Lame Comeback: Difference between revisions
m (Mass update links) |
m (Mass update links) |
||
Line 2: | Line 2: | ||
{{quote|'''Scott''': ''This band sucks.''<br /> |
{{quote|'''Scott''': ''This band sucks.''<br /> |
||
'''Monique''': ''That's what they'll be saying about ''you'' on Sunday.''<br /> |
'''Monique''': ''That's what they'll be saying about ''you'' on Sunday.''<br /> |
||
'''Scott''': ''At least I... wait... something... you... insult...''|''[[Scott Pilgrim |
'''Scott''': ''At least I... wait... something... you... insult...''|''[[Scott Pilgrim|Scott Pilgrim vs. The World]]''}} |
||
In a situation where the usual tropes call for a clever rejoinder, sometimes the absence of one can have the same effect (as far as the audience is concerned). |
In a situation where the usual tropes call for a clever rejoinder, sometimes the absence of one can have the same effect (as far as the audience is concerned). |
||
Line 14: | Line 14: | ||
== [[Comic Books]] == |
== [[Comic Books]] == |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Scott Pilgrim]]'' is the king of this trope. |
||
{{quote| '''Scott''' I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me?}} |
{{quote| '''Scott''' I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me?}} |
||
** Later: |
** Later: |
||
Line 38: | Line 38: | ||
== [[Film]] == |
== [[Film]] == |
||
* ''[[Singin in |
* ''[[Singin' in the Rain|Singin in The Rain]]'': "I make more money than... [[Calvin Coolidge]]... put together!" |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[The Big Lebowski]]'' contains an example that, due to the Dude's sheer unflappable laid-backness being combined with Jesus Quintana's over-the-top arrogance, turns this trope into an artform, to the point where [[Memetic Mutation]] has in fact made this an ''actual comeback'' that is successful: |
||
{{quote| '''Jesus''': You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Jesus''': You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.<br /> |
||
'''The Dude''': Yeah, well, you know, that's just like... uh... your opinion man. }} |
'''The Dude''': Yeah, well, you know, that's just like... uh... your opinion man. }} |
||
Line 50: | Line 50: | ||
'''Tommy''': Shut up, Richard. }} |
'''Tommy''': Shut up, Richard. }} |
||
* In ''[[Funny People]]'', George is verbally abusing Ira {{spoiler|after Ira has [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|inadvertently]] destroyed George's admittedly slim chances of getting back together with '[[The One That Got Away]]'}}. Ira -- having put up with all the shit he's willing to take from George by this point -- proceeds to [[What the Hell, Hero?|completely demolish]] the other man and basically pegs him as a pathetic, bitter, self absorbed and self loathing man who even if he had everything he ever wanted still would find some way to fuck it up and be completely miserable because he doesn't even know how to be happy himself, much less inspire it in other people. Faced with this verbal assault, George's comeback -- that Ira isn't funny -- is exactly as pathetic as it sounds. And unfortunately, [[Insult Backfire|Ira has a comeback for that also]]. |
* In ''[[Funny People]]'', George is verbally abusing Ira {{spoiler|after Ira has [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|inadvertently]] destroyed George's admittedly slim chances of getting back together with '[[The One That Got Away]]'}}. Ira -- having put up with all the shit he's willing to take from George by this point -- proceeds to [[What the Hell, Hero?|completely demolish]] the other man and basically pegs him as a pathetic, bitter, self absorbed and self loathing man who even if he had everything he ever wanted still would find some way to fuck it up and be completely miserable because he doesn't even know how to be happy himself, much less inspire it in other people. Faced with this verbal assault, George's comeback -- that Ira isn't funny -- is exactly as pathetic as it sounds. And unfortunately, [[Insult Backfire|Ira has a comeback for that also]]. |
||
* From ''[[ |
* From ''[[Serenity]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Mal''': You want to run this ship?<br /> |
{{quote| '''Mal''': You want to run this ship?<br /> |
||
'''Jayne''': [[Rhetorical Question Blunder|Yes!]]<br /> |
'''Jayne''': [[Rhetorical Question Blunder|Yes!]]<br /> |
||
'''Mal''': Well... you can't! }} |
'''Mal''': Well... you can't! }} |
||
* In ''[[ |
* In ''[[Hook]]'', Robin Williams as a grown-up [[Peter Pan]] when he engages in the verbal duel with Rufio. |
||
** He quickly develops his own successful brand of insults, though. His opponent, Rufio, is eventually reduced to calling him "You stupid... you stupid ''man''!" |
** He quickly develops his own successful brand of insults, though. His opponent, Rufio, is eventually reduced to calling him "You stupid... you stupid ''man''!" |
||
* ''Hercules Returns'' - Urses mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response? |
* ''Hercules Returns'' - Urses mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response? |
||
Line 77: | Line 77: | ||
== [[Live Action TV]] == |
== [[Live Action TV]] == |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Blackadder]]'' did this a couple of times despite usually being very good with a comeback. |
||
{{quote| '''Captain Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Captain Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!<br /> |
||
'''Blackadder''': Better a "lapdog to a slip of a girl" than a... ''git''!<br /> |
'''Blackadder''': Better a "lapdog to a slip of a girl" than a... ''git''!<br /> |
||
'''Captain Rum''': So you ''do'' have some spunk in you! }} |
'''Captain Rum''': So you ''do'' have some spunk in you! }} |
||
** In ''[[ |
** In ''[[Blackadder]] The Third'', George combines this with [[Comeback Tomorrow]], because he can't even think of a ''lame'' comeback on the spur of the moment: |
||
{{quote| '''George''': Only the other day, [[William Pitt the Younger|Prime Minister Pitt]] called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn’t until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"}} |
{{quote| '''George''': Only the other day, [[William Pitt the Younger|Prime Minister Pitt]] called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn’t until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"}} |
||
* From ''[[Friends]]'', when Chandler is in a fight with his girlfriend: |
* From ''[[Friends]]'', when Chandler is in a fight with his girlfriend: |
