So Bad It's Horrible/Quotes: Difference between revisions

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Anime and Manga

"[T]his is by far the worst animated product of any kind that I've ever seen - truly hideous and painful. It kinda passes the point where it's really not funny, it's just really, really boring and sad and it's just kinda makes you feel sorry that you're watching this.."

—Spoony on Space Thunder Kids

"...I have seen dog shit more appealing than this load of rhinoceros spooge. So if you happen to walk by this anime at your local store, do yourself a favor and keep walking. Don't even stop to look at the box, it's not worth it."

—American Anime Otaku, on Eiken

Fan Works

"To be quite frank, this story cannot be described with any word(s) associated with/related to/have anything to do with anything positive in any way whatsoever. It is a waste of space, which is certainly saying something, taking into consideration the fact that it is posted online and therefore physically cannot actually take up space, much less be a waste of space.
"Therefore, let me congratulate you on being one of the very few who have managed to accomplish this daunting task. Your Fanfiction, in short, was simply just that terrible. I, in all honestly, simply can't fathom the reason such an atrocity would even be posted on this site. Before you think about writing more, I strongly suggest, no, scratch that, DEMAND that you achieve some level of writing skill that could be deemed somewhat tolerable, or at least bearable, if at all possible.

"This demand is not only for my sake, but for the sake of all Fan Fiction fans out there that use and love this site. Please don't abuse such a wonderful thing by posting utter garbage. It's a disgrace."

—Akumakani Jada's flame of Timmy makes a Wish (since deleted)

Film

"Sometimes it's interesting to see just how bad bad writing can be. This one promised to go the limit."

—Sunset Boulevard

This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

—Enid, Ghost World

"This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before."

—Butthead from Beavis and Butthead Do America

"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul!"

—The principal, to Billy's answer during the decatholon, Billy Madison

Film Criticism

"I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

—Roger Ebert summing up his review of Rob Reiner's North.

"It is complete loose stoolwater. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind."

—Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

—Roger Ebert in his review of Freddy Got Fingered

"You know how bad you're probably thinking this movie will be? It's actually worse."

—Scott Nash's review of Shark Night

"[O]nce in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone."

—Slate.com's review of The Love Guru

"It’s not often a horror film reaches into the depths of my soul, grabs my heart and shatters it into a billion terrified pieces, and rarer still that a sequel manages the trick. But Sex and the City 2 managed to do just that, proving that Michael Patrick King, that baron of the grim and terrifying, didn’t blow all his tricks in the 2008 horror masterpiece."

—Phil Villarreal in his review Sex and the City 2 (OK! Magazine)

"Watching a movie this pathetic can really mess with your head. First of all you just feel trapped. You could walk out, yes, but you feel compelled, as if by a demonic force or internalized masochism, to sit there and witness how bad it can be. It starts to feel like an endurance test. Like maybe if you can handle the abuse you could handle actual torture someday if you're ever kidnapped by terrorists or some other bad guys. And then you just get depressed and wonder if your ability to detect if something is funny or not is permanently destroyed. What if nothing is ever funny again? What if the movie has obliterated your sense of humor? And then it's over--thankfully it's only about 80 minutes long, even if it feels like 80 days--you leave and go outside into the sunlight and get an ice cream and suddenly everything's okay again."

—Dave White on Vampires Suck

"I highly recommend seeing this film, as it will elevate the standing of every bad film you ever see."

—From an IMDb review of Going Overboard.

Literature

"Astonishingly, amazingly, alarmingly bad. Just terrible. Not, and I stress this, NOT "so bad it's funny". Past that, in fact, and out the other side to "so bad I cried for the trees that lost their lives"."

—SnozzWanger's Amazon.com review of The Shadow God by Aaron Rayburn.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

—Dorothy Parker

Live Action TV

"To be dead..... to be nothing.... to watch 'Neptune Men' no more!"

—Crow T. Robot, on Invasion of the Neptune Men

What works: Holy insert-your-favorite-explicative-here...
What doesn't: ...this got made! And is going to series!

—The Futon Critic, from his review of ABC's Work It.

"I know that some of you out there will want to check this show out in a sort of "it sounds so bad it might be good" way, but let me be clear: This show is so bad it will suck the love out of your heart."

—Matt Fowler, in his review of the pilot episode of Work It (IGN)

"'The Outrageous Okana' is, without a doubt, the most DREADFUL television experience I have ever had.... This episode is an active assault upon all thinking creatures.... You can't find it in yourself to smile during these 47 minutes, even if Megan Fox sex clones were searching your body for erogenous zones while you watched it... I want to sit on this episode's chest and hit it in its face until my hands are stumps!"

—SF Debris, Star Trek the Next Generation episode "The Outrageous Okana".

"That. Was. Horrible. No other word for it. Anyone who tries to defend this episode is clearly out of their minds, or just being contrarian for the hell of it."

