You Don't Know Jack

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
If you're good at other trivia games, it don't mean Jack now.

"Ok, we're on in five seconds, folks!" "Hey, will someone tell the reader what's goin' on here?"

Hey, it's the computer game where high culture and pop culture collide! You Don't Know Jack is the sassy PC game that was developed by Jellyvision Studios, starting in the mid-1990s. The hilarious combination of pop culture references with strange academic references made for a great combination, and the games were marginally popular for a while. Each game usually consisted of a number of questions.

In most games, players got to choose the category they wanted, but in The Ride, Abwärts!, 5th Dementia, Mock 2, and 2011, an "episode" of preselected questions was chosen at random instead. Some of these categories would lead to specialty questions such as:

  • Gibberish Question: The player would have to rhyme the nonsense phrase with a popular catch phrase, or even a nursery rhyme. The prize money starts big and gradually decreases as time passes, with up to three hints being revealed as the winnings tick down to zero.
  • Anagram Question: Same as the "Gibberish Question" but with unscrambling.
  • Fill in the Blank: Type in the answer instead of choosing from four choices.
  • Whatshisname Question: Similar to a "Fill in the Blank" but with clues to what the host is thinking about.
  • Impossible Question: The make or break question that's worth the most money ($20,000 in US Volume 3, €10,000 in German Volume 2, and $26,606.06 in The Lost Gold).
  • Dis or Dat: The host would give you a list of seven things, and you would decide which of two categories (or sometimes both) the object would fall into, such as "blaxploitation movie or brand of white bread".
  • Three-Way: Kind of like "Dis or Dat", but with three separate items, and each player gets a chance.
  • Wendithap'n: Decide whether each event named happened before or after a certain event, or if it never happened at all.
  • Coinkydink (Also known as Roadkill): Find the clue that links two given clues together... and then for a bonus, find out what all the answers have in common.
  • Jack BINGO: Find the word that starts with the correct letter... and for a bonus collect all five letters.
  • Fiber-Optic Field Trip: This category involved a randomly selected "caller" (prerecorded phone conversations) who would be asked to make a category based on their expertise.
  • Celebrity Collect Call: Just like a "Fiber-Optic Field Trip", but with famous people.
  • Guest Host: Someone else hosts for a question.
  • Pissed About A Question: A special kind of Sequel Question where a question is countered from a complaint a player sent in.
  • Super Audio Question: A audio clip is played as a clue for a question that follows.
  • Picture Question: Visual aid is supplied for this question.
  • Bug Out!: This Odd-Man-Out Like Subgame Involved to squash the bug that does not belong with a certain group.

2011 also had a few specialty questions including:

  • Who's the Dummy?: Cookie would ask the question while practicing ventriloquism. Unfortunately, Cookie struggles with his "B"'s, "P"'s and "M"'s, forcing the player to pay special attention to the words.
  • Funky Trash: Three random items are listed and the player has to identify the actor, celebrity, or character that these items would be associated with.
  • Nocturnal Admissions with Cookie Masterson: Players would have to identify a movie based on a bizarre dream being described that shares a similar plot.
  • Cookie's Fortune Cookie Fortunes with Cookie "Fortune Cookie" Masterson: A normal question based on the vague advice found in a fortune cookie.
  • Order Question (Or as the name suggests "It's The Put The Choices Into Order Then Buzz In And See If You Are Right...Question!"): Up to four items are given and the bonus for getting is right is $1,000.

A new specialty question implemented in the relatively new Facebook game:

Once per round/game, each player could use a "screw" to force an opponent to answer the question in play. This move could backfire, though; if the screwed player answered correctly, the one doing the screwing lost the value of the question.

The final question would often be the Jack Attack. A word appears in the center of the screen with out words flashing by, and the players must buzz in when the words match as according to the given clue. Taking too long to find the right one results in the word vanishing and a new one appearing, and often the words flashing by would fit the center word, but not in the manner of the clue (Example: "Shake" could go with "Your Booty" or "And Bake", but if the clue was "Cooking", the former would be incorrect).

