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Botchamania/Funny

< Botchamania


Botchamania 1-10

  • #5: Sandman's drunken attempt to do a promo for NoDQ.com's XMV (full promo here, Botchamania here)
  • #8: The now-legendary definition of a "windjammer":
 

Al: Can I ask you a question first of all?
Lance: Go right ahead.
Al: You know the definition of a windjammer?
Lance: No I really don't--
Al: It's the agonizing screams of a trapped turd.
(Beat, followed by raucous laughter)
Lance: ...shit!

 


Botchamania 11-20

  • #11: Dave "The Redneck" Schultz's misadventures in San Francisco:
 

Schultz: Last time I was in San Francisco, I went downtown lookin' for a woman. You know what I'm saying?! I wanted a woman! I couldn't find a woman! (Mean Gene, conducting the interview, corpses) I found a lot of men that LOOKED LIKE women! (camera zooms in Schultz's face as Gene turns away) Now YOU, Hulk Hogan, you belong in San Francisco--What's wrong with you, Gene?!--I'm tellin' it like it is, baby! You belong in San Francisco; that's your kind of place, that's your kind of people, because you've never had a woman, baby!

 
    • Also, Sid Vicious says the following with an entirely straight face:
 

Sid Vicious: You know and I know that you are only half the man that I am, and I have half the brain that you do!

 
  • 15: The Rock appears to be suffering from a bout of laryngitis, much to Mankind's amusement.
    • The Rock loses his glasses. And then Mankind retrieves them for him.
 

The Rock: The Rock thanks you for that.

 
  • 18: The Rock + Coach + Broken Microphone = Hilarious.
  • 20: Roddy Piper dropping an F-Bomb and Gene Okerlund's reaction.
    • "Hower Power". Period.
    • A Japanese wrestler has technical difficulties:
 

Wrestler: Oi! (mic isn't functioning properly, starts tinkering with it)
(Audience laughs)
Wrestler: (to someone in the crowd) <HEY! STFU>

 
    • Lex Luger goes berserk.
 

Lex Luger: I'm pissed, now!

 


Botchamania 21-30

 

Nash: So while you guys decide to do the limo-flyin'...

 
  • 27: Dragon Dragon, the most agile reptile in wrestling history. Or maybe not.
  • 28: Look out, Vince! Flying sweatshirt!
 

King: Morons!

 
    • The "Chicken Incident".
 

Vince: I'll choke the chicken!

 


Botchamania 31-40


Botchamania 41-50

 

Orton: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 
 

"They're sliding in not one but two Tables ladders".

 
    • JR calls Umaga's spinning sideslam to Jeff Hardy a Black Hole Slam, while technically not wrong it looks rather awkward considering the implications.
  • 46: Million Dollar Mania, Rick-Rolling and all.
  • 47: Gene Okerlund vs. Alfred Hayes. Who will corpse first?
    • The "UnderCasket". If you thought Paul Bearer was funny when he wasn't flubbing his lines...
  • 50: Rottweilers Gone Wild.


Botchamania 51-60

  • 51: The Giant goes down at the end of a title match via a belt shot to the face...and stays down for 6 minutes afterwards. They must've replaced the gold with lead.
    • Gene Okerlund vs. Prankster Cameraman.
  • 52: "He got a BICYCLE!!! He got a BICYCLE from somebody, who would be ridin' a bicycle in this arena?![...]Speakin' of gibberish, Bubba went over and got him a bicycle, I don't know where the kid is that was a-ridin' it, but he ain't on it when he brought it to the ring!"
  • 58: Randy Savage singing along with The Village People (no points for guessing which song).
  • 59: Randy Savage going overboard at the Royal Rumble and having to be restrained and dragged back into the ring...by The Undertaker.
    • 'Who do you think, you are kidding Mr Hitler...'
  • 60: Jake Roberts titillates the audience by playing with his, erm, snake.


Botchamania 61-70

 

Stephanie McMahon: Furthermore these superstars will be in action against each other. You will see Triple H...Well, I pulled an Adamle.

 
  • 68: On an episode of ECW during a match between Jack Swagger and Christian:
 

Todd Grisham: Our main event continues next, Swagger vs Striker and Finlay & Hornswoggle are here too.

Matt Striker: I'm not wrestling!

 
  • 69: Jim Cornette's Dusty Rhodes impersonation. Also, the origin of the Cornette Face (though the classic use would originate in BM 84).


