Every Ape and His Brother

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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Every Ape and His Brother is the stage name for the guy who runs Dozerfleet Productions, and the term also serves as an imprint of Dozerfleet Records which stores parody lyrics to a lot of songs. The song lyrics are grouped into "albums," which are collections of (usually) 10 songs each.

Also, "Every Ape" is its own little story. Each album is a different chapter in a greater Story Arc. The story begins when someone calls someone else up to a red carpet meeting, stating "every ape and his brother will be there." This becomes more true than anyone predicted. Each album is titled after a different creature that shows up to the red carpet meeting.

First in line is Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!!, followed by Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante (apparently a cross between Al Capone and Babar.)

Songs on each album range in topic greatly, but generally deal with a common theme of an Everything Trying to Kill You Death World. It is like "Weird Al" Yankovic, but with a pinch of Bloodier and Gorier Sadist Show tendencies. Each song is told from the singer's point of view; but it's a different character each time. Singer characters range from the Righteous Prophet nobody believes to the sadistic Mad Bomber to a doomed victim to a random deranged killer who is cruel to animals. Black Comedy is the rule, though it sometimes borders on Dead Baby Comedy. Every now and then, a breather song will show up. These songs often mock commercialism, or revert to a more traditional Weird Al theme of imagining the artist singing about a topic they would never actually sing about.

Most of the songs are lyrical parodies, but the occasional style parody makes its way into the mix as well. "Once I'm Gone," for example, is a style parody of Daughtry and Nickelback; while bearing completely original lyrics.

The song collection can be found at its home page on DozerfleetWiki; but most of the song collection is also available at AmIRight.com [dead link].

Discography and Themes By Song

Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!!

  1. The Only Resort: Papa Roach's "Last Resort" becomes a song about a man with a compulsion to kill chickens, and consider no alternative to killing them.
  2. Why She Said "Seven Days": Leann Womack sums up the entire plot to The Ring to the tune of "Why They Call it Falling."
  3. Phantasmic: Jaci Velasquez takes a break from Christian Rock and starts singing a jingle for a new hair removal spray commercial.
  4. Doughboy: Kid Rock and the Pillsbury Doughboy merge into a Composite Character and sing about Pillsbury products.
  5. Ridiculous: Two clowns debate which one is clownier, and then threaten to kill each other in increasingly silly / violent ways, all to the tune of "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland.
  6. Lower!!!: Scott Stapp tries to warn the natives of some sort of Celtic tribe that the new cloaked men in blue are really demons in disguise wanting to drag everyone to Hell.
  7. They'll Claw You Open: Scott Stapp tries to warn visitors of a tropical island that the natives are rather humanitarian.
  8. The Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre: Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss' "Whiskey Lullaby" becomes a song about killing Winnie the Pooh.
  9. This Feels Obscene, It's an Earthquake: Based on a mondegreen for Fall Out Boy's "This Ain't a Scene, It's and Arms Race."
  10. Let the Elements Shine Down: Collective Soul's song "Shine" is repurposed as a listing of the Periodic Table.

Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante

  1. Cadmium: "Lithium" is retooled to be about a man's struggle with loneliness and dying RC car batteries after his stinginess drives everyone else away. In the end, he still has no friends. But his willingness to spend money on new nickel-cadmium batteries means that at least his toy cars work again.
  2. The Bison's Apocalypse: To the tune of Gym Class Heroes' "Cupid's Chokehold," a Flying Brick buffalo with all the subtlety of Godzilla goes around the world finding creative ways to kill anyone who claims it can't be done. A lone prophet must Walk the Earth and warn everyone before they are massacred for their arrogance.
  3. Serial Bomber: Exactly What It Says on the Tin. To the tune of "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood.
  4. Serial Bomber, Pt. 2: Remember the Numa Numa meme? Imagine it being sung by a man on a blimp who's about to be blown out of the sky by the serial bomber from the first song, solely because his wife's on the blimp and she was unfaithful to him.
  5. Salem (Story of a Trial): An Edutainment song about the Salem Witch Trials, set to the tune of "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days.
  6. Slaughterized: A woman cuts a man to ribbons while his ghost sings of the grisly fate.
  7. Once I'm Gone: This song is a style parody of Daughtry and Nickelback, and serves as a Protest Song to cliche eulogies.
  8. Livin' It Like al-Queada: Ricky Martin sings about The War on Terror.
  9. Miss A. Defendant: Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" gets sent to the electric chair.
  10. Die Die Die!!!: N'Sync's "Bye Bye Bye" gets an upgrade to a Darker and Edgier tale. The girl in "Slaughterized" is at it again; but the new man is not as much a helpless victim as his predecessor. When she threatens him; he decides to fight back in a battle that blurs the line between Cycle of Revenge and Escalating War.

The Chicken of the Opera

Being the most recent album, this one is not yet finished. However, a few of its lyrics are already posted.

  1. Jerry the Psycho Reindeer: Yep. Rudolph gets the Darker and Edgier treatment.
  2. Salt the Raging Hamster: "Puff the Magic Dragon" becomes a song about a dwarf hamster that mixes The Incredible Hulk with King Kong.
  3. Jokerfish: Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" gets stolen by The Joker, who repurposes the song to revel in reiterating to us the plot of "The Laughing Fish."
  4. The Eel Thing: Bo Bice warns ships about a giant sea monster.
  5. On the Ethics of Creating Werewolves: "Face Down" (Screamo Version) by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is retooled into a song about The Wolf Man.
  6. Meat Cleaver: Remember that guy from "The Only Resort" who loved killing chickens? Now he does it to ducks! To the tune of "Hash Pipe" by Weezer!
  7. Serial Bomber, Part 3: The Serial Bomber is believed to be dead. But it turns out he had an apprentice! Now, that apprentice is stalking a black widow to bring about some vigilante justice!
  8. As One: An anglicization of a song from the Philippines. Remarkable in that it contains absolutely nothing offensive, and nobody dies.
  9. Pokédices Apart: A Pokémon trainer mocks his defeated opponent to the tune of a song by Journey.
  10. War Crimes: An entire nation is destroyed in every imaginable way, while a young married couple flees in panic and the wife describes the atrocities committed against her neighbors. Set to the tune of "Firework" by Katy Perry, and done in the spirit of "Christmas at Ground Zero" by Weird Al.
Every Ape and His Brother provides examples of the following tropes:

"Then Roo was killed. / That left Kanga wishing she could kill herself.../" —"Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre"

"Emergency rooms are full / you're out of luck!"—"Earthquake"

"Jerry the Psycho Reindeer / always had a bloody nose / Got dead rats in his mailbox / followed everywhere he goes..."

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