A Certain Magical Index/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Jump to navigation Jump to search


  • When Index's clothes explode due to Touma's hand. Made especially funny due to her very smug expression. Well, until she realizes what just happened.
  • Episode 8. This scene is paraphrased.

Touma: Stick out your tongue.
Stiyl: Um, OK. (does it)
Touma: This is for using me as bait and then leaving me to die, you son of a bitch! (uppercuts him)

  • When they are thinking of names for Misaka Imouto's cat.

Misaka Imouto: A cat named "Dog". Heh heh heh.

    • Misaka Imouto muttering about Touma, "What kind of guy throws a cat at someone?"
  • The end of episode 14. Touma wakes up in the hospital and Misaka Imouto has put his hand on her breasts.

Touma: I can't feel anything because of the anesthetic. Such Misfortune!

  • Episode 15. Touma's step sister became the Shock and Awe girl, his mom became Index, the female inn manager became one of the many Misaka clones, the male inn manager became the Playing with Fire guy. Hilarity Ensues.
    • Don't forget the U.S. president becomes Kuroko. YES WE CAN!
    • And Index becomes one of Touma's male schoolmates...who eventually ends up wearing Index's one-piece swimsuit.
    • Touma freaking out over this eventually leads to him being bound in a straight jacket and wearing a Hannibal Lector mask.
    • Not to mention before that Index and Touma accidentally watch a porno. You only see their reactions and the tail-end of the show, but its hilarious nonetheless.
    • Index claims she found a really cute hat on the beach, right before plopping a jellyfish onto Touma's face.
    • Touma runs into a girl in a bizarre outfit, and comes to the conclusion that she must be someone he knows pre-amnesia, since he apparently knows all sorts of wierdos in strange outfits.
  • This Murder Arson and Jaywalking scene after everyone gets their own "identities" back from the Freaky Friday incident from Episode 15 to 17:

Index: Touma... you strangled me...
Touma: I got a perfectly good explanation for that...
Index: You slammed a door into me!!
Touma: Hey, that wasn't me!!
Index: And then you BURIED me!!
Touma: Well, that was me...
Index: GGGGRRRRR (CHOMPS Touma)
Touma: Arrgh!! Such Misfortune!!

  • Ouma Yamisaka makes a dramatic entrance, trashing the restaurant Touma and Index were eating at. Touma angrily rants at Ouma for shredding his homework with his attack.
  • Touma's dad flirting with Oriana Thompson and Mikoto's mom. Followed by Touma's mom scaring the crap out of him with her jealousy.

Touma's mom: Touya-san, you're doing it again!

  • Episode 14 of Season II: When Touma was helping Orsola move by looking for newspapers, he finds two doors. He knows that there is a bathroom behind one of them. Straining his hearing, he identifies the shower as the one on the left, so he opens the right door. To find a naked Orsola. While decrying his fate, a nude Index appears from the left door. Both doors were bathrooms.

Touma: "THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE BATHROOM, THE LEFT SIDE IS ALSO ANOTHER BATHROOOOOOM!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! THIS IS JUST HELL WAITING FOR ME ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!! WHY ARE THERE TWO BATHROOMS IN THIS HOUSE!?!?!?"

  • Episode 15 of Season II: Touma's Imagine Breaker destroying the clothes of Agnese, Lucia, and Angeline. Angeline flipping Lucia's skirt. Touma falling on Itsuwa, with her friends yelling, "Now's your chance! Go for it!"
  • Episode 17 of Season 2, three of the Misaka Sisters realize that a fourth is not so identical upon learning she's taken up reading diet magazines and has lost weight.
  • The washing machine scene from Episode 18 of Index II. Never has failing to work a washing machine looked so Moe.
  • Episode 21 of Season 2, this scene:

Amata Kihara: That Aleister is out of this world. You claim to be a scientist, yet you reject science? What kind of scientist is that? (to his mooks) Did you guys notice the Bible has become a pop-up book? (Beat) What are you guys staring at? (turns around, sees Accelerator diving at the window) Oh Crap!

  • Episode 23 of Season 2, Tsuchimikado and Touma are discussing the impending war in Academy City, and then comes one of the funniest Mood Whiplashes ever.

[Tsuchimikado is telling Touma that this isn't his fault, that the scale of war will be different from everything else they've faced before, etc.]
Touma: "Tsuchimikado, I've made up my mind."
Tsuchimikado: "Kami-yan..."
Touma: "Yes, I'm... I'm going to start studying English!"