Botchamania 71-80

  • 71: The Undertaker's bizarre facial expression during his Wrestlemania 25 match. What's he thinking about, anyway?
  • 72: How much does this guy weigh?
  • 73: Shawn Michaels' costume gets stuck to the ramp during his entrance.
  • 74: The Slim Jim rap.
    • Note to all wrestlers: Always wear undertights. Because you never know.
  • 79: CZW: When Airhorns Attack.
    • The debut of "FAAACKING BULLSHEET!".
  • 80: Medusa and Meng, the true bookends of the Monday Night Wars.


Botchamania 81-90

 

Scott Steiner: So if I set up a meeting with you and Sharmell, and I'll be the modifier-

Reporter: You mean, moderator.

(Beat)

Scott Steiner: SHUT UP!!!

 
 

Toronto Fans: GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO!

 
 

Audience Member: Knock knock, who's there? I GOT NO PANTS ON!!!

 


Botchamania 91-100

 

Audience: Let's go, table! *clapclapclapclapclap*

 
 

Randy Orton: Unfortunately, something else is a part of me. Something that I have been living with for quite some time.
Fan: HERPES!!!

 


Botchamania 101-110

  • 101: Gene Okerlund corpses. Again.
  • 103: Cactus Jack and Terry Funk face the wrath of the flying chairs.
 

Joey Styles: Please do not throw the chairs into the ring! Stop the chairs!

 
  • 104: Yet another promo walk-in.
  • Botchamania 109 opens with a high-energy intro to Survivor Series set against Guilty Gear music. In the middle of it all is a quick "Send For The Man" cutaway that goes against the tone so hard it's just hilarious.
 

Dusty Rhodes: It's a toilet lid! He's got a toilet lid! Look, a pizza pan!

 
  • 110: Trish Stratus and "Polly Walnuts".
    • Caution: Floor slippery when covered with cotton candy.
    • Yet another f*cked-up WCW ending. Cue Cornette Face, Orton Face, Taker Face, Hogan Face...


Botchamania 111-120

  • 112: Chris Jericho vs. Flying Glowsticks.
  • 116: A wrestler loses his pants, much to the commentators' amusement.
 

Commentator: We just saw his weiner!

 


Botchamania 121-130

 

CM Punk: Wow, that hurt.

 


Botchamania 131-140

  • 132: Big Dick Dudley finally snaps and takes it all out on a young fan.
  • 133: ROH + Broken Microphones = Hilarious.
  • 135: Perhaps the most awesome use of this Full Metal Jacket line ever, when two wrestlers fall on each other in a... suggestive pose:
 

You're the kinda guy who'd fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!

 
  • 136 A wrestler suplexes his opponent onto some light tubes Maffew decides to play the character of the referee who got a piece of glass in his eye.
 

Ref: My eye Lawler, you SOB Lawler, my eye. Damn you Lawler.

 
  • TNA Bookers vs. WWE Bookers from #136:
 

(A meeting room taken from Akira, with the caption TNA Booking Meeting)
Elderly Booker: The colonel suggests that we plan ahead and have RVD beat AJ on PPV for the belt, instead of having it on Impact! for free with no build.

Asinine Booker: WHAT?! Is he taking the piss?! If we do that, the spotlight would be off Hogan! If we have the athleticism and wrestling emphasized, this'll make Hogan look bad! Doing it on TV won't give the fans the chance to think that!

Crazy Booker: Can the Nasty Boys be involved in the finish? They need the rub.

Half-Hit-in-the-Ass Booker: Nah, we fired them. What about Bubba the Love Sponge? He could squash Generation Me.

Level-headed Booker: I fired him already! The bastard called me a black bitch!

Crazy Booker: You are a black bitch!

Level-headed Booker: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Only Sane Booker: ENOUGH! Can't we push someone the fans want to see?!

Asinine Booker: Of course! We can have Rob Terry beat RVD for the belt!

(Beat)

Only Sane Booker: (seething) FUCK THIS COMPANY! (storms off) I bet the McMahons aren't like this...

(Jump Cut to a picture of the NERV emblem with the caption WWE Booking Meeting)

Narrator: Meanwhile...

Head Booker: Ah, fuck it...just give Swagger the belt.

 
  • 138: The explanation of Eric Young's heel turn, cue Brother Ray face, cue stickman Cornette Face, horses (and one dolphin) leaping over a rainbow set to carnival music.
    • The legendary shooting star press that resulted in the wrestler landing chest-first on the same turnbuckle.
  • 139: Look out, Booker T! Flying bottle!
  • 140: Ladies & Gentlemen "Jumpin" Jeff Farmer.
    • Endings courtesy of MS Paint.


