Homestuck/Characters/Guardians and Lusii

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> OPEN CAST CABINET: NOTABLE HUMAN AND ALIENOID PROTECTORATES

You open the folder regarding those whose duty it is to nurture others in this story, and give it a quick perusal.

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Guardians

Dad (Mr. Egbert)

John's father. Very supportive of John, and obsessed with pipes and hats.

• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass
• Determinator: Apparently, he had multiple escape attempts from the Imps, refusing to give up no matter how many times he was thrown back in his cell.
• Doting Parent: As required to by his Coddlebrand, which causes John to Wangst considerably for the first act.
• Epileptic Trees: Could he be Problem Sleuth? (Answer: No).
• Eyeless Face: All the adults so far have been featureless except for one part of their face. Mr. Egbert's one feature is his nose.
• Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: Smokes a Pipe of Patriarchal Authority.
• Improbable Weapon User: He uses cakes and shaving cream.
• James Bondage: The Shale Imps capture him repeatedly after John's house is transported into the Incipisphere. He manages to break out just as frequently, however.
• Kitsch Collection: He has a fanatical obsession with harlequins and joker figures. Or maybe not.
  • Whether or not he likes harlequins, he certainly likes pipes.
• Megaton Punch: He delivers one to a Shale Imp during his escape from the dark world.
• Noodle Incident: And he also has a restraining order from Cirque Du Soleil, although the reason why has never been fully explained.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: It's heavily suggested he knows more about the overarching plot than previously thought.
• Official Couple: With Ms. Lalonde.
• So Proud of You: A note left in the safe, claiming that since John was strong enough to lift it, he's now a real man. Subverted however, since John is definitely unable to lift the safe; it only opened when it broke after Rose dropped it on an Imp.
  • He seems to do this all the time, perhaps because of John's wall scribbles, on which he calls himself a "fool" and a "lame kid".
• Super Strength: Dad is just as strong as a kid thinks his father is. He is powered by pure MANGRIT. While on Derse, he punches a Shale Imp right through a stone wall. Add this to the fact that he also expects his son to be able to lift a huge floor safe, and it's pretty likely he has this.
  • He is indeed quite strong.
• Trickster Archetype: Much less so than his mother or son, but John observes quite early on that Dad usually enjoys the prankster's gambit on their exchanges, so he has the skills, if nothing else.

Mom (Mrs/Ms/Miz. Lalonde)

Rose's mother. An alcoholic rich woman.

• Action Mom: While she doesn't seem to care that much about her daughter (or does she?), she's still a mom who knows kung fu.
• Alcoholic Parent: See Lady Drunk
• Alternate Character Interpretation: She constantly showers her daughter in ridiculously over-the-top, elaborate ways. Rose interprets this as her being cruelly sarcastic, but whether the displays of affection are actually malicious or genuine has yet to be determined.
  • Also, it's implied that she may have a few screws loose.
• Badass: Has shown herself to be every bit as competent as the other Guardians in a fight.
  • Badass Labcoat
• Crazy Prepared: She had a secret escape passage made in the family cat's tomb. This comes in handy once the fire gets dangerously close to the house.
• Drunken Master: BLOTTO-PARRY!
• Kitsch Collection: Like Mr. Egbert, only her house is filled with artwork of wizards rather than clowns "harlequins".
• Lady Drunk: Is always shown with a gin martini in one hand, and it's implied she's an alcoholic.
  • She left her ever present drink behind when she left Rose in the Land of Light and Rain, presumably to take on the huge monster that we see her killing in >Jack: ASCEND.
• Mad Scientist: The passage underneath Jaspers' mausoleum leads to a gigantic underground laboratory that houses cloning machines, among other weird devices. There is another passage that leads up to Mom's bedroom (or what Rose thought was Mom's bedroom), so she's clearly in on it.
• Scarf of Asskicking: Had it when she's nearly blown up by the meteor carrying baby John; gets it back from Dad when they're reunited in Skaia.

Bro

Dave's brother. Like Dave, he is obsessed with being cool. Has a bizarre puppet obsession.

• Alternate Character Interpretation: His creepy obsession with puppets seems to be closer to a fetish. Dave interprets this as him being ironic to a level that Dave can't even begin to understand, because it freaks him out to think otherwise.
• Badass: Even more so than Dave. He's squared off against Jack who had not long ago slaughtered an entire army in mere moments and destroyed a moon, cut a meteor in half while riding it, and is fast enough to fight via puppet proxy.
• Cool Shades: Kamina shades, to be precise. John's referring to them as "Dumb anime shades" seems to confirm this is deliberate.
  • Word of God says that it wasn't deliberate at first, but was made a retroactive reference once his forum-goers asked him about it and brought Kamina to his attention.
• Crazy Awesome: If this update doesn't qualify him for it, not much else will.
  • Or this one even moreso. He moves so fast that Dave, who is pretty fast himself, winds up actually fighting Bro's afterimage.
• Crazy Prepared: He carried around a baby-sized copy of his own Cool Shades for the day when Dave would come hurtling out of the sky in a meteor and destroy his favorite record shop.
• Ensemble Darkhorse: Rocketed up to this after his Strife technique was unveiled.
• Fingerless Gloves
• Flash Step: The undisputed master. He uses it mainly to make Lil' Cal even creepier. And in battle, he uses it to basically use Lil' Cal to fight by proxy. And watch out when he actually steps into the ring using this.
  • And by "fighting by proxy", we mean live-action stop-motion.
• Giving Someone the Pointer Finger: He's fond of doing this before duels.
• Hotblooded Sideburns
• Kitsch Collection: He collects disturbing "radical puppets" for work and pleasure.
• Marionette Master: He doesn't use Lil' Cal in the traditional way, but that just makes him all the more awesome.
• Only Known by Their Nickname
• Promotion to Parent: Bro is Dave's older brother and serves as his guardian. Bro is actually Dave's (and also Rose's) biological father by genetic engineering, so he is a subversion.
  • Demotion To Sibling?
• Sibling Rivalry: Dave says they're both very competitive, and he only undertakes certain activities (like getting the Sburb Beta) to try and outdo his Bro. Despite this, Dave really does admire him and aspires to be exactly like him.
• Too Cool to Live: Much like the guy he was retroactively a reference for.
• Worthy Opponent: To Jack Noir. That should about tell you what you need to know.

