The Four Gospels/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Jesus Christ

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Joseph of Nazareth

  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome / Disappeared Dad: Theological scholars speculate Joseph's lack of appearance post-Nativity may be due to Joseph dying at some point.
    • Joseph shows up in that episode when Jesus was 12 and He was in the Temple showing off his knowledge to the rabbis. Mary and Joseph were both mentioned here. After this, not much is known. Most sources say Jesus was an adult when Joseph died.
  • My Girl Is Not a Slut: Averted. After finding out that Mary was pregnant, he decided to (quietly) divorce her rather than make a big deal about it and have her be humiliated. That was really decent of him, considering the time and place he was in, he probably saved Mary's life (though he did come back for her).
  • Nice Guy

The Virgin Mary

"Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb!"

John the Baptist

And there was a cry from the wilderness...

The Apostles/disciples

Peter, Andrew, James the brother of John, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the Lesser, Thaddeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas the Betrayer. Matthias was later brought into the group as Judas' replacement. Peter, John, and Judas have their own sections below.

  • Badass Nickname: James and John, the "Sons of Thunder".
  • Calling the Hero Out: Jesus did this to the disciples after they rebuked people for bringing their children to see Jesus.
  • Flat Earth Atheist: Thomas has this reputation if the phrase "Doubting Thomas" is anything to go by, but it's fairly unjustified: all the apostles had trouble accepting Jesus' resurrection without physical proof; Thomas was just singled out because he arrived late. In addition, Jesus readily offered said proof and they immediately believed upon seeing it.
  • Literal-Minded: The Apostles were often clueless about the things Jesus taught. They thought that Jesus was coming to restore the monarchy that David started even after Jesus rose from the dead. It wasn't until after Jesus sent the Holy Spirit that the Apostles understood everything.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted with two Jameses, the two Judases, and also with a second John (the first being John the Baptist). Played straight with Simons, as Jesus named one "Peter" - but even then, yet another Simon was involved in the crucifixion.
  • Real Men Love Jesus: Since many of the apostles worked in blue-collar occupations such as fishing and carpentry, it's fair to assume they were manly men-- and loved Jesus, of course.
  • The Sixth Ranger: Matthias

Simon Peter/Cephas

"And I name you Peter, for you are the rock from which I will build My church".

  • Badass Beard
  • Badass Nickname: Jesus gave him the name "Peter", which is from the Greek word for stone, "petros" ("cephas" is another Greek word meaning the same thing). How cool must that have been to have Jesus call you "Rock"? (Though, to be fair, Jesus was also quick to point out when he wasn't living up to the name.)
  • Character Development: Post-Pentecost, Peter becomes the new leader of Jesus's movement and gains maturity from it.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: He was crucified. Upside down.
  • Glamour Failure: He sees through Simon Magus' scams.
  • Hot-Blooded:
    • During two accounts of Jesus's arrest scene, Peter cuts off a soldier's ear with his sword (and one of these accounts makes it clear that, yes, Jesus healed it). This is just one of the many times Peter opens his mouth and inserts his foot.
    • Also, the time when Jesus tells Peter that anything he asks by faith will be granted. The first thing Peter asks for? That Jesus doesn't have to die. Jesus immediately rebukes it, repeating that his death is preordained.
  • The Lancer: Jesus left Peter in charge of the movement he started.
  • Living Lie Detector: One incident in Acts has a guy named Ananias attempting to commit fraud, but Peter sees right through the con. Ananias dies on the spot. A few hours later, Ananias's wife, Sapphira, tried to do the same and suffered the same fate.
  • One Steve Limit: Enforced. Since there was another Simon among the twelve, Jesus gave him the Peter nickname instead.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Initially, Peter was the hot blooded foil to Jesus's calm demeanor, but post-Pentecost, he got better and became Paul's foil.

John the Apostle

"He who does not know love does not know God because God is love".

Judas Iscariot

"Have you come to betray the son of man with a kiss?"

"He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it."

  • Trope Namer: To call someone a Judas is to say he is a traitor.

Mary Magdalene

Herod the Great

Simon of Cyrene

Pontius Pilate

The Pharisees

"Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone."

  • Calling the Hero Out: They were not really heroes, they only claimed to be, but the Pharisees made the temple into a den of thieves and Jesus rebuked them for this.
  • Completely Missing the Point: See quote. They followed the ceremonies of the law to a T, but they completely over looked the more important spirit of the law.
  • God Never Said That: God gave a number of general rules, but by Jesus' time these had been analyzed and quantified into strict rules by the Pharisees. When the Pharisees tried to call Jesus on his "rulebreaking", He often explained that they had over analyzed the letter of the law and missed the spirit completely. For example, the Pharisees said He violated the Sabbath's ban on work by healing someone; He explained that while the Sabbath is a day of rest it's never against God's law to help a person or show mercy on them (See Matthew 12).
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: "If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent."
  • Greed: They turned the temple into a bank.
  • Holier Than Thou / Pride
  • Hypocrite: Their religion was more to make then look good in front of men then out of any real love for God. For example, they got mad at the disciples for eating with unwashed hands, but they themselves plotted murder and stole from people.
  • Irony:
    • They had a reputation as being very religious. They also were some of Jesus's worst enemies.
  • Insane Troll Logic: They accused Jesus of being Demonically Possessed because He healed people and cast out demons.
  • Knight Templar
  • Lawful Stupid
  • Loophole Abuse: Sort of, they had to make up a new rule to do it. They had a tradition that if something was declared "Corban" or "devoted to God" it was not to be used for secular use, and they would use that as a excuse not to use whatever it was to help their parents.
  • Malicious Slander
  • Morton's Fork: One of their preferred strategies for trying to entrap Jesus: Should we execute this woman for adultery (defying the law of Rome), or not (defying the law of Moses)? (Jesus Took a Third Option.)
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: Jesus called them out not only for being holier-than-thou, but for putting unnecessary restrictions on the average folk.
  • Rules Lawyer: And really didn't like it that Jesus' Rule Fu Was Stronger.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Money
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them

Zechariah, father of John the baptist

  • The Speechless: He was unable to speak for a time because he did not believe the angel Gabriel when he said that he would have a son.