||
Line 96: | Line 96: | ||
{{quote| '''Donna:''' Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Donna:''' Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.<br /> |
||
'''Eric:''' Yeah well, at least my shame won't... peel. }} |
'''Eric:''' Yeah well, at least my shame won't... peel. }} |
||
* From ''[[Supernatural (TV)|Supernatural]]'' |
* From ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'' |
||
{{quote| '''Ruby''': It's called witchcraft, shortbus.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Ruby''': It's called witchcraft, shortbus.<br /> |
||
'''Dean''': You're the shortbus... shortbus. }} |
'''Dean''': You're the shortbus... shortbus. }} |
||
* ''[[The Larry Sanders Show]]'': Hank is guest-hosting the show and [[Drunk |
* ''[[The Larry Sanders Show]]'': Hank is guest-hosting the show and [[Drunk with Power|letting his ego get out of control]]. Phil, the head writer, isn't impressed. |
||
{{quote| '''Hank''': Hey, hey - you like your job?<br /> |
{{quote| '''Hank''': Hey, hey - you like your job?<br /> |
||
'''Phil''': No.<br /> |
'''Phil''': No.<br /> |
||
'''Hank''':... Well watch it. }} |
'''Hank''':... Well watch it. }} |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Glee]]'': Shannon Beiste. Her comebacks are actually so lame that they leave her rival Sue speechless. |
||
{{quote| '''Beiste''': Do not get up in The Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelette.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Beiste''': Do not get up in The Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelette.<br /> |
||
'''Sue''': [''whispering to herself''] That doesn't make any sense... }} |
'''Sue''': [''whispering to herself''] That doesn't make any sense... }} |
||
Line 124: | Line 124: | ||
'''Tim''': "You will my friend, you will..." }} |
'''Tim''': "You will my friend, you will..." }} |
||
* Lyle's inability to come up with a decent comeback is what drives his romantic interest in a recent episode of ''[[Kingdom]]'' |
* Lyle's inability to come up with a decent comeback is what drives his romantic interest in a recent episode of ''[[Kingdom]]'' |
||
* In ''[[ |
* In ''[[The Big Bang Theory]]'': |
||
{{quote| ''(Sheldon's phone rings)'' '''Leslie:''' Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year.<br /> |
{{quote| ''(Sheldon's phone rings)'' '''Leslie:''' Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year.<br /> |
||
'''Sheldon:''' Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated! }} |
'''Sheldon:''' Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated! }} |
||
Line 130: | Line 130: | ||
{{quote| '''Ronnie''': I'm going to contact the authorities!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Ronnie''': I'm going to contact the authorities!<br /> |
||
'''Micky''': ...You do and I'll be sorry! }} |
'''Micky''': ...You do and I'll be sorry! }} |
||
* Requisite ''[[ |
* Requisite ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' example: |
||
** In "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" Cordelia is giving out chocolates to drum up votes to become May Queen. |
** In "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" Cordelia is giving out chocolates to drum up votes to become May Queen. |
||
{{quote| '''Cordelia:''' Here's a chocolate... ''(realises it's Buffy)'' Oh, I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Cordelia:''' Here's a chocolate... ''(realises it's Buffy)'' Oh, I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote.<br /> |
||
Line 140: | Line 140: | ||
{{quote| '''Spike:''' Back off Betty.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Spike:''' Back off Betty.<br /> |
||
'''Buffy:''' [[My Name Is Not Durwood|It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy. }} |
'''Buffy:''' [[My Name Is Not Durwood|It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy. }} |
||
* The plot of an episode of ''[[ |
* The plot of an episode of ''[[Seinfeld]]'' was George trying to come up with a good comeback to use on a guy who burned him. All he could come up with was "The jerk store called, and it's running out of you." He's so proud of this that he travels to a city he doesn't want to go to, and makes an ass of himself again, just so the guy will insult him again so he can make this comeback. After all that, the guy deflects it in two seconds with "why should they worry when you're their main supply?" |
||
** In the episode, "The Dealership", Elaine criticizes Puddy (her boyfriend) for constantly giving the high-five to people: |
** In the episode, "The Dealership", Elaine criticizes Puddy (her boyfriend) for constantly giving the high-five to people: |
||
{{quote| '''Elaine''': You’re a salesman now - and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Elaine''': You’re a salesman now - and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey.<br /> |
||
Line 155: | Line 155: | ||
'''Bob Fossil''':... Nice comeback.<br /> |
'''Bob Fossil''':... Nice comeback.<br /> |
||
'''Howard''': (''after Fossil leaves'') Uh, yeah well... your uniform is too tight and you look stupid! }} |
'''Howard''': (''after Fossil leaves'') Uh, yeah well... your uniform is too tight and you look stupid! }} |
||
* From ''[[ |
* From ''[[Lost]]'', in one of the instances where Hurley gets tired of Sawyer's nicknames: |
||
{{quote| '''Sawyer''': What's your problem, Jumbotron?<br /> |
{{quote| '''Sawyer''': What's your problem, Jumbotron?<br /> |
||
'''Hurley''': Shut up, red... neck... man.<br /> |
'''Hurley''': Shut up, red... neck... man.<br /> |
||
Line 161: | Line 161: | ||
* In the ''[[Better Off Ted]]'' episode "The Impertence of Communicationizing", Phil laments his lack of ability to insult people: |
* In the ''[[Better Off Ted]]'' episode "The Impertence of Communicationizing", Phil laments his lack of ability to insult people: |
||
{{quote| '''Phil:''' The best comeback I ever came up with was, "You're right, I'll work on that."}} |
{{quote| '''Phil:''' The best comeback I ever came up with was, "You're right, I'll work on that."}} |
||
* [[House (TV)|House]] has a combination of this and [[Comeback Tomorrow]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN2pV8S63rw here]. |
* [[House (TV series)|House]] has a combination of this and [[Comeback Tomorrow]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN2pV8S63rw here]. |
||
* In ''[[ICarly |
* In ''[[ICarly]]'', Freddie isn't very good at comebacks for Sam. |
||
