The Legend of Zelda CDI Games

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The Unholy Triforce

Link: "Gee, it sure is BORING around here!" King Harkinian: "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!" Link: "I just wonder what Ganon's up to!" —The opening conversation of Link: The Faces of Evil.

Mah boi! This description is what all true tropers strive for!!

A series of games based on The Legend of Zelda (as Philips didn't have the rights to the franchise name, none of them actually use the name "Legend of Zelda" anywhere) made in the early 90s, as part of Philips Electronics' deal with Nintendo's SNESCDROM. The idea fell through, but Philips had been given the right to make several games based on Nintendo characters (not their respective franchises, just the characters), in this case from Mario and Zelda. So, along with Hotel Mario, they made three games for the Philips CD-i system: Link: The Faces of Evil, Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon and Zelda's Adventure. These are not regarded as canon by Nintendo, and are ignored by the timeline inside Zelda's 25th anniversary artbook Hyrule Historia.

In the Faces of Evil, Link had to travel to the island of Koridai to liberate it from Ganon's forces; the Wand of Gamelon featured Zelda traveling to Gamelon to save her father -- King Harkinian -- and Link.

These are the examples of evil. You must read each.

• Achilles' Heel/One-Hit-Point Wonder: The cause of the bosses being so anticlimactic in the first two games.

"Here's a shroud that scares the wraps off Gibdo."

• Action Girl: Zelda in Wand of Gamelon AND Zelda's Adventure. Lampshaded in Wand of Gamelon.

"Aren't you a mite puny to go up against Ganon?"

• Adam Smith Hates Your Guts:

Morshu: "You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies [sic]." Morshu: "Sorry, Link, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little, mmmmm... richer!" Ushrom: "Of course I'm on your side, but I still have to sell this stuff. Just pick what you want. I'll handle the rubies."

• Adipose Rex: Harkinian, no doubt from all the dinner.
• All There Is to Know About "The Crying Game": When poopers still went to Quebec Gamers to obtain material to edit, the only scenes most knew about was the beginning and end. It wasn't until later when the rest of the games went memetic.
• Almost Kiss: The visuals near the end of Faces Of Evil suggest one of these between Link and Zelda. Of course, what those visuals actually intended to accomplish is unclear.
• Amplifier Artifact: Doesn't seem to work, though.

King Harkinian: "I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me."

• And I Must Scream: The woman in Faces of Evil who is frozen. When Link thaws her, she thanks him by giving him a drink of Water of Life -- then promptly freezes again. And you can just keep rethawing (and refreezing) her whenever you want. FridgeHorror much?

• Goronu threatens to do this to Link;

"I may be hideous, but after a year of being frozen, you will beg to join me!"

• Ganon's fate in the end of Faces of Evil and Wand Of Gamelon is being trapped in a book for who knows how long.

• And That's Terrible

Impa: "Oh my, it looks like everyone's being taken to Tikogi Tower!" Mayor Kravindish: "This is illegal, you know."

• Aristocrats Are Evil: Duke Onkled looks a lot... mmmm... richer than Harkinian and Zelda.
• Authority Equals Asskicking: In Wand of Gamelon...

Link: "That old Ganon is no match for the King!"

• Needless to say, that old King is no match for Ganon, coupled with Onkled's betrayal.

• Bag of Holding

Link: "Good thing I have my magic pouch. I can carry everything!" Zelda: "Luckily, my magic pouch can carry as much as you want."

• Bag of Spilling: Hand Waved.

Link: "Great, I'll grab my stuff!" Gwonam: "There is no time, your sword is enough!"

• Behind the Black: In Wand of Gamelon, if it wasn't for Impa telling you, you would have no idea that the mayor and the baker were being captured by Ganon's mooks because they're not shown in that cutscene.
• Big Bad: Ganon, of course.
• Big Eater: Right after swallowing someone:

Glutko: "Mmm... it tastes like a daira, perhaps just one more?"

• Big Good: The King.
• Big No:

Ganon: "NOOO! Not into the pit!! It burns!!!" Ganon: "The chains! NOOO! You haven't seen the last of me!"

• And so do lesser bosses, such as Goronu.

Goronu: You can't kill me! No! NO! NOOOOOO! Wizzrobe: Not the disintegration spell! NOOOO!

