Teeny Weenie

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Because it's considered that Bigger Is Better in Bed, those men that have smaller genitalia are considered Acceptable Hard Luck Targets. This is almost always Played for Laughs, since Naked People Are Funny.

It is often implied that people with a small penis are Compensating for Something.

Despite women asserting that they really don't care about size, many men are absurdly concerned and insecure about how they measure up. It is one of the few body image tropes that is Always Male.

Possibly one of the reasons that Male Frontal Nudity is not common, since Most Writers Are Male. This is mostly a Take Our Word for It trope. Can be a part of a Humiliation Conga or Shameful Strip.

Inverse of Gag Penis. Contrast Bigger Is Better in Bed. Compare A-Cup Angst, which is similar in nature but almost Always Female(males do still have breasts).

No real life examples, please; this wiki is not a place to mock others for their real or perceived flaws.

Examples of Teeny Weenie include:

Anime and Manga

  • It is implied that Shinji has one in Neon Genesis Evangelion. He runs out of the bathroom completely naked, having been scared by Misato's pet penguin while in the bath. As he runs out, his genitalia are hidden by Misato's can of beer in the foreground. She lifts this up to reveal a much smaller box labeled "toothpicks" still covering everything that needs it. Misato asks him to "cover that up" and he quickly does so.
    • Then again, Shinji is 14 years old and with room to... well, grow.
  • Japan in Axis Powers Hetalia, according to Italy. "... Japanese people grower, not shower."
  • Apparently, Takamura from Hajime no Ippo. It would certainly explain why he and the other boxers tease and bully Ippo.
  • Yukiha from The Girl in the Library: Until The Pure You Falls From Grace mocks Aida's small penis which not only fails to satisfy her but drives her to become her own rapist's Sex Slave of her own free will. The two then have sex while he's mentally Forced to Watch them on his phone, breaking his heart and driving him insane.
  • In the now infamous hentai Tiny Boobs Giant Tits History (which spawned several memes on it's own) the older brother constantly makes fun of his sister's small chest. When the table is turned, via breast enhancement, it comes to light he has very little to be so cocky about.

Comic Books

  • The producer who takes over Cherry Comics in "Cherry Gets It in the End (And Mom Does Too!)" is portrayed as having a comically small penis.
  • There's one Underground Comics strip parodying Elf Quest. "Fluffer Nutter" lives with his family in the modern world, spends most of his time boozing and abuses his family. When Treestump's expy calls him out why he's so pissed despite being rich and famous, he shouts what the whole strip has been a build-up for, it seems: "I've got a teeny weeny pini!"


Film

Greg: A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?! Huh? Where are you, you sick fuck?! I'll kick the shit outta you, all right?! It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing it at!

Tank Girl: Well, okay. But I'm gonna need a microscope. And some tweezers.

  • Porky's has a team of boys out to get laid. It's no secret that their equipment comes in varying size, with this end being taken by Pee Wee.
  • Foxy Brown has the title character and a friend pose as High Class Call Girls to allow them to get upclose to a corrupt judge at a hotel sex party. After they strip him before sex, they immediately point and laugh at his genitals, asking him if there was a meat shortage. He laughs and plays along thinking this is all just part of the foreplay, until he's pushed out of the room naked into the hallway crowded with people, and they tell him to take his wet noodle somewhere else while they go find a real man to please them.
  • The central gag of the mostly-disdained Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.
  • In No Holds Barred, a redneck wrestler mocks the miniscule manhoods of two of the Corrupt Corporate Executive's accomplices in the Bad Guy Bar's bathroom.
  • The tragic events in Unforgiven began when Delilah, a prostitute, laughed at Quick Mike's small penis, which enraged the cowboy enough to cut her up. This sets off a whole chain of Disproportionate Retribution steps which ultimately end in bloodshed.
  • In Outrageous Fortune, this feature is the reason both protagonists realize the corpse in the morgue (which is burned too much for facial identification) isn't the man they've been sleeping with.

Literature

  • Dancer from the Dance: Sutherland's small penis is mentioned a few times.
  • In Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird: Some Instructions On Writing and Life, she recommends that in order to avoid lawsuits when writing a Captain Ersatz of a real man who might want to sue, give the character a tiny penis and the real man will never step forward and claim that's him.
  • In Behaving Bradley, one character acquires the nickname "Microdick" after the boys have to strip for swim class in the locker room. Later on, innocent Brainless Beauty Hopie asks Bradley what the nickname means, and he tells her that it's because the boy in question wants to become a disc jockey and use a microphone. Hopie responds, "Oh. I thought it had something to do with his penis."
  • Sisterhood series by Fern Michaels: John Chai in the book Vendetta, who is being used to represent Yellow Peril, is revealed to have this. Nikki and Alexis ask Yoko if it is true that Chinese men have a Teeny Weenie, and Yoko, giggling, confirms this.