Carsey-Werner attempted a game show, with Paul Reubens as host. It lasted six episodes on ABC and was quickly replaced. The computer games still exist, however. THQ produced a revival for all three major consoles and the Nintendo DS on February 8, 2011.

Now has a Character Page.

Games in the series:

  • You Don't Know Jack
    • You Don't Know Jack Question Pack
  • You Don't Know Jack Sports
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 2
    • You Don't Know Jack (French and British)
    • You Don't Know Jack (German)
  • You Don't Know Jack Netshow
  • You Don't Know Jack Movies
  • You Don't Know Jack Sports Netshow
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 3
    • You Don't Know Jack Volume 2 (German)
  • You Don't Know Jack TV
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 4 The Ride
    • You Don't Know Jack Volume 3 Abwärts! (German)
  • Headrush
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 5 Offline
  • You Don't Know Jack (PlayStation)
  • You Don't Know Jack Louder! Faster! Funnier!
  • You Don't Know Jack 5th Dementia
  • You Don't Know Jack Mock 2
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 6 The Lost Gold
  • You Don't Know Jack Volume 4 (German)
  • You Don't Know Jack (Flash Version)
  • You Don't Know Jack 2011
  • You Don't Know Jack (IOS)
  • You Don't Know Jack for Facebook.

Not to be confused with the HBO direct-to-TV movie You Don't Know Jack, which is about a doctor and has decidedly less trivia.


Game Show Tropes in effect:
  • The Announcer: Has one in every game except Head Rush
  • Bonus Round: The Jack Attack.
  • Double the Dollars: In the second round in most games except The Ride and Head Rush and in Questions 8 through 14 in Netshow and Louder! Faster! Funnier! but in questions 1 through 6 in The Lost Gold and German Volume 4 all question values are doubled (Meaning that standard multiple choice and fill in the blank questions are worth $2000, $4000, and $6000, Gibberish/Anagram questions are worth $10,000, and each correct and/or incorrect answer in a Dis or dat and Wann War Was (In German Volume 4) are worth $1000) and in 2011 Question values are worth as much as $4,000.
  • Game Show Host: Oh, where to start!
  • Golden Snitch: The Jack Attack is generally the game decider.
    • In the 2011 release, the Wrong Answer of the Game is worth twice as much as the maximum value of a question in that round. If it comes up in round 2, that means it's worth $8,000 - more than enough to close just about any gap.
  • Home Game: Inverted in that the games came before the TV show (However it was not featured as one of the consolation prizes in the TV Show).
  • Promotional Consideration: "Commercials" play at the end of each game, plus a special "Sponsor" for each floor in The Ride and each episode in 2011.
  • Rules Spiel
  • Speed Round: "Dis Or Dat", "Three-Way", and "Whendithap'n"
  • Unexpectedly Obscure Answer: The Impossible Questions, introduced in Volume 3 and continued in The Lost Gold (But the impossible questions in The Lost Gold are Pirate themed questions and each time you get to one the set up music would be that creepy muzac playing in the background and a Pirate would be heard, and Schmitty gets scared on most of the questions).
  • Who Wants to Be Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?: Gloriously averted on the TV show.