• Boss Dissonance: Mario-type, of an even worse magnitude than Zelda II the Adventure of Link. In Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, whereas Link and Zelda have to bust their asses to defeat the mooks, all the bosses die with one hit. Even Ganon himself -- Link must must throw the Book of Koridai at him; Zelda must use the titular wand to summon binding chains... and then the book inexplicably reappears again to seal Ganon.

• A curious subversion is the first fight with Militron in Faces of Evil. You dare face him without a Power Sword on full health? FEEL THE FIRE OF WAR! And start that battle-screen again, avoiding the mooks who try to hurt your hearts, thus disabling shooting ability.

• Boss Rush: In Zelda's Adventure.
• Breathless Non-Sequitur: "My ship sails in the morning. I wonder what's for dinner?"
• Canon Discontinuity: Nintendo officially pretends these games never existed. Nintendo Power advertised Spirit Tracks as the first time Zelda actually joins the adventure instead of waiting in the background to be rescued. Zelda was the player character in two of these games. Also, they don't appear part of the intricate timeline of the Hyrule Historia artbook.
• Canon Foreigner: Everyone except Ganon, Link, Zelda and Impa, and the King, who comes from the comics and TV series.
• Canon Immigrant: Unintentional, but lamp oil, which first appears as an item in Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon, becomes a real Zelda item in Twilight Princess. There was a lantern in A Link to the Past, but it ran on Link's magic power.
• The Chosen One:

Gwonam: "It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon."

• Crystal Ball:

Impa: "The Triforce of Wisdom promises the King will safely return."

• And he does safely return. What the Triforce failed to predict was that his safe return hinged on Zelda saving the day herself.

• Declarative Finger: King Harkinian uses this in Faces Of Evil, while saying "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!"
• Defeat by Modesty:

Militron: "Oh my goodness, this is awful!"

• Dem Bones:

Goronu "Wake up, sleepy bones! Find the living and cut their vile throats!"

• Denial of Diagonal Attack
• Department of Redundancy Department:

Ice Queen: "This shield both sword and spear deflects, but cannot stop the vilest curse. This crystal makes the shield reflect, cursing the curser with twice the curse."

• Depth Perplexion: Sometimes the perspective of the game, platforms, and the enemies make no sense.
• Deranged Animation
• Disintegrator Ray

Wizzrobe: "Not the disintegration spell! NOO!"

• Disney School of Acting and Mime
• Disproportionate Retribution

Ganon: "You dare bring light into my lair?! You must die!"

• Damsel in Distress:

Ganon: "In the darkest nightmare hour, when not moon nor sun has risen, I take Zelda in my power, I shall keep her in my prison!"

• Dude in Distress: The King and Link in Wand of Gamelon. Link gets kidnapped again in Zelda's Adventure.
• The Dragon: Hectan, and a case can be made for Duke Onkled.
• "Everybody Laughs" Ending: Wand of Gamelon.
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The King. He's only called Harkinian in the manual.
• Everything's Better with Princesses: Princess Zelda.
• Expy: Philips manages to takes this to ridiculous levels by having expies of some of the bosses in Faces of Evil appear under different names in Wand Of Gamelon:

• Iron Knuckle = Militron
• Omfak = Lupay
• Wizzrobe = Goronu

• Extreme Omnivore: Glutko in Faces of Evil. Also:

Link: "I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!" Omfak: "Whatever I see, I shall devour!"

• Face Heel Turn

Fari: "Duke Onkled betrayed the King!"

• Face Palm: Zelda does the two-handed variant in Wand of Gamelon's intro. Whether she is crying or not is left ambiguous by the artwork.
• Faux Action Girl: Alma. She tries to stand up to Wizzrobe but fails miserably.
• Feed It a Bomb: Dodongos.
• Foot Focus: A barefoot Princess Zelda in the ending for Faces of Evil.
• Full Motion Video: Zelda's Adventure with live-action video, the first two with budget animation.
• Giant Flyer: In Zelda's Adventure, Zelda reaches the Sky Shrine on the back of a giant bird. The boss of said Shrine, Avianna, is also a giant bird.
• Gonk: Quite a few characters.
• Gross Up Close-Up: People have noticed that this is a very common -- and usually unnecessary -- idiosyncrasy of the cutscenes.
• He Knows About Timed Hits:

Link: "When I'm crouching you can make me do the duck walk! Cool, huh?"

• Hitbox Dissonance: The sword seems to have a much shorter range than its usual range.
• Hold Your Hippogriffs: Link is "so hungry, [he] can eat an Octorok!"
• The Hyena: A guy in one of the shops in the town of Wimbich in Zelda's Adventure.

