Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner/Film

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Examples of Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liners in Film include:

Films -- Animation

Superman: This ends now.

Films -- Live Action

  • "I have come here to Chew Bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum!" This famous example was used in They Live!, but parodying the line has itself become a trope.
  • Shoot Em Up, whenever Smith's Berserk Button gets pressed: "You know what I hate?"
  • In King Arthur, right before the Battle of Badon Hill, Arthur speaks to the Saxon leader Cedric, telling him to "Know this face, Saxon, as it will be the last thing you see before you leave this earth." With a somewhat grudging respect, Cedric mutters as he walks off, "Finally, a man worth killing."
  • The first Blade, when Whistler blows into the room where Blade is being held captive, "Catch you fuckers at a bad time?!"
    • And later on, before Blade finishes off Frost, "Some muthafuckas always trying to ice skate uphill."
  • True Grit, just before Rooster guns down Ned Pepper and his cohorts in a four-on-one horseback gunfight. "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!"
  • Star Trek: First Contact: Worf - "Assimilate this"
    • Alternatively, Data's "Resistance. Is. Futile."
  • Frequently subverted in Big Trouble in Little China. Most of Jack Burton's attempts to offer a Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner seem to precede him either getting his own ass whipped, or putting himself out of action by doing something stupid. Ironically, his successes tend to be preceded by not-very-clever lines, such as saying, "What the hell!" right before he finally nails Lo-Pan (though even that attack initially misfires).
  • Last Action Hero (Before kicking a police officer in the groin):

Jack Slater: You want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of achers!

"I am ripper! Tearer! Slasher! Gouger! I am the teeth in the darkness! The talons in the night! Mine is strength! And lust! And power! I! AM! BEOWULF!"

    • "I'm 'ere to kill your monstah."
  • 300
    • THIS! IS! SPARTA!
    • And some other pretty awesome quotes: "Give them nothing! But take from them, everything!", "This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die! Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.", "Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!", "No retreat, no surrender. That is Spartan law. And by Spartan law, we will stand and fight...and die. A new age has begun: an age of freedom! And all will know that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it!", "Spartans! Prepare for glory! ", "Persians! Come and get them!" (in response to an appeal to lay down their weapons),"We're in for one wild night.", "Spartans! Push!" Needless to say, Three Hundred was full of ridiculously awesome lines. If you saw only Ho Yay on the last two, my work here is done.
      • Truth in Television, some of those—although English doesn't really have an exact analog to how "Molon labe" should be translated. Roughly speaking, what is being rendered as "Come and get them!" is more of a "You can have them if you can get to them." The modern English equivalent would be something along the lines of "You can have my weapon when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers." The line isn't really a Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner, it's a Pre Getting My Ass Kicked One Liner, as was the other famous line from Plutarch: "Their" (meaning the Persians) "arrows will darken the sun!" "Then we shall fight in the shade."
          • The Spartans didn't get their asses kicked at Thermopylae. True they lost, but they did NOT get their asses kicked.
  • Straw Dogs. "OKAY! You've had your fun! And if you don't clear out now... there'll be real trouble. I mean it." Another example is "This is where I live. This is me. I will not allow violence against this house."
  • Evil Dead 2. "Groovy."

Deadite: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Swallow This Is My Boomstick.

Ash: Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
Ash: Come get some.
Ash: All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This... is my BOOMSTICK!
Ash: Honey, you got reeaalll ugly.
Ash: Yo, she-bitch. [chick-chick] Let's go.

  • Grindhouse. "They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!"

Mooks: Have mercy, father.
Padre Cheech Marin: God has mercy. I don't.

Harry Callahan: We're not gonna let you walk outta here.
Crook: Who's "we", suckah!?!
Harry Callahan: (reaching for his gun) Smith, Wesson and me!

Harry Callahan: Hey! You forgot your fortune cookie! (crumbles cookie, takes slip of paper) It says, "You're shit outta luck, punk'". (commence ass-kicking, .44 Magnum-style)

    • Terry Pratchett parodies that first one in Night Watch. After going back in time, Vimes attempts to pull a "Me, Mr. Burleigh and Mr. Stronginthearm," version with a crossbow, only to discover, to his great disappointment, that he's still got decades to wait before the first Burleigh & Stronginthearm crossbows will be invented. And it was such a good line, too.
  • The Lord of the Rings: "Do you not know death when you see it, old man? This is my hour!"
    • "There's plenty for the both of us! May the best dwarf win!
    • "Let them come! There is one dwarf in Moria who still draws breath!"
    • The rooster crow would've been great, if they'd left it in the movie. Ah well.
    • Not quite a one-liner, but "You Shall Not Pass!" and the little pile of taunts that preceeded it.

'Gandalf: You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor! The Dark Fire will NOT avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow!

Guile: I'm the Repo Man... and you're out of business.
Guile: This is the collection agency, Bison! Your ass is six month overdue... and it's mine!

Mac: Scared motherfucker? Well, you should be. 'Cause this Green Beret is gonna kick your big ass!
Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I'm very hungry!
Cindy: (hiding under a table) I can't believe all this macho bullshit...

    • and:

Matrix: Remember when I said I would kill you last? ... I lied.

