A Match Made in Hell (fanfic)

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"A Match Made In Hell" is a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction written by Ri 2, the individual responsible for Latias Journey and Brave New World, about the wacky hijinks during the marriage of Pete and Maleficent...

Anyway, the story begins with the Epilogue of Kingdom Hearts II, with Sora, Kairi, and Riku (who, by the way, have to share their minds and bodies with Roxas, Namine, and Xehanort's Heartless, respectively) getting a letter from King Mickey which asks them to come to his castle to act as a representative of a newly-formed confederation of worlds...

But the letter was a fake. It was a trick to get them to let the world barrier down so Maleficent could blackmail the trio into attending her wedding.

Contains, among other things:

• Mickey Mouse trying to set up an alliance of worlds with Sora's help.
• Pete and Xenahort competing for the right to be Maleficant's groom.
• Back at Destiny Islands, Tidus, Wakka, Chapau, Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fight Yiazmat, alien invaders and a giant robot toilet.
• A ridiculously long Mecha fight with the cast of Final Fantasy VII dressed as Power Rangers.

It's more complicated than described here, believe it or not. Read it here.

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Tropes present in this work include:

• The Alliance: King Mickey's plan is to gather together some of the guests at the wedding to organise a coalition of heroes to oppose Maleficent. Unfortunately, it falls apart because Simba is too suspicious of humans to participate, Leon is in the middle of a Heroic BSOD over his inability to defend his world, Zeus is more interested in having sex with Anything That Moves and Oberon refuses to join unless Mickey hands over every fairy in the universe to him. And then goes nuts and stuff.
• Anything That Moves: Zeus. He's trying to outdo Satan.
  • And possibly Roxas.

"Heh, I like that. The return of Roxas, last of the dread Organization XIII! Er, next to Zexion, that is. May the universe tremble before me as I shatter worlds and take all the hot babes and guys to my bed! Bwahahahahaha!... What? I was joking! Sorta."