Man: "Is a shrine a thing to be taken lightly? No! And a candle is needed to light a shrine! Hahahahahaha!"

• If I Do Not Return:

King Harkinian: "If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link!"

• I'll Kill You!:

Ganon: "You will DIE!"

• I'm a Humanitarian:

Glutko: "Oh goodie! Mashed Link for the main course!"

• I'm Melting

Hectan: "You've killed me!!!" Zelda: "Good!"

• Informed Ability:

Link: "That old Ganon's no match for the King!"

• Inherently Funny Words: "Dinner", "Come!", "Boi", "Glutko", "Duke Onkled"... and most of the other words spoken in the series.
• Keet: Link, in spades. Perhaps one should be glad he is otherwise a Heroic Mime in the canonical series.
• Large Ham: The King, Morshu, and Ganon. The latter two are voiced by the same actor.

• Bosses too. Especially Militron.

• Loads and Loads of Loading: In Zelda's Adventure, this happens on every screen.
• Magic Mirror: Link gets trapped inside one of these in Wand Of Gamelon.
• Malaproper: Philips didn't seem to realize that they're called "rupees," not "rubies."
• Marshmallow Hell: Link endures this from a woman with red braids in Faces of Evil, when she grabs him and calls him "My hero!"
• Medium Blending: Used in the opening of Zelda's Adventure.
• Memetic Hand Gesture: The part where the King says "Strive FOR" and points his index finger upwards. It's known as the "Mah boi" gesture.
• Milking the Giant Cow: The animated characters often engage in this (see above).
• Modest Royalty: Played straight with Zelda and The King, but averted with Duke Onkled.
• Moral Dissonance: This exchange from Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon:

Hectan: "You've killed me!" Zelda: "Good."

• Motivational Kiss: Actively defied by Zelda in Faces of Evil.

Link: How about a kiss? For luck? Zelda: You've GOT to be kidding.

• Mr. Exposition: Gwonam in Faces of Evil, who shows up in every level to invite Link to "look and see" what the Monster of the Week is doing this time, and Impa in Wand of Gamelon. Gaspra, the old man who sends Zelda on her quest in Zelda's Adventure, also counts.
• NameTron: Militron.
• Never Say "Die": Averted quite often. They also say "kill" quite a few times. This was unusual for the series at the time as all Zelda materials before that had used that trope.

Ganon: "Join me, Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai... or else you will die!" Ganon: "You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!" Militron: "Now, you must die!" Militron: "Go and kill!" Lupay: "I spy with my eye someone who must die!" Iron Knuckle: "You dare defy me?! You will die!" Armos (after Iron Knuckle is defeated): "He's dead. Let's get out of here!" George the Baker: "The arpagos will die for them!" Hectan: "You've killed me!"

• Nice Hat: The King's retainer wears one in Wand of Gamelon. It's practically a pimp hat.
• Nightmare Face: ...Or else you will die!!!
• The Nineties: Most apparent in the music, from the synth quality to the style. Much more than was apparent in the canonical games.
• No Hugging, No Kissing:

Link: "How about a kiss, for luck?" Zelda: "You've got to be kidding."

• Almost averted by the end of Faces of Evil, when Link awakes the sleeping Zelda and they lean in for a kiss, but they get interrupted by Gwonam.

• Nobleman's Laugh: Non-villainous example: King Harkinian does this at the end of Gamelon, minus the hand covering his mouth.
• An Offer You Can't Refuse:

Ganon: "Join me, Link! And I will make your face the grrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!"

• Off-Model: Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon's animation.
• One-Scene Wonder: Many of the minor characters appearances.

Morshu: Mmmmmm...richer. Mayor Kravindish: This is illegal you know.

• Only Mostly Dead: You fight Goronu twice in Faces of Evil, first in the Face of Goronu and later the revived Goronu in Fortress Centrum who at first appears to be a sleeping Zelda.
• Only Six Faces: All Koridians look exactly the same.
• Perfectly Cromulent Word: "Squadala!"
• Power Fist:

"Stir the berries in the tub. Let the juices soak the glove. Let Link fight and never cower, for his glove's a glove of power."

• Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner: This exchange from Wand of Gamelon:

Iron Knuckle: "You dare defy me?! You will die!" Zelda: "Guess again, Iron Knuckle!"

• Prepare to Die:

Ganon: "You dare bring light to my lair? You must die!!!"