  • The Matrix: "Dodge This."
    • Also in Revolutions, where the Merovingian is attempting to get the main characters to give him something he wants in order for him to get Neo out of the Matrix. Trinity, with at least two dozen mooks pointing guns at the heads of her, Morpheus, and Seraph, simply says "I don't have time for this shit." and then begins beating the crap out of several of the bodyguards, catching a pistol and holding it against the Merovingian's head.
  • Ripley's "Get away from her, you bitch!" in Aliens.
    • As well as "Let's rock!", followed by a long burst of Smart Gun fire.
  • The Dark Knight Saga:

Joker: (to Rachel) A little fight in you, I like that.
Batman: Then you're gonna love me.
(...)
Joker: You know how I got these scars?
Batman: No, but I know how you got these.

    • And from the previous movie:

Gigantic Con: You are in hell, little man. And I am the devil.
Bruce Wayne: You're not the devil, you're practice.

Riddick: Remember that favorite game of yours?
Kyra: "Who's the better killer?"
Riddick: Let's play.

Riddick: I can kill you with my teacup.

Nicholas Angel: (riding into town carrying an obscene amount of weaponry) Morning.

    • There's also this conversation:

Danny: How's Lurch?
Nicholas: He's in the freezer.
Danny: Did you say "cool off"?
Nicholas: No, I didn't say anything actually.
Danny: That's a shame...
Nicholas: There was a bit earlier on that you missed, where I distracted him with a cuddly monkey, then I said "Playtime's over!" and hit him with the peace lily.
Danny: (delighted) You're off the fuckin' chain!

  • One of the protagonists in Race for the Yankee Zephyr (1981) has a habit of describing the eating habits of the crocodile in disgusting detail to everyone he meets. When he and his friend are stopped at a roadblock of armed mooks, they begin to recite this description in unison—then as the mooks are looking at each other in bemusement launch a Groin Attack.
  • Gran Torino: Clint Eastwood's character has a ton of amazing one liners, but some of the best Pre-Asskicking One-Liners are, "Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me." and "Yea? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea... use you for sandbags."
    • "Get off my lawn".
  • Air Force One: "Get off my plane!"
  • Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen gives us this exchange as a prelude to (one of) Optimus' CMoA:

Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Optimus: You'll never stop at one... I'll take you ALL on!

    • Also:

Optimus: GIVE ME YOUR FACE!

    • And then, he actually took his face.
    • Another from the very beginning, when Optimus single-handedly takes down a decepticon around four times his size that's rampaging through a highway:

Optimus: Pull over!

Megatron: No, it's just me Prime!
Megatron: Then you can join them! Right into extinction!
Megatron: Oh? So unwise...*smashes the ground beneath Sam, sending him falling to his (almost) death*

Megatron: ...Besides, who would be without me, Prime?
Optimus: Time to find out.

  • Die Hard: "Yippie-kai-yay, motherfucker."
  • "My turn."
  • Mad Max: "Two men enter! One man leaves!"
  • "Here's my motherfuckin' farm"
    • Followed up by, "I'm a lead farmer motherfucker!"
  • Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy has the great quote by Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate): "Because I am good at three things: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? Huh?"
    • Screwing?
    • Public news really deserves some credit for their sheer bad-assness.

"Public news is taking time off for its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! NO MERCY!"
"Looks like we got a bilingual blood-fest."

Rorshach: Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.
(cue a prolonged scene of Rorshach hacking a man's skull in half)

Sirius: Get away from my godson. (SMACK)

Dumbledore: It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.
Voldemort: By which point I shall be gone, and you...shall be dead.

  • cue the most epic duel in the film franchise at that point*

Harry: "Sorry Professor, I must not tell lies." Cue Umbridge's ass kicking.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hello there.

    • Shortly afterwards in that same scene, Grievous boasts about how he was trained by Count Dooku in the Jedi Arts.

Obi-Wan: Good, because I trained the Jedi who killed Count Dooku.

Mace Windu: In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic... (fires up lightsaber) you are under arrest, Chancellor Palpatine.

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."
"Your move, creep."

  • Kick-Ass: It should be no surprise this has many, but probably the most famous is Hit-Girl's. Wherein she starts by inverting the normal order of things by killing the boss first, then addresses the mooks: "Okay you cunts...let's see what you can do now." *counts foes and watches to see which one makes a move first* "Eenie...meenie...minie..." *a mook goes for a weapon* "MOE!"
  • Jaws

"Smile, you son of a -" *BOOM*

  • Played and lampshaded in Pulp Fiction, by Jules Winfield who recited Ezekiel 25:17 (although an extended version) and admits he liked to do it before killing someone.
  • In Soldier, one super soldier is getting ready to battle a squad of improved versions.

"There are seventeen of them. What do you plan to do?"
"I'm going to kill them all."

Alice: I told you I'd be bringing a few friends.
Wesker: *Smirking* ...You should have brought more.

Scott: I dislike you.
 Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott: What?
Todd: Because... because you'll be dust on Monday.
Scott: Huh?
Todd: Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend.
Scott: I'm sorry... what?
Todd: And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?
Envy: What in the hell are you talking about, Todd?

  • Judge Dredd. During Dredd and Rico's Final Battle. Slightly subverted in that Rico ends up doing most of the ass kicking at first.

Rico: I'm the only one who never lied to you.
Dredd: I'll be the judge of that.


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