{{quote| '''Sam''': Hit it, Fred-Weiner!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Sam''': Hit it, Fred-Weiner!<br /> |
||
'''Freddie''': Sure thing, Sam... jerk. }} |
'''Freddie''': Sure thing, Sam... jerk. }} |
||
Line 168: | Line 168: | ||
{{quote| '''Echo''': You're so corny.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Echo''': You're so corny.<br /> |
||
'''Paul''': You're...fat! }} |
'''Paul''': You're...fat! }} |
||
* In the ''[[ |
* In the ''[[Scrubs]]'' "My Butterfly": |
||
{{quote| '''Dr. Cox''': Look, newbie, if you go ahead and leave this hospital knowing only one thing -- and God save me, it looks like there's a real chance that might happen -- please let this be that one thing: I'm in charge, and I don't care about your opinion. Now [whistles] go get me a cup of coffee.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Dr. Cox''': Look, newbie, if you go ahead and leave this hospital knowing only one thing -- and God save me, it looks like there's a real chance that might happen -- please let this be that one thing: I'm in charge, and I don't care about your opinion. Now [whistles] go get me a cup of coffee.<br /> |
||
'''J.D.''': [thinking] Whatever. Just avoid the shoulder bump, catch the elevator, and make a great wise-ass remark before the doors close!<br /> |
'''J.D.''': [thinking] Whatever. Just avoid the shoulder bump, catch the elevator, and make a great wise-ass remark before the doors close!<br /> |
||
Line 187: | Line 187: | ||
'''Dr. Cox''': '''HE'S DONE IT! HE'S DONE IT! DORIAN'S THE MOST! ANNOYING! MAN! IN THE WORLD!''' Who would have ever thought? A Journeyman annoyer like Dorian...<br /> |
'''Dr. Cox''': '''HE'S DONE IT! HE'S DONE IT! DORIAN'S THE MOST! ANNOYING! MAN! IN THE WORLD!''' Who would have ever thought? A Journeyman annoyer like Dorian...<br /> |
||
'''J.D.''': ''(As Dr Cox is leaving the room)'' You were a close second. }} |
'''J.D.''': ''(As Dr Cox is leaving the room)'' You were a close second. }} |
||
* In the ''[[ |
* In the ''[[Boy Meets World]]'' episode "Honesty Night", Cory and Topanga [[It Makes Sense in Context|pretend to be mad at each other in front of Shawn]], and when they trade fake insults Cory proves he's not very good at ending them: |
||
{{quote| '''Topanga:''' I can't believe you said that to me, you stunted little whiny brillo-head!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Topanga:''' I can't believe you said that to me, you stunted little whiny brillo-head!<br /> |
||
'''Cory:''' Oh yeah, well you're a short little nasal voiced blimpo lipped... so and so! ''(whispering)'' I need more time. }} |
'''Cory:''' Oh yeah, well you're a short little nasal voiced blimpo lipped... so and so! ''(whispering)'' I need more time. }} |
||
Line 246: | Line 246: | ||
== [[Video Games]] == |
== [[Video Games]] == |
||
* Master Chief in ''[[Halo ( |
* Master Chief in ''[[Halo (series)|Halo]]'' uses these a lot in the [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LTxO_pgMqys Master Chief Sucks At Halo] videos (loadsa swearing): |
||
{{quote| '''Teammate''': You had -3 kills and 41 deaths!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Teammate''': You had -3 kills and 41 deaths!<br /> |
||
'''Master Chief''': [[Your Mom]] had -3 kills in bed last night. }} |
'''Master Chief''': [[Your Mom]] had -3 kills in bed last night. }} |
||
Line 253: | Line 253: | ||
'''Leon:''' Saddler, you're small-time!<br /> |
'''Leon:''' Saddler, you're small-time!<br /> |
||
'''Saddler:''' Oh... hahahahahaha! Writhe in my cage of torment my friend. }} |
'''Saddler:''' Oh... hahahahahaha! Writhe in my cage of torment my friend. }} |
||
* The MMORPG ''[[ |
* The MMORPG ''[[Kingdom of Loathing]]'' includes a mini-game called [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Insult_Beer_Pong Insult Beer Pong], in which you have to respond appropriately to various insults (e.g., if your opponent says "When I'm through with you, you'll be crying like a little girl," you say "It's an honor to learn from such an expert in the field"). But you can't just start with battle; you have to research the insults and comebacks. So you grab ''The Big Book of Pirate Insults'', get into fights with various pirates, insult them at random from the book, and learn various witty comebacks, which are then available for you during the match.<ref>The book insults are different from the beer pong insults, but if you learn every possible comeback, you should be able to come up with one that fits each new insult. For instance, you can learn the aforementioned comeback in combat if you use "I'll teach you the meaning of fear, you gutless coward!"</ref> If a pirate can't think of an insult, he'll stammer out something like "Yeah? Well... so's your face!" - and there are five possible Lame Comebacks for you to use during the match (if you want to lose), including "Stop waving it around like a featherduster!" - an extended reference to [[Monkey Island]]. |
||
* In ''[[ |
* In ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'', the Sniper has a domination quote in reference to the Spy: |
||
{{quote| '''The Spy''': [[Bond One-Liner|I never really was on your side.]]<br /> |
{{quote| '''The Spy''': [[Bond One-Liner|I never really was on your side.]]<br /> |
||
'''The Sniper''': ''I'' was never on ''your'' side either! ... Wanker! }} |
'''The Sniper''': ''I'' was never on ''your'' side either! ... Wanker! }} |
||
* As mentioned above, the "insult swordfighting" in ''[[Monkey Island ( |
* As mentioned above, the "insult swordfighting" in ''[[Monkey Island (series)|Monkey Island]]'' is based not around actual fencing ability, but about being able to [[You Fight Like a Cow|come up with clever comebacks]] to your opponents' insults to gain advantage in the duel. There are a couple of stock lame comebacks - "I am rubber, you are glue" or "Boy are you ugly!" - which don't work on any insult. In later games, "how appropriate - you fight like a cow!" goes from being a legitimate retort to Guybrush's go-to [[Lame Comeback]] whenever somebody insults him. |
||
* In ''[[ |
* In ''[[Portal 2]]'', during the [[Final Boss]] fight, if you let Rick the Adventure Sphere talk long enough, he will eventually ask if you have a "[[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|Cool Line]]" prepared for when you kill {{spoiler|Wheatley}}. After some unsuccessful attempts to think one up himself, he will try to [[Invoked Trope|invoke]] one by asking Chell to get {{spoiler|Wheatley}} to say "You two have been a thorn in my side for long enough!", reminding you to do so as he is plugged in. Once all three cores are plugged in and the final part of the fight starts up, {{spoiler|Wheatley}}'s dialogue will have now changed slightly to include Rick's setup line word-for-word. Rick then delivers his "[[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|Cool Line]]". It's... a little underwhelming. |
