So Bad It's Horrible/Fan Works/Fanfic M-P

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Important Note: Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not enough to justify a work as So Bad It's Horrible. Hard as it is to imagine at times, there is a market for all types of deviancy (no matter how small a niche it is). It has to fail to appeal even to that niche to qualify as this. Any descriptions that fail to imply anything but offensiveness will be deleted.

  • Misery Senshi Neo Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle The MST is here. (crossover)
    • Fandom: Sailor Moon/Daria. With a large dash of essence of Tom Clancy, and some Beavis and Butthead.
    • Synopsis: Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Really.
      • Or, to put it another way: there are three different terrorist attacks being planned. One is a corporation who intends to steal a new military plane called the Neo-Zero and bomb Tokyo with it to create a new empire. There is an Islamic terrorist who intends to hijack a JAL Tokyo-London flight and then hit Lawndale High with an atomic bomb. Lawndale has its own domestic terrorists planning to take over the city. Right before these plans start coming into action, Ami, who is going to medical school in Germany, emails Daria (they have an over-the-Net relationship) to please come to Japan ASAP. She does; when she arrives, she is limoed directly to the shrine where Rei works. Ami makes Daria Sailor Mercury in her place; Daria didn't even know of this plan - or the existence of Sailor Senshi - until right when it happens. The others abruptly realize they're going to have to deal with a crabby, cynical, rude senshi... And right after that, the double-agent in the evil corporation goes to contact Mamoru, and the ninja spy watching him wires a report back to the evil corporation...
    • Comments: Worse than it sounds. The MST treatment helps. Behold: Copyrights listed to anyone who ever wrote anything! (Including guides to military airplanes.) Exposition of every country in Asia! A Japanese Nazi girl! The world's least-defended hangar! Numerous plot threads with no obvious immediate connection! Daria stripped of her sense of humor! Wanton cruelty to talking cats! An epilogue explaining every joke in the story! And so much more. The story proper is also stultifying. Ouch.
      • The author has written many other Daria fanfics, two of them MSTed at the site above.

"Christina put a duffel bag on the bed and opened it. Then she got a clean uniform and put it into the bag. She also got a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a box of dental floss, a small bottle of mouthwash, a small can of deodorant spray, a small bar of soap, and a small bottle of shampoo from the bathroom and put them into the bag. Christina zipped the bag closed."

      • It then goes Beyond the Impossible by copy-pasting the same scenes with minor changes not only between chapters, but within chapters. (For example, the same threesome with the participants' names changed takes place three times in a row in the same chapter). These enormous, glaring writing issues make the plot agonizingly repetitive and dull.
      • But there's more! The fic is ridiculous and nonsensical on so many levels. The battles have no tension because they are almost all friendly and bloodless. The Girls Love scenes are a cross between something out of a bad porno and an artificial intelligence's attempt to describe sex, with no rhyme or reason for most of the pairings. The political background is absurd. Half the participants in the tournament appear to have been selected by throwing darts at a world map. Massively impoverished countries like Niger and Lebanon have the resources and know-how to build Gundams; many wealthier nations seemingly don't. Almost every deviation from the lather-rinse-repeat Battle of the Week formula is dropped and forgotten within a few chapters, ill-conceived, confusing, or (most often) all three. Examples include the random bikini photoshoot, the quark-gluon plasma missile built using 21st-century technology that never gets used, and the long and bizarre scenes in which put-upon supermarket employees deal with rude customers while the main characters sympathize; at one point, they give one such employee a $100 tip. (The author is a supermarket employee.) Later, an attempt is made to build up the Iranian team as a credible villain; this fails. The protagonists' reactions to * gasp* the killing of another contestant seem absurd in a military contest with such high stakes, and the Iranian Gundam goes down like a punk when a protagonist finally confronts it. The story ends with some bizarre attempts to tie itself to the source material through past-life/parallel universe-related visions, an ill-explained defection by one of the American team, an out-of-nowhere one-chapter plot about terrorists, and an Anvilicious speech by Relena:
  • Naga Eyes (rape, vore, incredibly bad writing, damage to sanity, slash, possible bestiality)
    • Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
    • Pairings: Sora/naga Riku
    • Synopsis: In a World of Purple Prose, Sora travels to VORELAND and becomes the sex toy of "Riku", an anatomically impossible naga.
    • Comments: Most of what you need to know about this monstrosity, as well as a link to an MST of it, can be found on its trope page. This thing is full of Did Not Do the Research, You Fail Sex Ed Forever, and typos so bad that you often have no idea what's going on.
  • Natalie's Perverse Secret (explicit sex, Squick, pedophilia, scat, incest, Wish Fulfillment, horrible writing)
    • Fandom: Real Person Fic
    • Pairings: Natalie/Author's Self-Insert/A 7-year-old girl
    • Synopsis: An extremely nerdy guy gets lucky enough to date Natalie Portman and discovers that they conveniently share all kinds of fetishes.
    • Comments: Nobody in this fic talks like a real person. The writing style is mechanical. The author goes out of his way to namedrop any movie he can think of that stars Natalie Portman and somehow ties each one into his fetishes. Natalie herself is a Possession Sue here—she has zero personality except for being a female version of the author, and thus had the exact same interests and fetishes. Speaking of fetishes, as the story goes on, the sex scenes get more bizarre and disgusting.
      • Sample dialog:

