Spoony's Campaign

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

What do you get when you get a bunch of guys from That Guy With The Glasses to play Dungeons & Dragons with Spoony as the Dungeon Master? Pure undiluted awesome. The sessions were generally held every Sunday night and could be watched live on Lord Kat's Web site. The old sessions can be watched on the site as well. This is the link, with the listing from Newest to Oldest (meaning the earliest recording is on page 3).

The Dramatis Personae:

  • Spoony as the Dungeon Master
  • Lord Kat as Grae a Human Ranger
  • Angry Joe as Lord Commander Vane II, a Tiefling Swordmage
  • Y Ruler of Time as Viktor, a Human Fighter (re-speced to Barbarian in December 2010)
  • Skitch as Garrett, a Half-Elf Bard
  • Sean Fausz as Darstine, a Dragonborn Rogue
  • Rollo T as Juliet, a Human Druid multiclassed into Shaman (re-speced into the Essentials Druid in December 2010)
  • Iron Liz as Lilea, an Elven Cleric
  • Linkara as Bayban, a Human Paladin
  • Paw Dugan as Andraste, an Eladrin Cleric (former party member)

Unfortunately, based on Rollo T's blog, it seems that real life, and, sadly moreso, drama and personality clashes behind the scenes have killed the campaign. More's the pity. However, many of the players from this campaign continue to play together in the Wyrmwick Campaign. Iron Liz, Spoony and others from TGWTG and Lord Kat's stream also have started another campaign. Recent sessions of that campaign can be found on Iron Liz's blog.


Tropes used in Spoony's Campaign include:
  • An Axe to Grind: Viktor and Bayban both use axes.
  • Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny!: The game is played on Sundays, so on occasion the guys can get distracted by football. It probably doesn't help matters that most of them are part of a Fantasy Football league.
    • With the end of the 2010 football season, LordKat has pitched the idea of moving the game to Wednesday (which was previously reserved for TGWTG's football podcast Turducken is Tasty), which means things may get back on track.
  • Author Catchphrase: Spoony is fond of having the monsters refer to the players as "pink meat".
  • Badass Boast: Delivered by Bayban when a drunk spat on him and started badmouthing the gods, blaming them for the monsters:

Bayban: Excuse me sir, but if you think the monsters are coming, then you clearly are too drunk to see anything clearly, because the monster's right in front of you! So I suggest. You. RUN!

