Lovable Coward

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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Some barbarian is waving my shield, since I was obliged to leave that perfectly good piece of equipment behind under a bush.

But I got away, so what does it matter? Life seemed somehow more precious. Let the shield go; I can buy another one equally good.
Archilochus, responding to the Spartan saying, "Come home with this shield or upon it."

The flip side of the Dirty Coward is the Lovable Coward. Not quite a hero, completely lacking in heroic impulses, but even as he shamelessly runs and hides we somehow still find ourselves rooting for him. His cowardice is sometimes played for comedy, sometimes portrayed as simply the most sensible course of action; it seldom if ever endangers innocents. The Lovable Coward never (or hardly ever) puts Honor Before Reason - and considers this a point of pride. The Lovable Coward is often a Trickster, specializing in weaseling his way out of dangerous situations. He may be a Cowardly Sidekick; if he is the main hero, he may find himself an Accidental Hero for all the wrong reasons.

Contrast: Dirty Coward, The So-Called Coward, Miles Gloriosus, Cowardly Lion

Examples of Lovable Coward include:


Anime & Manga


Comics

  • Volstagg the Voluminous, of Marvel Comics' trio "The Warriors Three", is a cowardly, tremendously fat braggart with a bizarre amount of success in battle, partly due to his own lies. Then one day he was the only one mobile when an army threatened Midgard. He managed to pull together a defense and Took a Level In Badass. Judging by his name, he is probably based on Falstaff.
    • Averted in the movie where, while we don't see much of him in combat what we do see he's kicking ass as much as Fandral and Hogun
  • The Dog of Footrot Flats talks himself up (metaphorically) but tends to run away very fast from any hostile dog (and some cats) bigger than him. Although he's still a competent sheepdog.
  • Sir Rodney from The Wizard of Id gets most of his humor out of being a complete chicken.


Films -- Animation

  • The error-prone inept and immortal wizard Schmendrick from The Last Unicorn was not only a Lovable Coward but found himself in the role of the Accidental Hero, until the more conventional hero and Knight in Shining Armor Prince Lir turned up in the latter half of the story. Both Schmendrick and Lir were uncommonly Genre Savvy; they knew what roles fate had destined them to play, to the point of Lir's Heroic Sacrifice to save the unicorn from King Haggard's monstrous Red Bull.
  • In The Swan Princess, Derek's friend Bromley is not nearly as courageous as he pretends to be, but comes through in the end. Jean-Bob, the frog who thinks he's a prince, has shades of this as well.


Films -- Live-Action

  • Bob Hope, in many of his movies.
  • Valentine in Mirror Mask.
  • Monty Python and The Holy Grail has Sir Robin, the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, and who had nearly stood up against the Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the battle of Badon Hill:

 Brave Sir Robin ran away

"No!"

Bravely ran away away.

"I didn't!"

When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled

"No!"

Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about

"I didn't!"

And gallantly he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet

"I never did!"

He beat a very brave retreat

"All lies!"

Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

"I never!"


Literature

  • Yossarian in Catch-22.
  • Rincewind of Discworld fame.
    • To some extent, Fred Colon and Nobby Nobbs, though they've seen trouble before and usually square up to it if there's no other option, or Vimes needs them to do so. But mostly, "When the time came, he [Nobby] would not be found wanting. He would not be found at all."
      • "He had always thought heroes did heroic things for God and Country and mother's apple pie. He never thought they might did them because they might be yelled at if they didn't." (Actually, Colon isn't so concerned with being yelled at in that scene as with having Vetinari raise his eyebrow at him.)
  • Flashman... maybe. On a good day. Usually a pretty shameless Dirty Coward, but he has his moments.
  • Ciaphas Cain definitely counts.
  • The title character of The Bartimaeus Trilogy.
  • The Humbug in The Phantom Tollbooth.
  • In Castle in The Air, the sequel to Howl's Moving Castle, Sophie describes Howl as being cowardly (as well as sly and selfish and vain as a peacock). When Abdullah comments that she seems strangely proud of Howl's vices, she states that she's just describing him. (She does really love him, including his bad traits.)
  • Horace Slughorn of Harry Potter prefers to take the easy option over a direct confrontation with the enemy, but proves his inner bravery when he rallies reinforcements in Hogsmeade during the Battle of Hogwarts and leads the Slytherins into battle after previously evacuating them. And even before that, he's still a likeable guy.
  • Pierre Gringoire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He tries to do his best to help save Esmeralda, but when his own neck is at stake he decides he'd rather not.
  • Piglet of Winnie the Pooh is almost certainly this, a timid stammering Neat Freak who fears every superstition and mythical animal his friends make up. The Disney adapted version dials this Up to Eleven (along with adding Lumpy to the list as well).