"Stop talking and cornhole me".

--"Billy was a great believer in Jesus. Especially the parts where the smiting of the fags and the making the sandniggers discover the Good Book were concerned."

--"He'd jumped at the chance to join the White Eagles. A good unit without the blacks and the yellows and the brownies. The officers had been very good and very smart, even letting their men know that the President and Vice President themselves had the utmost confidence in the White Eagles and the super secret project that would make America the undisputed big daddy of the world forever."

—"Vice President Dick Ripper savored the sound of it. World Domination. None of this stupid pretending to be a Democracy for the lesser classes bullshit. It would be a return to the good old days when you could use a whip on the poor people when they got too uppity and spoke back to their betters. Where Bitches knew their proper place, on their knees and on their backs. After all, hadn't he taught his own sweet daughter that? She was a good trained little slut now and he was looking forward to his first son from her soon."
  • Of Warlords and Pleasures (Squick, explicit furry sex, paedophilia, Gorn)
    • Fandom: Redwall
    • Pairings: many
    • Synopsis: everyone fucks everyone in graphic detail and often in thoroughly implausible situations.
    • Comments: Unintentionally Unsympathetic rises to new heights in a scene in which the supposed heroes' response to hearing someone be raped to death is to start having sex. Sawney Rath's motives do a 180 mid-fic. Cregga Rose Eyes of all characters becomes a Purity Sue. The Madonna-Whore Complex turns out not to be any less offensive when the whore is the side being praised.
  • Olimar Fucks a Pikmin (Squick, necessitates Brain Bleach, explicit sex)
    • Fandom: Pikmin
    • Pairings: Captain Olimar/20 Pikmin, Author/Pikmin Doll
    • Synopsis: Captain Olimar finds an onion containing 20 Pikmin. As they engage in sexual activities, the perverted author jerks off before, ahem, sticking a Pikmin doll where the sun don't shine.
    • Comments: The author somehow managed to cram unbelievable amounts of fail into text that doesn't amount to a paragraph. The author clearly felt that it wasn't bad enough to reveal being aroused by a kid-friendly video game and so worked in details that threaten the reader's sanity.
      • To top it all off, a look at the reviews page shows that in a lame attempt to give himself a good name, he reviewed his own story but couldn't be bothered to use proper spelling.
      • The story has been taken off AFF. While this means the preserved state of innocence for countless other people, those of us who remember this fic will be sure to have lingering Bad Dreams for some time to come.
      • It has a Dramatic Reading here. The innocent can still be corrupted. At least it shouldn't have spelling errors.
  • One Angry Person by VincentStarman (Canon Defilement, Squick, Awful parenting)
    • Pairings: Clyde/Lori (one-sided)
    • Fandom: The Loud House
    • Synopsis: The antics of the sisters finally makes Lincoln snap, and one hard slap by Lori makes him stop caring about them all together and start thinking only of himself.
    • Comments: The Lincoln in this fic doesn't get grounded for doing a whole litany of horrible things to his sisters, even calling Lori "the worst sister in the world". And the fic tries to make it look like Lori is the one who is doing something wrong. When Peeking Through The Fourth Wall did this fic, they found this one to be the most mean-spirited fic they ever MST'd.
  • Osaka Goes Crazy. (Character Derailment, Gorn, Canon Defilement, Moral Event Horizon crossing, character death, crossover)
    • Fandom: Azumanga Daioh, with a dash of Yotsuba&!
    • Synopsis: It is Chiyo's eleventh birthday. Osaka drives the other Azugirls to a remote cabin in the woods and kills most of them with a sword, execution-style, just for the heck of it. She would've killed Chiyo, too, but she was shot by Mrs. Yuta before she could do more than cut Chiyo's limbs off. Chiyo is taken to the hospital, fixed up as much as her being limbless will allow, and interrogated by a policeman who tells her that Osaka got away; they thought she was dead, but the bullet hit a plate in her head... Yotsuba and a limbless! Chiyo try to set up a trap to catch and kill the loony Osakan.