||
{{quote| '''Rick''': "Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down. Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head."}} |
{{quote| '''Rick''': "Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down. Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head."}} |
||
* ''[[Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood |
* ''[[Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood|Assassin's Creed Brotherhood]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Desmond''':''(stereotypical Italian accent)'' Ey, what's-a-matter you Altair?<br /> |
{{quote| '''Desmond''':''(stereotypical Italian accent)'' Ey, what's-a-matter you Altair?<br /> |
||
'''Rebecca''': That's racist!<br /> |
'''Rebecca''': That's racist!<br /> |
||
Line 267: | Line 267: | ||
{{quote| '''Rick''': (after hearing Doctor West's [[Motive Rant]]): "Yeah, well... Fuck you."<br /> |
{{quote| '''Rick''': (after hearing Doctor West's [[Motive Rant]]): "Yeah, well... Fuck you."<br /> |
||
'''West''': "[[Precision F-Strike|No, Rick! Fuck you!]]" }} |
'''West''': "[[Precision F-Strike|No, Rick! Fuck you!]]" }} |
||
* During your [[Recurring Boss|final battle with]] [[Smug Snake|Kai Leng]] in ''[[ |
* During your [[Recurring Boss|final battle with]] [[Smug Snake|Kai Leng]] in ''[[Mass Effect 3]]'', he tries taunting Shepard. Shepard throws it right back at him, and his comeback line reeks of lame. |
||
{{quote| '''Leng:''' You're still slow, Shepard!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Leng:''' You're still slow, Shepard!<br /> |
||
'''Shepard:''' [[Dirty Coward|I'm only slow because I'm not running!]] You ran at {{spoiler|the Citadel}}! You ran on {{spoiler|Thessia}}!<br /> |
'''Shepard:''' [[Dirty Coward|I'm only slow because I'm not running!]] You ran at {{spoiler|the Citadel}}! You ran on {{spoiler|Thessia}}!<br /> |
||
Line 273: | Line 273: | ||
== [[Web Comics]] == |
== [[Web Comics]] == |
||
* [http://nonadventures.com/2006/09/15/believe-it-or-nazi/ This strip] from ''[[The Non |
* [http://nonadventures.com/2006/09/15/believe-it-or-nazi/ This strip] from ''[[The Non-Adventures of Wonderella|The Non Adventures of Wonderella]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Hitlerella:''' Oh my, did you just make a sweeping generalization that all Germans have masculine features? What about Heidi Klum? She's German.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Hitlerella:''' Oh my, did you just make a sweeping generalization that all Germans have masculine features? What about Heidi Klum? She's German.<br /> |
||
'''Wonderella:''' So's [[Your Mom]].<br /> |
'''Wonderella:''' So's [[Your Mom]].<br /> |
||
Line 296: | Line 296: | ||
'''Cleo:''' Hee hee. I love when they do the little victory dance.<br /> |
'''Cleo:''' Hee hee. I love when they do the little victory dance.<br /> |
||
'''Ivy:''' I love your face when it's ugly. Which is all the time. }} |
'''Ivy:''' I love your face when it's ugly. Which is all the time. }} |
||
* In ''[[ |
* In ''[[Goblins]]'', Minmax is notoriously bad at witty banter. |
||
{{quote| '''Kin:''' Minmax! [[Ret-Gone|Stop throwing your clothes]] into [[Negative Space Wedgie|the hole]]!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Kin:''' Minmax! [[Ret-Gone|Stop throwing your clothes]] into [[Negative Space Wedgie|the hole]]!<br /> |
||
'''Minmax:''' [[Ret-Gone|I haven't thrown anything into the hole yet!]] You're the one throwing craziness into the hole 'cause you're craz... No, wait, you're... You're throwing... Yourself... No. Wait. You're... Yeah! Yeah! You're throwing yourself into the crazy hole!<br /> |
'''Minmax:''' [[Ret-Gone|I haven't thrown anything into the hole yet!]] You're the one throwing craziness into the hole 'cause you're craz... No, wait, you're... You're throwing... Yourself... No. Wait. You're... Yeah! Yeah! You're throwing yourself into the crazy hole!<br /> |
||
Line 313: | Line 313: | ||
== Web Original == |
== Web Original == |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Red vs. Blue]]'' has a lot of these, despite the fact that the initial insults are hardly clever themselves. |
||
{{quote| '''Simmons''': Suck it, Blue!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Simmons''': Suck it, Blue!<br /> |
||
'''[[The Ditz|Caboose]]''': No, YOU suck it... Blue... }} |
'''[[The Ditz|Caboose]]''': No, YOU suck it... Blue... }} |
||
Line 323: | Line 323: | ||
'''Tucker''': You mean he's dumber than ''you'' are.<br /> |
'''Tucker''': You mean he's dumber than ''you'' are.<br /> |
||
'''Church''': Wow, Tucker. That was a classy comeback. }} |
'''Church''': Wow, Tucker. That was a classy comeback. }} |
||
* From ''[[ |
* From ''[[Homestar Runner]]'': |
||
{{quote| Dear strong bad,<br /> |
{{quote| Dear strong bad,<br /> |
||
Can you please write a book about<br /> |
Can you please write a book about<br /> |
||
Line 332: | Line 332: | ||
== Western Animation == |
== Western Animation == |
||
* From ''[[The Simpsons ( |
* From ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]''; |
||
{{quote| '''Professor''': Marge, it's statements like that that make people think women are stupid.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Professor''': Marge, it's statements like that that make people think women are stupid.<br /> |
||
'''Marge''': Well, it's statements like that that... are mean! }} |
'''Marge''': Well, it's statements like that that... are mean! }} |
||
Line 341: | Line 341: | ||
'''Bob''': Wait a minutes, that's no good. (''Leaves, groaning in frustration. Hurries back a moment later.'') Wait! I've got one now! Marge, say 'Stay away from my son' again!<br /> |
'''Bob''': Wait a minutes, that's no good. (''Leaves, groaning in frustration. Hurries back a moment later.'') Wait! I've got one now! Marge, say 'Stay away from my son' again!<br /> |
||
'''Marge''': No! }} |
'''Marge''': No! }} |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Futurama]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Dwight:''' I heard alcohol makes you stupid.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Dwight:''' I heard alcohol makes you stupid.<br /> |
