Fontes' Rants: Difference between revisions

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Fontes' Rants is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author (Fontes) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on Deviant ART. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.

Recurring original characters include Fontes himself, an unnamed fangirl, Tanooki the raccoon, Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the Life Note.

Tropes used in Fontes' Rants include:

Ascended Extra: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a Death Note, gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked Batman off a building.
Ass Shove: Ever wonder how TMs work in Pokémon?
Author Avatar: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as Sora, Naruto, and Wolverine.
Badass Normal: Who climbs faster?

Spider-Man: 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!
Ezio: Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars.

Breaking the Fourth Wall: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a rant under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
Combat Pragmatist: In one of Fontes' many Final Fantasy parodies. On the left, a Black Mage. On the right, a White Mage and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast Firaga, when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.

Fighter: Ehm... dude, it was his turn.
Fontes: I don't fuckin' care!!!

- Also, using the golden gauntlets to throw a one ton obelisk at Ganondorf's head.
Concealment Equals Cover: Subverted; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
Cool vs. Awesome: Captain Falcon and Chuck Norris as Pokémon trainers.

Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!
Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"!

Didn't Think This Through: Fontes decided to use the Life Note to create an Ax Crazy Marty Stu character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;

Fontes: ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...

Disproportionate Retribution: Fontes used the Life Note to create Ash Ketchum to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.

Fontes: ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!

Does This Remind You of Anything?:

Luma: Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!

Fan Girl: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over Inuyasha.
Good Old Fisticuffs: Fontes plays Skyrim.
Highly-Visible Ninja:

Mook: Stop at once!
Naruto: Hell no! Bahleeeve it!
Nearby "Box": *sigh* ...Rookies...

Hypocritical Humor:

Bridget: You look like a queer, ya know?

Sora: What?! What's so funny?!
Fontes: Just look at that thing!!!
Sora: ...? ...Aww, fuck you, Square!!!

Lampshading: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually.
Mundane Utility: "Dai Gurren Dental Care". Yes.
Power Glows, but may not be safe to use as a flashlight.
The Power of Creation: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it.
Stylistic Suck: How do you make fun of a gaming console with a stupid name? With an equally stupid comic strip.
Team Pet: Tanooki.

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 {{work}}
-[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com Fontes' Rants] is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author ([[Captain Obvious|Fontes]]) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on [[Deviant ART]]. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.
+[https://web.archive.org/web/20131031095534/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/ Fontes' Rants] is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author ([[Captain Obvious|Fontes]]) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on [[Deviant ART]]. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.
 Recurring original characters include [[Author Avatar|Fontes himself]], an unnamed [[Fan Girl|fangirl]], [[Team Pet|Tanooki the raccoon]], Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the [[Death Note|Life Note]].
@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 * [[Ascended Extra]]: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a [[Death Note]], gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked [[Batman]] off a building.
-* [[Ass Shove]]: Ever wonder [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395917/booting-up-the-booty/ how TMs work] in [[Pokémon]]?
+* [[Ass Shove]]: Ever wonder [https://web.archive.org/web/20131001081045/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395917/booting-up-the-booty/ how TMs work] in [[Pokémon]]?
 * [[Author Avatar]]: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Kingdom Hearts (video game)|Sora]], [[Naruto]], and [[X-Men (Comic Book)|Wolverine]].
 * [[Badass Normal]]: Who climbs faster?
@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
 {{quote|'''[[Super Mario Galaxy|Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!}}
 * [[Fan Girl]]: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over [[Inuyasha]].
-* [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Fontes [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays] [[Skyrim]].
+* [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Fontes [https://web.archive.org/web/20131001081051/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays] [[Skyrim]].
 * [[Highly-Visible Ninja]]:
 {{quote|'''Mook''': Stop at once!
@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 * [[Hypocritical Humor]]:
 {{quote|'''[[Guilty Gear|Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?}}
-* [[I'm a Humanitarian]]: [[Skyrim]] [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again].
+* [[I'm a Humanitarian]]: [[Skyrim]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20130801201913/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again].
 * [[Improbable Weapon User]]:
 {{quote|'''[[Kingdom Hearts|Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!
@@ Line 42: / Line 42: @@
 * [[Lampshading]]: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually.
 * [[Mundane Utility]]: "[https://web.archive.org/web/20140715045918/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1297871/colgate-who-needs-that/ Dai Gurren Dental Care]". Yes.
-* [[Power Glows]], but may not be safe to [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1330068/the-dark-side-of-the-shins-part-ii/ use as a flashlight.]
+* [[Power Glows]], but may not be safe to [https://web.archive.org/web/20120719055515/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1330068/the-dark-side-of-the-shins-part-ii/ use as a flashlight.]
 * [[The Power of Creation]]: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it.
-* [[Stylistic Suck]]: How do you make fun of a [[Wii U|gaming console with a stupid name]]? With an [http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1216388/dumbest-strip-ever/ equally stupid comic strip.]
+* [[Stylistic Suck]]: How do you make fun of a [[Wii U|gaming console with a stupid name]]? With an [https://web.archive.org/web/20120630112005/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1216388/dumbest-strip-ever/ equally stupid comic strip.]
 * [[Team Pet]]: Tanooki.