Voltaire (musician)

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Voltaire. Ain't he cute?

Aurelio Voltaire is a musician, animator and comic book artist popular in the goth scene and among anime and sci-fi fans. Lately he's been crossing over into Steampunk. His most popular songs include "Brains" (Remember that episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy with the brain-eating alien? Yeah, that was him.) and "When You're Evil". Most of his songs poke fun at the New York City goth scene, and anything else he either loves (Star Trek & Star Wars) or hates (New Jersey).

He was born in Havana, Cuba. His family moved to Jersey when he was a child (which he hated) and currently lives in New York City. He does claymation, mainly channel I.D.s, which he started when he was only 10 years old. He currently teaches stop-motion animation at The School of Visual Arts in NYC when he's not touring.

His music is mainly satirical, but some of his songs can be quite serious and deep. Most of his songs have a folk-music feel to them.


It's also the name of one of history's most celebrated essayist, philosopher and writers. But who cares about that? He does.

Has a Youtube channel with some of his stop motion animations, and another where he uploads music and vlogs.

Discography:

Voltaire (musician) provides examples of the following tropes:

First time I had sex was three
First time consensual was 13.

They act like rabid monkeys, chained up at the zoo,
And The Bible says that each of us is modeled after you.
Well hell that should offend you Lord, if it does here's what you do.
You just look down, shake your head.

  • Hurricane of Puns: If you can listen to "Cannibal Buffet" all the way through without at least smiling, you have no soul.

Oh, trouble was afoot - they were eatin' mine
Toein' the party line,
I was startin' to feel, "these guys are heels"
But, the truth be told, these cannibals have got sole
Hey, numbskull, look at me, I got a bone to pick with thee
You ain't humerus, stop ribbin' me
Have a spine, bone up on settin' me free

  • I Love the Dead: "Dead Girls" and "Zombie Prostitute"
  • I Will Wait for You: "The Sea".
    • "I stand under moors / Searching a sea of blue/ And forever more, I'll wait here for you."
    • Also in "Anastasia".
  • I'm a Man, I Can't Help It: "It's Normal For A Man."
  • Ironic Echo: The chorus to "Crusade", and it gains another layer every time it comes around.
  • Large Ham: Basically in every song he acts like this.
  • Least Rhymable Word: a hilarious example from "Straight Razor Cabaret." On his Youtube page, he said that "face raper" was the only thing he could think of that rhymed with "straight razor." When it was pointed out to him that the two phrases don't actually rhyme, he decided he didn't care.
  • Losing Your Head: In the song "The Headless Waltz."
  • The Masochism Tango: "Stuck With You" is about a couple arguing and listing off all the horrible things they've done to each other. . . with an ending that's fifty percent Bittersweet and fifty percent Squick.
  • Manly Tears: From "The Ship's Going Down:"

"For my son I had always a plan, for to raise him as best as I can./Oh well you can bet, my only regret is to not see him grow to a man."

I was on a plane...so I started watching that TV, y'know, the little TVs they have on the backs of people's heads on the plane?...So anyway, I was flipping through the channels, and I came up on Cartoon Network, and as it happened, they were playing a movie called Billy and Mandy's Big Boogey Adventure. I wrote and preformed the title track for this movie. So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at it and I'm like (makes incredulous, happy face) and then I realize I have no one to tell. I can't even use my phone! So eventually I just can't contain my enthusiasm and I start yelling "That's me! That-that that's me!"

  • Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Dunce is all about this. The lyrics lament the fact that the narrator always says something offensive.
  • Otaku: Voltaire loves Lolita and also Japanese things it seems, though he also mocks it, especially in his comic Deady Big in Japan, which poked fun at every Japanese cliche he could fit.
    • The image of him on his life album cover is chibified.
  • Overly Long Title: "Death Death (Devil, Devil, Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil Song)"
    • Which is why he and the fans usually shorten it to "Death Death etc."
    • "Riding on A Black Unicorn Down The Side of An Erupting Volcano While Drinking From A Chalice Filled With The Laughter of Small Children". He doesn't even fit it all on the album cover.
  • Pep Talk Song: "Innocent," to everyone who is dealing with bullying.
  • Perky Goth
  • Robosexual: The king in his new song "The Mechanical Girl". King's wife leaves him, king demands inventor's robotic replacement-for-a-dead-daughter as his new wife, king tries to sleep with said robot, she attacks him with rocket launchers and flamethrowers, kills him and lays his kingdom to waste, returns home to dad. Lesson: Never steal a man's daughter from him. Especially if she has rocket launchers and flamethrowers.
    • He was actually going to pitch a show based on this...
    • Also "The Sexy Data Tango", obviously.
  • Robot Girl: "The Mechanical Girl."
  • Satan Is Good: A concept explored in "Almost Human", "Death Death (Devil, Devil, Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil Song)" .
  • See You in Hell: The song of the same name.
  • Shout-Out - In the song To the Bottom of the Sea, right after the stanza "Down at the bottom were treasures galore/But guarding so greedily/Was an angry horde of skeletons with swords/Down at the bottom of the sea!", you can hear someone shout "For the Horde!"
    • He gives a shout-out to himself in "Alchemy Mondays", when he says, "Hold everything, they're playing my song...." The music stops, and we're treated to a line from "When You're Evil".
    • There's also this bit from "The Vampire Club": "Dressed in black from toe to head/Singing, 'Bela Lugosi's still undead!'
    • There are also plenty of allusions to or paraphrasings of lines from "Bohemian Rhapsody" in "Hell in a Handbasket".
    • "Graveyard Picnic" is basically a long love letter to Edgar Allan Poe.
    • "Don't Go By The River" has a Shout-Out to Lestat.
  • South of the Border - "Day of the Dead"
  • Space Whale Aesop: The aesop of "The Mechanical Girl".

Never take a child away from a loving parent. Especially not ones who make children who shoot rockets from their eyes.

  • Stock Ness Monster: "Beast of Pirate's Bay". May also constitute as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. Also mentioned in "To the Bottom of the Sea".
  • Take That: "God Thinks" has the immortal lines, "And I... I know what God thinks: God thinks you're an idiot!"
    • Another one in "Hell in a Handbasket": "Oh, good Lord...we both know Hell don't exist - Except in the minds of the poor fools who believe!"
    • "Bomb New Jersey" is all about how much Voltaire wants to take revenge against New Jersey for sucking so much.
      • "Hell in a Handbasket" has another jab at New Jersey, when he says he'd rather be dead and in Hell than "alive and kicking in Jersey anyday".
    • "Death Death (Devil, Devil, Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil Song)" has a shot at George W. Bush.
    • He recently changed the lyrics to "Vampire Club" from targeting whiny, pretentious patrons at goth clubs to making fun of Twilight.
  • The Something Song: "The Happy Song". Also "Love Song", but that's a cover of The Cure.
  • Under the Sea: "To the Bottom of the Sea".
  • Unexpected Genre Change: Ooky Spooky actually had swing music on it similar in style to Cab Calloway (though this seems to have been permanently added to his repertoire now). And then came Hate Lives in a Small Town...a country album.
    • On a similar note, he divulged in an interview a short lived idea for a Star Wars themed Hip-Hop album named "Republic Enemy"
    • He's been debuting his 'country' songs on his current (summer 2010) tour and they don't sound too different from the stripped down arrangements of his normal songs, other than the lyrics not being about Goth culture and Star Trek...
  • Unicorn: Voltaire's unicorn from the cover of "Riding a Black Unicorn" is big, black and badass.
  • Villain Song: "When You're Evil" is one of his most popular songs.
    • Also "Brains".
    • "Death Death (Devil, Devil, Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil Song)"
    • "Almost Human" starts out as one, with Satan spitting out his lined defiantly, until a little way through when it morphs into his Villainous Breakdown.
  • "The Villain Sucks" Song: "Robber Baron" could qualify.
  • What Could Have Been: With his primary language being spanish, it would have been cool that he also sang "Brains" in Spain and Latin America.
  • What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?: In Bomb New Jersey one of the first reasons he lists why that state sucks is "They all wear jeans that are Acid Wash, and yet they think I'm insane!"
  • Zombie Apocalypse: "Brains" with the The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy using the song to boot.
    • Though "Brains" is about a brain-eating alien. Though, he does turn the entire town into mindless zombies within the show.
      • More fitting examples would be "Fear and Anguish", "Zombie Prostitute", and "Reggae Mortis". "Zombie Prostitute" and "Reggae Mortis" both feature zombies, but the only one that can really be described as an apocalypse is "Fear and Anguish".