||
'''Fry:''' No, I'm... doesn't! }} |
'''Fry:''' No, I'm... doesn't! }} |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' engages Sandy in a name-calling contest until all he can come up with is "not-wet person". |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[South Park]]'', episode "Douche and Turd": |
||
{{quote| '''Giant Douche:''' I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Giant Douche:''' I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich.<br /> |
||
'''Turd Sandwich:''' ''You're'' a turd sandwich. }} |
'''Turd Sandwich:''' ''You're'' a turd sandwich. }} |
||
** Also, Towelie |
** Also, Towelie |
||
{{quote| ''You're'' a towel!}} |
{{quote| ''You're'' a towel!}} |
||
* ''[[Justice League ( |
* ''[[Justice League (animation)|JusticeLeagueUnlimited]]'' episode "Flash and Substance": |
||
{{quote| '''Flash''': Mirror Master!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Flash''': Mirror Master!<br /> |
||
'''Mirror Master''': You're quick as ever.<br /> |
'''Mirror Master''': You're quick as ever.<br /> |
||
Line 357: | Line 357: | ||
** He does come up with a better one after the battle: |
** He does come up with a better one after the battle: |
||
{{quote| '''Flash''': While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take some time and reflect on your mistakes! Hey, that was pretty good.}} |
{{quote| '''Flash''': While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take some time and reflect on your mistakes! Hey, that was pretty good.}} |
||
** There was one in the [[Justice League ( |
** There was one in the [[Justice League (animation)|Justice League]] episode "Brave and the Bold" when Gorilla Grodd gets snippy with Flash and he responds with: "Oh yeah? Well, you're... naked! (he shrugs to Solovar behind him because he knew it was lame). The more hilarious part is that the comment was actually pretty funny. |
||
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This] 'Marvel / DC' spoof: |
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This] 'Marvel / DC' spoof: |
||
{{quote| '''Nightwing''': You're nothing but a hack, McGinnis!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Nightwing''': You're nothing but a hack, McGinnis!<br /> |
||
'''[[Batman Beyond |
'''[[Batman Beyond|Terry McGinnis]]''': You got issues, Dick.<br /> |
||
'''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person. }} |
'''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person. }} |
||
* A classic from ''[[Street Fighter]]: The Animated Series'': |
* A classic from ''[[Street Fighter]]: The Animated Series'': |
||
Line 366: | Line 366: | ||
Look at you! You've ignored your training, and have turned against all of your friends!!<br /> |
Look at you! You've ignored your training, and have turned against all of your friends!!<br /> |
||
'''Ken: '''And you! You're a loser!!! }} |
'''Ken: '''And you! You're a loser!!! }} |
||
* ''[[ |
* ''[[Daria]]'': Kevin and Brittany get into one of their weekly arguments; before stalking off, Britney snaps at him, |
||
{{quote| "Don't you fretranize me!"<br /> |
{{quote| "Don't you fretranize me!"<br /> |
||
Kevin: "...You think I don't know what that means? I ''know'' what that means!!" }} |
Kevin: "...You think I don't know what that means? I ''know'' what that means!!" }} |
||
Line 372: | Line 372: | ||
{{quote| '''Barry''': So don't try to do anything stupid.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Barry''': So don't try to do anything stupid.<br /> |
||
'''Archer''': I don't ''have'' to try. [[[Beat]]] Shit. Whatever. ''Move.'' }} |
'''Archer''': I don't ''have'' to try. [[[Beat]]] Shit. Whatever. ''Move.'' }} |
||
* From ''[[Super Mario World ( |
* From ''[[Super Mario World (animation)|Super Mario World]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Magikoopa''': Hey, watch where you're goin', ya egghead!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Magikoopa''': Hey, watch where you're goin', ya egghead!<br /> |
||
'''Luigi''': Who's an egghead, ''eggface!?''<br /> |
'''Luigi''': Who's an egghead, ''eggface!?''<br /> |
||
Line 379: | Line 379: | ||
{{quote| '''Abe Lincoln:''' Who dares disturbs my slumber?!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Abe Lincoln:''' Who dares disturbs my slumber?!<br /> |
||
'''George Bush:''' Who dares question my... daring of his..dare... Jerk! }} |
'''George Bush:''' Who dares question my... daring of his..dare... Jerk! }} |
||
* From an episode of ''[[ |
* From an episode of ''[[Celebrity Deathmatch]]'': |
||
{{quote| '''Matt Damon:''' Hey, Ben, Armageddon ready to kick your ass!<br /> |
{{quote| '''Matt Damon:''' Hey, Ben, Armageddon ready to kick your ass!<br /> |
||
'''Ben Affleck:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not gonna save your privates, Ryan!<br /> |
'''Ben Affleck:''' Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not gonna save your privates, Ryan!<br /> |
||
'''Matt Damon:''' You really are dumb, bro. }} |
'''Matt Damon:''' You really are dumb, bro. }} |
||
* From ''[[Dan Vs]]'' "Canada": |
* From ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' "Canada": |
||
{{quote| '''Chris''': Good luck getting home.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Chris''': Good luck getting home.<br /> |
||
'''Dan''': Good luck being ''stupid''.<br /> |
'''Dan''': Good luck being ''stupid''.<br /> |
||
Line 391: | Line 391: | ||
'''[[The Tick]]:''' *I* am that jerk; who wants to know? }} |
'''[[The Tick]]:''' *I* am that jerk; who wants to know? }} |
||
* ''[[Invader Zim]]'' is not very good at comebacks: "[[Funny Moments|GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR GIANT HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!]]" |
* ''[[Invader Zim]]'' is not very good at comebacks: "[[Funny Moments|GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR GIANT HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!]]" |
||
* On ''[[ |
* On ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'', after the Mooninites acquire the [[The Power of Rock|Foreigner Belt]]: |
||
{{quote| '''Meatwad:''' Your belt is stupid.<br /> |
{{quote| '''Meatwad:''' Your belt is stupid.<br /> |
||
'''Err:''' Oh yeah, well your face is stupid!<br /> |
'''Err:''' Oh yeah, well your face is stupid!<br /> |
Revision as of 18:23, 8 April 2014
Scott: This band sucks. |
In a situation where the usual tropes call for a clever rejoinder, sometimes the absence of one can have the same effect (as far as the audience is concerned).