Other tropes in effect:
  • Acid Reflux Nightmare: The "Nocturnal Admissions" questions in 2011 revolve around Cookie having weird dreams from watching movies and eating junk food before bed.
  • All There Is to Know About "The Crying Game": One of the commercials is for "Movie Ending Phone", a hotline that tells you the endings to various films. The endings to The Usual Suspects, Se7en, Fargo, Primal Fear, The Empire Strikes Back, and Scream are casually spoiled.
    • Among others. Citizen Kane and Thelma and Louise are two others. The ad does have the courtesy of not explicitly mentioning which movies they're for, though.
  • Angrish: In TV, typing "fuck you" three times during Gibberish Question causes Schmitty to get angrier and angrier until he starts spouting angrish.
  • Ascended Extra: Cookie was just the sign-in guy for the first 3 games, but from Movies onward he became the most popular host.
  • Ass Shove: The "Sunshine Suppositories" ad.
  • Bait and Switch: Buzz's cameo in The Ride. It looks like he's going to host an episode... then Cookie drops him down a trapdoor straight to the Bottom.
  • Big No: Heard in the "Buzz-Kill Bee Trimmer" commercial in 2011
    • Also Cookie's appropriate reaction after he was told that Donny was writing the Jack Attack in episode 47.
  • Bilingual Bonus
  • Brick Joke: Going after the Wrong Answer of the Game in 2011 requires the players to remember the subject matter of the "sponsor" long after it has become irrelevant.
    • The sequel questions in most games.
    • In 2011 Cookie opens one episode by mentioning a password which most would view as a throwaway gag. The next to last question asks you what the password is. After the question is over Cookie mentions another password that he suggests might be the answer to a future installment of the series.
  • But Thou Must!: If a player uses a screw/nail to force another player to answer, that is.
    • The computer can invoke this even if the other players don't with the Don't Be a Wimp. If one player is very far ahead in the game (or doing very well in single player), the announcer will mock said player for not even trying to guess, and asks the "audience" for their thoughts. "They" in return yell "Don't be a wimp!" and the player has to answer whether the player wants to or not.
  • Butt Monkey: Buzz's treatment in The Ride. Despite this the only time he ever gets a chance to host Is a guest host question near the bottom.
    • Any of Cookie's interns in 2011.
  • The Cameo: Buzz Lippman during The Ride
  • Canon Discontinuity: One question in 2011 talks about how crazy and unlikely it would be if Paul Rubens hosted You Don't Know Jack, and that it would be obviously a smash hit if it ever happened.
  • Catch Phrase: Said at the end of each episode in every game except The Ride, Abwärts!, and Head Rush.
  • Character Blog: Cookie Masterson has a Facebook account.
  • Cheaters Never Prosper: The game actually enforces waiting until everyone has at least had a chance to see the question and the four offered answers (particularly as the standard video game quiz problem of repeat questions is still in effect). Anyone who rings in early will be forced to type in the answer without any given choices -- or any given question, for that matter. However, on The Ride, the player who buzzes in early instead has to choose between four blatantly wrong answers with screws inactive (which can also mess up people trying to use the screw/nail).
    • How wrong are those answers? Unless you think, "Pecos" Bill Clinton, or "Luke, I am your step-aunt" are answers to anything....
  • Chew Bubblegum: Cookie uses this line during the intro to episode 7 of 2011.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Nate gets away with shooting these in some versions of Volume 1.
  • Compilation Rerelease: No fewer than 14 sets.
    • Offline, the Playstation One release (Which has questions from Movies Volume 3 and Offline), Louder! Faster! Funnier!, and Mock 2 (Which combines questions asked from Schmitty's part of The Ride (with a few Roadkill questions from Cookie's part) and questions from Louder! Faster! Funnier!).
    • The Second DLC Pack In 2011
      • Special mention goes to the IOS version of the game which uses most of the questions from the Flash version and the DLC Packs in 2011.
  • Cosmetic Award: Achievements/Trophies in 2011
  • Cosmic Deadline: Hilariously invoked in the "Lawn Wax" episode of 2011. Each question after the sixth one is less prepared than the last, culminating in a Jack Attack that starts with the normally-ominous-at-this-point host desperately trying to call it off, and for good reason.
