in the first chapter, but have grown to 'triple d cup and really big' by the sixth.
• Costume Porn: Borders on real porn.
  • Sometimes the author's need for costume porn is so strong, it outweighs actual continuity. In chapter 19, she wakes up "in my underwear and that sort of thing," and tied up by Pai. While Pai is watching over her, she notices Ryou in a "tube" and they confess their love for each other. She immediately starts making out with Ryou and -- with no intervening costume change at all -- she "was wearing a leather mini skirt made of lace and a gothic tube top and a gothic mini top hat and no shoes." (And no, she didn't use her Mew Mew transformation powers to accomplish this.)
• Department of Redundancy Department
• Disproportionate Retribution: Violently killing hackers, even if offscreen, people?
  • ripping a boy's head off because he looked at her cleavage. I wish I was lying.

There were lots of guys staring at my boobs which had gotten bigger sort of because I was wearing a relaly sexy dress. Even preppy guys were staring at my big boobs. "Hey there smexy!" Said a prep in an ugly yellow polo shirt. I ran up to him and ripped his head off by the hair and bashed his chest in with my boots which had really high hells. They got bloody so I went to get changed.

• • Similarly, in chapter 12:

Preps were staring at me angrily. They were wearing bermuda shorts and leggings. A guy in a yellow polo shirt said, "NICE BOOTS STUPID GOTH GIRL. WANNA GO OUT!??" I killed him with a knife.

• Die for Our Ship: Every pairing has been changed to Sakura + INSERT NAME HERE.
• Fat Bastard: Mr. Davidson. He's only mentioned in passing, but, yes.
• Elegant Gothic Lolita: subverted with a good case of Did Not Do the Research. What makes lolita fashion "Lolita" is that it is young-looking and classy...meaning not worn like this:

I was wlaking home from school, in my blakc gothic lolita dress with purple lace and it was relly low cut and showed my boobs which were triple-d cup and really big. I was wearing a maid headdress because that was wht I wore with my work uniform and sexy fishnet thigh high socks which almost reaced the skirt but didnt quite cause it was really really short and sexy so you can see my garters.. I was wearing eight-inch hells with skulls on them and a black lacy thong which showed sometimes because it was windy. The dress had sleeves which were like sleeves on a kimonno, and it had a corset on top with purple and red lace.

"I was walking throug school in a sexy new dress form hot toppic. It was gothic lolita like my other one execept this one didn't have straps and it had red lace and whas made of black satan and lots of gays and I had dark dark green lipstick and dark blue eyeshadow and my face was white as the moon. I was wearing thing high striped socks with a garter belt made of leather. I also had fishnet armwarmers and my hair was in two pigtails. I was very happy because it was Friday and soon school would not be there for a couple of days. There were lots of guys staring at my boobs which had gotten bigger sort of because I was wearing a relaly sexy dress. Even preppy guys were staring at my big boobs."

• Gratuitous Japanese: Gratuitously.
• Growing the Beard: Once Kisshu is killed, Sakura stops the Wangst about preps and starts wistfully reflecting on her obsession with goth clothing.
  • Interestingly, the authour claims that this chapter is the worst out of all of them.
• Jerk Jock: Aotama Masiay.
• Kimono Fanservice: Haruko wears a white kimono all the time. It's been described as nearly falling off her shoulders and being extremely short.
• Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Haruko-chan. She has a mysterious past involving demons, she never wears the school uniform (like, EVER. Sakura wore it once.) and she doesn't seem to show much influence on the world around her, but Word of God said she wasn't just a figment of our heroine's imagination.
• Norse Mythology: All throughout chapter 21, such as:

And all the while, the ice cow licked and licked. I WILL MAKE A NEW EARTH FROM YOUR FLESH, AND A SKY FROM THE DOME OF YOU DEFEATED SKULL! Haruko's golden boar, wrought by the hands of the residents of DarkalfHeim, ...

• Panty Shot: showing up in the oddest of places

Instead he zapped me with a lazer and knocked me backwards and my underwear showed and stuff!

• Parental Favoritism: Sakura and Minto's parents seem to prefer the latter, to a comedic extent.
  • I think its supposed to be a Tear Jerker
• Purple Prose: Attempted on several occasions, but failed.
• Rich Bitch: Minto.
• Rouge Angles of Satin: A reverse case, when describing her dress in chapter 9:

"... it had red lace and whas made of black satan and lots of gays"

• Sadist Teacher: Mr. Davidson. Probably more.
• Shout-Out: At the end of Chapter 7, many popular "Gothic" songs are referenced. Also, Inigo broke up with Aoyama. That probably wasn't intentional, though.
  • In chapter ten, Kisshu screams "BECAUSE I LOVE HER"
  • In chapter 20,

""Leave SAKURA ALONE!" Ichigo yelled angry. "YOUR LUCKY SHE EVEN CAME FOR TO FIGHT YOU, BASTE!""

• Tomboy and Girly Girl: Sakura and Minto, are described as this in chapter fourteen. However considering the way Sakura, the 'tomboy' of the two, dresses and generally acts, it doesn't really work.
• What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
• World of Ham
• X Meets Y: Tokyo Mew Mew meets My Immortal.
• You Keep Using That Word: Haruko is wizened.
• Zettai Ryouiki: With fishnets and a not so elegant Elegant Gothic Lolita dress. Yeah... The writing makes it closer to Fan Disservice, though.