Related to Comeback Tomorrow, except here there is no comeback.
Also see Dissimile, Metaphorgotten and Buffy-Speak for different kinds of subverted verbal setups. See Your Mom, Big Stupid Doodoo Head and No, You for straighter examples.
Truth in Television, you know who you are.
Comic Books
- Scott Pilgrim is the king of this trope.
Scott I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me? |
- Later:
Scott: This band sucks. |
- Even later:
Scott: Shut up, you... guy... |
- This also happens to some of the Evil Exes, like Matthew Patel in the first volume...
Scott: C'mon, man, dish! Got any embarassing stories? |
- ...and Todd Ingram in the third volume:
Scott: I don't like you. |
Film
- Singin in The Rain: "I make more money than... Calvin Coolidge... put together!"
- The Big Lebowski contains an example that, due to the Dude's sheer unflappable laid-backness being combined with Jesus Quintana's over-the-top arrogance, turns this trope into an artform, to the point where Memetic Mutation has in fact made this an actual comeback that is successful:
Jesus: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. |
- In Tommy Boy, after Tommy sets a bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they pour into an open slot:
Richard Hayden: Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value. |
- In Funny People, George is verbally abusing Ira after Ira has inadvertently destroyed George's admittedly slim chances of getting back together with 'The One That Got Away'. Ira -- having put up with all the shit he's willing to take from George by this point -- proceeds to completely demolish the other man and basically pegs him as a pathetic, bitter, self absorbed and self loathing man who even if he had everything he ever wanted still would find some way to fuck it up and be completely miserable because he doesn't even know how to be happy himself, much less inspire it in other people. Faced with this verbal assault, George's comeback -- that Ira isn't funny -- is exactly as pathetic as it sounds. And unfortunately, Ira has a comeback for that also.
- From Serenity:
Mal: You want to run this ship? |
- In Hook, Robin Williams as a grown-up Peter Pan when he engages in the verbal duel with Rufio.
- He quickly develops his own successful brand of insults, though. His opponent, Rufio, is eventually reduced to calling him "You stupid... you stupid man!"
- Hercules Returns - Urses mocks Samson, trying to provoke him into a fight to see whether or not he's faking the loss of his strength. Samson's response?
Samson, pitifully: I'm really angry now. You know what you are? You're a big poop. |
- Brick Tamland, from Anchorman, has a few of these.
Brick: Where'd you get your clothes...the...toilet store? |
- Napoleon Dynamite has tons of this.
Kip: Your mom goes to college! |
- And the original statement wasn't even directed at him. Or even an insult.
- In Shallow Hal, after Jason Alexander brags that he is "bigger", Hal takes about 8 seconds to respond "Yeah, bigger than a mouse's". Jason calls him out on taking too long; that's why it's called a "quip", not a "slowp".
- In Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, towards the end, when Harold confronts his two co-workers.
Harold: Shut up, cock-boy. |
- Manta, Manta from Germany. The main character who drives an Opel Manta and becomes the Butt Monkey of a radio moderator who tells Manta jokes all the time. Finally, he gets revenge when he breaks in at the radio station and has the opportunity to say his opinion on the radio.
Bertie: "What's the difference between a guy telling Manta jokes and an asshole? There is none!" |
Literature
- In American Psycho, when somebody calls the protagonist a "fucking yuppie", he responds: "Hey... You may think I'm a really disgusting yuppie but I'm not, really."
- Kate's banter tends to be hit-and-miss. When she's on her game, she's pretty witty. When she's off-balance, her inner monologue and the people around her are perfectly willing to point out how embarrassed she should be.
Live Action TV
- Blackadder did this a couple of times despite usually being very good with a comeback.
Captain Rum: Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl! |
- In Blackadder The Third, George combines this with Comeback Tomorrow, because he can't even think of a lame comeback on the spur of the moment:
George: Only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn’t until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!" |
- From Friends, when Chandler is in a fight with his girlfriend:
Girl: I'm leaving. Call me when you decide to grow up! |
- Chandler, despite being known for his sense of humor, has a lot of these:
Joey: (while playing football) Prepare to feel very bad about yourself. |
- In the That 70s Show episode "Eric's Depression" Eric and Donna have a shouting match (it was shortly after their breakup) in which Donna calls Eric a dillhole. Eric's response is to call her a "double dillhole". As soon as Donna leaves he berates himself for saying something that stupid.
- In the episode "Eric's Hot Cousin":
Jackie: Lobster face! |
- In the same episode:
Donna: Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever. |
- From Supernatural
Ruby: It's called witchcraft, shortbus. |
- The Larry Sanders Show: Hank is guest-hosting the show and letting his ego get out of control. Phil, the head writer, isn't impressed.
Hank: Hey, hey - you like your job? |
- Glee: Shannon Beiste. Her comebacks are actually so lame that they leave her rival Sue speechless.
