User:Damian Yerrick/crosswick worksheet
These changes were made by Damian Yerrick to the article Website/Cracked on TV Tropes between June 2012 and November 2013. The changes have been extracted in PmWiki markup from the article's history on TV Tropes and have been integrated into the Cracked.com work page but still need to be crosswicked in the respective trope pages.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "your princess can always wait a little longer" to complete a Fishing Minigame.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "a person's volume of blood often exceeds 78 liters."
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "if you have the right saddle, you can ride on freaking anything."
- Cracked.com's The 5 Most Badass Ways People Escaped from Slavery relates the story of Henry "Box" Brown, an African-American slave in Virginia successfully escaped to Philadelphia inside a crate and later bragged about how he did it. Slavery opponent Frederick Douglass was infuriated because he wanted this escape method to be kept secret so that other slaves could use it.
- Some xenobiologists argue that convergent evolution to a humanoid form is more likely than Starfish Aliens, according to #1 of Cracked.com's 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate.
- In Cracked.com:
- One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "eating food you find in the trash is good for you."
- Not everyone does. One of Cracked.com's 4 Things Movies Always Get Wrong About Awkward People is that people with No Social Skills necessarily want to be cured.
Ignorant of Their Own Ignorance
- Gladstone of Cracked.com lists 4 Douches Who Amazingly Don't Seem to Know They Suck. These include people who use a handicap tag for parking without actually needing one, people who grow weary of their customer service job, drivers who honk at other drivers merging onto a highway, and people who overreact to minor inconveniences.
- Taking 10 minutes to climb a stairway is Cracked.com's #11 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games, and accelerated crop growth as seen in farm simulation video games such as Harvest Moon series and Farmville is #6.
- Cracked.com's 5 Doctors Who Just Gave The World's Worst Medical Advice retells a CBS13 Sacramento story about a doctor who saw a woman with an oversensitive gag reflex and prescribed giving fellatio to her husband. PONOS to MOOTH, indeed.
- Cracked.com's 3 Reasons It's So Hard to Make Superman Interesting spends a page deconstructing the boring invincible hero and then another reconstructing a hero faced with the Sadistic Choice of whom to save at any given moment.
- Cracked.com's Mid-air direction changes and surviving falls are the #9 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics
- Cracked.com's The 5 Most Popular Ways Statistics Are Used to Lie to You covers some fallacies commonly used to lie with statistics.
- In Cracked.com"
- And comic books too. 5 Important Things You Won't Believe Comic Books Invented shows how Elvis Presley's appearance, Minecraft, and even ankle bracelets for monitoring criminals came from old comic books.
- Cracked.com's The #5 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is that one in five men can transform under stress.
- Cracked.com's The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction mentions the "Fregoli delusion" that several distinct people that someone meets are one person who quickly changes clothes, named after a stage actor famous for quickly changing into different costumes.
- #5 of Cracked.com's 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate explains moon fear as the result of a rise in lion attacks on the first few days after the full moon once the lions have become hungrier.
- Cracked.com's The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports describes an incident in the 1990s when the Canadian Football League was attempting to expand into the United States. At one game, the Canadian national anthem was sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree".
- Cracked.com's Johnny Depp and others in 5 Heartwarming Stories to Restore Your Faith in Celebrities.
- Cracked.com's The 5 Craziest Ways Famous Actors Got into Character mentions Adrien Brody, Tom Cruise, and more.
- Cracked.com's The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction mentions a mental disorder called mirrored-self misidentification, in which someone looking into a mirror believes that the monster in the mirror is an intruder performing a Mirror Routine, not oneself.
- Cracked.com's 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy lists tools used to prevent this reaction.
- Cracked.coms Monsters having internal gold sacs is one of Cracked.coms 27 Science Lessons As Taught by Famous Video Games and one of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games.
- The Statue of Liberty is Cracked.com's #1 Iconic Building That Was Barely Saved from Destruction because "when Lady Liberty gets destroyed, it means the apocalypse is here".
- In Cracked.com:
- Tony Stark using his repulsor ray to toast bread of all things is one of several Idiotic Real World Uses of Awesome Fictional Technology.
- A later Photoplasty added more. 22 Terrible Ways We Would Use Sci-Fi Technology include using a Star Wars lightsaber to chop a cucumber, or using Doc Ock's tentacles to serve food to customers at a restaurant.
- Being too nice is one of Cracked.com's 5 Innocent Things That Science Says Make People Hate You. Hence "negging".
- A Cracked.com' Photoplasty considers what would have happened If 40 Famous Movies Had $50 Budgets.
- In Cracked.com:
- From 5 Animal Rights Campaigns That Managed to Screw Over Animals, about the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring:
- One of the survivors was put in a program called Paws for Tales, where kids too shy to read aloud to human audiences practice their reading skills in front of dogs. No, really. That's not a sarcastic fake program we made up. (And that's not a stock image. That's Jonny Justice, the actual dog we're talking about.)
- From 5 Animal Rights Campaigns That Managed to Screw Over Animals, about the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring:
- Cracked.com's Photoplasty Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle depicts an elephant swimming and putting its trunk above the water as a snorkel, forming the famous photo of the Loch Ness monster.