Live-Action TV

  • Bret Maverick. The entire Maverick clan, of which there are a massive number, have made cowardice their family motto for generations.
  • Vinton Harper from Mamas Family.
  • Vila from Blakes Seven: cowardly but cute and funny, and able to unlock any door to get himself or other main characters out of trouble...

 Vila: There isn't a lock I can't open... if I'm scared enough.

Blake: Are you scared enough for that one?

Vila: What d'you think?

  • Merton J. Dingle from Big Wolf On Campus. Despite being a guy who has hidden behind girls during fights with supernatural beings, has regularly redirected the Big Bad towards his best friend and show's hero in order to keep himself safe and has outright apologised to enemies if a plan or strategy he used against them doesn't work; he's still an incredibly lovable (and funny) character.
  • Kaamelott's Bohort. He's mostly a coward, but then again his all-around good nature makes him rather endearing, all the more so since many other characters are brutes.
  • Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis. Well, usually.
  • Pirate Percy from Candle Cove is a pirate who's almost too cowardly to even go into caves to look for treasure.
  • Rimmer of Red Dwarf is a Dirty Coward, a consummate backstabber, a human danger detector... and also, as he points out himself, rather sweet. Sometimes. He improves over the course of the series.

 Rimmer: Follow the Rimmer-shaped blur.

  • Captain Blackadder in Blackadder Goes Forth tries everything to get out of the war. But since the war is portrayed as a completely pointless waste of human life, the audience roots for him.
  • Patrick Jane of The Mentalist sometimes acts as this. His cowardly moments make him more endearing because it reveals that under his cool facade he still experiences the same fears as everyone else.


Theater

  • The classic example is Shakespeare's Falstaff, the originator of the timeless saying, "The better part of valor is discretion, and in that better part I have saved my life."
  • Papageno in Mozart's The Magic Flute.


Pro Wrestling

  • Norman Smiley, a goofy British-born wrestler in WCW. He was loved by fans for his entertaining dance moves, but was such a coward that he'd wear heavy padding during his matches and would scream like a little girl whenever it seemed like a villain was about to get the better of him in the ring. Even when he somehow managed to win the Hardcore Championship, he was terrified of having to defend it in Hardcore Matches and kept trying to deliberately lose the title (which didn't work for a long time).


Video Games

  • Axel from Disgaea 2 is a fallen "Dark Hero", one-man Goldfish Poop Gang and all-around goofball, frequently making up excuses whenever his can gets kicked. However, much like his spiritual predecessor Mid-Boss from the first game, he winds up helping out Adell and company late in the game (but not out of the kindness of his own heart).
  • Luigi, originally nothing more than a sprite recolor of his older brother Mario, has slowly developed into one of these.
    • To say nothing of the Toads: even at his worst, he's still braver than these guys.
  • Captain Linebeck in The Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass is one of these for most of the game.
  • Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy V runs away when battles turn against him, generally claiming urgent business has suddenly come up. Later he does the opposite with a Heroic Sacrifice.
  • In the sidekick (and mostly comedic) vein, how about Arnaud G. Vasquez from Wild Arms 4? At one point in game, he actually runs away and cowers behind a box, leaving the rest of the main characters behind. He does get better, in a 'true bravery means working around your fear' way. And by working around your fear, we mean smashing him with a squadron of fighter jets.
  • Louis from Left 4 Dead. It seems in the Canon, his fear of the infected seems to get him and the rest of the gang in trouble, due to his tendency for flight over fight. Despite this, his ridiculously optimistic attitude and emphatic enthusiasm makes him one of the more entertaining characters for many players.
  • Saemon Havarian from Baldurs Gate II is either this or a Dirty Coward, with a heavy dosage of Your Mileage May Vary. During the course of the game he ends up dumping you in the cacky no less than five times out of pure self-interest and tends to teleport away whenever things go bad for him. On the plus side, associating with him gives you access to the Infinity+1 Sword, at least one of said dumpings is into an extremely lucrative Sidequest, and the two last are against foes you could beat while asleep at that point (and he is very much aware of this) and ends up saving you a frontal assault against an enemy stronghold.
    • The first game has poor Khalid, a shy, nervous, but kind-hearted fighter with decent dexterity and at least 1/3 more hit points than many other party members. Given tons of armor he's a fantastic tank, it's just he has this tragically low morale score..."Better part of valor! Better part of valor!" In some circumstances this is actually helpful though, like when he's an inch from death and you can't get a healer into melee to save him.
  • The Spathi of the Star Control series are like this. Their ship is even designed to fight while running away. It's also one of the more powerful ships in the game.


Web Comics

 Dies: I AM A COWARD! I KNOW WHEN TO RUN! Come on!


Western Animation

 Eddie Izzard: We love Shaggy and Scooby because they were cowards! Because we can identify with them. We love them! The other guys driving the van? Fuck off!