Live-Action TV

  • Little Britain did the trope with big beefy nude bodybuilder suits with tiny genitalia.
  • Misfits: Kelly to Nathan, after getting him to proudly display for her it was actually a shapeshifter disguised as Kelly:

I don't date men with tiny cocks.

  • In Seinfeld, George is embarrassed when a woman sees him nude after he has just come out of the pool, and there is some "shrinkage"
  • In an episode of Son of the Beach where the characters were naked, the male lead had a much smaller Censor Box than The Ahnold.
  • In an episode of House, a woman took a naked photo of Chase at a party and posted it on Facebook. At first his crotch was pixellated, but later she uploaded an uncensored version, revealing this, apparently. The other characters, both male and female, teased him mercilessly for it, while Chase insisted the image had been doctored.
  • In the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode "The Ski Lift", Larry meets a woman, Lisa, who says that she used to date his friend, Jeff, but broke up with him because he has a very small penis. When Larry tells Jeff about this, he denies having a small penis, and says that actually it's Lisa who has a huge vagina.
  • During an MTV Reality Dating Show, a man decides to show up his adventurous side by stripping and streaking at a beach during his date with a woman. In the post-date commentary, when asked for a song suggestion that should be played at that moment, she recommends "All The Small Things" by Blink-182.
  • Married... with Children: One of Al's many shortcomings in the bedroom, at least by Peggy's standards.


Music

  • A one hit wonder group known as 20 Fingers, did a song called Short Dick Man, featuring a singer named Gilette basically saying she want nothing with someone affected by this trope.

Isn't that cute? An extra belly button!
You need to put your pants back on, Honey

  • At the end of the Hollywood Undead video "Everwhere I Go", the chorus of which repeatedly mentions Charlie Scene's "weenie" and how he loves to show it off, Mr. Scene is actually shown whipping it out. Similar to his face in the opening of the video, it's censored with a drawing of his mask which appears to take up just enough space to cover up a nickel.
  • Venezuelan parody chorus group Folie Vergue Taquititá has in their Christmas repertory a very dirty and hilarious version of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, where Rudolph's problem was having a cheese-poof sized dick. Santa Claus helps him by giving him a corncob to use as a replacement, but sadly, during Rudolph's first night of passion, the things become too heated and the corn becomes popcorn.

Theatre

  • The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) opens with the three players wearing nothing more than a fig leaf each. One of the fig leaves is noticeably smaller than the other two.
  • The play The Irish Curse dealt with a support group for the condition.
  • Madame Thenardier on her husband in her verse of Master of the House: "Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there!"


Video Games

Webcomics

  • In The Bare Pit, a male invites women over to his pool to skinny dip, while he's secretly recording them in order to upload the footage and sell it on the internet. However the video is intercepted by someone else who splices the footage to remove all traces of the woman and leaves only the shots of him naked, and releases it over the internet. The next day at school he's humiliated when not only is his reputation as a romantic playboy completely shot, he also has to deal with his new nickname "Inchworm."
  • In Mac Hall, Micah's ex-girlfriend posts something embarrassing about his penis in her blog. His current girlfriend Helen tries to console him by saying "I think it's cute." (It doesn't help.)


Western Animation

  • South Park has done this a few times:
    • In one episode, Osama Bin Laden is shown to have an absurdly microscopic penis.
    • One episode has the idea of compensating for a small penis as its entire premise. It turns out that all of the angry people in the world are just pissed off because they're below the average length. To fix the problem the "average length" is shortened (although, ironically, Cartman still doesn't make the cut).
    • In an early Pokémon-centric episode, the Japanese creators keep talking about how small their penises are as opposed the well-endowed Americans. One woman calls them out on this, saying that they're only saying this to distract the male Americans. While this is true, one of the creators proves that he's not lying about the size of his penis, either.
  • Celebrity Deathmatch episode, Deathbowl '98, after being told she couldn't hit Howard Stern below the belt, Kathie Lee Gifford response by saying that she would be lucky if she found "anything" below Stern's belt.
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