• Psychotic Smirk: Zelda after she kills Hectan. See Moral Dissonance. You be the judge.
• Punctuated! For! Emphasis!

Militron: "GO! AND! KILL!!"

• Pyromaniac:

Militron: "Worthless Koridian, you must be hardened with fire!" Militron: "Feel the fire of war!"

• Recurring Boss: You fight Goronu twice in Faces of Evil, first in the face of Goronu and later the revived Goronu in Fortress Centrum who at first appears to be a sleeping Zelda.

• In Faces of Evil, you fight every boss twice, except for Lupay and Ganon.

• Recursive Adaptation: Link's obsession with getting a kiss from Zelda, and the portrayal of the King of Hyrule as a maniacal fat man and having the name "Harkinian", suggest that the developers had the cartoon in mind rather than the games.

• On a side note, this is the first game where Ganon appears not as a blue boar monster, but as a dark-green-skinned warlock with green/red/brown cape. Hello, Ocarina of Time!

• Robe And Turban: Gwonam.
• Royals Who Actually Do Something: The King and Zelda. Duke Onkled does absolutely nothing though.

King Harkinian: "Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him" King Harkinian: "How can we help?"

• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After Zelda kills Iron Knuckle, one of the Armos says "He's dead. Let's get out of here."
• Sdrawkcab Name: Zelda's Adventure takes place in the totally originally-named land of Tolemac. There's also Morshu and Ushrom.
• Some Dexterity Required: Controls in this game when to use items etc. are very complex, due to the controller only having two buttons, far too little for a game like this.
• Suddenly Voiced: Link, Zelda and Ganon.
• Super Drowning Skills: Of the Bottomless Pits variety. Should Link or Zelda fall into water at any time, they will instantly die.
• Teleport Spam:

Hectan: "Am I here? Or here? Or here?"

• This Cannot Be!:

Goronu: "You can't kill me! No! No! No!"

• Throw the Book At Them: Link's method of defeating Ganon in Faces of Evil.

Ipo: "Listen! Such is the power of the Prince of Darkness, that he can kill with a single look! Attacks against Ganon will prove fruitless unless Link attacks with the sacred book."

• Tin Tyrant: Militron.
• Tome of Eldritch Lore: The book of Koridai.

"This book is made to order, but it isn't to be read. When they open up this book, they're sucked inside instead!"

• Tragic Monster: If the cutscenes are any indication, many, if not all of the monsters you fight are transformed citizens. Makes you wonder just how much "peace and harmony" will be returning to Koridai.
• Trial and Error Gameplay: Many times it's possible to get stuck.
• Unrobotic Reveal: "Oh, my goodness! This is awful!"
• Vague Age: Just how old ARE Link and Zelda anyway?
• Victory Is Boring:

Link: "Gee, it sure is boring around here!" King Harkinian: "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for."

• Villainous Harlequin: Um, a freaky pig-faced Harlequin who turns citizens into Goriyas when they lose his game.

"YOU LOSE!" Harlequin: "Do you know what it means when you lose your last RUBY? Now you work for me!"

• Villains Act, Heroes React: Link actually awaits Ganon's next disturbance of the peace.
• The Voice: In Zelda's Adventure, sometimes you will hear a voice that provides you with gameplay hints.
• We Can Rule Together

Ganon: "Join me, Link, and I will make your face the greatest in Koridai! Or else you will die!"

• We Will Meet Again

Ganon: "Aargh! The chains! No! You haven't seen the last of me!"

• Who Dares?:

Iron Knuckle: "You dare defy me? You will die!" Ganon: "You dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!"

• A Winner Is You: "I won!"
• Winter Royal Lady: The appropriately named Ice Queen.
• With This Herring:

Gwonam: "There is no time, your sword is enough"

• There is no time, your stuff is enough!
• You must come to my house to get weapons! Your sword is NOT enough!

• World of Ham: Even shopkeepers and common townspeople deliver their lines in the most poetic possible way. One might wonder if they're this theatrical to everyone they meet.

Ganon: "In the darkest nightmare hour, when not moon nor sun had risen, I take Zelda in my power, I shall keep her in my prison."

• You Haven't Seen the Last of X:

Ganon: "The chains! NOOO! You haven't seen the last of me!"

• You Just Had to Say It: Link, in Faces of Evil, remarks, "I just wonder what Ganon's up to!" Roughly a half-second later...
• You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!

---

MAH BOI, you DARE bring DINNER to all the DODONGOS in Hyrule? You must DIE! Or else you will DIE!