  • Episode 24 of Season 2, the drunk Mikoto's mom flirting with Touma and Accelerator.
  • In Volume 14, Mikoto's pissed that Touma's cell phone treated an e-mail she sent it as spam. While looking through Touma's "Recieved Mail" folder to confirm that Touma isn't lying, she learns something else: Touma has her mother's phone number! When Mikoto calls her mother (using Touma's phone!), her mother tells her that she must have been drunk that night and doesn't remember the details. Mikoto calmly hangs up, returns Touma's phone, and asks Touma the following:

Mikoto: "What the hell were you doing with my mother while she was druuuuuuuunk?!"

  • Also in Volume 14, Touma is taken by Tsuchimikado to France in order to deal with the C-Document affair. How do they get there? By taking a supersonic plane. Unfortunately in order to avoid giving away their intentions, Tsuchimikado opens the plane's luggage hatch and boots Touma out with a parachute before jumping out himself. The illustration for the scene is absolutely priceless.
  • In Volume 16, right before all the action that happened, we had a series of hilarious things going on. Ready? Here's the list.

Because of Touma, the class was about to miss lunch. The Delta Trio and Fukiyose had to run out of school to buy lunch, but it was illegal for them to do so. Being chased by a teacher, Tsuchimikado then offered Aogami Pierce as a sacrifice by using him as a step to get over the school fence!
Then Itsuwa, who was acting as Touma's bodyguard, found that he was chased by the same teacher, and immediately went to fight said teacher with her spear after mistaking him for Acqua of the Back.
Then after that, Itsuwa and Touma were walking together after school, getting all flustered. The Amakusa were stalking them, and to add some spice to their relationship, Tatemiya kicked a football that landed on Touma's head and pushed him into Itsuwa's breasts. With Mikoto watching too!
Then Itsuwa wins Index over with her cooking, and Maika was so amazed by her cooking that she THREW the dinner she cooked for Tsuchimikado in angst.
Then Itsuwa, Index and Mikoto met each other in the hot springs. Mikoto was thinking about Touma until she fainted from heatstroke.

  • At the end of volume 16, Kanzaki Kaori in a "ero fallen angel outfit".
  • In Volume 17, Index is amazed at how warm the and comfy the kotatsu is and sticks her head under for a peek. Just as she does this Touma farts inside of it. Needless to say Index was not amused.
  • In Volume 17, Tatemiya plays a prank on Itsuwa's crush on Touma, only to be rewarded with a tea table in the face.
  • In Volume 17, Touma pays a visit to England for a strategy meeting with the Queen of England. While being toured around the castle, the second princess, Carissa, notices that Touma is fooling around with his phone and asks for a photo. Soon, the two other princesses notice and try to join in, but are cut off by Queen Elizard:

Queen Elizard: "What do you think you're doing?"
(the Knight Leader and Kanzaki nod in agreement)
Queen Elizard: "This is England, the nation of the Queen! Why are you taking pictures leaving out the leading part?!"
Knight Leader: "Ah, you fool! Don't show off your unrestrained love of festivities in front of someone from another country!! This is a strategy meeting!!"
(the queen rushes over to Touma, but the Knight Leader tackles her.)
(Touma takes a picture with Carissa and her sisters, at their insistence)
Queen Elizard: (shocked) “Ah! You took it!! You really took it without me!! You can redo it! How about you take another one with me in it!?”

  • In Volume 18, Agnese hits one of the knights with a Groin Attack.
    • What was even funnier was the dominatrix mode she went into on the knight after said attack. Heck, she even threatened that she would shove her staff up his ass, for crying out loud!
  • New Testament Volume 1: Touma makes his triumphant return, saving Shiage, Accelerator, and Fremea. His awesome return is cut short when Levinia Birdway out of nowhere kicks him in the nuts.
  • New Testament Volume 2: Shiage gets Touma drunk. Hilarity Ensues.
    • The drunken Touma managing to accumulate a large number of girls on his way home. From the descriptions you can work out that these girls are Himegami Aisa, Tsukuyomi Komoe, Fukiyose Seiri, Musujime Awaki, Kazakiri Hyouka and Kumokawa Seiria. And in every case the text, which is from Mikoto's perspective, mentions how big their breasts are.
    • Kuroyoru Umidoru goes on a rant about Touma taking villains too lightly and fires a Bomber Lance at Touma when she tries to escape. His response, which completely undermined her very belief and existence, before moving past the subject: "Yes, yes, and here’s Imagine Breaker.”
    • The entire volume is one long string of funny moments interspaced with exposition and the occasional serious note. Drunken Touma calling Mikoto Miko-chan, drunken Touma collecting about a dozen girls as he stumbles home, inciting the awe of Shiage, and the admiration of Accelerator for being able to balance both a normal life and a life of fighting. The above bit with Umidoru, compounded by Touma asking her if she has cat-ears and Misaka Worst finding some and threatening to put them on her. Last Order and Worst in sync upon feeling as though their place by Accelerator is being threatened by Fremea. The members of ITEM meeting Fremea. Birdway arguing with Fremea, and finally Lessar's reaction to finding out Touma has returned to Academy City.
  • New Testament Vol 3 continues to incite laughter, Worst teasing Umidoru so much she breaks down and starts to cry.
    • Worst continues her trend of trolling everybody when she meets Mikoto, first attacking her for her borderline stalker tendancies (buying a couples pair ring when they aren't even going out) and then moving on to attack her true weakness.

