The Ikaris

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A divorce lawyer's worst nightmare -- not mention their own... Written and illustrated by Jimmy Wolk.

After getting drunk at a party after the 12th Angel, Shinji and Asuka wake up... married! This could get messy... Of course, Asuka immediately claims she wants an annulment or a divorce, and Shinji is too flustered -- and frightened -- to protest. However, Asuka does not count on one thing: Gendo Ikari remembers Yui always wanted a large family...

The Ikaris is a Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction created by Jimmy Wolk, author of The Second Try and Aki-chan's Life. Unfortunately it has been dead for a while, but the author has expressed he would like finishing it. It also can be found in FF.Net.

Tropes used in The Ikaris include:

• Accidental Marriage: It kickstarts the plot.
• Accidental Pervert: Touji was not trying to peek in the girls' locker. He just was in the wrong place in the wrong time. Unfortunately, nobody believed him.
• Baka: Asuka constantly calls Shinji this.
• Battle Couple: Shinji and Asuka.

Asuka: "Now come on, baka! You'll have to watch me stomping that Angel into the ground!"

• Big No: Asuka utters one when she sees "Shinji" being struck down in the Super Gendo Super Show.
• Bunny Ears Lawyer: In spite of being a Wide-Eyed Idealist to the point of seeming a Cloudcuckoolander sometimes, Saori Tagawa seems scarily competent.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: Asuka.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Rei seriously wonders this about Misato at one point.
• Curse Cut Short: Misato, Asuka, Shinji and Pen Pen are watching the wedding tape. After telling "I do", Shinji grinned and told "Ha! Se...". The rest was not audible.
• Death Glare: Asuka practically throws one every chapter.
• The Determinator: Saori Tagawa. What else can you call a councilor whose business motto is "We never fail, you hear me?"
• Everyone Can See It: Maybe the thing Asuka is most annoyed about is the number of people thinking it was going to happen sooner or later.
• Everything's Better with Penguins: Pen-Pen tends to make the scenes way funnier. Examples include Misato arguing with him about a beer can as Shinji mutters Pen-Pen is not even talking about it and Asuka Ikari wonders if she is the Only Sane Person in the apartment.
• Failure Is the Only Option: Asuka wants a divorce (or so she claims). Keeping in mind Gendo is scheming against it and the author is an Asuka/Shinji shipper, you just know she will not get it.
• Fiery Redhead: Asuka already was one. And finding herself accidentally married has not improved her mood.
• Freudian Slip:

Asuka: Not that anyone would want this idiot. Who would want to be married to someone who was always excusing and whining and a coward and a wimp and hers... uhm... her -- s...stinging pain in the neck...

• Happily Married: For now it is being subverted, but if the fic ever gets completed, most likely it will be played straight for the end.
• Heroes Want Redheads: Shinji, obviously.
• Humongous Mecha: The Evas.
• Is That What They're Calling It Now?: Logical reaction from someone who doesn't know what a plug suit is.
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In chapter 3, Fuyutsuki comments that he hopes Gendo's fics aren't written in script format again. Gendo's response is shown in said format.
• Like an Old Married Couple: Hiroya Matsura, the lawyer handling their "divorce", suggests they sound like one. Later, Touji says his line about Asuka and Shinji being newlyweds... and he has a very unexpected reaction.
• Luminescent Blush: Asuka sports one after Rei gives her a present to wear on their honeymoon.
• The Maiden Name Debate: A hilarious example. Asuka tells there is no way she is taking Shinji's name... but she has already changed her name legally when they got married. So people calls her Asuka Ikari, and in NERV they had changed her name everywhere to Asuka Langley Ikari. The lawyer handling their case jokes about it by mixing his and her surname.
• Make My Monster Grow: Gendo, in the Super Gendo Super Show.
• Mandatory Motherhood: An implied example. Due to three billion people dying in Second Impact, numerous countries implemented laws to loosen marriage conditions and discourage divorce to encourage family development and boost birthrates. Japan apparently never bothered to repeal them, due to being too busy trusting shadowy agencies to build giant robots to fight off alien monsters. Asuka angrily dubs Japan "the Las Vegas of Asia".
• Manipulative Bastard: Gendo, obviously. The disturbing part is for once he is using his talents for good.
• Marshmallow Hell: Misato accidentally subjects Shinji one in chapter 6. It was not a good idea in hindsight since it helped to cement the marriage councilor's mistaken idea that Misato was Asuka's rival. Saori kicked Misato out of her own apartment and warned she would not tolerate her presence anywhere near the building. At least Shinji and Asuka got a fully paid apartment all for themselves out of it.
• Nobody Calls Me Chicken: All of it happened becasue Shinji and Asuka called chicken to each other. Asuka found Misato's secret beer stash and stated Shinji could not handle alcohol as good as her. then Shinji claimed she could not outdrink him. Very soon both of them were locked in a drinking contest quickly devolved into both daring each other to make increasingly dumber challenges. The next morning they woke up married. Asuka guessed Shinji bet she was too afraid to marry him (although it would be unsurprising if it happened the other way around).
• Noodle Incident: Misato has very narrowly avoided getting hitched to Kaji thanks to Japan's looser marriage requirements.
  • And then you have Fuyutsuki wanting to talk to Gendo about those Gendo/Rei lemon fics stored in his hard drive. Gendo retorted he had no idea what Kozo was talking about.
• No Export for You: Averted, though not as much as his usual fics. Besides English, the story is also available to read in -- so far -- German and Spanish.
• No Sense of Direction: Gendo Ikari does not get lost. That would be ridiculous. He only... finds himself temporarily and slightly disoriented.
• One of the Kids: It is... pretty disturbing, but Gendo Ikari shows traits of being one.
• Only Sane Man: Sometimes Asuka wonders if there is no sane people left but her.
• The Rival: Hilariously parodied with the marriage councilor when she believes Misato is Asuka's rival for Shinji's heart.
• Robot Girl: Rei in the Super Gendo Super Show.
• She Is Not My Girlfriend: He is not my spouse, in this case.
• Shipper on Deck: Misato... and, unexpectedly, Gendo. And Rei. She feels intrigued about the situation.
• Shout-Out: Several. In episode there is a shout out to The Child Of Love, a classic Asuka/Shinji fic by Axel Terizaki.
  • The name of the Super Gendo Super Show, anyone?
• Show Within a Show: The "Super Gendo Super Show", created by the PR department to make people more aware about Commander Ikari. They are making lunchboxes, too.
• Shut UP, Hannibal:

Saori: "Ahh! School! What a great time in life. The time when love blossoms for the first time; innocent and pure..." Hiroya: "Innocent and pure? The statistics of underage pregnancies are telling something else..." Saori: "Silence, Nonbeliever! You're not here to question me!"

• Tsundere: Shinji says Asuka is angrier than ever before, although it seems impossible.
• WAFF: Apparently, Commander Ikari likes writing waffy fics.
• Wide-Eyed Idealist: Saori Tagawa, the Ikaris' marriage counsellor boasts she has never failed on saving a marriage. She also has a very idealistic outlook about love and marriage. Attempts to talk her out of it are met with a sharp retort.