Pretty Killers is a Magical Girl novel series written by troper Pancake McKennz, and while it is scathingly satirical of many subjects, with the whole of its focus on millennial American pop culture, politics, and society, it steers away from lampshading or deconstructing the genre, though the characters are definitely Genre Savvy. The series' setting begins in June of 2009 and follows closely along Real Life chronology with a nod to events every couple of chapters. So, the reader can expect a sliding scale of Shout Outs to chronic Reference Overdose [1]

Cheer up, Tomika. You're not the only superhero with a dead parent.

"This country's gonna be screwed up for a while, isn't it?"

The story follows the life of Tomika Drake -- a 16-year-old cynic, born with Purple Eyes and raised in the urban parts of Michigan where she spent most of her childhood honing her fighting skills and ability to control nature according to lessons left in Jules Lenoira comic books. Jules Lenoira was a princess born with the same ocular oddity around the 1860s in a hidden kingdom in the islands of the Bahamas. But upon determining that the ways and rules of her people were less than satisfactory for explaining the science of the world, she abdicated her throne and came to Florida, which led to the death of her village at the hands of French witch-pirates. After defeating the leader of this roving gang, Jules dedicated her life to fighting against evil.

Tomika grew up believing this was a true story of her ancestor, but the death of her mother took away her courage and faith in the abilities she was born with. It is not until she has a comatose meeting with Jules that she learns to believe in her powers for the sake of saving humanity from an oncoming evil. Tomika, then, puts together a team of teens who all vow to protect the city from incoming threats. But of course, she and her family and friends have to deal with the ordinary and not-so-ordinary adventures of everyday life in between battles.

Diamonds (Book One)

 

With her mother gone and her father incarcerated, Tomika has been forced to spend the last three years living with her half-sister Jina Cordova and her mother Trecille Cordova. And the two specialize in making Tomika's life a living hell. On the night before her 16th birthday, Tomika finds out that Trecille has received a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with famed fashion mogul Anastacia di Stacci, prompting them all to move to opulent Gardenia Hills--a suburb of Queen City which is neighbor to Northern State who had just recently encountered a problem with humongous mutants terrorizing the metropolis, as well as a violent gang called the SKY-Gs (Super Kawaii Yakuza Girls) who run amok in the city after the police are fired due to salary disputes. Amidst a sex/murder scandal, the mayor of Northern State brings in Dr. Kalita Sotnik "Niki" Orlova, owner of a weapons manufacturing firm, who agrees to let her task force protect the city in exchange for use of the area's factories. But Dr. Orlova has plans to secretly start her world domination plot from this opportunity.

 
 

In her first couple of days in the new city, Tomika meets Allie Taliano, Kerou Karlrissian, Jizzelle Quezada and Morgan Harischandra. Three of the four girls agree to join Tomika in her efforts to save the city. Meanwhile, Jina and her longtime friend Jayla Cooke run into vacationing Canadian celebrities Danielle Marcelle and Marc Kearney and end up getting into a street fight. Later, at a party at Jizzelle's house, Tomika and an inebriated Danielle get into a fight over Marc, then Jina and Tomika get into a fight over respect. Jina's skills impress the leader of the SKY-Gs and she invites the girl to join the gang. Amongst stopping the rampaging mutants and the psychologically-damaged weapons expert, Tomika must decide if she wants to save her sister, or take the chance to finally do away with her while ending the SKY-Gs tirades.

 

Get the free e-book version, or if you like the smell of processed trees and pigmented water, physical copies are available available for purchase.

Tropes used in Pretty Killers include:
 

Trecille: I did not come this muthaf*ckin' far to lose this muthaf*ckin' job to muthaf*ckin' Felicia over somethin' as muthaf*ckin' stupid as no muthaf*ckin' clothes! I don't care if you've gotta hand-sew new ones from scratch. Get me my muthaf*ckin' clothes, Steffennie!

 
 

Trecille: Jina, no one can have sex seven times and be a virgin.
Jina: Well, not in the conventional sense, you know?
Trecille: Oh, okay, I get it. I get it. But sweetie, doesn't that, you know, hurt?
Jina: Not when I'm on my back. It actually feels kinda good like that.
Trecille: (cringes) ... Okay, we'll come back to that.

 
 

Tomika: I don't know how I let that rabbit get away with my bracelet. I feel kinda stupid about the whole thing.
Jules: Don't... it's why they're called jackrabbits

 
 

Construction Worker: You and all those other Mexicans need to go back across the border and stop stealing our jobs.
Trecille: I'm Puerto Rican, bitch! (punches worker in his mouth)

 
 

These aren't tears, Sarah. This is mom and dad's blood. You don't understand that it is my fault that half of our village is dead. I was not there to protect them and I have been trying to trick myself into believing that every day from the time I left the village is justifiable. ... You just don't understand how I wish that I had not been born with these eyes, but I wouldn't even wish this responsibility and remorse on anyone else. The penitence alone is an enduring torment.

 
  1. One chapter featured 2 1/2 pages of debating which decade was better between the '90s and the '00s with over 100 name drops of television shows, musicians and products in the dialogue.
  2. The coquí is a tiny frog indigenous to Trecille's birthplace of Puerto Rico
  3. Coneja is Spanish for 'rabbit'
  4. Her name means "Tuesday Bitch" in French.
  5. pornstar Jesse Jane (as a reference to her role in the 2005 film Pirates)
  6. Jack Kerouac, Kim Kardashian and Lando Calrissian
  7. John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe
  8. Russian historical figure Ivan I Danilovich Kalita; Sotnik (which is Slavic for "commander") & Internet personality Marina Orlova