Worst: What’s the point of an original if she loses to the clone in so many ways?
Mikoto: …Are you talking about breast size…?

Worst: Oh, Misaka never said that. Maybe she was talking about number of appearances.

Mikoto: Now you’ve said it!

    • Mikoto gets love advice from the president and a little girl (the 8 year old parroting something he'd told her before). The little girl tells her to take off her bra in front of Touma and embrace him before he has a chance to react, while the president tells her to embrace him while wearing a string bikini and then untie it to send the message across. Bonus points for doing it nearby a Love Hotel. Mikoto's reaction is to threaten to smack Robert Katze.
  • Even New Testament Volume 4 has some moments of levity.
    • Touma is introduced having accidentally walked in on Saflee while she was changing and being beaten up as a result. He spends the first part of the scene lying on the floor and having difficulty speaking properly.
    • Maria makes her entrance by beating up Shuri's opponent, eventually bringing him to the ground while sitting on his face.
    • To get rid of any pheromones that may have been left on her clothing, Maria takes off her maid uniform and sterilizes it with a blowdryer - forcing herself to endure the freezing cold temporarily. When she puts it back on, she finds it too hot, made worse by her previous exposure to the cold.
  • New Testament Volume 5:
    • The volume begins with Touma meeting Index, who's angry at him being gone so long with no explanation. She then demands to know why he's carrying a strange girl on his back.
    • Immediately afterwards, there's a scene in which Fremea is restrained and surrounded by strange people. The narration goes out of its way to describe their tools as horrific and to paint them in the worst light possible. Then it's revealed that they're dentists, and Fremea was dragged there to treat her cavities.
    • After buying lunches for his classmates, Touma runs across Ollerus. Ollerus wants to tell him a lot of important information, including his thoughts on the true nature of Imagine Breaker. After a moment's thought, Touma decides that delivering the lunches is more important and runs off, leaving Ollerus flustered. In the very next scene, Ollerus has cornered Touma in the school gym to finish their conversation. Touma asks if he wants to confess his love or to have a fight, and hopes that it's the latter.
    • Umidori is a hardened member of Academy City's dark side, capable of killing without a thought. But she is absolutely terrified of the dentist, just like any child her age. For extra hilarity, she's dragged there by Saiai on Shiage's orders, as Shiage sees her as a comrade and is genuinely concerned for her health. This last part bothers both Umidori and Saiai.
    • Touma runs into Mikoto, but he thinks that it's a disguised Thor playing tricks on him again. He proceeds to casually touch Mikoto's chest, trying to negate the effect, even using an abbreviated version of his catchphrase as he does so. He then walks off, while Mikoto is too stunned to react.
  • New Testament Volume 6:
    • Silvia's teasing of Leivinia. A notable example is when she speculates that Leivinia sees Touma as an ideal older brother, due to lacking a real one. This makes Leivinia threaten to use her full power to kill Silvia.
    • Thor uses a surefire method of getting Mikoto to work with him: he tells her that Touma is being taken care of by a mysterious blonde girl. This is actually true, and he even has a picture to prove it, though it's Not What It Looks Like - Cendrillon is giving Touma first aid so he can help her with her revenge.
  • New Testament Volume 7:
    • Touma wakes up in a strange, dark and cramped room. He receives a call from Motoharu, who informs him of a dangerous magical artifact that's been brought into the all-girls location of the School Garden. He wonders how they can do anything about it, which causes the "room" (actually a cardboard box) to open, revealing that he's been smuggled into a locker room in the School Garden, and that he's currently surrounded by girls changing.
    • Mikoto and Misaki are both looking for Touma, and the latter proposes that whoever finds him first gets to do whatever she wants. This naturally leaves Mikoto flustered.
  • New Testament Volume 8:
    • Touma wakes up to find Lessar and Leivinia sleeping on either side of him. He goes to great lengths to get up without waking either of them, fearing retribution from them and from Index. When they end up waking anyway due to a loud sound from outside, they're exhausted and can't be bothered doing anything. When Index knocks on the door, Touma (in his haste to respond) hits it strongly, causing the door and the wall around it to fall down. It turns out that the two magicians had cut a hole in the wall to get into the bathroom... and Index ends up biting Touma anyway.
