Fontes' Rants: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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* [[Author Avatar]]: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Kingdom Hearts (video game)|Sora]], [[Naruto]], and [[X-Men (Comic Book)|Wolverine]].
* [[Author Avatar]]: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Kingdom Hearts (video game)|Sora]], [[Naruto]], and [[X-Men (Comic Book)|Wolverine]].
* [[Badass Normal]]: Who climbs faster?
* [[Badass Normal]]: Who climbs faster?
{{quote| '''[[Spider-Man]]''': 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!<br />
{{quote|'''[[Spider-Man]]''': 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!
'''[[Assassin's Creed|Ezio]]''': Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars. }}
'''[[Assassin's Creed|Ezio]]''': Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars. }}
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|rant]] under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|rant]] under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
* [[Combat Pragmatist]]: In one of Fontes' many [[Final Fantasy]] parodies. On the left, a [[Black Mage]]. On the right, a [[White Mage]] and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast [[Kill It with Fire|Firaga]], when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.
* [[Combat Pragmatist]]: In one of Fontes' many [[Final Fantasy]] parodies. On the left, a [[Black Mage]]. On the right, a [[White Mage]] and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast [[Kill It with Fire|Firaga]], when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.
{{quote| '''Fighter''': Ehm... dude, it was his turn.<br />
{{quote|'''Fighter''': Ehm... dude, it was his turn.
'''[[The Reveal|Fontes]]''': I don't [[Precision F-Strike|fuckin']] care!!! }}
'''[[The Reveal|Fontes]]''': I don't [[Precision F-Strike|fuckin']] care!!! }}
** Also, using the [[Super Strength|golden gauntlets]] to throw a one ton obelisk at [[Ocarina of Time|Ganondorf's]] head.
** Also, using the [[Super Strength|golden gauntlets]] to throw a one ton obelisk at [[Ocarina of Time|Ganondorf's]] head.
* [[Concealment Equals Cover]]: [[Subverted]]; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
* [[Concealment Equals Cover]]: [[Subverted]]; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
* [[Cool vs. Awesome]]: [[F-Zero|Captain Falcon]] and [[Chuck Norris]] as [[Pokémon]] trainers.
* [[Cool vs. Awesome]]: [[F-Zero|Captain Falcon]] and [[Chuck Norris]] as [[Pokémon]] trainers.
{{quote| Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!<br />
{{quote|Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!
Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"! }}
Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"! }}
* [[Didn't Think This Through]]: Fontes decided to use the [[Death Note|Life Note]] to create an [[Ax Crazy]] [[Marty Stu]] character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;
* [[Didn't Think This Through]]: Fontes decided to use the [[Death Note|Life Note]] to create an [[Ax Crazy]] [[Marty Stu]] character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;
{{quote| '''Fontes''': ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...}}
{{quote|'''Fontes''': ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...}}
* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]: Fontes used the Life Note to create [[Pokémon (anime)|Ash Ketchum]] to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.
* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]: Fontes used the Life Note to create [[Pokémon (anime)|Ash Ketchum]] to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.
{{quote| '''Fontes:''' ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!}}
{{quote|'''Fontes:''' ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!}}
* [[Does This Remind You of Anything?]]:
* [[Does This Remind You of Anything?]]:
{{quote| '''[[Super Mario Galaxy|Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!}}
{{quote|'''[[Super Mario Galaxy|Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!}}
* [[Fan Girl]]: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over [[Inuyasha]].
* [[Fan Girl]]: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over [[Inuyasha]].
* [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Fontes [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays] [[Skyrim]].
* [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Fontes [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays] [[Skyrim]].
* [[Highly-Visible Ninja]]:
* [[Highly-Visible Ninja]]:
{{quote| '''Mook''': Stop at once!<br />
{{quote|'''Mook''': Stop at once!
'''[[Naruto]]''': Hell no! [[Verbal Tic|Bahleeeve it]]!<br />
'''[[Naruto]]''': Hell no! [[Verbal Tic|Bahleeeve it]]!<br />
'''[[Metal Gear Solid|Nearby "Box"]]''': *sigh* ...Rookies... }}
'''[[Metal Gear Solid|Nearby "Box"]]''': *sigh* ...Rookies... }}
* [[Hypocritical Humor]]:
* [[Hypocritical Humor]]:
{{quote| '''[[Guilty Gear|Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?}}
{{quote|'''[[Guilty Gear|Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?}}
* [[I'm a Humanitarian]]: [[Skyrim]] [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again].
* [[I'm a Humanitarian]]: [[Skyrim]] [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again].
* [[Improbable Weapon User]]:
* [[Improbable Weapon User]]:
{{quote| '''[[Kingdom Hearts|Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!<br />
{{quote|'''[[Kingdom Hearts|Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!<br />
'''Fontes''': Just look at that thing!!!<br />
'''Fontes''': Just look at that thing!!!<br />
'''Sora''': ...? ...Aww, [[Precision F-Strike|fuck]] you, [[Square Enix|Square]]!!! }}
'''Sora''': ...? ...Aww, [[Precision F-Strike|fuck]] you, [[Square Enix|Square]]!!! }}

Revision as of 20:32, 7 August 2014

Fontes' Rants is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author (Fontes) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on Deviant ART. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.

Recurring original characters include Fontes himself, an unnamed fangirl, Tanooki the raccoon, Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the Life Note.

Tropes used in Fontes' Rants include:


Spider-Man: 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!
Ezio: Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars.

  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a rant under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
  • Combat Pragmatist: In one of Fontes' many Final Fantasy parodies. On the left, a Black Mage. On the right, a White Mage and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast Firaga, when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.

Fighter: Ehm... dude, it was his turn.
Fontes: I don't fuckin' care!!!

Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!
Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"!

Fontes: ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...

Fontes: ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!

Luma: Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!

Mook: Stop at once!
Naruto: Hell no! Bahleeeve it!

Nearby "Box": *sigh* ...Rookies...

Bridget: You look like a queer, ya know?

Sora: What?! What's so funny?!

Fontes: Just look at that thing!!!

Sora: ...? ...Aww, fuck you, Square!!!