The Daily Show/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Joint Funny

  • The end of the 2008 election special, where the cast suffer an epic Heroic BSOD upon learning that the punditry is over and that they don't need to cover the election any more. This results in Stephen Colbert putting on dark glasses and large earmuffs to try and block out the reality of Obama's election, Rob Riggle's "grieving process" (involving him losing his pants, for some reason known only to himself), and Aasif Mandvi, having previously been in 'Pakistan', bursting in to plead Jon Stewart not to let it end:

Jon Stewart: Aasif... You're in Pakistan!

Aasif Mandvi: I am too upset to be confined by your logic, Stewart!

  • Oprah's appearance, giving rally tickets to the entire audience.

Stephen: Jon, your rally is supposed to be all about sanity. And that was completely insane.

  • The Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. All of it.
    • Yusuf's Peace Train vs. Ozzy Ozborne's Crazy Train. The winner: Love Train.
    • Stephen Colbert emerges from the stage like a Chilean miner.
      • Dressed as Evel Knievel, to boot.
    • The MythBusters appear to perform experiments with the audience on The Wave and jumping-based earthquakes. Particularly when Adam declares Jamie to be "like Chuck Norris."
    • The Stephen Colbert puppet and John Oliver dressed like Peter Pan.
      • "The puppet should melt too!"
    • Stephen panics about "corbamite" in his drinking water.

Stephen: Quick! Is there an antidote?!
Jon: Yes. It's the knowledge that... that there is no such thing as corbamite. I made it up. Well, actually, I stole it from an old episode of Star Trek. {{[[[One of Us]] cue mutual Trekkie geek-out}}]

Jon: I have candles...
Stephen: (engrossed) What're those?!
Jon: (beyond irritated) THEY'RE CANDLES!!

Stephen:And I hope I am never again this happy over someone's death. And I'm sure- I know that if I saw myself in the mirror, I would be appalled by the look on my face... (pulls out a hand mirror) Nope, I like this!
Jon: I suppose I should be expressing some ambivalence about the targeted killing of another human being, and yet... uh, no.
Jon (after showing clips of people warning of possible reprisals): Yes, we shouldn't have killed him. 'Cause now the terrorists are going to want to attack us. But you know what? Even when they do, you know who won't see it? Bin Laden, 'cuz we shot out his eyes, and now he lives in a pineapple under the sea.

  • Jon and Stephen's Ham-to-Ham Combat wherein Stephen transfers power of Colbert SuperPAC over to Jon.
    • How about the followup when Stephen got his SuperPAC back?
    • Speaking of, some of the attack ads where also damn good.

Narrator: If Mitt Romney really believes corporations are people...then Mitt Romney is a serial killer.


Jon Stewart or The Daily Show

John Oliver: The base level of respect will be enough.

    • Then there was his complete bewilderment at having used the words "Bush" and "good" in the same sentence regarding Bush's 2008 trip to Africa and the apparent lack of ulterior motive behind his aid efforts. When Stewart suggests that perhaps there is no ulterior motive, Oliver considers that an even worse possibility, adding:

John Oliver: Over the past seven excruciating years, I've come to terms with the President being incompetent. The fact that we now know he's been capable of doing good all along and has simply chosen not to - that really burns!

    • We have a new winner. Jon Oliver suggests that Mitt Romney embrace his image.
  • In a recent episode, Jon Stewart is attacked on Morning Joe for attacking Morning Joe in an earlier episode. He is called an incredibly angry man with a Napoleonic complex. How does he respond? Running out of the studio sobbing (with running mascara), donning a Napoleoninc outfit, riding his horse, and metting the John Oliver Duke of Wellington. Completed with a French accent.
  • The recent "11/3 Project" skit where Jon Stewart mocked Glenn Beck's method of punditry is possibly the Crowning Moment of Funny for the series thus far... and would have been even funnier if it weren't an uncomfortably accurate impersonation.
  • Stewart's reactions to Barack Obama's acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize—everything from noting Will Smith being in attendance to "research the role [of Obama for a movie]" to assuming (wrongly) that he'd scrape and plead with Europe for forgiveness to saying that while King and Gandhi had great examples, as a head of state he can't use them alone:

Jon Stewart: (rubbing temples) Obama...forcing us to live in an area between absolutes...BRAIN HURT!!!

