The Legend of Zelda CDI Games

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Link: "Gee, it sure is BORING around here!"
King Harkinian: "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"

Link: "I just wonder what Ganon's up to!"
The opening conversation of Link: The Faces of Evil.

Mah boi! This description is what all true tropers strive for!!

A series of games based on The Legend of Zelda (as Philips didn't have the rights to the franchise name, none of them actually use the name "Legend of Zelda" anywhere) made in the early 90s, as part of Philips Electronics' deal with Nintendo's SNESCDROM. The idea fell through, but Philips had been given the right to make several games based on Nintendo characters (not their respective franchises, just the characters), in this case from Mario and Zelda. So, along with Hotel Mario, they made three games for the Philips CD-i system: Link: The Faces of Evil, Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon and Zelda's Adventure. These are not regarded as canon by Nintendo, and are ignored by the timeline inside Zelda's 25th anniversary artbook Hyrule Historia.

In the Faces of Evil, Link had to travel to the island of Koridai to liberate it from Ganon's forces; the Wand of Gamelon featured Zelda traveling to Gamelon to save her father -- King Harkinian -- and Link.

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These are the examples of evil. You must read each.

"Here's a shroud that scares the wraps off Gibdo."

  • Action Girl: Zelda in Wand of Gamelon AND Zelda's Adventure. Lampshaded in Wand of Gamelon.

"Aren't you a mite puny to go up against Ganon?"

Morshu: "You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies [sic]."
Morshu: "Sorry, Link, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little, mmmmm... richer!"
Ushrom: "Of course I'm on your side, but I still have to sell this stuff. Just pick what you want. I'll handle the rubies."

King Harkinian: "I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me."

  • And I Must Scream: The woman in Faces of Evil who is frozen. When Link thaws her, she thanks him by giving him a drink of Water of Life -- then promptly freezes again. And you can just keep rethawing (and refreezing) her whenever you want, all because the developers were too incompetent to make an unthawed field sprite.
  • Goronu threatens to do this to Link;

"I may be hideous, but after a year of being frozen, you will beg to join me!"

  • Ganon's fate in the end of Faces of Evil and Wand Of Gamelon is being trapped in a book for who knows how long.

Impa: "Oh my, it looks like everyone's being taken to Tikogi Tower!"
Mayor Kravindish: "This is illegal, you know."

Link: "That old Ganon is no match for the King!"

  • Needless to say, that old King is no match for Ganon, coupled with Onkled's betrayal.

Link: "Great, I'll grab my stuff!"
Gwonam: "There is no time, your sword is enough!"

  • Behind the Black: In Wand of Gamelon, if it wasn't for Impa telling you, you would have no idea that the mayor and the baker were being captured by Ganon's mooks because they're not shown in that cutscene.
  • Big Bad: Ganon, of course.
  • Big Eater: Right after swallowing someone:

Glutko: "Mmm... it tastes like a daira, perhaps just one more?"

Ganon: "NOOO! Not into the pit!! It burns!!!"
Ganon: "The chains! NOOO! You haven't seen the last of me!"

  • And so do lesser bosses, such as Goronu.

Goronu: You can't kill me! No! NO! NOOOOOO!
Wizzrobe: Not the disintegration spell! NOOOO!

  • Boss Dissonance: Mario-type, of an even worse magnitude than Zelda II the Adventure of Link. In Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, whereas Link and Zelda have to bust their asses to defeat the mooks, all the bosses die with one hit. Even Ganon himself -- Link must must throw the Book of Koridai at him; Zelda must use the titular wand to summon binding chains... and then the book inexplicably reappears again to seal Ganon.
  • A curious subversion is the first fight with Militron in Faces of Evil. You dare face him without a Power Sword on full health? FEEL THE FIRE OF WAR! And start that battle-screen again, avoiding the mooks who try to hurt your hearts, thus disabling shooting ability.

Gwonam: "It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon."

Impa: "The Triforce of Wisdom promises the King will safely return."

  • And he does safely return. What the Triforce failed to predict was that his safe return hinged on Zelda saving the day herself.

Militron: "Oh my goodness, this is awful!"

Goronu "Wake up, sleepy bones! Find the living and cut their vile throats!"

Ice Queen: "This shield both sword and spear deflects, but cannot stop the vilest curse. This crystal makes the shield reflect, cursing the curser with twice the curse."

Wizzrobe: "Not the disintegration spell! NOO!"

Ganon: "You dare bring light into my lair?! You must die!"

  • Iron Knuckle = Militron
  • Omfak = Lupay
  • Wizzrobe = Goronu

Fari: "Duke Onkled betrayed the King!"

  • Face Palm: Zelda does the two-handed variant in Wand of Gamelon's intro. Whether she is crying or not is left ambiguous by the artwork.
  • Faux Action Girl: Alma. She tries to stand up to Wizzrobe but fails miserably.
  • Feed It a Bomb: Dodongos.
  • Foot Focus: A barefoot Princess Zelda in the ending for Faces of Evil.
  • Full Motion Video: Zelda's Adventure with live-action video, the first two with budget animation.
  • Giant Flyer: In Zelda's Adventure, Zelda reaches the Sky Shrine on the back of a giant bird. The boss of said Shrine, Avianna, is also a giant bird.
  • Gonk: Quite a few characters.
  • Gross Up Close-Up: People have noticed that this is a very common -- and usually unnecessary -- idiosyncrasy of the cutscenes.
  • He Knows About Timed Hits:

Link: "When I'm crouching you can make me do the duck walk! Cool, huh?"