  • Cute Kitten: In 2011's Nocturnal Admissions questions, Cookie's dreams give the roles of various movie characters to his mother (Represented by a ball of yarn with a face) and his two cats, Poopsie and Mayonnaise.
  • Darker and Edgier: Oddly enough for a quiz show, the 4th volume in the U.S. called The Ride and the 3rd German Volume called Abwärts! were these. For reasons still not known, the two different international editions completely changed the mood of the series. The setting of the game went from a stereotypical game show to a dark, industrial complex set (presumably) underground. Much like the Net Show, each game was divided into theme episodes on different "floors", and during the course of the game it was told to you that you were getting closer to the "bottom". The best way to describe these two games (US and German) are probably Jeopardy! meets Saw.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Usually Cookie, but several hosts have their moments.
    • One easy way to invoke this out of any host is, on the naming screen, to not type anything in. They'll eventually get annoyed and come up with an insulting moniker for you.
  • Death by Racism: The "Racist Doctor" commercial in 2011.
  • Delusions of Eloquence: Donny, the sign-in host for 2011, who is also a Malaproper. In episode 47, when the writers leave the show unfinished and the rest of the staff has to improvise, Cookie reacts appropriately upon finding out that Donny's writing the Jack Attack (especially given how impossible it was to decipher the normal question the guy wrote).
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "Cookie's Fortune Cookie Fortunes with Cookie 'Fortune Cookie' Masterson" in 2011.
  • Demoted to Extra: Schmitty, who hosted TV, part of The Ride, Louder, Faster, Funnier, 5th Dementia, Mock 2, and The Lost Gold, was reduced to the announcer of each episode's Wrong Answer of the Game prize in 2011. [1]
  • The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: You get custom remarks depending on the date and time you play, and even if a given player never buzzes in. Some versions will mock your lack of social life if you're playing a one-player game on a weekend night.
    • In the 360 and PS3 versions of 2011, not only is the game compatible with the Scene It? controllers, there is a set of intro instructions specific to them, and the question screen is arranged vertically to correspond with the buttons.[2]
      • Just try and let the computer pick a name for you.
    • Can you guess what the most likely response to the Gibberish Questions was, assuming you weren't actually trying to correctly answer them, and given the game's target audience? Yeah, And so did the developers, and their response is listed under What The Hell Player below.
  • Do Well, But Not Perfect / Do Wrong Right: Subverted in 2011. Each episode has a "Wrong Answer of the Game", brought to you by the episode's sponsor, which is, of course, not the answer to the question. However, for picking it, you're rewarded with double that round's full possible winnings, as well as getting a "prize". Also, if you want all of the Cosmetic Awards, you need to intentionally screw up at various points, such as blowing a million dollars on wrong Jack Attack answers.
    • However, if you're in a competitive environment and someone else still has a screw, you better get that bonus BEFORE someone gets screwed - picking ANY wrong answer under a screw, even the Wrong Answer of the Game, removes it from play and gives the screwer some of your score. This is specifically mentioned in the manual, too.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: In 2011, the animation for question 10 has the "1" plunge its head into the "0"'s hole. Shortly afterward, baby "n" pops out of "0."
  • Downloadable Content: The "Jack Packs" in the 360 and PS3 ports of 2011
  • Dummied Out: The 2011 iOS Game from the app store.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Until Volume two.
  • Easter Egg: In The Ride, there are MANY. often in Cookie's levels and in others that if the the first player to buzz in picks a certain answer-and that SAME player rings in first, and picks a similar answer to another question later on in the same game-will elicit a different response from the host. A great way to do this, is to start a new "The Ride" game with 3 people on the first floor, "Censorship" and in that game, have the same player ring in first each time to pick answers: "The Muscles From Brussels", "$8.75" and "MPAA" and Cookie as the Easter Egg will bring up Jean-Claude Van Damme in each of his responses. There are many other such examples.
    • In the Gibberish Questions on "The Ride" you can still get the similar responses for typing in 'fuck you' but you can also get a different response for typing in similar naughty words like "Fag" or "Lesbo"