  • Berserk Button: Don't make fun of Lord Vane's father.
    • Spoony has several, including the recent Burger King jingle ("New breakfast, new breakfast"), Soulja Boy's "Anime" (which basically the entire group hates, though they will bring it up to mess with each other), or people in the chat acting like idiots and/or spouting off memes like The Game. This also ties into his Papa Bear attitude, as seen when he kicks people for making rude or insulting comments about Iron Liz because they don't like her punning.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Juliet, the hippy nature girl, threatening to torture a captured assassin to death if he doesn't tell them what they want to know. Even Victor was somewhat disturbed.
    • Juliet also has a moment where she yells at the other party members for being selfish for not burying the dead and that if they want to continue without performing a proper burial, they will go on without her.
    • Also to note, Garrett, having the highest diplomacy, and a power called "Words of Friendship", disemboweled a guard quite violently. Admittedly, that was under the control of the Scorpion Queen, but still... Disembowelment...
  • Big Bad: Several, so far. The Scorpion Queen, The Witch Queen, and Morgana. They don't get along well.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Bursting into King Donovan's castle in order to save him and overthrow Talbot while being wanted would definitely qualify.
    • This was the plan for Linkara's Character.
  • Big No: Done by Lord Vane when he learned that his father has little chance of being resurrected.
  • Black Comedy Rape: The chatroom starts making rape jokes with disturbing rapidity and frequency.
  • Bloody Hilarious: Angry Joe is endlessly pleased by graphic and epic death descriptions.
  • Can't Hold Her Liquor: Subverted with Juliet who stayed conscious after drinking liquor strong enough to knock out most men.
    • Played straight with Viktor and Bayban
  • Catch Phrase: Juliet started off with "Kra-KAW!" which eventually evolved into "GAGOOSH!"
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Alice, the apprentice to Amon-Dred, whom the party met when they traveled back in time. She's apparently had visions of Garret, and when he first sees her he undergoes a minor Freak-Out. The most prevalent Epileptic Tree is that she's connected to the Scorpion Queen, or is the past version of the Queen herself, since Garret saw her with a "demonic, scaly visage" as Spoony put it.
  • Character Development: The death of Lord Vane I could seem harsh, but in a way it was a good thing, since Joe's early play style was very brash and self-centered, bordering on Jerkass (and Joe himself is definitely (mostly) not a Jerkass). Vane dying because of this attitude showed how poorly it worked, so Vane II is still somewhat bull-headed, but much more intelligent and considerate towards the rest of the group.
  • Choice of Two Weapons: Grae switches between a bow and axe (or axes) as needed.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: When trying to get information out of the Kenku assassin, the group suggests having Garret torture him by singing Soulja Boy's "Anime" (see Berserk Button, above).
  • Cross Player: Rollo T as Juliet (done well), Sean as Darstine (done badly)
  • Dangerous Forbidden Technique: Any spell from the Word of Morgana.
  • Dead Baby Comedy: Elven Anne Frank.
    • She failed her stealth check!
    • Don't forget the Chris Benoit jokes before one of their games that had Y: Ruler of Time in tears from laughing.
  • Destination Defenestration/Disney Villain Death: Lord Talbot.
    • Subverted when Talbot makes a saving roll and instead hangs off the edge of the building. Double subverted when he is attacked and knocked backward enough to finally fall.
  • Death Trap: Bayban and Garret got bloodied by exploding crystal pillars
  • Damsel in Distress: King Donovan's daughter, in more ways than one.
  • Door to Before: In the Black Library
  • Dropped a Bridget On Him: Inverted. For a while, Angry Joe didn't realize Darstine was female. He then started to ask about Darstine's dragon-breasts.
  • Enemy Within: The Scorpion Queen, to Garret.
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Alice.
  • Evil Chancellor: Talbot.
  • Expy: In the 2/20 session, the guys run into a Halfling Honest John who talks about cutting his own throat for money...
  • Failed a Spot Check: In the 7/12 session, Juliet asked where to find the Library of Logwyn...while standing inside it. Later on, Grae asked how to leave the town, only to be told there was pretty much just one road out, and they were standing on it; he hung his head in shame. (Both instances occurred because RolloT and LordKaT didn't hear Spoony saying the relevant information.)
  • Fail O'Suckyname: Juliet's daily power: Fairy Fire. For a while, she was trying to get people to call it "Super Awesome Blood Death Murder Fire," but she now seems to have given up on that.
    • When Angry Joe first joined the campaign, he had difficulty deciding his character's name. It went from Jonah to Youst Kempfer to Matrix, until it was changed to Lord Youst Matrix Vane Kempfer. Joe instead chose Lord Vane.
    • Skitch names this trope in response to Vane's warhorse, Lord Mane.
  • Fantastic Racism: Grae and Elves. Woo boy, Grae and Elves.
    • Also, Halflings.
  • Faux Yay: Garret and Grae's response to being hit on by the king's jailbait daughter.
  • Five-Man Band
  • Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Done to Garrett after he panics from seeing the dark void in the ruined tower.
  • Glad I Thought of It: Princess Elena's fawning over Garret after the group defeats Lord Talbot dips into this territory.

Viktor: What about me? I push him out window!
Spoony (as Elena): And then Garret told the big Russian man to push him out the window!
Viktor: What?! Aww...