Botchamania 141-150

  • 141: The discovery that John Cena is in fact... Shane Douglas! Now cut the fucking music.
  • 143: "Magnificent" Don Muraco sure loves doughnuts.
  • 144: An announcer botches Raven's entrance, and it's all downhill from there.
    • Terry Funk's dream.
  • 145: Lawsuitmania.
    • Sabu wrestles well, leading to the conclusion that he's either the reverse Samson or he botches botching. Just when you think you have all the answers, Sabu changes the questions.
  • 146: 'And Kidman, bring your squack!'
    • The Sheik and a love letter
  • 147: The Japanese Table strikes again.
  • 150: The Botchamania Tribute Match, which included...
    • Blown spots!
    • Tables that would not break!
    • Insane Dusty Commentary! The guy who sent in the match, "Spike", went and grabbed a bicycle to use as a weapon; 1) he shouted "HE GOT A BICYCLE!", 2) the crowd started a Botchamania chant, and 3) the commentator ran down Dusty Rhodes's infamous commentary from that moment, right down to the lisp and inflections Dusty used.


Botchamania 151-160

 

Mask Salesman: Don't tell me...it's CZW...AGAIN...isn't it? (pissed-off face)

 
    • The first promo. It would have been funny even if it hadn't been botched.
  • 151: "Cattle Mutilation".
  • 152: "Are you asking for a no-disqualification?"
    • "I EAT CHILDREN!"
  • 153: Bret Hart gets his opponent in a sharpshooter and Earl Hebner almost counts it as a pin.
    • Fcuk This Compant.
    • Sting gatecrashes a match ... or does he?
  • 155: What do you get when you take a Sabu match with blown spots and other botches and set it to to the theme of Andy William's "The Impossible Dream"? Hilarity.
  • This ending to Botchamania 156, which equates Cena to a certain Super Mario character...
  • 160: The very beginning, and repeating theme throughout of The Iron Sheik having a raging boner right before he put the camel clutch on Hulk Hogan.


Botchamania 161-170

  • #164, in response to the atrocious Sting vs. Jeff Hardy match, Jim Cornette tweeted, "Just watched TNA...I have to come up with a new face." Cue montage of Cornette reaction images set to "Happy Happy Joy Joy".
  • #165: Scott Steiner needs another drink.
  • #166: "Hide my face! You have brought shame to the Tiger Mask name! And this is coming from Tiger Mask IV!"
    • One of the endings has audio clips of the announcer from NFL Blitz set to photos of wrestlers and the horrible angles they were involved in (the Montreal Screwjob, the Fingerpoke of Doom, the Shockmaster's entrance, etc.) Maffew inserts his own jokes about them, some of them straightforward (a sound byte of a player's name and the corresponding wrestler), some clever (a picture of Eddie Guerrero with the sound byte "Holmes!") some you can catch if your pause finger is fast enough.
      • What sounds like "She-he" with a picture of Chyna: "Sorry, that joke was a bit obvious. I was only kidding, anyway. Besides, who or what else could I put here? Orlando Jordan? Goldust?" Now that's just offensive!"
      • "Fat" with a picture of Samoa Joe: "Damn you, Scott Steiner promos! And your unintentional hilarity!"
      • "Should've stayed home today...hell, I should've stayed home..." with a picture of the Jeff Hardy vs. Sting title "match": "Oh, come on! Really?!"
      • Three uses of "Why?!" with the images of Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff shaking hands, Hornswoggle, and Michael Cole in succession.
  • #167: "I sat through two three-minute matches and Hornswoggle rapping, missed Danielson / Sheamus, and that's the Wrestlemania main event?! "In response to the double count-out finish of the Cena/Miz match at Wrestlemania XXVII (before the match restarted), the Cornette Medley, a collection of photoshopped Cornette Faces turning Jim Cornette into various people/characters such as The Iron Sheik, RoboCop, Konata Izumi, Arachniman, Kamina, Ash Ketchum, etc. Set to "Call on Me" (known to YTMNDers as the "X Never Changes Facial Expressions" song).
  • #170: Jim Ross calls a Diva a bitch.
 

Jerry Lawler: WHAT?!

 


Botchamania 171-180

  • 171: Diego "The Strangler" Corleone takes a tumble.
  • 172: The "Muffler Incident". Nothing more needs to be said.
    • Robert Rhode cuts a promo involving a knock knock joke on Matt Hardy and his mystery tag partner Chris Harris (who left TNA to go to WWE and was renamed Braden Walker).
 