- Plenty of them resulted from events described in Xavier Jackson's 5 Dumb Ways People Have Won at Sports.
- In Cracked.com:
- Discussed in 7 Modern Conveniences That Are Way Older Than You Think, which mentions Persian air conditioning, Roman shopping malls, Neanderthal medicine, and more.
- 6 Forms of Modern Depravity (Way Older Than Your Grandpa) shows late medieval Scottish rap battles, Japanese Edo period celebrity culture associated with the Kardashians, the FurryFandom in ancient Rome, medieval Catholic acceptance of gay marriage, and late medieval treehuggers in India.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "no matter how strong and powerful you are, some scrub will take you out with a death spell."
- In Cracked.com:
- Why the New 'Hunger Games' Movie Is Orange and Blue discusses this color scheme in the second Hunger Games film.
- In Cracked.com:
- Video: Do you have what it takes to title porn?
- The 10 Most Misleadingly Pornographic Movie Titles lists movies that could be mistaken for their own parallel porn title. It even lists which scenes could be kept unchanged.
- Girth, Wind and Fire. An article about unappealing porn titles notes that a much better title would have been Sperm, Bend & Tie Her.
- Cracked.com's #14 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is an allusion to Rudolph Zallinger's illustration "The March of Progress" done with game sprites.
The Password Is Always Swordfish
- Not always, but Cracked.com's The 10 Biggest Password Mistakes People Make lists a few that several "million uncreative bastards" end up thinking of under time pressure.
- From Cracked.com: "I've even seen people who insist that their televisions or vehicles require a special touch that only they know, a touch that usually turns out to be a pretty substantial punch or kick, which I guess makes their superpower physical abuse?"
- "Give Them a Dog" is #6 of Cracked.com's 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- It used to be inverted. #5 of Cracked.com's 5 Gender Stereotypes That Used To Be the Exact Opposite is that pink being for girls is a recent idea.
- Cracked.com's The 5 Most Epic Backfires in the History of Bad Jokes. From the lead: "The problem with sarcasm is that you can do it so well (or so poorly) that people don't realize you're joking."
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that police cars in a BeatEmUp are just for decoration. "Only trust your fists; police will never help you."
- What Pollyanna calls "the glad game" and others call "counting their blessings" is a coping mechanism that Cracked.com's Felix Clay calls "trivializing adversity" in 4 Ways We Don't Realize We Suck at Coping With Adversity.
- Stashes of erotic magazines and VHS tapes are one of Cracked.com's7 Ridiculously Outdated Assumptions Every Movie Makes.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "weakling + Amanita mushroom = bodybuilder."
- In Cracked.com:
- "Make Them American, Even if They're Not" is #3 of 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- In The 5 Most Insulting Defenses of Nerd Racism, J.F. Sargent defends the practice of sacrificing fidelity to the source comics in superhero films.
- In Cracked.com:
- 5 True Stories Cut from Movies for Being Too Unrealistic lists "mind-blowing moments from real life that Hollywood decided were too fantastic", such as John Dillinger taking three people hostage in Public Enemies but 17 in real life.
- In Cracked.com:
- The regeneration in first-person shooters since Faceball 2000 is the #23 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is to "duck and cover and stay put until you are fully healed."
- In Cracked.com:
- Implied by 6 Awesome Superpowers (That Would Suck in Real Life). For example, being able to throw lightning would require immunity to effects on sight and hearing similar to those of stun grenades, and force fields would need immunity to Not the Fall That Kills You.
- One of Winston Rowntree's The 4 Reasons We Fall in Love With a Piece of Pop Culture is that it's "porn", which he defines as any cultural work "that you seek out to animalistically fill a specific need." He runs through a bunch of things jokingly called porn, coining the retronym "Sex Porn" in the process.
- Cracked.com's The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports calls the Steagles, an alliance of longtime rival NFL teams from Pennsylvania when most of their regular players were drafted to fight World War II, "too stupid even for a sports movie".
- "Make Them Technologically Inferior" is #5 of Cracked.com's 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- One of Cracked.com's 22 Terrible Ways We Would Use Sci-Fi Technology is using a Franchise/StarTrek replicator to make a sex toy. It wouldn't be a stretch from real-life 3D printed sex toys though.
- Cracked.com's 3 Reasons It's So Hard to Make Superman Interesting spends a page deconstructing the boring Invincible Hero and then another reconstructing a hero faced with such a choice of whom to save at any given moment.
- How time works with this in play is Cracked.com's #17 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- Cracked.com's Photoplasty Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle shows what the figure in Edvard Munch's painting was screaming at: Superman.
- In Cracked.com
- 6 Spectacularly Failed Attempts to Be Politically Correct tells how Microsoft banned an Xbox 360 user from Xbox Live for being from Fort Gay, West Virginia.
- Seen on Cracked itself in the comments section, where things like "documentary" and "Japan" get censored because of "cum" and "Jap".
- Losing the ability to be surprised by entertainment is one of Cracked.com's 5 Warning Signs That You're Finally Getting Older. Entertainment will ruin your life with or without tropes.