  • Jon Stewart's response to Keith Olbermann's tearing into Sen. Kennedy's Republican replacement (air date January 21, 2010) ended, like his "11/3 project" skit, with a parody/pastiche that was hilariously on the mark (granted, while being a lot more sympathetic, likely because he has a lot more respect for Olbermann). It ends with him pontificating in true Olbermann-esque over the top style, about how Olbermann's lately slipped from respectable news coverage into basically silly, immature name-calling:

"...and that's my thing!"

    • Made all the funnier by what may be Olbermann's own Crowning Moment of Funny / Crowning Moment of Awesome the following night, where he not only showed the skit in its entirety, he also took it like a mensch. He seemed at first like he was (disappointingly) going to respond in total seriousness (which is the worst way to respond to a parody by the Daily Show)... then it suddenly built into a hilariously over-the-top indignant pastiche of Stewart's parody. And then? And then siiiiir? A nice long Beat before this cheerful confession:

"...you know what, you're right. I have been a little over the top lately. Point taken. Sorry! :)"

  • "Jon Stewart's Story Hole", a poorly constructed puppet show featuring Jon's character "Dr. Bagelman"...which is all set in a bathroom with a hole cut in the stall's wall. And Stewart's reactions were priceless:

Stewart: Could someone run the set design by me next time? Alright, let's just do this...Okay, shut your eyes and let's see wh--"(gawks, looks at his index card in shock)

Jon Stewart: I'm going to fuck your ears with the truth.

Jason: (pantsless) Sam, I can't find my pants!
Samantha: They're in your hands, actually.
Jason: No, they're not. I've looked there!
Samantha: Your other hand.
Jason: Oh *bleep* . I love you!

Jon: ...that's not the reference we rehearsed, but okay.

Squirrel! Ruun!

  • February 1, 2011: Michael Steele, meet Michael Steele.
    • The best part is that the real Michael Steele was a fantastically good sport about their constant jokes at his expense.

"That's what I said, cheddar bread!"

      • When Michael Steele returned to the show in August 2011, he did it sans puppet, and actually said at the top of the interview that he missed the puppet.
  • In the February 3, 2011 episode, Jon switches bodies with Justin Bieber.
  • John Oliver interrupts Stewart talking about the Chris Lee sex scandal to give us... this.
  • Aasif Mandvi's report regarding Batman's new Muslim sidekick:

Bosch Fawstin: "Batman is not immune from what's going on in the real world. Batman has never faced down Jihad."
Aasif (voiceover): "No. ‎Batman has only defeated the Joker, the Penguin, Mr. Freeze, and has a f**king tank that ejects a motherf**king motorcycle with guns. I'm sure he can't handle one jihadist as fearsome as Nightrunner."

  • Jon Stewarts discussion with the newest Republican presidential candidate, the Reagan OS 911 computer.
    • Some especially funny bits from that:

Jon: So what do you think about Sarah Pal--
Computer: NO.

    • Later, talking about the Obama birth certificate controversy (the computer believes Obama is not American, and the computer is also pro-life), Jon confronts the computer with this dilemma: Obama was certainly conceived in America, and the computer believes life begins at conception. Then that means that Obama is a US citizen. But Obama was not born in the US. So either Obama was not born in the US and foetuses are not human beings, or Obama was conceived and is therefore a US citizen and the rightful President. But—that—what -- ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE 10101100100111
  • The story Jon broke on an Iranian facility where they could eventually be making nuclear weapons. However, it was a little hard to take seriously when the town it's located in is called Qum. "The neighboring town will be showered with loads and bits of hot Qum!"
  • John Oliver discusses America's "freedom packages", basically a parody of time-share salesmen.
  • John Oliver as "The Polisher", offering this spin on recent protests over Koran burning:

John: Yes, a Koran was burned. Yes, people are being senselessly murdered because of it. But perhaps this is the final period of fundamentalist fervor that precedes a religion's embrace of modernity, much in the same way that the 16th century excesses of the Catholic church preceded the Reformation.