  • Guest Star Party Member: Andraste, essentially.
  • Guile Hero: Garret convincing Tamier to not only leave them all live, but also delay the attack on Sarmanath and let them go to search for the Orb of Galendread unattended.
  • Honor Before Reason: Tamier tells the party that Morgana offered mercy if he sided with her against the Witch Queen, but he refused. It ended up costing him his life.
  • House Rules: Spoony has one of these where player's don't go up to 0 before healing from negative HP.
  • Infant Immortality: Averted. Dead Baby Comedy ensues when Grae assumes that this is the case upon finding a massacre, and telling Juliet to go comfort the children. Upon being told that the only survivors were in their forties, he responds that "well, they can just suck it up then."
  • It Got Worse: The 12/19 session. Morgana has taken full control of Darstine, stolen the Well of Souls, and is going after the Witch Queen, leaving a massive path of destruction in her wake.
  • Jerkass: Lord Vane stomping through Morwaytha's turnip patch.
  • Kick the Dog: According to a couple of offhand-remarks made on Lordkat's stream, Grae hates elves so much because they killed his dog "Pongo". And then raped it. And then set it on fire. It is entirely possible that this is actually his canonical backstory.
  • Killed Off for Real: In this setting, the gods are either dead or vanished, so The Magic Goes Away is somewhat in effect; in particular, resurrection spells are treated as rare and mythical. Too bad for Lord Vane Senior...
  • Kill It with Fire: Attempted during the Throne Room fight, using a burning mattress; it did not work out quite as well as the party had hoped.
  • Kill It with Ice: Two of Bayban's abilities invoke this trope.
  • Kill Steal: Spawned its very own Memetic Mutation..
  • Kleptomaniac Hero: After engaging in a chess themed puzzle involving shaking the hand of a king piece, our heroes start contemplating to steal the sword and crown of the king. They successfuly stole a +1 Luck Blade as well as the crown.
  • Lightning Can Do Anything: When faced with a door, their greatest challenge yet, Angry Joe comes up with an ingenious solution: Hit the door with lightning. It didn't work.
  • Load-Bearing Boss: Morgana lich
  • Missing Episode: Lord Kat did not record the first few sessions, so they are lost to people coming into the campaign late.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Happens to Lord Vane II once
  • Mook Promotion: Subverted with Bob the Minion.
  • Mundane Utility: Averted when the group absolutely refused to let Joe use his Daily Power on a particularly stubborn door. Played straight when Juliet used her Grasping Tide power to put out a burning farmstead.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Grae seems fond of advising that the party "just kill everyone [they] meet" (but especially Elves and Halflings).
  • Mythology Gag: "Fuck you and your clown shoes religion," which is a reference to a campaign LordKat DM'd which included a cleric affectionally named Brother Walken, so named because LordKaT's New York accent was exaggerated while voicing the character.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Galendread, Morgana
  • Naughty Tentacles: In a more recent encounter, the party had encountered a group of tentacled Eldritch Abomination -esque monsters, one of which attempted to attack Juliet, cue everyone's thoughts of rape. Fortunately, it botched and raped itself.
  • Never Found the Body: Double subverted with Lord Talbot. They did find the body, and in fact had it in Sarmanath's morgue...but then somebody stole it during the night.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The party travels across the world, outsmarts an army, and defeats a great demon only to wind up enabling Morgana to snatch the artifact of soul stealing power that they were questing for while they were distracted. Now the reborn demi-lich has taken control of one of their party members, her powerful book of spells, and an artifact that can devastate armies. Whoops.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Tamier is so blindly fixated on getting the Word of Morgana to the Witch Queen that he screws himself over in a big way. Not only does he delay the attack on Sarmanath, not only does he release the captive heroes to let them look for an cure for Garret and Darstine's respective curses, but he insists on taking his entire army with the party, a journey through scorching hot plains that destroys a sizable chunk of his force as the soldiers die from exhaustion and heatstroke and the Warforged bog down in the arid land. And then after all that, he let the party go into a castle to find the cure with no fixed time table for their return. Almost makes you wish you could be there when he tells the Witch Queen the "good" news...
    • Unfortunately, that last wish will never come to pass: Tamier was killed by Morgana-in-Darstine in the 12/19 session.
  • The Nicknamer: Grae.
  • Not Himself: Garrett when he is supposedly possessed by the Scorpion Queen.
  • Oh Crap:

Natiri: Don't you understand? That book is Morgana! She has bound her soul within its pages! That book is her phylactery!
Garrett: I under--
(pause)
Grae: (nonplussed) Ah.
Juliet: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!

