Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried

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Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried: My Life As a Revolting Cock

Written by:	Chris Connelly
Central Theme:
Synopsis:
Genre(s):	Autobiography
First published:	2007

"It's a Revco World, today." —Linger Ficken' Good

Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried: My Life As a Revolting Cock is, well, Chris Connelly's memoir of his time as a member of the Revolting Cocks in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

The book begins in 1985, when Connelly is first introduced to Al Jourgensen of Ministry and is invited to join the Revolting Cocks. Much hilarity and intoxication ensue.

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Tropes used in Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried include:

• Affectionate Nickname: Grumpy and Party, for Richard H. Kirk and Stephen Mallinder, respectively.
  • Chris is dubbed "Pinky" by Al because of the way his face turns pink when he laughs too hard.
• All Drummers Are Animals: Averted -- Bill Rieflin is actually one of the saner Cocks and as belligerent as Martin Atkins gets, he doesn't fit the stereotype, either.
• All There in the Manual: Working knowledge of Post Punk, Industrial and Industrial Metal musicians is pretty much required reading for this book to make any sense. And even that might not be enough.
• The Alleged Car: Paul Barker's van, Icky.
• All-Star Cast: Look at how many people were members of Pigface!
• Bad Boss: Al can be a big one, at times.
• Bald of Awesome: En Esch
• Beleaguered Assistants: Barker and Rieflin, in addition to their status as the Only Sane Men.
  • At one point, Sean Joyce becomes one to Martin Atkins.
• Bittersweet Ending: Moreso than a Downer Ending because of the tiny Hope Spot.
• Boisterous Bruiser: Al Jourgensen, most prominently, who is also most definitely Hot-Blooded.
• Brutal Honesty: Steve Albini's specialty.
• Bullying a Dragon: Phildo Owen's decision to provoke truckers over the CB radio.
• Cerebus Syndrome: About halfway through the book, this kicks-in as drug addiction and personality conflicts start to drive everyone apart. It reaches an apex around 1993, around the time that Jeff Ward killed himself.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Too many to name.
• The Comically Serious: Richard "23" Jonckheere, by virtue of his Small Name, Big Ego behavior.
• Deadpan Snarker: Steve Albini, though Connelly is quite the Deadpan Snarker himself.
• Disgusting Public Toilet: It wouldn't be a road story without one.
• The Ditz: Terry Bones and most of Phildo's friends.

"[He was] perhaps one rung up the genetic ladder from a garden fence."

• Driven to Suicide: Jeff Ward and William Tucker, as well as one of Chris' girlfriends, Tracey.
• Eagle Land: Connelly is from Scotland and his portrayal of the United States falls into Type III.
• Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: It would probably be easier to list the people who aren't Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunettes.
• The Eighties: Setting of 1/3 of the book
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The female bassist on the first Pigface tour is simply known as "the female bass player."
• Five-Man Band: For the bulk of the book...
  • The Hero: Al Jourgensen
  • The Lancers: Luc van Acker, Paul Barker
  • The Smart Guys: Martin Atkins, Bill Rieflin
  • The Big Guys: Phildo Owen, Mike Scaccia, Jeff Ward
  • The Chicks: Chris Connelly, William Tucker
  • Sixth Rangers: Nivek Ogre, Trent Reznor
  • Sixth Ranger Traitor: Richard 23
  • Team Mom: Patti Jourgensen, Jim Nash
  • Tagalong Kid: Adrian Jourgensen
• Four-Temperament Ensemble: Al is Choleric, Paul is Sanguine, Bill is Melancholic, Chris is Phlegmatic.
• Freudian Trio: Al is The McCoy, Paul is The Kirk, Bill is The Spock.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: The female bassist on the first Pigface tour.
  • Also, Terry Bones for being a mediocre musician, breaking the shower in the bus, nearly getting everyone arrested and picking fights with other band members for no particular reason.
• Funetik Aksent:

"We had no toime to seenk about it!!!" "VOT EES THEES I AM HEARIIIING??!!!!" Sascha roared down the length of the bus.