    • Stewart's reaction is even better:

Jon: ...That's a little too intellectual...

  • During the BP oil spill, it is revealed that one of the oil companies' emergency contacts is a marine biologist by the name of Dr. Peter Lutz.

Jon: Okay, makes sense. Oil rig, disaster, spill... Doctor could be a crucial contact, especially a marine biologist like Dr. Lutz. I see no problem here.
Clip: The problem is, that Dr. Lutz has been dead for five years.
Jon: He added:
Sound bite: DUN DUN DUUUNN!

Jon: Let's just go to the content of your meeting; and then we'll just--(Clip of Palin and Trump eating pizza focuses on Trump with his pizza slices one on top of another)--SON OF A BITCH! Motherf--and you stack your slices, Donald?! (trying to contain his anger) With all due respect, you stack slices of pizza, the steam from the bottom of the slice is gonna make the top crust so--you piece of shit! Maybe all those years, all those years of making your hair do whatever it is that it does, you think you can go around layering any fucking thing you wanna layer, and no one's gonna say anything about it?!

      • And it gets far, far worse...

Jon: ARE YOU EATING IT WITH A FORK?! A FUCKING FORK?! AW, MARONE! La forcella è satanico! Uno strumento del diavolo! Donald Trump, why don't you take that fork and stick it right in New York's eye?! Donald Trump, we work hard. And you do this? You disrespect us in our own house? Scadagouch--you can put your name on anything you wanna build, your fucking glass and gold-plated buildings to the sky, blocking out the Central Park sun, it's fine. It's fine! But you invite an important visitor to our house, to our town, and you eat your pizza with a fucking fork right in front of us?! Who the fuck do you think you're--you know what, hey, why don't you take a shit in Fiorello LaGuardia's hat and feed it to Joe DiMaggio's crying ghost on Liberty Island, you son of a bitch? You son of a bitch!

John Oliver: Don't be so Jewish about it, you're fine!
Jon Stewart: Incoherent laughter at the ad-lib

    • Later:

Jon Stewart: I should be Catholic? I should turn it into a drink?

    • The R. Kelly impersonator's song.
    • Further on Anthony Weiner, Jon's reaction to hearing that Weiner, in light of the scandal, apologized to Bill Clinton of all people.

Jon Stewart: WHAT!? The congressman had a scandal and had to apologize, to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?! A patent violation?! Are you insane?! That is insane! I can hear the big dog taking a call! (Clinton voice) "Anthony, I'm very disappointed! Now, this "Twitter" thing... can anyone sign up for it?"

Jon Stewart: (throwing up in his mouth a bit) You want me to cut my wrists again?

      • Then Jon gets curious if there are any other viewers that do the same thing...or all of them.

Jon: Are you doing it right now?! Cameramen, let me see the camera that lets me see them - OH GOD!!

Stewart: If my ridicule of silly things with bizarre caricature voices has given FOX what appears to be several days of very strong programming...your cup's about to runneth over, motherfuckers! Grab a knife and fork, FOX! Because I have turned my crack research team on myself! In a brand new segment called--
(Graphic appears at the bottom of the screen: Jon Stewart F#*ks Himself with His Own Mouth. Studio Audience erupts into raucous laughter as Stewart sits there dumbfounded.)

Stewart: I thought we weren't gonna...I though you were gonna run these by me before...

    • At the end, after a bit of Michael Bloomberg going "Tonight, we celebrate!" and him Steward answering with, "Wednesday, we go SHOPPING~!" he makes a I-did-that-last-impression-a-little-too-well face.
  • On July 13, Jon has to try and resist the urge to call Michele Bachmann's husband gay for the way he dances and resist tearing into him for referring to homosexuals as "barbarians who need to be educated." So what he does is call in his comedy therapist... Jerry Seinfeld, who told Jon that being funny is a choice and that he wasn't born that way among other things. He then leaves with "I gotta go. Don Rickles is about to get Chinese food from a guy that's half-Puerto Rican and half-Jewish."Linkski
  • On the May 9, 2011 show, Jon talked about some of the lesser-known GOP candidates, remarking that while people may have to google some of them, "Rick Santorum would probably prefer that you didn't." Later in the show, his guest Keira Knightley came out and dropped this gem:

Knightley: I just googled "santorum." I feel like my innocence has been taken away.

