Lobo/Self Demonstrating

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The Main Man don't like bein' looked at funny, fanboys.


"The name's Lobo. That's 'L' as in 'lacerate', 'O' as in 'obliterate', 'B' as in 'disembowel', and 'O' as in, uh, aw, I guess I can use 'obliterate' twice, huh, whaddya think?"

BURP!

Listen up, dweebs! Seein' as how I'm me, it's time I gave ya the real lowdown on the Main Man.

Name's Lobo, and I kill people. That ain't my real name, by the way - you dweebs can't pronounce it, but it translates to He Who Devours Your Entrails And Thoroughly Enjoys It. I'm the best fraggin' bounty hunter the galaxy has to offer - ferget the guy in the potbowl helmet. I grew up on a rock named Czarnia, which was full of dweebs. So when I took chemistry in high school, I mixed up somethin' special to show 'em how I really felt. Fragged every last one of them for that year's Science project, gave myself an A. Anyways, afterwards I got hold of a chain and hook, and a nice bike, and I've pretty much been boozin' and fightin' my way across the galaxy ever since.

Some of the nerds around here might try to tell ya I'm some sort of parody of a Nineties Anti-Hero, but try laughin' at the Main Man and I'll blow yer head off. In any case I predate most of them, first appearing in "Omega Men" #3 (June, 1983). Records of my life turned up in my own 4 issue mini-series (November, 1990-February, 1991). The readers seemed to love it, as more mini-series turned up and sold well. I next got my own regular series which lasted for 64 issues, from December, 1993 to July, 1999. Not that I ever stopped appearing in the pages of series named after other guys.

Other'n that, I'm pretty much what I look like. Oh, and I like dolphins. What, ya think that's funny? Waitaminnit. There, here's yer spine back.


The Main Man owns the followin' Tropes[edit | hide | hide all]

Wanted for crimes against the Galaxy including: Genocide ... Fratricide ... Patricide ... Matricide ... Impersonating a member of the Intergalactic Church of Truth ... Impersonating a member of the Green Lantern Crops ... Carrying a concealed thermo-nuclear device ... Breaking into the Justice League Satellite ... Fishing without a license ... Jaywalking ... Grand theft plasma rocket ... Disturbance of the peace across three space sectors ... 1,978,643,896 unpaid parking permits ... Illegal bounty hunting ... Wanton destruction of government property ... Demolishing a city without a permit ... Reckless endangerment toward animals ... Hijacking ... Selling/distributing radioactive material to cute fluffy bunny rabbits ... Noise infractions level 5.0 ... Illegally poaching Starros ... Bounty Huntering in a restricted zone ... Stepping on the grass ... Defecating in a public garden ... Loitering ... Advocating the overthrow of the heads of state ... Not honoring the bounty hunter code.