• Gender Blender Name: Mary Byker
• Going Cold Turkey: Averted-- Al apparently tries once, and it doesn't work out so well. Justified, as he was withdrawing from heroin.
• Gonzo Journalism: Possibly unintentional, but yes.
• Goth: Quite a few of them, both of the Perky and Gloomy variety.
• Hero of Another Story: Nivek Ogre, Jello Biafra and Trent Reznor are the most obvious examples, though the same could be said for pretty much everyone in the book.
• Heroes Want Redheads: Patti Jourgensen is a redhead.
• Industrial Metal: Duh.
• Intrepid Reporter: Jason Pettigrew of the Alternative Press.
• Is It Always Like This?: There's no better example than Chris' second visit to the United States, when he comes in to find Al wearing a Viking helmet, sitting on a rowing machine and cussing someone out over the phone.
• Jerkass: Let's just say there's a lot of them and leave it at that.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Steve Albini and Martin Atkins, though they'd both probably resent not being given full Jerkass status.
• Large Ham: Al, both off and onstage.
• Lead Bassist: Paul Barker, being the only other official member of Ministry.
• Loads and Loads of Characters
• Man Child: Many, with Al being the king of it.
• Mood Whiplash
• Mushroom Samba:

The actual toilet bowel had turned into a huge shiny white snapping horse's head with angry black eyes.

• The Nineties: The setting of the rest of the book
• The Not Love Interest: Chris' romantic relationships always take a backseat to his friendship with William Tucker. He describes their first meeting as Love At First Sight and the book ends not long after Tucker's suicide.
• One of Us: The references to He Man and The Masters of The Universe, David Lynch, Mystery Science Theater 3000, This Is Spinal Tap and Doctor Who are proof-positive.
• One Steve Limit: Averted-- there are at least two Williams (Rieflin and Tucker); two Jims (Thirlwell and Nash); two Pauls (Barker and Raven); three Chrises (Bruce, Connelly and Vrenna) and three Michaels (Balch, Scaccia, and World)
• Only Known by Their Nickname: The engineers, Poodle, Princess and Fluffy; a set designer, Angry Baby; one of Chris' girlfriends, Vogue...
• Only Sane Men: Bill Rieflin, Luc van Acker and Paul Barker
• Pointy-Haired Boss: Far too many of the various tour managers.
• Promoted Fanboy: Trent Reznor
• Ragtag Bunch of Misfits
• Sarcastic Devotee: Steve Albini to Martin Atkins and Bill Rieflin, after the founding of Pigface.
• Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll: Goes without saying
• Shaggy Dog Story: Many
• Smug Snake: Richard 23 is probably the biggest.
• The Stoner / Erudite Stoner: Pretty much everyone is one or the other.
• Take That: Too many to list.
• Take That Me: For every potshot against others, Connelly has two or three for himself.
• Talker and Doer: Jim Nash and Dannie Flesher, the co-founders of the WaxTrax label, respectively.
• This Is Going to Be Huge: Al's predictions for the Revolting Cocks and/or Ministry's success never materialize.
• Those Two Guys: Frankie Nardiello and Marston Daley, as well as the two crew members Connelly refers to as "the Poodle and the Princess."
• Through the Eyes of Madness
• To Absent Friends: Postscripts 2 and 3
• Token Evil Teammate: Terry Bones, especially after the incident with a fan who presses assault charges against him.
• Tragic Bromance: Connelly's relationship with William Tucker. So very much.
• Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Terry Bones and his wife
• Verbal Tic: Al uses "man" so often it slides into this trope.
• Violent Glaswegian: Averted, though that might be because Connelly is actually from Edinburgh.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Al and almost all of his collaborators. Oddly, his relationships with his Yes Men are entirely Type I. Type II is reserved solely for the non-doormats in his life.
  • Martin Atkins is also very much the Vitriolic Best Bud of the other members of Pigface.
• Wacky Fratboy Hijinx
• White-Haired Pretty Boy: Bill Rieflin
• The Windy City: Home of WaxTrax
• Yaoi Guys: Jim and Dannie. Both were pretty much Invisible to Gaydar.
• Yes-Man: Al has quite a few throughout the book, who live to take his abuse. Phildo Owen gets the most page time out of them.