Beiste: Do not get up in The Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelette. |
- The West Wing has this a couple times, one when Sam meets Mallory after she dumped him following his whole 'being-photographed-with-a-callgirl' scandal:
Sam: Can I just say I was the one who was in trouble? I was the one under siege, it was my picture in the paper and I don't know why I need to call you and explain myself. |
- Also on The West Wing:
Josh: Let's do this: find out what her problem is, solve it and then, I don't know, do something else. |
- Spaced, when Tim and Daisy are arguing about Tim's desire to get back with his unfaithful, selfish and manipulative ex-girlfriend, who has made overtures to him:
Tim: This is something that I've always wanted! You have things you want - you're always going on about going to Asia and seeing the Taj Mahal. |
- Tim makes another lame comeback after claiming Daisy's dog, Colin, will eventually grow up to savage the man repairing the tumble dryer:
Daisy: "We don't have a tumble dryer..." |
- Lyle's inability to come up with a decent comeback is what drives his romantic interest in a recent episode of Kingdom
- In The Big Bang Theory:
(Sheldon's phone rings) Leslie: Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year. |
- The Monkees: Famous line by Micky (who often mixes up his words).
Ronnie: I'm going to contact the authorities! |
- Requisite Buffy the Vampire Slayer example:
- In "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" Cordelia is giving out chocolates to drum up votes to become May Queen.
Cordelia: Here's a chocolate... (realises it's Buffy) Oh, I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote. |
- And this one...
Buffy: Let's be realistic Willow, your basic spells are usually only about 50/50. |
- In "Superstar" reality is changed so Buffy is overshadowed by another superhero, affecting her confidence and therefore Deadpan Snarker skills.
Spike: Back off Betty. |
- The plot of an episode of Seinfeld was George trying to come up with a good comeback to use on a guy who burned him. All he could come up with was "The jerk store called, and it's running out of you." He's so proud of this that he travels to a city he doesn't want to go to, and makes an ass of himself again, just so the guy will insult him again so he can make this comeback. After all that, the guy deflects it in two seconds with "why should they worry when you're their main supply?"
- In the episode, "The Dealership", Elaine criticizes Puddy (her boyfriend) for constantly giving the high-five to people:
Elaine: You’re a salesman now - and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey. |
- From The Mighty Boosh:
Bob Fossil: Hey Moon. What are you supposed to be, Zorro on gay night? |
- From Lost, in one of the instances where Hurley gets tired of Sawyer's nicknames:
Sawyer: What's your problem, Jumbotron? |
- In the Better Off Ted episode "The Impertence of Communicationizing", Phil laments his lack of ability to insult people:
Phil: The best comeback I ever came up with was, "You're right, I'll work on that." |
- House has a combination of this and Comeback Tomorrow here.
- In ICarly, Freddie isn't very good at comebacks for Sam.
Sam: Hit it, Fred-Weiner! |
- In the finale of Dollhouse:
Echo: You're so corny. |
- In the Scrubs "My Butterfly":
Dr. Cox: Look, newbie, if you go ahead and leave this hospital knowing only one thing -- and God save me, it looks like there's a real chance that might happen -- please let this be that one thing: I'm in charge, and I don't care about your opinion. Now [whistles] go get me a cup of coffee. |
- In the episode "His Story IV":
J.D.: I know all about the war. |
- J.D. also claimed at one point to have a comeback for every situation. Unfortunately, this comeback was always "so's your face".
- Occurs twice in the same conversation here.
Dr. Cox: Did you feel that you weren't quite annoying enough without adding a delusional sense of grandeur? Because, I promise you, you are annoying enough. In fact, you're the number one contender for the middleweight annoyance crown! |
- In the Boy Meets World episode "Honesty Night", Cory and Topanga pretend to be mad at each other in front of Shawn, and when they trade fake insults Cory proves he's not very good at ending them:
Topanga: I can't believe you said that to me, you stunted little whiny brillo-head! |
Opera
- An embarrassing scene in the opera Le Grand Macabre, by Gyorgy Ligeti, has the White and Black Ministers calling names at each other -- in alphabetical order. It starts out strong with "Ass-kisser" and "Bloodsucker", until:
Professional Wrestling
- Dave Batista became infamous for saying to CM Punk, "Yeah, well...you're a punk!"
- SPEAKING of Batista, there was that hilarious time where Batista was to face The Great Khali for the world championship, and Khali was demonstrating his strength by crushing a basketball in his hands. Batista's response was, "Basketballs... don't hold grudges! Basketballs don't wanna knock your teeth down your throat! And you're not gonna be in the ring with a basketball Summerslam for the World Heavyweight Championship!"
- Kurt Angle in the WWE, when he was still on his square American Hero persona.
Radio
- In Hello Cheeky, John Junkin gets one of these to Barry Cryer.
John: Here, Barry, I'll tell you something interesting. |
Theater
- Keating: The Musical has an epic one during Paul Keating and John Hewson's debate on the GST (Keating's insults are based on actual comments in parliament:
Keating: Oh, no, they sent the Doctor to get us, |
- Shakespeare manages to make this one heartbreaking in King Lear:
I will have such revenges on you both, |
Video Games
- Master Chief in Halo uses these a lot in the Master Chief Sucks At Halo videos (loadsa swearing):
Teammate: You had -3 kills and 41 deaths! |
- Leon Scott Kennedy in Resident Evil. One could pity Big Bad Saddler for being Affably Evil and having to laugh at those...
Saddler: Perhaps you are disillusioned with overconfidence just because you killed my small-time subordinate? |
- The MMORPG Kingdom of Loathing includes a mini-game called Insult Beer Pong, in which you have to respond appropriately to various insults (e.g., if your opponent says "When I'm through with you, you'll be crying like a little girl," you say "It's an honor to learn from such an expert in the field"). But you can't just start with battle; you have to research the insults and comebacks. So you grab The Big Book of Pirate Insults, get into fights with various pirates, insult them at random from the book, and learn various witty comebacks, which are then available for you during the match.[3] If a pirate can't think of an insult, he'll stammer out something like "Yeah? Well... so's your face!" - and there are five possible Lame Comebacks for you to use during the match (if you want to lose), including "Stop waving it around like a featherduster!" - an extended reference to Monkey Island.
- In Team Fortress 2, the Sniper has a domination quote in reference to the Spy:
The Spy: I never really was on your side. |
- As mentioned above, the "insult swordfighting" in Monkey Island is based not around actual fencing ability, but about being able to come up with clever comebacks to your opponents' insults to gain advantage in the duel. There are a couple of stock lame comebacks - "I am rubber, you are glue" or "Boy are you ugly!" - which don't work on any insult. In later games, "how appropriate - you fight like a cow!" goes from being a legitimate retort to Guybrush's go-to Lame Comeback whenever somebody insults him.