Fans: KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? BRADEN WALKER!

 
  • 173: Mean Gene Okerlund winds up mixing up the name of Daffney, a female wrestler, with Crowbar, a male wrestler.
    • Randy Savage, the gift that keeps on giving.
    • Vuvuzelas are the new airhorns.
    • CZW commentators should look behind them every once in a while.
  • 174: The Miz is ... AAWWWWWWFUUUUUL!!!
  • 175: MY NAME IS CHAD.
 

Fans: CHAD SUCKS! CHAD SUCKS!

 
    • "TRENT ACID, YOU ALMOST KICKED ME IN THE BALLS, YOU ASSHOLE!!!"
    • Tony Chimel announcing the, uh, "Woman's" Championship.
  • 176: Drew Galloway starts a promo by saying, "Unlike Drew Galloway..." Whoever corrected him off-screen was clearly displeased.
    • Fans taunt King with a Burger King crown. And actually get it on his head!
 

King: McMahon! I'm about to punch somebody's lights out right now!
Fans: BURGER KING! BURGER KING!

 
  • 179: "What are these doing here? Here we come, Botchamania."
 

WHAAAT?!

 
    • Hey Mr. Anderson, watch out for that- (thud) ...microphone...


Botchamania 181-190

 

Booker T: Hip bone connected to the leg bone!
Michael Cole: What?!

 
  • 186: This CZW clip setup:
 

Cornette Face: (superimposed on Conan O'Brien's Walker, Texas Ranger lever) Dear Maffew: Please stop using CZW clips. Sincerely, Cornette Face.

(Conan pantomimes grabbing something and then punching it, sending the Cornette Face away. He then pulls the lever)

SFX: JEEEEZUS!

 
  • 188: Mr. Anderson has finally had enough with the microphone bloopers.
 

Mr. Anderson: AAAASSSHOOOOLLES!!!

 
 

Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk!
(Kronk does, and a trap door appears underneath Yzma)
SFX: (as Yzma falls) JEEEEEEEEEEEE EEESUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUS !!!

 
    • "Stop living in the past, you idiots!".
    • And yet another corpsing fit courtesy of Gene Okerlund.


Botchamania 191-200

  • 192: Kane scares Coach right off his chair.
    • Hit a dropkick, land on head--that's Ric Blade's career in 10 seconds."
    • Introducing the British Table.
  • 193: Booker T discusses the "We comin' fo' YOU, nigga!" moment.
    • A typical CZW setup is turned on its ear when it instead cuts to Chuck Norris at a WWE event kicking down another wrestler; cut back to Conan O'Brien, only with Vince Russo's head superimposed over his, with "SWERVE" as the caption. It then goes into CZW as normal.
  • 194: And now it's time for "Good Idea; Bad Idea." Or, as Maffew describes it, "These punches couldn't put a dent in a cream cake."
    • Scott Steiner gets pissed at the crowd for cheering for him.
    • IWA King of the Death Matches 2011:
      • Bucky Collins' intro music is cut off. He pauses, then finishes his entrance singing the beat to his own song.
      • A fan at ringside is seen wearing a headband with Pikachu ears. Cue WTF?! reaction images.
    • CHIKARA vs. ring construction.
  • 195: Samoa Joe legit KOs his opponent in a match. Since he can't wrestle anymore, his partner has to drag him back to his own corner and tag his unconscious body.
  • 196: "FISH BATTER!"
    • Sandman's cell phone goes off.
 

Sandman: Hey! (to the crowd) Tell my mom--am I'm in the middle of a match?!
(crowd cheers)
Sandman: ...no, I'm not in a bar!

 
      • Someone in the crowd imitates The Iron Sheik, knowing full well this is going in Botchamania.
    • Another random garbage match.
  • 197: JR-Roonie, anyone?
 

Jim Ross: I never said I was a rapper!

 
    • An XPW announcer mouths off.
 

De hot dog give me diarrhea for 3 week!

 
 

Bela: VAIT...POOL DA STRINK! POOL DA STRINK!
CZW Lever: JYAY-ZUS!

