Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried
Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried: My Life As a Revolting Cock is, well, Chris Connelly's memoir of his time as a member of the Revolting Cocks in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
"It's a Revco World, today."
—Linger Ficken' Good
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The book begins in 1985, when Connelly is first introduced to Al Jourgensen and is invited to join the Revolting Cocks. Much hilarity and intoxication ensue.
Contains examples of:
- Affectionate Nickname: Grumpy and Party, for Richard H. Kirk and Stephen Mallinder, respectively.
- Chris is dubbed "Pinky" by Al because of the way his face turns pink when he laughs too hard.
- All Drummers Are Animals: Averted -- Bill Rieflin is actually one of the saner Cocks and as belligerent as Martin Atkins gets, he doesn't fit the stereotype, either.
- All There in the Manual: Working knowledge of Post Punk, Industrial and Industrial Metal musicians is pretty much required reading for this book to make any sense. And even that might not be enough.
- The Alleged Car: Paul Barker's van, Icky.
- All-Star Cast: Look at how many people were members of Pigface!
- Bad Boss: Al can be a big one, at times.
- Bald of Awesome: En Esch
- Beleaguered Assistants: Barker and Rieflin, in addition to their status as the Only Sane Men.
- At one point, Sean Joyce becomes one to Martin Atkins.
- Bittersweet Ending: Moreso than a Downer Ending because of the tiny Hope Spot.
- Boisterous Bruiser: Al Jourgensen, most prominently, who is also most definitely Hot-Blooded.
- Brutal Honesty: Steve Albini's specialty.
- Bullying a Dragon: Phildo Owen's decision to provoke truckers over the CB radio.
- Cerebus Syndrome: About halfway through the book, this kicks-in as drug addiction and personality conflicts start to drive everyone apart. It reaches an apex around 1993, around the time that Jeff Ward killed himself.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Too many to name.
- The Comically Serious: Richard "23" Jonckheere, by virtue of his Small Name, Big Ego behavior.
- Deadpan Snarker: Steve Albini, though Connelly is quite the Deadpan Snarker himself.
- Disgusting Public Toilet: It wouldn't be a road story without one.
- The Ditz: Terry Bones and most of Phildo's friends.
"[He was] perhaps one rung up the genetic ladder from a garden fence." |
- Driven to Suicide: Jeff Ward and William Tucker, as well as one of Chris' girlfriends, Tracey.
- Eagle Land: Connelly is from Scotland and his portrayal of the United States falls into Type III.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: It would probably be easier to list the people who aren't Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunettes.
- The Eighties: Setting of 1/3 of the book
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The female bassist on the first Pigface tour is simply known as "the female bass player."
- Five-Man Band: For the bulk of the book...
- The Hero: Al Jourgensen
- The Lancers: Luc van Acker, Paul Barker
- The Smart Guys: Martin Atkins, Bill Rieflin
- The Big Guys: Phildo Owen, Mike Scaccia, Jeff Ward
- The Chicks: Chris Connelly, William Tucker
- Sixth Rangers: Nivek Ogre, Trent Reznor
- Sixth Ranger Traitor: Richard 23
- Team Mom: Patti Jourgensen, Jim Nash
- Tagalong Kid: Adrian Jourgensen
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Al is Choleric, Paul is Sanguine, Bill is Melancholic, Chris is Phlegmatic.
- Freudian Trio: Al is The McCoy, Paul is The Kirk, Bill is The Spock.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: The female bassist on the first Pigface tour.
- Also, Terry Bones for being a mediocre musician, breaking the shower in the bus, nearly getting everyone arrested and picking fights with other band members for no particular reason.
- Funetik Aksent:
"We had no toime to seenk about it!!!" |
- Gender Blender Name: Mary Byker
- Going Cold Turkey: Averted-- Al apparently tries once, and it doesn't work out so well. Justified, as he was withdrawing from heroin.
- Gonzo Journalism: Possibly unintentional, but yes.