Cookie: "Oh come on, you know better than that.....I think."

  • Everything's Better with Chickens: 2011 advertises the "Wrong Answer of the Game" with a chicken.
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: 2011's "It's the put the choices into order then buzz in and see if you are right"..."question"!
    • Also "Dis or Dat".
    • Almost all of the commercials. Such as the St. Joseph's Historically-Inaccurate Boy's Choir.
    • The "Elephant, Mustard, Teddy Roosevelt, or Dracula" Questions on the Facebook Game.
    • And the Off the Rails Jack Attack in 2011, which Cookie protests about and gets his mic cut off by Helen WHILE THE PLAYERS ARE BUSY WITH IT. Despite the extremely straightforward instructions, it's more difficult than you would think.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: 2011's animation for question 9 is a simple animation of two 9s in hats rolling through a valley. When playing episode 69, the animation freezes suddenly, revealing that there had been a 69 joke the entire time.
  • Gasshole: Old Man, as revealed if you type "Fuck you" in YDKJ Movies or TV. Both Cookie and Schmitty berate Old Man for stinking up the booth.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Quite a bit, given the games' Teen rating.
  • The Glasses Come Off: One of the Alter Egos' reactions to a wrong answer in 5th Dementia
  • God Save Us From the Queen: Lampshaded by Schmitty in volume 6.
  • Gotta Catch Em All: Guessing the "Wrong Answer Of The Game" in 2011 yields a prize.
  • Groin Attack: In the third installment, one of the gibberish lines Cookie uses to introduce the Gibberish Question is: "Uh oh! Left nut kick; I'm sore!"
  • Heartbeat Soundtrack: After the host berates you for typing "fuck you" three times in the Gibberish Question, the sound of a fast heartbeat briefly plays before the game quits to desktop.
    • That sound is also played in a loop when an answer is being typed.
  • Improbable Species Compatibility: at the end of episode 60 of the flash version Nate leaves the show to marry Tiny The Elephant.
  • Hurricane of Puns
  • I Need to Go Iron My Dog: One episode from 2011 has Cookie regularly bring up a party that he's throwing, and he gets these excuses from the "staff" throughout the episode. The final question before the final round is which excuse is at least plausible.
  • I Will Show You X: Schmitty, to Old Man in TV: "Chafing? I'll give you chafing!"
  • The Immodest Orgasm: Can be heard as the correct answer sound in the computer version of Volume 3's 3-Way.
  • Interface Screw: Literally. In The Ride and Abwärts!, you accomplish the "Screw" or "Nail" by hitting the "S" or "N" key as much as possible to literally fill the screen with screws/nails, making the question partially or fully impossible to see.
    • Also on The Ride, the computer will not always actually accept your name when you try to type it in.
    • The "Who's the Dummy?" questions in 2011 are given by Cookie's ventriloquist dummy Billy O'Brien, and are obfuscated slightly by Cookie's limited ventriloquism skills (replacing "B" sounds with "D" sounds and the like).
  • Irony
  • Kent Brockman News: The fake bumpers often used over the credits.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: Played with — on TV, if you shoot off one too many F-bombs, Old Man reveals that he is in fact Schmitty's father — supposedly.
  • Mascot: From the ads, Chocky the Chipmunk, who seems like a Heroic Comedic Sociopath version (well, more of one) of normal breakfast cereal mascots.
  • Mission Pack Sequel
  • Mood Whiplash: Jack Attacks are always presented in a much creepier manner than the rest of the game.
    • 2011 manages to do this with a question number animation. One of the "everybody cuatro" 4s is suddenly gunned down. This leads to a mini-story arc in subsequent games, witch contains an "f" as The Other Darrin. See it for yourself.
  • More Screws/Nails: In The Ride and/or Abwarts!. See Interface Screw.
  • Multi Platform: 2011. Also Vol. 3, which was more or less ported to Playstation as simply You Don't Know Jack.
  • Multiple Endings: At the end of the last floor of The Ride or Abwärts!, you could select from a few options what the host(s) would do for the finale. When the game returns to that episode, the ending is never seen again, so in order to see them all you would have to uninstall the game and then re-install it. (Or copy the .ini file before you start the game and reinstate it afterward.)
  • Naughty by Night: The segue for Question 18 of Movies parodies this.

Announcer: Question 18: Honor student by day... stripper by night!

  • Odd Name Out: The members of the bluegrass band Cookie has for an order question in episode 42 of 2011 are named Jeb, Cleb, Fleb and Hauss.
  • Off the Rails: This happens from time to time in 2011, but one episode in particular begins with the writers going to a picnic after only completing six questions (out of ten). It all spirals out of control from there as the staff races to get questions done in time for the the rest of the show.
    • Also a few of the questions in the Techical Difficulties episode in Louder! Faster! Funnier! and Mock 2.
  • Parody Commercial: After you complete an "episode".
  • Pop Quiz: Where high culture and pop culture collide
  • Precision F-Strike: In some versions of the first "You Don't Know Jack" game, Nate Shapiro will say "fuck" right back at you if you type "Fuck you" in the Gibberish Question.