 
  • 198: It's Iron Sheik Appreciation Night at CZW, apparently.
    • The CZW clips are setup with Randy Orton's theme playing (specifically "I Hear Voices in My Head, They Counsel Me, They Understand, They Talk to Me). Before Conan pulls the lever, the phrase "PULL IT" blinks in and out repeatedly around him.
  • 199: "And now, TNA Wrestling and Direct Auto Insurance present Genesis." Or as it's known in Europe... Ah who am I kidding? If TNA were a Sega console, it sure as hell wouldn't be the Mega Drive. TNA 32X ("Door into Summer" plays)
  • 200: A fan yells, "Kick him in the dick!"--repeatedly--which leads to, "Carlito corpsing? SEND FOR THE MAN!"
    • The Miz leaves his mark in the ring. Literally.
    • After a grueling Ladder Match, El Generico finally manages to pull down the belt. And the air vent in the ceiling. He celebrates by hoisting up both of them.
      • After the match, Kevin Steen had this to say:
 

Steen: I'll tell ya one thing...I knew we'd tear the fucking roof off.

 
    • First came Insane Dusty Commentary, then Inane Black Snow commentary, then there was Insipid Taz commentary, even Intoxicated Piper Commentary, and then #200 gave us Imbecilic Michael Cole Commentary.
 

"How does that gobshite get on the television?!"

 


Botchamania 201 and beyond

  • 201: Mark Haskins landing on his neck after a botched Shooting Star Press. What makes the comedy of this moment is that Brock Lesnar's entrance music is playing during the clip! In case you don't get it, Brock Lesnar's most famous botch was nearly exactly like that of Haskins'.
    • Suddenly, NINJAS! Thousands of them! Hey, Mr. Ninja! Watch out for that--(crash)...camera.
    • A joshi wrestler does a big splash off the top rope...and her mask flies off.
    • The very fact that Kurt Angle made light of the fact that he could say whatever he wanted and get cheered was hilarious enough, but what do you think it was the setup for?
 

Kurt: Truth be told, I'm not a fan of "the black people." And if I would go back in time, the one person in history I'd want to make tap out would have to be...
(Conan O'Brien and his Walker, Texas Ranger lever are superimposed over the face of Daivari)
SFX: JEEZUS!

 
  • 202: The setup for CZW is heralded by game footage from Star Fox 64. As in, hitting the eight locks and shooting the rail switcher to make the Forever Train crash into a fuel bunker and explode:
 

Peppy: Okay, now shoot the switcher!
Zandig: NOBODY DOES THIS TO ZANDIG!
(The tank then shoots the switcher)
SFX: (as a communique from Conan O'Brien and his Walker, Texas Ranger lever) JEEZUS!
Peppy: Good going, Fox!

 
  • 203: The Ace-Team! And David Otunga
    • Adam Pearce and his manager argue with a fan to the point they start doing breath exercises, but it backfires spectacularly with "Scarp Iron corpsing? SEND FOR THE MAN!"
  • 204: In "Sing Along With Ex-Drew Gulak Fans", the CZW crowd really gives it to Drew with chants of "Whit-ney Hous-ton", "Brook-lyn Braw-ler", "Bar-ry Hor-o-witz", "Giiiiiillberg", "S.D. Jones", "Cena sucks", "Turtle-neck", "Su-per Dra-gon", "Fuck this shit", "Wife-beater", "You screwed Bret", "H-B-K" and "Under-taker". The commentators nearly lose it while Drew is understandably pissed.
    • At TNA Victory Road '12, Jeremy Borash holds a cell phone and tells us that "Victory Road" is the No. 1 Twitter trend in the United Kingdom. Maffew then exposes TNA as bad liars by saying, "There's no legal way of watching TNA PPVs live in the UK. Be careful what you brag about."
  • 205: An extremely heavy man makes his debut for an indy promotion, leans back on the ropes during his introduction... and breaks the ring. Maffew even works in the losing horns from The Price Is Right to add insult to injury.
    • Poor Maria Menounos really gets it in this Botchamania for her performance at WrestleMania XXVIII. Sure, she got a lot of acclaim for working most of the match with broken ribs, but it's not her overall performance that gets nitpicked by Maffew. For starters, Maria and Kelly Kelly performed a double stinkface to Eve and as Maffew points out, "Celebrity Woman stinkfaces Eve. Her fake tan rubs off on her arse[2]." To make matters worse, she became the victim of "Corpsing at 'Mania? SEND FOR THE MAN!"
    • Apparently, CZW has invested in Japanese tables.


Botchamania Specials

Steinermania:

    • What do you get when you take Scott Steiner and Triple H's godawful match at Royal Rumble 03 and set it to the tune of "Sneaking" from MGS:VR Missions This.
  1. ↑ Karen Angle, now Karen Jarrett
  2. ↑ It Got Worse as the Internet was immediately abuzz with rumors that Maria left skid marks before the match.
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