Obama: "Yes! We! Can!"

  • On the October 19, 2011 episode, when talking to Senior Black Correspondent Larry Willmore Jon brings up the disproportionately long prison sentencing of crack cocaine users as opposed to powder cocaine users as an example of racism.[1] He says:

Larry: That's your proof of racism? That people smoking crack are sitting in prison longer than people smoking coke?[...]I don't recall Dr. King dreaming of the day crackheads and coke heads would be singing "Free at last, free at last".

  • In 2005 calling Bill O'Reily on presenting year old footage of a joke as a recent attack on Christmas.
  • Jon becoming president of Egypt by solving an ancient "riddle".
  • Jon's coverage involving the Pokemon Movie, including the Shellder Of Knowledge and "Thank you, magical Japanese cat-monster."
    • Specifically, Jon is discussing Herman Cain's quotation of lyrics from the end credits of Pokemon 2000. He then turns it around by finding an even more philosophical quote from the first movie, even identifying Mewtwo as a genetically-engineered psychic Pokemon, then says that, for Cain, a more appropriate line would be Slowking's "I could use pants" and correctly identifies its crown as a Shellder. He does though incorrectly refer to it being specifically the "Shellder of Knowledge", a phrase that has never been used in any Pokemon medium to refer to Slowking's crown, but Pokemon fans were laughing too much to get bothered by the details.
      • This also means that either Jon and his crew were Pokemon fans to begin with, or that they went through at least two of the movies looking for quotes specifically to use in that segment. Crazy Awesome indeed.
  • Jan 19: John Oliver explains why the Chinese cannot win negotiations with Newt Gingrich. "Their culture is based on shame Jon, and Newt has none."
  • Any time Jon does his impression of the Queen of England.
  • Jon Stewart goes progressively crazier and crazier over the Accidental Innuendo-laden rhetoric of Rick Santorum, especially as they're ass-puns, and he has a strong aversion to homosexual sex.
  • The interview with Masha Gessen gets a note if only because Masha Gessen is a completely perfect example of The Comically Serious, and takes seriously Jon's jokes.
  • Be amazed as Jon Stewart and Ricky Gervais quickly find themselves discussing the sexual life of pandas and get nuttier from there.
  • The "real" Leeroy invades CNN's 2012 virtual Super Tuesday coverage.
  • Will Ferrell comes in wearing a baseball helmet, riffing on Jon's earlier comment that "comedians don't wear helmets." The helmet completely derails the plug for Will's new movie; seriously, it's all they can talk about.
  • March 29, 2012. Taiwanese. Animation. Of note is Jon's flustered reaction to "Chief Justice of Our Hearts" Cee 'Lo Green, the ice cream cone bribe, the statue of lady justice decapitating two senators, and shirtless Joe Biden punching a man in the face while laughing.
  • In this episode Jon can't keep a straight face when Wyatt Cenac declares his martini to be "drier than Harriet Tubman's vagina."

Unsorted

  • "...so you hate him because he's anti-semantic?"
  • Not to mention: "Arr, I'm Cap n' Trade!"
  • Pretty much any time things don't go as planned.
  • The Tek Jansen theme song. Pretty much every line.

Tek Jansen, Alpha Squad Seven, facing the future of courage!
 Killing the aliens! Loving the aliens!
Sometimes loving, then killing the aliens!
Tek Jansen, wearer of starsuits, surfing the comet of danger!
Foiling his enemy, Thurmond Chang
And those affiliated with the Thurmond Chang Gang!

  1. ↑ Crack cocaine users tend to be black and powder cocaine users tend to be white
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