- In Portal 2, during the Final Boss fight, if you let Rick the Adventure Sphere talk long enough, he will eventually ask if you have a "Cool Line" prepared for when you kill Wheatley. After some unsuccessful attempts to think one up himself, he will try to invoke one by asking Chell to get Wheatley to say "You two have been a thorn in my side for long enough!", reminding you to do so as he is plugged in. Once all three cores are plugged in and the final part of the fight starts up, Wheatley's dialogue will have now changed slightly to include Rick's setup line word-for-word. Rick then delivers his "Cool Line". It's... a little underwhelming.
Rick: "Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down. Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head." |
Desmond:(stereotypical Italian accent) Ey, what's-a-matter you Altair? |
- In the remake of Splatterhouse (made worse by the fact that the villain had something like 200 years to think carefully to an appropriate comeback:
Rick: (after hearing Doctor West's Motive Rant): "Yeah, well... Fuck you." |
- During your final battle with Kai Leng in Mass Effect 3, he tries taunting Shepard. Shepard throws it right back at him, and his comeback line reeks of lame.
Leng: You're still slow, Shepard! |
Web Comics
Hitlerella: Oh my, did you just make a sweeping generalization that all Germans have masculine features? What about Heidi Klum? She's German. |
- The Villain Protagonists of Eight Bit Theater (Black Mage in particular) are quite prone to this, such as in this installment:
Black Mage: What did you THINK I meant every time I said I was going to burn the world? |
- An amusingly awkward attempted comeback by Marigold in Questionable Content:
Angus: Does that mean you're gonna wash [your hair] more than twice a year now? |
Rice Boy: You aren't very helpful, Bor. |
- In DMFA, Aliph Soulstealer (a.k.a. Dark Pegasus) goes on a rant that starts here, continues here, and ends here with the following exchange:
Aliph: IT WOULD PAIN ME GREATLY TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE KILLED BY A RECKLESS ADVENTURER'S BLOODLUST FOR REVENGE... FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE THAT YOUR IMMATURE DECISION DOESN'T RESULT IN YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER'S DEATH. |
Cleo: I'm gonna warn you, my character has crazy good range. |
- In Goblins, Minmax is notoriously bad at witty banter.
Kin: Minmax! Stop throwing your clothes into the hole! |
- The Order of the Stick, "A Minor Glitch": Belkar berates Vaarsuvius for saving his life and thus ruining his Thanatos Gambit, pointing out that Durkon could have just cast Raise Dead on him immediately afterward. After Vaarsuvius points out a minor flaw in the plan, Belkar utterly fails to come up with a comeback.
Vaarsuvius: And how would your cunning master plan have accounted for the fact that Durkon would have required 5000 gp worth of diamonds as a material component to power the Raise Dead spell? |
- Brooke "Aphrodite" Lennox Rival Angels is a ditz. The following exchange is just one of many, many examples:
Monica: Maybe that'll shut you up, idiot! |
Web Original
- Red vs. Blue has a lot of these, despite the fact that the initial insults are hardly clever themselves.
Simmons: Suck it, Blue! |
- From Reconstruction:
Washington: You guys are the most immature soldiers I've ever met! |
- And Lampshaded once or twice:
Church: Wow, that guy's dumber than you are. |
- From Homestar Runner:
Dear strong bad, |
Western Animation
- From The Simpsons;
Professor: Marge, it's statements like that that make people think women are stupid. |
- A better one comes from Sideshow Bob:
Marge: You awful man! Stay away from my son! |
Dwight: I heard alcohol makes you stupid. |
- SpongeBob SquarePants engages Sandy in a name-calling contest until all he can come up with is "not-wet person".
- South Park, episode "Douche and Turd":
Giant Douche: I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich. |
- Also, Towelie
You're a towel! |
- JusticeLeagueUnlimited episode "Flash and Substance":
Flash: Mirror Master! |
- He does come up with a better one after the battle:
Flash: While you're waiting for me to come arrest you, why not take some time and reflect on your mistakes! Hey, that was pretty good. |
- There was one in the Justice League episode "Brave and the Bold" when Gorilla Grodd gets snippy with Flash and he responds with: "Oh yeah? Well, you're... naked! (he shrugs to Solovar behind him because he knew it was lame). The more hilarious part is that the comment was actually pretty funny.
- This 'Marvel / DC' spoof:
Nightwing: You're nothing but a hack, McGinnis! |
- A classic from Street Fighter: The Animated Series:
Fei Long: You've got sloppy and weak, you've never had fallen from this move before! |
- Daria: Kevin and Brittany get into one of their weekly arguments; before stalking off, Britney snaps at him,
"Don't you fretranize me!" |
- Pretty much everyone on Archer, running as it does on Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic and parodies of the Bond One-Liner.
Barry: So don't try to do anything stupid. |
- From Super Mario World:
Magikoopa: Hey, watch where you're goin', ya egghead! |
- From Robot Chicken:
Abe Lincoln: Who dares disturbs my slumber?! |
- From an episode of Celebrity Deathmatch:
Matt Damon: Hey, Ben, Armageddon ready to kick your ass! |
- From Dan Vs. "Canada":
Chris: Good luck getting home. |
Barry: Where's the jerk who calls himself 'The Tick'?! |
- Invader Zim is not very good at comebacks: "GO HOME AND SHAVE YOUR GIANT HEAD OF SMELL WITH YOUR BAD SELF!"
- On Aqua Teen Hunger Force, after the Mooninites acquire the Foreigner Belt:
Meatwad: Your belt is stupid. |
- ↑ Troper note: how about Idiot?
- ↑ Further troper note: Judas? Jerk? Jackass?
- ↑ The book insults are different from the beer pong insults, but if you learn every possible comeback, you should be able to come up with one that fits each new insult. For instance, you can learn the aforementioned comeback in combat if you use "I'll teach you the meaning of fear, you gutless coward!"