- Goth: Quite a few of them, both of the Perky and Gloomy variety.
- Hero of Another Story: Nivek Ogre, Jello Biafra and Trent Reznor are the most obvious examples, though the same could be said for pretty much everyone in the book.
- Heroes Want Redheads: Patti Jourgensen is a redhead.
- Industrial Metal: Duh.
- Intrepid Reporter: Jason Pettigrew of the Alternative Press.
- Is It Always Like This: There's no better example than Chris' second visit to the United States, when he comes in to find Al wearing a Viking helmet, sitting on a rowing machine and cussing someone out over the phone.
- Jerkass: Let's just say there's a lot of them and leave it at that.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Steve Albini and Martin Atkins, though they'd both probably resent not being given full Jerkass status.
- Large Ham: Al, both off and onstage.
- Lead Bassist: Paul Barker, being the only other official member of Ministry.
- Loads and Loads of Characters
- Man Child: Many, with Al being the king of it.
- Mood Whiplash
- Mushroom Samba:
The actual toilet bowel had turned into a huge shiny white snapping horse's head with angry black eyes. |
- The Nineties: The setting of the rest of the book
- The Not Love Interest: Chris' romantic relationships always take a backseat to his friendship with William Tucker. He describes their first meeting as Love At First Sight and the book ends not long after Tucker's suicide.
- One of Us: The references to He Man and The Masters of The Universe, David Lynch, Mystery Science Theater 3000, This Is Spinal Tap and Doctor Who are proof-positive.
- One Steve Limit: Averted-- there are at least two Williams (Rieflin and Tucker); two Jims (Thirlwell and Nash); two Pauls (Barker and Raven); three Chrises (Bruce, Connelly and Vrenna) and three Michaels (Balch, Scaccia, and World)
- Only Known by Their Nickname: The engineers, Poodle, Princess and Fluffy; a set designer, Angry Baby; one of Chris' girlfriends, Vogue...
- Only Sane Men: Bill Rieflin, Luc van Acker and Paul Barker
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Far too many of the various tour managers.
- Promoted Fanboy: Trent Reznor
- Ragtag Bunch of Misfits
- Sarcastic Devotee: Steve Albini to Martin Atkins and Bill Rieflin, after the founding of Pigface.
- Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll: Goes without saying
- Shaggy Dog Story: Many
- Smug Snake: Richard 23 is probably the biggest.
- The Stoner / Erudite Stoner: Pretty much everyone is one or the other.
- Take That: Too many to list.
- Take That Me: For every potshot against others, Connelly has two or three for himself.
- Talker and Doer: Jim Nash and Dannie Flesher, the co-founders of the WaxTrax label, respectively.
- This Is Going to Be Huge: Al's predictions for the Revolting Cocks and/or Ministry's success never materialize.
- Those Two Guys: Frankie Nardiello and Marston Daley, as well as the two crew members Connelly refers to as "the Poodle and the Princess."
- Through the Eyes of Madness
- To Absent Friends: Postscripts 2 and 3
- Token Evil Teammate: Terry Bones, especially after the incident with a fan who presses assault charges against him.
- Tragic Bromance: Connelly's relationship with William Tucker. So very much.
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Terry Bones and his wife
- Verbal Tic: Al uses "man" so often it slides into this trope.
- Violent Glaswegian: Averted, though that might be because Connelly is actually from Edinburgh.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Al and almost all of his collaborators. Oddly, his relationships with his Yes Men are entirely Type I. Type II is reserved solely for the non-doormats in his life.
- Martin Atkins is also very much the Vitriolic Best Bud of the other members of Pigface.
- Wacky Fratboy Hijinx
- White-Haired Pretty Boy: Bill Rieflin
- The Windy City: Home of WaxTrax
- Yaoi Guys: Jim and Dannie. Both were pretty much Straight Gay.
- Yes-Man: Al has quite a few throughout the book, who live to take his abuse. Phildo Owen gets the most page time out of them.