  • Overused Running Gag: RolloT's references to Lost, especially because everyone else in the group hated (or is indifferent towards) the show.
  • Pungeon Master: Lilea.
    • Oh Jesus yes.
  • Put on a Bus: Andraste, the group's cleric, after his player (Paw) dropped out of the game.
    • Unfortunately, this looks to be happening more, with Angry Joe now being too busy to play due to running the new That Guy offshoot Blistered Thumbs, Sean having dropped out for his own reasons, and perhaps most tragically with Rollo T, who has decided to leave due to falling victim to unseen drama and troubles. Le sigh.
  • Regent for Life: Attempted by Talbot.
  • Retcon: How Vane II joined the party. Spoony's acknowledgement of this serves as the quote on the main article.
  • Running Gag: Several. The most notable is the aforementioned "WE WERE FIGHTING LIKE MEN!!!"
    • This one actually has two variants. One is the standard version, while the other is the chat saying "We were fighting like X!" whenever Joe attacks something (like "We were fighting like amulets!" when Vane smashes Morgana's phylactery).
    • "Are we on fire?"
    • The party's inability to handle natural obstacles, particularly doors.
    • The first running gag of the campaign has to do with onion rings and botches. It's a little odd[1].
    • Grae setting bedrolls on fire.
    • The Ring of Ram is one gleefully perpetuated by the live chatroom; whenever a situation comes up, no matter what it is, there will invariably be a dozen-odd cries of "RAM IT!" Of course, now the group is trying to crack down on this one considering it gets spammed
    • Bayban the (Insert title here)
    • "He's not happy."
  • Schedule Slip: Given that the group consists of nine people who live all across the US and have very busy lives (holding down jobs and contributing regularly to TGWTG), it's perfectly understandable - but still sad.
  • Serious Business: Before the 11/28 session, someone in the chat said Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy sucked and everyone, player and chat member, started calling for blood.
  • Shout-Out: Sometimes Viktor seems to channel Heavy Weapons Guy.
    • RolloT constantly brings up Lost, having a field day when they fought The Smoke Monsters/Clones.
    • Rollo has also compared the party to Dethklok, since they do epic stuff in battle but get flummoxed by mundane things like doors and rivers. Taken a step further with the campaign being nicknamed "Dethklok" (the actual name is simply "The Morgana Campaign").
    • The Vane family has a badger companion named Trogdor.
    • And Juliet has Pidgeotto.
    • The basic plot of the game is effectively identical to The Dresden Files novel Dead Beat: The Big Bad is an evil magic-user who wants to become a god, and in order to achieve this goal is seeking out a powerful grimore written by a legendary necromancer. The Tome of Eldritch Lore in both stories even share a name, the only difference being the author's name ("The Word of Morgana/Kemmler"). Other than that, though, Spoony's story really has nothing in common with Jim Butcher's.
    • Juliet's bear companion is called Pascoe after current New York Giants fullback Bear Pascoe.
  • Shut UP, Hannibal: The party didn't even give Talbot the chance to say anything when they confronted him; they just threw his ass out the window.
  • A Simple Plan: Vane's plan to steal gold from a drug dealer, which ended with Juliet passed out drunk in a tavern, Viktor getting pickpocketed, and the rest of the party ambushed by halflings.
  • Smug Snake: Talbot.
    • Lord Esgalion was kind of a sly one as well. His former squire Tamier seems to shaping up into this, too.
      • Or was, until he got killed by Morgana.
  • Sophisticated As Hell: At the start of the 9/12 session, Joe and RolloT are discussing poop. After Joe says that he hopes Heaven is like the feeling you get after taking an epic dump, and Rollo insisting that this is all in-character, Spoony responds with this:

Spoony: Lord Vane's all, "I know not if there are gods or demons. I know not where one goes when one dies. But if there is indeed a Valhalla, I hope it to be like the feeling that one gets after taking an epic poo."

  • Sorry, I'm Gay: When Princess Elena starts falling for Garret, Grae covers for him by kissing him on the cheek and calling him "honey". (Of course, when they speak with the Princess after killing Talbot, she's still fawning over Garret, so perhaps it didn't take.)
  • Stop or I Shoot Myself: During the final showdown with Lord Talbot, he holds Princess Elena at knifepoint, and Spoony (in a slip of the tongue) says "he has a knife at his throat". This lead to the group wondering if he was doing this, which they said would have been kinda cool.
  • Time Travel: The players discover that this happened to them in the 11/28 game. Grae may have royally screwed up by bringing Alice (see Chekhov's Gunman above) back with them.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Grae, who has been affectionately nicknamed "Elven Hitler."
    • Maybe not, though. When LordKaT said that he had Grae as evil, Spoony remarked that he wasn't sure an evil teammate was acceptable, meaning Grae may just be an Anti-Hero.
      • Darstine-Morgana, though she's not really a teammate as of 12/19.
  • Tome of Eldritch Lore: The Word Of Morgana.
  • Up to Eleven: Lord Vane II is already a Large Ham by default, but it gets turned Up to Eleven when others control him in Joe's absence. It's gotten to the point where Joe said maybe he should start playing Vane the way everyone else plays him.

Spoony (as Vane II): We're wasting time! I can kill with lightning from my hands!

  • We Hardly Knew Ye: John and Sayid. It's a shame, because Sayid apparently had an interesting backstory.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: We may never know what happened to that Elite Guard who was disarmed and left in the wilderness at the end of the second throne room fight.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Darstine's curse from the Word of Morgana gives her access to rituals and magics far greater than any her allies could cast, but every spell used causes a piece of her mind to be lost to Morgana. Might cross into Blessed with Suck.
    • Given that as of the 12/19 session, Morgana has completely taken over Darstine, and has started turning Darstine into a lich, the effects are *FAR* too negative to come under the Cursed with Awesome category.
  • World of Ham: With Spoony's DMing, this is par the course.
    • And the game being played by people who all have being Genre Savvy as their job doesn't help the Hammyness either.
  • You All Meet in An Inn: Played straight. As mentioned by RolloT in his sessions 1-3 recap:

"So our game began with our characters outside of the Kingdom of Sarmanath for one reason or another... Anyway, our group entered a tavern in town so we could acquaint ourselves with one another."

  1. Early on the guys had to make an extremely easy skill check when entering a tavern. When asked what would happen if they failed the check, Spoony responded that if they had failed, they would have entered the empty tavern and tried to order onion rings or something. This has lead to onion rings being referenced whenever someone botches.