—The Agony Booth on the Star Trek Voyager episode "Threshold"

"Yeah, that's the kind of food 'Threshold' is. The kind of food that would give a cockroach food poisoning."

—Sci Fi Debris's review of the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Threshold"

Music

"If the music were merely mediocre, I could forgive it, but the whole disc is just jaw-droppingly appalling at any moment. Not in an amusing, "point and laugh" sort of way. More in a "shocked and appalled" sort of way, sort of like the reaction to seeing a latter-day minstrel show. Sure, there were lame moments on previous albums, but I'm shocked and appalled that they produced something THIS bad."

—Progbear's review of Love Beach by Emerson, Lake & Palmer (Prog Archives)

Nigga, your shit's trash, you can't rap
And the engineer should've took your mic

—Young M.A, "Brooklyn (Chiraq Freestyle)"

Web Comics

Aubrey: If that had sucked any more, the TV would have imploded upon itself.

Jason: If a movie's that bad, it should be required by law to have three silhouettes in the corner making fun of it.

—Something*Positive

Web Original

"I don't think I can properly prepare you for what we're about to see, but if you think I've cried wolf one too many times with similar claims, believe me when I say that it's the only video that's ever made my VCR throw up electronic guts and explode."

—X-Entertainment's review of The Treehouse Trolls.

"You know, sometimes I wish that instead of just a power off button, the Nintendo had a FUCK YOU button that launched the cartridge out fast enough it would shatter on the wall. It might kill a few kids, but once you show how much Wayne's World needs to be destroyed, any judge would rule all the deaths as acceptable losses."

—Seanbaby in his review of Wayne's World for the NES.

"...I understand that it can be difficult to make an quality film on a shoestring budget. I realize that time and money restraints often mean that scenes have to be changed or cut at the last minute, so that the final product is often far different from what the creators had in mind when filming began. Indeed, I sympathize with the legions of young filmmakers out there who can't resist the camera's siren song despite lacking the funds, support, or talent necessary to bring their vision to life. But man, there is a fucking limit."

—Something Awful on Absolution

"This film is frequently hampered by the fact that it's horrible."

—James Lileks, reviewing the 1933 A Study in Scarlet film adaptation

"Do yourself a favor and avoid this game like the plague. In fact, avoid it like you would avoid something that you avoid more than the plague."

—A Gamefaqs.com review of Yu-Gi-Oh!: Reshef of Destruction

"I will not mock it in detail, for the same reason I wouldn't criticize the spatial arrangement of an inmate's wall-feces. It wouldn't be constructive criticism."

—Bryan Lambert, More Words Victoria Jackson Doesn't Understand (You Are Dumb)

If you liked this movie, then you probably don't exist

—Cracked.com on Son of the Mask

"'Threshold' is an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. And it is the only indefensible hour in the entire history of Star Trek. I don't mean it's the only hour I can't defend. I mean it's the only hour nobody can defend. And nobody does. This is important, because while there are worse things in the world than Star Trek, there is no fanbase more diverse in opinion. And they all hate 'Threshold'."

—Bryan Lambert, In Spanish, It Means "Earth No Go" (You Are Dumb)

"[It] isn't a failure that comes from ineptitude. This is an expertly calculated attack against happiness. The word evil doesn't begin to describe it. [...S]omeone or something deliberately packaged fear and despair into a Gameboy cartridge. I don't care what anyone says, no matter how clumsily they screw things up during the design process, no group of Earth humans could ACCIDENTALLY program the eighth layer of hell into a game. That's the accident equivalent of 300 counts of date rape. I'm not saying it's impossible, it's just going to take one hell of an explanation when you get caught doing it[.]"

—Seanbaby, on The Cat in the Hat's licensed game.

Here, [...] stupid and vicious and offensive and juvenile and brutal and stupid join together like a multiple-robot Transformer and destroy anything in the universe that is even close to being good or nice or true or honest.

—The Sartin/MacLennan review of FATAL

"Just thinking about writing a review for this movie gave me a headache. Accurately representing the shittiness that is "Don't Be Scared" almost certainly requires something more along the lines of a novel. (And of course, it would be a pretty shitty novel.)"

—Black Horror Movies, on Don't Be Scared

"White Chicks is such an abomination that if you put it near a baby, that baby will tell you how you're going to die."

—Cracked.com

"I have no memory of last year’s Ubisoft conference. I’m told that when the medics finally arrived, I was in a state of catatonic shut-down, common in trauma victims. My psyche had endured such an immense shock, it simply refused to allow any further input. The jokes were that bad."

—IGN on Mr. Caffeine's performance during Ubisoft's presentation during E3 2011.

Web Video

"This doesn't even qualify as shit! This is like the equivalent of shit taking a shit!"

—The Angry Video Game Nerd, on Superman 64.