  • Hitbox Dissonance: The sword seems to have a much shorter range than its usual range.
  • Hold Your Hippogriffs: Link is "so hungry, [he] can eat an Octorok!"
  • The Hyena: A guy in one of the shops in the town of Wimbich in Zelda's Adventure.

Man: "Is a shrine a thing to be taken lightly? No! And a candle is needed to light a shrine! Hahahahahaha!"

King Harkinian: "If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link!"

Ganon: "You will DIE!"

Glutko: "Oh goodie! Mashed Link for the main course!"

Hectan: "You've killed me!!!"
Zelda: "Good!"

Link: "That old Ganon's no match for the King!"

  • Inherently Funny Words: "Dinner", "Come!", "Boi", "Glutko", "Duke Onkled"... and most of the other words spoken in the series.
  • Keet: Link, in spades. Perhaps one should be glad he is otherwise a Heroic Mime in the canonical series.
  • Large Ham: The King, Morshu, and Ganon. The latter two are voiced by the same actor.
  • Bosses too. Especially Militron.
  • Loads and Loads of Loading: In Zelda's Adventure, this happens on every screen.
  • Magic Mirror: Link gets trapped inside one of these in Wand Of Gamelon.
  • Malaproper: Philips didn't seem to realize that they're called "rupees," not "rubies."
  • Marshmallow Hell: Link endures this from a woman with red braids in Faces of Evil, when she grabs him and calls him "My hero!"
  • Medium Blending: Used in the opening of Zelda's Adventure.
  • Memetic Hand Gesture: The part where the King says "Strive FOR" and points his index finger upwards. It's known as the "Mah boi" gesture.
  • Milking the Giant Cow: The animated characters often engage in this (see above).
  • Modest Royalty: Played straight with Zelda and The King, but averted with Duke Onkled.
  • Moral Dissonance: This exchange from Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon:

Hectan: "You've killed me!"
Zelda: "Good."

Link: How about a kiss? For luck?
Zelda: You've GOT to be kidding.

Link: "How about a kiss, for luck?"
Zelda: "You've got to be kidding."

  • Almost averted by the end of Faces of Evil, when Link awakes the sleeping Zelda and they lean in for a kiss, but they get interrupted by Gwonam.

Ganon: "Join me, Link! And I will make your face the grrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!"

Morshu: Mmmmmm...richer.
Mayor Kravindish: This is illegal you know.

Iron Knuckle: "You dare defy me?! You will die!"
Zelda: "Guess again, Iron Knuckle!"

Ganon: "You dare bring light to my lair? You must die!!!"

Militron: "GO! AND! KILL!!"

Militron: "Worthless Koridian, you must be hardened with fire!"
Militron: "Feel the fire of war!"

  • Recurring Boss: You fight Goronu twice in Faces of Evil, first in the face of Goronu and later the revived Goronu in Fortress Centrum who at first appears to be a sleeping Zelda.
  • In Faces of Evil, you fight every boss twice, except for Lupay and Ganon.
  • Recursive Adaptation: Link's obsession with getting a kiss from Zelda, and the portrayal of the King of Hyrule as a maniacal fat man and having the name "Harkinian", suggest that the developers had the cartoon in mind rather than the games.
  • On a side note, this is the first game where Ganon appears not as a blue boar monster, but as a dark-green-skinned warlock with green/red/brown cape. Hello, Ocarina of Time!

King Harkinian: "Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him"
King Harkinian: "How can we help?"

Hectan: "Am I here? Or here? Or here?"

Goronu: "You can't kill me! No! No! No!"

Ipo: "Listen! Such is the power of the Prince of Darkness, that he can kill with a single look! Attacks against Ganon will prove fruitless unless Link attacks with the sacred book."

Link: "Gee, it sure is boring around here!"
King Harkinian: "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for."

  • Villainous Harlequin: Um, a freaky pig-faced Harlequin who turns citizens into Goriyas when they lose his game.

Harlequin: "Do you know what it means when you lose your last RUBY? Now you work for me!"

Ganon: "Join me, Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!"

Ganon: "Aargh! The chains! No! You haven't seen the last of me!"

Iron Knuckle: "You dare defy me? You will die!"
Ganon: "You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!"

Gwonam: "There is no time, your sword is enough"

  • World of Ham: Even shopkeepers and common townspeople deliver their lines in the most poetic possible way. One might wonder if they're this theatrical to everyone they meet.

Ganon: "In the darkest nightmare hour, when not moon nor sun had risen, I take Zelda in my power, I shall keep her in my prison."

Ganon: "The chains! NOOO! You haven't seen the last of me!"

MAH BOI, you DARE bring DINNER to all the DODONGOS in Hyrule? You must DIE! Or else you will DIE!