    • The meeting between the world leaders has them (and their subordinates) behave in their usual manner. Roberto openly reads a porn magazine, hits on Roseline (causing her to just-as-openly kick him) and asks Elizard to introduce him to Carissa. Elizard responds to this by telling him to sit in the corner and use his right hand. Vasilisa is delighted with the opportunity to get access to all sorts of gory American games.
    • While they're waiting, Lessar and Leivinia decide to shop for swimsuits, to the horror of Touma. This leads to: Leivinia trying to get her subordinates to vote for her (to decide what shop they'll go to) only to be universally rejected; Mikoto buying a seemingly-normal swimsuit that, when jostled, loses fabric to become a much skimpier one; Lessar trying to force Touma into picking between two skimpy swimsuits only for him to Take a Third Option; and the other girls walking in one Touma holding the swimsuits and thinking he wants to wear them himself.
  • New Testament Volume 9: Even a volume where the villain has won and is twisting the world to their liking has some funny moments. In the "Beta World", Touma is thrown into the ceiling with enough force that he hangs there by his neck, Index gets an irresistible craving for Oden, and then Touma finds himself under the skirts of two different girls in quick succession.
  • New Testament Volume 10:
    • Immediately after Touma declares that he'll take on the world to save Othinus, she asks him how, exactly, he plans on doing this. He concedes that he has absolutely no idea, causing her to beat him up.
    • Throughout the volume, Touma is constantly concerned about the state of his finances, and complains about the exchange rate between the Japanese yen and the Danish krone.
    • While plummeting through the sky, Kaori makes preparations to slow her and Touma's fall. Touma tries to get in a comfortable position, only to end up in several compromising ones.
    • To stop Index from assisting Leivinia, Touma attempts to cover her mouth. However, Index tries to dodge, causing him to end up fondling her instead. This actually also works, albeit by causing her to bite him instead.
  • New Testament Volume 11:
    • Touma and Misaki's first real meeting. Because the latter is lying down with her legs sprawled out, Touma's able to see up her skirt and outright says so. When she immediately tries to erase his memories of this, he happens to touch his head with his right hand and restore them, causing Misaki to erase them again.This happens several times. Though the scene becomes less funny later on, where it's revealed that Touma came there to mourn for not being able to stop Ayu's (attempted) suicide.
    • The past Misaki's constant attempts at acting like a mature lady, partly to cover up her complete inability to swim.
    • Misaki and Seria acting as Sitcom Arch Nemeses. Misaki calls Seria an old hag, while Seria criticizes Misaki for her dependence on her esper ability.
  • New Testament Volume 12:
    • Othinus, the former god who struck fear into the hearts of the entire world, is now at the mercy of a cute kitten who treats her as a literal Chew Toy. Neither Touma nor Index care, seeing it as harmless playing.
    • Shinka's attempts at using the #6 Level 5's name to get what he wants.
      • He runs into a girl and claims that he's Etsu Aihana, only for the girl to do the exact same thing, at the same time. Both of them run away, complaining that the real Etsu needs to protect their identity better.
      • He tries this on Stephanie, only for Stephanie to show no fear and intimidate him into fleeing instead.
      • When he does this to Touma, Touma is completely unfazed and casually asks if Shinka knows Accelerator or Mikoto. When you've defeated the strongest Level 5 three times, fought alongside five Level 5s, and (unknowingly) have two Level 5s in love with you, running into another one is just an everyday occurrence.
    • When Touma introduces himself to Shinka, Shinka is absolutely terrified. Apparently, rumors about Touma have reached the point that he's seen as someone who can defeat anyone in a single punch and seduce any girl he comes across (only a slight exaggeration of the truth). Touma is absolutely mortified when he hears about his reputation.
  • New Testament Volume 13:
    • The schools of Academy City are holding a crime-awareness event in which everyone role-plays as a criminal, hostage or police officer. The Delta Trio are attacked by a menacing Seiri, forcing Touma to leave the building and move along the wall. Mikoto arrives at their high school (having won the right to do so by cheating in a match with Misaki), only to find Touma (dressed as a stereotypical pervert) apparently trying to break into a window. She fires a Railgun at him, only for Seria to pull him up out of the way.