• Attack of the Fifty Foot Whatever: In this case it's gigantic harmless bad guys, gigantic animal sidekicks and a gigantic Darkwing Duck.
• Aw, Look -- They Really Do Love Each Other: For Pete and Maleficent. Most notably when it's revealed Maleficent used magic on the wedding ring she gave Pete to make it so he wouldn't be harmed by any spell meant to kill him. Even though she also put a spell on it that made it so if she died, he would die, Pete is immensely touched by this. There was also when Maleficent's world was being rebuilt, Pete was able to guilt trip her into adding a memorial for all the good guys and bad guys that died when Oberon crashed the wedding.
• Badass Grandpa: Scrooge McDuck.
• Big Bad: Oberon is the main threat to the heroes in the story, but Satan is revealed to have been The Man Behind the Man responsible for the madness that turned Oberon evil in the first place.
• Break the Haughty: Uncle Scrooge does it to Flintheart Glomgold.
• Brother Chuck: Xion, but's she's canonically accounted for, anyway...
  • Although this is forgivable because the character didn't exist when the story began.
  • You mean didn't not exist. Or is it didn't not un-exist? Sheesh, it's so hard to get the grammar right when talking about nobodies.
• Came Back Wrong: Aerith is revived as a half-demon by Satan, though Merlin returns her to (mostly) normal by the end.
• Cat Fight: Maleficent and Peg have this at the Bachelorette Party.
• Conflict Killer: Oberon.
• Crack Fic: The (mostly) serious, well written kind, despite what you may think otherwise.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Selphie.
• The Cameo: Mewgle.
• Deus Ex Machina: Aerith is returned to her original self by Merlin rubbing the "666" mark off with spit. Granted, it was "Wizard Spit", but still...
• Dirty Old Man: Flintheart Glomgold and Zeus (technically).
• Doorstopper: Like most of Ri2's fanfics, this one is the length of a novel.
• Enemy Mine: The second half of the story is a huge battle against the minions of Oberon which forces heroes and villains to team up.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Vayne is disturbed enough by what he sees at Pete's bachelor party to switch sides in the epilogue.
• Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Although he believes he could beat Oberon, Yen Sid willingly gives up all of his power and sends all of his magic and knowledge away to avoid damaging the universe in the battle. Oberon can't understand why he'd give up his power; Yen Sid explains: "As an old friend of mine once said, if you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
• External Retcon: Tons of them, especially towards the end.
• The Fair Folk: Oberon.
  • And Maleficent, although in this fic she's also half demon.
• Fate Worse Than Death: Oberon is cast into the darkness to be tormented by his insane mother Queen Mab shortly after learning that Avalon was razed and his children either killed or kidnapped by demons from hell.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Yen Sid.
  • Also Pete, but he gets better.
• Holy Hand Grenade: Oberon uses one to banish Satan and his minions from the scene of the wedding. It doesn't last.
• I Am Not Left Handed: Satan only needs a quarter of his power to beat Oberon even after the latter consumes almost all of the magic in the galaxy. He even references Dragonball Z when he does it.
• I Am Not Weasel: Pete always has to correct everyone that he is a cat. He also has to correct everyone that he is not overweight, he's just big-boned.
• Interspecies Romance: Pete and Maleficent are the most obvious. Several others are mentioned. The most entertaining is Tifa and the Tale Spin version of Shere Khan. Really.
• Intelligible Unintelligible: Zurg's Hornet robots only have three sentences in their vocabulary, but Zurg seems to understand them.
• Jive Turkey: "Mastah S" lapses into this every so often.
• Kneel Before Zod: Oberon demanded King Authur to kneel before him, or he'd kill everyone. All it did was make Authur even more awesome.
• Loads and Loads of Characters: Even more so than canon...
• Limit Break: Several towards the end, in combination-attack form.
• Married To The Quest: In this fic, Cloud is hopelessly isolated from his friends thanks to his obsession with hunting down Sephiroth. It Gets Worse for him in his epilogue because Tifa acquires a new boyfriend (the Tale Spin version of Shere Khan) who is not only just as good as Cloud at organising the team at Radiant Garden to defend their world, but is actually there when he's needed.
• Mega Crossover: Almost everything is crossed over here, but it still holds together.
• Morally-Ambiguous Doctorate: Judge Doom reveals that he never actually graduated from law school. What a shocker.
• Mr. Exposition: Ven, Terra, and Aqua. Also Merlin, to a lesser extent.
• Mythology Gag: All over the place, naturally. However, there is a notable instance, namely Aerith's death, where this gets Played for Drama.
• Nobody Thinks It Will Work: Everyone thinks this about Pete and Maleficent except Mastah S, whether it be Maleficent's villainous admirers or all the other characters who are just disturbed.
• Official Couple: Pete/Maleficent, Shere Khan/Tifa, Vayne/Ashe, Montlbanc/Shara, as well as most of the standard Disney couples like Mickey/Minnie, Aladdin/Jasmine, etc.
  • And Sora/Riku/Kairi/Roxas/Namine, of course.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Jack Sparrow vs. Yuffie is set up as a Shout Out to the ninjas vs. pirates meme, but we don't actually get to see the fight. Since the story is so huge, some details not relating to the main story feel as though they could form the basis of entire fanfics on their own, such as the events that brought the Gargoyles and Toy Story characters to the wedding.
• Pet the Dog: Maleficent toward Nosimono. She is not a happy camper when he is hurt by Oberon ripping his arm off.
• Plotline Death: Zig-Zagged, When Aerith dies, they state that they can't revive her because Sephiroth killed her with the Masamune. Satan revives her anyway, though.
• Psycho for Hire: Sephiroth, who Oberon hires to crash the wedding. According to the author's notes he was meant to be the main villain before Ri2 had the idea to use Oberon instead.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Roxas taking over Sora's body to call out Leon for his Wangst.
• Reference Overdosed
• Refuge in Audacity
• Sequel Hook: In the final epilogue Satan reveals that the events of the story were part of a massive, long-term plan designed to create an army of Keyblade masters that he can control.
• Shout Out: There are as many of these as there are characters.
  • A particularly notable case is a subtle one to the webcomic Ansem Retort, when it states that Axel had no problem "burning down all those orphanages".
  • Not to mention an offhand remark about a demon named Etna and her exploding penguin brigade.
• Teens Are Monsters: Played straight with Pete's daughter Pistol and Yuffie, who share an interest in mayhem and larceny. However, they're later faced with the fact that they are indirectly responsible for Aerith's death.
• Token Evil Teammate: None other than Satan himself.
• Unexplained Recovery: Pete, Roxas.
• Wall of Text: If the story has one serious weakness, this is it.
• Wangst: In-universe, Leon wallows in it, and frequently gets called out on it by everyone else.
• Weakness Turns Her On: This is the reason Mastah S gives for Maleficent finding Pete a suitable husband.

"Now, my dawg Pete here, she likes him more than I think she's liked any man… BUT…he is kind of a wuss. Then again, she seems to like that in a man, for some reason. She likes feeling superior to 'em…and that's easier to do with a lackey than an equal."

• Where Are They Now? Epilogue: One that extends through three ridiculously long chapters, ranging from funny to melancholy, but covers just about every character.
• Worthy Opponent: Gilgamesh wants to fight Sora to claim his keyblade (he already has several keyblades, but he wants the original one for his collection).
• Xanatos Gambit: Satan allows Oberon to banish him and his demons to avoid his attack that incapacitates most of the magic-powered wedding guests and to trick Oberon into thinking he's not a threat, so he can send his minions to Avalon and cart all of Oberon's children off to Hell. Xanatos himself is mentioned but he doesn't actually appear.