"If this movie was a dog, I'd have it put down. If it was a car, I'd have it impounded. If this movie was a starving young woman, pleading with me for just a little bite of my ham and salami sandwich, I would kill her."

—The Nostalgia Critic on Kazaam

"[W]atching it actually makes me cringe. I feel like I have to turn the volume down and face the TV toward the wall and watch it in a dark corner of somewhere where nobody will ever know. It just leaves you with a bad, bad feeling, like this movie should not exist."

—The Angry Video Game Nerd on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

"'Now you're playing with power'? Now you're playing with fuckin' shit! You're better off fuckin' shit than fucking with this fucked up shit! Fuck this shit! You don't shit about how fuckin' shitty this fuckin' shit is. It's so bad it sucks. It's so fuckin' suck it fucks. And I... can't take it anymore."

—The Angry Video Game Nerd, on the Power Glove

"This. Is. It! The worst! The absolute worst! No story, no character, no plot... just pain! Pure, concentrated pain! There has never been anything this bad in the history of badness! It should be studied! It should be analyzed! It is... pure evil! I don't know whether to give it to a scientist to examine or a priest to exorcise. I mean, it is remarkable. It is absolutely remarkable! Even the closing credits are hurting me! Everything about this movie is just plain horrendous!"

—The Nostalgia Critic, on The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

"If a demon ever wanted to take revenge on this world, he couldn't ask for a better way than this - because this isn't a game... it's fucking punishment! It's the most accurate simulation of a burning eternity in Hell ever made! And you know what? There's a good side! There's a good side! You see this? The people who made this game actually had the balls to put their names in the back of the fucking instruction book - and I swear to God, if I ever find any one of you assholes I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! I WILL STAB YOU IN THE BRAIN! And... Th.. This game is FUCKING UNHOLY it's so bad! GODDAMN IT!"

—The Spoony One on Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge

"This is the worst thing that no one should ever have to see! It's awful, it's terrible, it's...it's... It's so bad I am forced to make up a word to describe how bad it is. This movie is...is... Horribufuckus! It is the most Horribufuckus movie I have ever seen in my entire life!

—The Nostalgia Critic on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

"This thing is worse than seven holocausts! It's worse than watching Nixon rub his taint on a camera lens for ninety minutes!"

—The Nostalgia Chick on Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

" [S]o bad, so utterly putrid, that I can't even get worked up about it. It falls right off the edge of my critical spectrum into the black, cloying void of dispassionate loathing."

—Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw on Sonic Unleashed

"This is so bad, Satan wouldn't even accept it if you offered it with your soul."

—The Angry Video Game Nerd, quoting a fan summary of Deadly Towers

"This is truly one of the most unplayable piles of excrement on the face of the planet. Don't buy it, don't give it a try, don't even look at the cover art! In fact, I recommend never to watch this review ever again as its only purpose is to showcase its shittiness and by seeing this abomination displayed more than once might result in complications."

—Aqualung Game Reviews on Karate for the Atari 2600

"This was not made, it was committed. This cannot be screened, it can only be inflicted."

—Brows Held High on Sweet Movie

"You know those Direct to DVD sequels? Well, this is one of those Direct To Garbage Can sequels."

—The Nostalgia Critic on Blair Witch 2

"I literally cannot think of one good thing about this game, other than it has an end. [...T]he only reason its existence can be justified is that it could be held as an example of what not to do during game development."

—Bennett the Sage on "Call of Juarez: The Cartel.

"I don't even know if I can properly rage at this one because, at some point, you just run out of hatred [...] When it gets this bad, there's just no point anymore."

—Todd in the Shadows on "Tonight I'm Fucking You" by Enrique Iglesias

"If a piece of shit took a piece of shit, and that piece of shit took a piece of shit [...] And THAT piece of SHIT made a movie... [Beat] AND THAT MOVIE TOOK A PIECE OF SHIT, THIS IS THE PIECE OF SHIT YOU WOULD SEE!!!"

—The Nostalgia Critic on "Felix the Cat: The Movie"

"I hate every second of this. Everything about this song is unpleasant. This actually SMELLS bad. I can SMELL this, through my speakers, and it's awful.... This is what all pop music must sound like to people who hate pop music. And if you DO hate all pop music, I can't even imagine what this sounds like to you. To you, this must sound like armpit farts and the screams of innocent children."

—Todd in the Shadows, on "Blah Blah Blah" by Ke$ha

"I've heard that this is one of the worst movies ever made, but I though there might be some kind of "What the hell were they thinking" joy attached to that statement. But not here. There is no joy here. This is just a piece of crap."

—Confused Matthew on Jaws the Revenge

Western Animation

"That man has committed murder here this evenin' and the victim's name is "theater"! This is the kind of mind-numbing schlock that's turning our society into a cultural wasteland! This isn't art! This isn't even entertainment! This... blows!"

—Lois Griffin, on Peter's production of "The King and I", Family Guy, "The King Is Dead"

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