Shadow Crystal Mage

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/wiki/Shadow Crystal Magecreator

Let's see if THIS fic can get into TV Tropes

Shadow Crystal Mage is a fanfiction writer from the Philippines, (at least that's what his account says) who seems to write Crack/Crossover stories that specialize in trying to get their own pages on Troping wikis. (Since you're reading a page about him, it's safe to say he has succeeded.) Also is known for Schedule Slip since some stories go months without updates.

Here's his Author's Page.

Examples of Shadow Crystal Mage include:

"You think I'm scared of you, you overgrown luggage set!" Harry cried, standing in the middle of the scorched circle of ground the dragon's fire had made, his voice ringing across the stands. "I'm HARRY POTTER, BITCH! I killed my first unholy force of evil when I was ONE! YEAR! OLD! WITHOUT A WAND! I've been working in the porn industry SINCE BEFORE I KNEW I COULD WRITE! I've been supporting my little brothers since the orphanage threw us out for being too awesome when I was five! I do more insane things before dawn than both Weasley twins will ever pull off during their lifespan! Slytherin's fucking BASILISK couldn't kill me when it actually managed to get one of its fangs INTO MY ELBOW! I'm building a harem and so far no one's tried to stop me, even though they know I'm doing it! And now, I HAVE MY BOOMSTICK BACK! This isn't a counter attack, suitcase! Ever since the last time someone I loved was taken away from me, I've never stopped! My whole LIFE since then has been a counter attack! You? You're not even a choice flag event in the eroge of my life!"

Clark Kent went on vacations– sometimes– but he'd quickly realized that unless the vacation was to Smallville so he could be with his parents and see childhood friends, it was almost guaranteed that eventually it would include a job for Superman.
Still, he was never if not hopeful, so some times, when he felt particularly daredevil-ish, he'd file for some time off and take a vacation. It never ended well, but at least this time he knew how it would end. He kept a small collection of souvenirs, such as terrorist bullets, fangs, and other little mementoes of things that had tried to ruin his day.

It is an event of such a ridiculous number of contrived coincidences that result in a Rude-Goldberg-esque sequence of events that describing it would render it completely unbelievable. Especially the chain involving the platypus, the Russian satellite, and the vat of yogurt.

      • Also in Uzimaki Harry

"There will be vengeance, dobe! It will involve fire! And chainsaws, if I can score any! And dogs on motorcycles!" Sasuke continued to threaten.

  • Only Sane Man: He actually created a snippet in a oneshot where this applies to The Joker.
  • Person as Verb: 'To Dresden' is to burn down a building all by yourself without apparently meaning to. 'To Dresden up is 'to burn down a building all by yourself with disastrous political results.
  • Sanity Slippage: In Uzumaki Harry Sirius says that he read the entire Necronomicron. He says it has a good plot and has rendered him immune to Twilight
    • Note: Everyone else in the room, uppon hearing that, started to slowly inch away from him.
  • Serial Escalation: He's trying to do this with the current fic by fitting as many tropes as possible in Thirty Xanatos Pileup.
    • How many tropes can he cram into any piece of writing? How much Crackier can his stories get while still having a sensible (for a given value of sensible) plot? How Badass can Tomoyo get?
  • There Was a Door: In the shorter fic Death and the Uchiha, Itachi does this. Except it's really more like 'there was a path to Konoha that did not go straight through that tree'.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: See Badass Boast above.
  • Tradesnark™: The Collective Sasuke Fangirls of Konoha™.
  • Trope Overdosed: Done on purpose in his new story to get on TV Tropes. Have you noticed a little theme here? And yet it WORKS!
  • Vapor Wear: Used by name again in Thirty Xanatos Pile-up Chapter 2.