    • Comments: This might've been So Bad It's Good if not for the execrable grammar and spelling. And even then... when did Osaka learn to drive? And why does Chiyo make a run for it about two paragraphs after we are told she is tied to a post, only to be stopped when Osaka grabs her hair? Definitely not a story to be read if you have Perverse Sexual Lust for Osaka - not just because of how terrible the story is, but because of the (now-removed, apparently) gruesome ending.
  • The Perfect Drug by TrentFanL0L. It's M-rated, but... (crossover, slash, suicide, explicit sex, character death)
    • Fandoms: Mostly Harry Potter with a crossover character from Repo! The Genetic Opera, as well as some minor characters from the TV show Greek.
    • Pairing: Fyier (the vampire protagonist)/Hermione Granger, Fyier/Blind Mag. Possible Author Avatar. Minor pairings of Fyier/Bellatrix LeStrange, Fyier/Crabbe, Fyier/a zombie doppelganger, Hermione/Snape, McGonagall/Snape.
    • Synopsis: It's similar to My Immortal, except with a male "vampire"... Meet Fyier Bitter Psychotic Valentine Beyond. Follow the romantic misadventures of an idiot teenage vampire as he woos Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter) and Blind Mag (from Repo) simultaneously in a constant back-and-forth that rivals even the cheeziest Soap Opera Love Triangle. It gives the reader brain whiplash because the protagonist and his current girlfriend will break up and reunite every few chapters after he dates and breaks up with the other girl. They're also students at a school of "magical and mystery" fighting the Dark Lord Voldermort and his evil minions—but that's an afterthought. No, the main story is about sex, parties, betrayal, pregnancy, amnesia, breaking up, suicide, murder, body piercing, disabilities, violence, cat-fights, sword-fights, and enough drama to satisfy any drama-fetishist. Also some random homophobia.
    • Comments: Harry Potter is portrayed as a mute thug and is later confined to a wheelchair. Hermione has rampant-bitch syndrome. Blind Mag has come down with MarySueitis. Ron Weasley is a sneering trouble-maker. Voldemort is a cackling goon who's killed off-screen. The protagonist alternates between huge idiot and amiable serial killer (he's a vampire, remember).
      • Now you may be thinking this sounds like "Harry Potter by Quentin Tarantino", but it's not. The story is RIFE with spelling mistakes, vocabulary mistakes, Critical Research Failure, and all-around shoddy workmanship. It's like the author was having a brain aneurism while he or she was writing. All of the sex scenes use strange word-associations (for instance, 'the box area' apparently means a 'woman's sexual organ'), and it's about as 'adult' as a pornographic magazine drawn with crayons. None of the characters' names are spelled right, and they all act like walloping idiots on speed. It's a train wreck of orphans and puppies that you can't look away from.
  • Poor Eponine (near-literal Canon Defilement, torture, Woobie abuse, pretty much every non-consensual sexual kink short of outright rape, implied incestuous rape, horrendous grammar and punctuation)
    • Fandom: Les Misérables
    • Pairings: Eponine/various henchmen (bondage); implied Eponine/Papa Thenardier
    • Synopsis: Patron-Minette is pissed that Eponine foiled their robbery at Plumet, so they sends some goons round to pick up Eponine and "punish" her. Various disgusting things ensue.
    • Comments: A Hurt/Comfort Fic is a story in which a character, often The Woobie, is put through a great trouble in order to be raised up past it and (hopefully) earn a collective D'AWWW from the audience. This fic, however, is just a "hurt" fic, written entirely for the purpose of being disgusting and selling itself purely on Bile Fascination. Essentially, it's what Crossed would be if Crossed were a Les Misérables fanfiction, except Crossed has proper grammar and punctuation.

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  1. It isn't from Naples...