- Rad, a film where the entire culture of a town is built around BMX, is cited in Cracked.com's "The 4 Weirdest Lessons '80s Movies Really Wanted to Teach Us" as the most ridiculous example of a hobby that saves the world.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is to avert this by putting a basket on the shopkeeper's head. "Robbery is easier than you think."
- #4 of Cracked.com's 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate points out a study finding that intelligence and education are somehow correlated with nearsightedness in real life.
- In Cracked.com:
- Most of the videos on the site have a single female.
- The 6 Most Bizarre Ways to Lose Popular Video Games describes a pub in the game Dishonored as containing "Havelock the leader, Piero the geeky inventor, and Callista the woman."
- Cracked.com's 5 Classic Movies Made by People Who Wanted Them to Fail mentions the 1955 romantic dramedy Marty, starring Creator/ErnestBorgnine, which was expected to fail (and save the studio a bundle on income tax) but when its ugly actors ended up resonating as more authentic to viewers, it ended up winning four Academy Awards and a Palme d'Or. The article describes its production as having "literally started out as the plot of The Producers."
- In Cracked.com:
- Cracked has done some of their own. For example, Robert Brockway's "5 Things You Learn From a Lifetime of Screwing Up" is probably a parody of David Wong and John Cheese articles.
- Cracked.com accuses Beauty and the Beast of this in 23 Romantic Movies Revised for Honesty and 5 Romantic Movie Gestures That Were Actually Dick Moves.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "it may take a few tries, but life gets easier once you figure out the patterns." The example is from Punch-Out!!.
- Cracked.com's 6 Technologies Conspicuously Absent From Sci-Fi Movies explores technologies widely available when several well-known science fiction films were first published that would have completely broken their plots: bicycles, night vision goggles, unmanned combat vehicles, Wi-Fi, GPS, and cell phones.
- Cracked.com's 6 Iconic Movie Scenes That Happened by Accident cites Viggo Mortensen's broken toe in the film of The Lord of the Rings, among others.
- Cracked.com's The toothlike serrations inside a penguin's mouth, used to grip fish, are #3 of the 7 Most Terrifying Mouths in Nature.
- Cracked.com's "5 Works of Art So Good, They Ruined Their Whole Genre" calls 2001: A Space Odyssey, David Bowie's The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, the film of Fight Club, two Bob Marley albums, and Animal House tough acts to follow in their respective genres.
- The Korowai tribe of Papua New Guinea live in tree houses 100 feet up to escape floods and predators, according to Cracked.com's 9 Houses You Won't Believe People Actually Live In and 6 Isolated Groups Who Had No Idea That Civilization Existed.
- Cracked.com calls The Truman Show one of 6 Movies That Accidentally Recreate Real Mental Illnesses because its plot resembles the real-life delusion that one's life is a reality show, a mental illness investigated by doctors Joel and Ian Gold.
- Cracked.com's 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate explores the real-life counterparts of five tropes that are more realistic than they may sound.
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "real men sleep in their armor."
- One of Cracked.com's reasons no one laughed at your joke is "It Was About Something They Won't Laugh About, Ever".
- Cracked.com's 6 Spectacularly Failed Attempts to Be Politically Correct gives a bunch of examples of how attempts to avert Monochrome Casting by including Black people in promotion campaigns ended up tripping over stereotypes about fried chicken, watermelon, and wanting to be white.
- Mario's numerous roles are evidence of a multiverse in Cracked.com's #15 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- Parodied as Cracked.com's #25 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games which teaches that the third spatial dimension was discovered in 1996.
- One of Cracked.com's reasons no one laughed at your joke is "They Didn't Have Enough Information to Get It". It states that the best practice for an Inside Joke that relies on knowledge of something obscure like Rocky IV or Battlestar Galactica Classic is to find a discreet way to explain the reference in the setup.
- #4 of Cracked.com's 4 Realizations That Will Ruin Science Fiction for You is that science fiction needs a "straight man" to whom the setting's rules are explained.
- "Psychology: People tend to say the same thing over and over" is Cracked.com's #9 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- Pokémon coming from eggs is Cracked.com's #27 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
- Invoked in Cracked.com's The 5 Most Aggressively Crazy Websites on the Internet, where Mark Hill compares Boohbah to "the findings of a scientist adding LSD to baby food."
- Invoked in Cracked.com's Photoplasty 21 Real Deleted Scenes That Completely Change Famous Movies.
- A favorite subject on Cracked.com.
- Deconstructed in David Dietle's 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly). For one thing, maggots and gut flora would devour the undead.
The last one
- Box and Stick Trap: #13 of Cracked.com's Photoplasty 18 Things You Never Noticed in Famous Pictures (Part 2) takes Kevin Carter's Pulitzer-winning photo of a vulture stalking a crouching Sudanese child and adds a ray of hope by having the child bait a vulture into such a trap. A kid's gotta eat somehow.
- Dumpster Dive: It's a way of life in Manshiyat Naser, whose residents live off Cairo's garbage, making it one of Cracked.com's The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In.