Becquerel

Jade's guardian. A reality warping dog, and the probable first guardian of Earth. Later on is prototyped with Jade's Kernelsprite. This is not a good thing.

• Big Badass Wolf: Yet also:
• Big Friendly Dog
• Cool Pet
• Immune to Bullets: Instead, he plays fetch with them.
• Meaningful Name: Becquerel is the SI derived unit of radioactivity.
• Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: A giant radioactive dog/wolf/devilbeast-thing/Guardian of Earth with reality-warping abilities. Coolest. Pet. Ever.
• Promotion to Parent: In the absence of any other parental figure, Bec serves the role of looking after Jade and keeping her out of trouble.
• Reality Warper
• Really Seven Hundred Years Old: He appears to have come from a meteorite impact during the Carboniferous period, which puts his age at around 300 million years. Or rather, exactly 413 million.
• Trademark Favourite Food: "You dial up a thick T-BONE STEAK, which you are sure Becquerel is in the mood for because he is in the mood for steak every day and is never in the mood for anything else."

Lusii

Lususprites

The trolls' sprites, with the exception of Aradiasprite. Prototyped with their Lusus Naturae, a kind of monster that takes the place of a parental figure in troll culture, all of which had beforehand died in bizarre and tragic accidents.

• Badass Moustache: Aurthour
• Battle Butler: Subverted with Aurthour - despite serving as Equius's butler, he can't take a punch.
  • Played straight, actually. Turns out Aurthour is a member one of the strongest lusus species on the planet. It's just that Equius is really strong.
• Brown Note: Feferi's lusus kills trolls if its voice is ever raised above a whisper. If it ever got really upset, it would release a psychic shockwave that would kill all trolls in the galaxy. Fortunately, this will not happen so long as it is fed and happy. Eventually it does happen, and Sollux appears to die this way.
• Dropped a Bridge on Him: Because their deaths were spoiled beforehand, some of the Lususes get very unceremonious deaths.
• Eldritch Abomination: Feferi's lusus, while also being absolutely massive. It's holding a whale up to its beak, for size comparison.
  • Confirmed to be an emissary to the Gods of the Furthest Rings.
• Giant Enemy Crab: Karkat's sprite.
• Giant Flyer: Kanaya's Mother Grub, which she rides around on.
• Giant Spider: Vriska's lusus is bigger than all the others introduced before it combined... up until Feferi's showed up.
• Horror Hunger: Vriska's lusus eats troll children.
  • Feferi's lusus must always be well-fed. Or else it will raise its voice, which will kill every troll in the galaxy.
• High-Pressure Blood / Ludicrous Gibs: Best lusus death yet.
• The Hyena: Terezi's sprite.
• I Have Many Names: Feferi's lusus.

GL'BGOLYB, a deep sea monster also known as THE RIFT'S CARBUNCLE, EMISSARY TO THE HORRORTERRORS, or in more hushed tones, SPEAKER OF THE VAST GLUB.

• Kraken and Leviathan: Feferi's lusus is reminiscent of certain giant sea monsters.
• Leitmotif: "Crustacean" for Karkat's sprite. They all get a collective death theme.
• Mercy Kill: Vriska puts her dying, trapped spider lusus out of its misery.
• Our Centaurs Are Different: Equius' lusus, Aurthour. It actually looks like how centaurs are normally depicted, with the exception of having cow udders (despite its otherwise masculine appearance), which is a Mythology Gag to Andrew's Nightmare Fueled series at Team Special Olympics called Humanimals.
• Our Dragons Are Different: Terezi's lusus is a blind dragon that communicates telepathically, "sees" through smell and taste (which it taught Terezi how to do), spends it childhood in a giant egg, and hatches from it fully grown.
• Seahorse Steed: Eridan's lusus.
• Stealth Pun: Eridan's trolltag is caligulasAquarium, and his lusus is a seahorse. Does this remind you of anything?
• Tear Jerker: You know they're going to die. Some of the deaths--especially in the cases of Gamzee's guardian, Tinkerbull, and Aurthour--can be particularly heartwrenching.
• Ugly Cute: Karkat's sprite.
  • Tavros' too, which is some weird bull-fairy thing named Tinkerbull. It's much smaller than the custodians revealed before it.
• Uncatty Resemblance: Sollux's bicyclops has the same red and blue eyes as he does, the virgin Mother Grub has Kanaya's horns and lips, and Vriska's giant spider has a fang bent like one of her horns.