    • Touma finds what looks like a love letter in his locker, and is overjoyed at someone "finally" being interested in him. He rejoices loudly, while Seria is right next to him and Mikoto is just around the corner. Seria tries giving more hints about her feelings, only for Touma to still not get it, causing her and Mikoto to feel like killing him. Touma then heads to the roof, only to find the High Priest - an ancient god who looks like a mummy - waiting for him.
    • The High Priest says, in a perfectly serious tone, that the strange girl wearing a headband (who frequently appears in illustrations, despite not having a name or a role in the series) is actually the Observer. He then claims that the entire world is nothing more than a story in the Observer's mind - right before admitting that he's screwing with Touma.
  • New Testament Volume 14:
    • A Running Gag is Touma and co. trying to have dinner, only for their plans to be foiled at every turn. Touma first buys groceries from a nearby store, but is forced to abandon them after encountering Kakeru. While he finds the bags again, a stray cat has stolen the food, and he can't bring himself to do anything about it as the cat has kittens to feed. Towards the end, they're driven to considering the remnants of Sample Shoggoth and the Princess Animal Skin as ingredients.
    • Kakeru tries to focus on the issue at hand, only for his harem to keep bringing up other things like bathing, eating and sleeping first. Kakeru being Kakeru, they end up doing all of this before helping Patricia with her parasite.
  • New Testament Volume 15:
    • The Delta Trio's expectations of what the school they're temporarily merging with will be like. They think that they'll all be snobbish intellectuals who'll look down on their school for having poorer grades, but they end up being perfectly normal students. Touma thinks that the student council president will be a mature and beautiful upperclassman, only to run into Asuka.
    • Othinus sits openly on Touma's shoulder, causing his teacher and classmates to think he's carrying around a skimpily-dressed doll and having it "talk" by ventriloquism. Touma even claims that there's a dozen or so novels explaining the situation.
    • Touma meets Kakeru again, as he's transferred into the same school. They butt heads over trivial issues, like who's better at making a lunch on a limited budget, or objecting to being considered problem students because it implies that they're similar. Possibly the funniest, though, is Touma's resentment of Kakeru for having over a hundred girls interested in him. Touma literally has a hundred times as many girls interested in him, making this Hypocritical Humor of the highest order.
    • Asuka's efforts at getting the toy she wants out of a crane game. Eventually, she does manage to move the desired toy into the chute - along with a heap of other toys. Said toys are all based on things not suited for kids, and no one wants to take them away. Eventually, Touma does take them - as literal chew toys for Sphinx, to distract it from hunting Othinus.
    • Salome has spent most of the volume as The Dreaded, with even her own allies in the Kamisato Faction treating her as dangerous and unpredictable. Then Touma asks who Kakeru is to her, and the mass-murderer turns into a blushing schoolgirl who's unwilling to admit her crush.
  • New Testament Volume 16:
    • When Touma is in Tokiwadai, pretty much everyone who isn't Mikoto, Kuroko or Misaki is caught completely off-guard by the presence of a guy. They seem to see him as some sort of rare animal, even competing over trying to touch him.
    • Kuroko gets heatstroke due to getting herself worked up in a small room. Touma princess-carries her to get her first aid, shocking Mikoto.
  • New Testament Volume 17:
    • Fran's obsession with the mascot Bunny Grey. When Touma puts on a Bunny Grey costume to disguise himself, Fran clings to him for several moments before getting a hold of herself.
    • Luca abuses her age-shifting by pretending to be a child so she can scam food from others.
  • New Testament Volume 18:
    • Touma and Index come home, expecting to finally catch a break from the previous ordeal... only to run into Motoharu and Fran, who are planning on using him as a means of escaping Academy City. It's explicitly stated, both at the beginning of this volume and the end of the previous one, that this happens exactly 5 seconds after they arrive home.
    • Many aspects of Aleister's backstory. Just like the real-life Aleister Crowley, he often engaged in behavior that would be shocking even by today's standards. Examples include: writing erotica using over a hundred different euphemisms for "penis", writing his colleagues into his plays as characters, and wearing - to a social gathering - a butterfly decoration meant to hide the crotches of male sculptures.