Nate: (after a bunch of cash is taken away) Nononononono... I didn't say "fuck you." I said... FUCK... YOU. (more cash is taken away)

    • In German volumes 1 2 and 4 what Quizmaster Jack says if you flip him off in German volumes 1, 2, and 4 is an exact German translation of Nate's.
  • Pyrrhic Victory: The Correct answer to an impossible question in Volume 3, but you lose points (So the only correct answer to it is not to answer)
    • Old Man gets his after drinking a whole gallon of milk in episode 9 of 2011 which uses the definition of one.
  • Rage Quit: Inverted in titles with Gibberish Questions; see What the Hell, Player? below for the specifics.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: What the hosts give for getting a score below zero in almost every game released Except The Ride and Abwärts!.
  • Rule of Three: One of the Impossible Question's category is titled "Shakespeare and the Rule of Three"
  • Running Gag: In 2011, Cookie harassing his interns.
    • Which was likely carried over from the Online-version.
    • Also

How many times do we have to tell you? "Tootie" is NEVER the right answer!

      • Except for the question "Which is never the right answer in You Don't Know Jack?"
  • Series Mascot: That bald head in pretty much on the front cover in every game.
  • Serious Business: Sure, the game is jovial in nature, but when it comes down to the Jack Attack, with its high stakes and suspenseful music, business tends to pick up, esp. in a close game.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Some of the questions make finding the correct answer more difficult by describing the scenario in ungodly fancy English.
  • Shout-Out: Quite a lot.
  • Sound Effect Bleep: Some Curse words are censored with various sounds of a horn.
  • Something Something Leonard Bernstein: Cookie misinterprets the lyrics to "Gravity" in episode 48 of 2011.
  • Spelling Song: Occasionally played in a commercial during the credits of The Ride.
  • Stock Scream: Can be heard in a "Jack Attack" in almost any game.
  • Stock Sound Effects
  • Stop Helping Me!: Sure the question explanations can get a bit tedious, but you can choose to skip these if you want.
  • Story Arc: Sort of. In one of the episodes, one of the "four"s which dances during the Question 4 intro is assassinated. The next few episodes afterwards, we see a police chalk outline, then a group of fours dancing without the deceased question 4, then another four taking its place (except this one's an "F" for four), and finally a funeral for the deceased question 4 (In that order).
  • Sublime Rhyme: The Gibberish Questions. Your Mileage May Vary on how sublime it actually is, which makes it all the more challenging without hints.
    • In episode 23 of 2011 there's a question that has words that has words that rhyme with "Gellin".
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: The Rhyming dictionary commercial in 2011 did not have anything Rhymed.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: The host of HeadRush sounds vaguely like Guy Towers and acts a lot like Cookie Masterson.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: One of those parody commercials pitches "Man-Packs", which are basically tampons for MEN. Don't ask how that could possibly work.
  • Title Drop: End-of-episode Catch Phrase. Also a possible Gibberish Answer question, one of the choices in question 2 of Episode 29 (referring to the HBO movie) in 2011, and the possible Volume 2 Jack Attack Category.
    • Also the final round of "Head Rush" is "Head Rush".
  • Toilet Humor: One of the many episodes of Louder! Faster! Funnier! and Mock 2.
  • Video Game Caring Potential: Question 4 — it's "the question that cares."
    • In Movies" it's "The question that still cares."
  • Video Game Cruelty Potential: ... and in 2011, its tombstone in one segue for the fourth question reads "The Question that Cared." Which then leads to a question that has Elmer Fudd killing Porky Pig, processing him into lunch meat and eating him.
  • Visual Pun: When you reach the Jack Attack at the end of the game in 2011, the iconic head is shown in silhouette a few times with various sharp implements stuck in it. The first one is always a fork. As in "stick a fork in me, I'm done".
    • However, In the IOS version of the game It's always the back of a hammer. As in "Hammer-Head" Get it?
    • Another item is a muffin. As in "Muffin Top." Thank you folks, tip your servers and try the veal...
  • What the Hell, Player?: On a Gibberish or an Anagram Question The first player to buzz in and type "Fuck You" will lose an ungodly amount of money (minimum of 50,000, maximum of whatever drains your score to zero, and if the game feels like screwing with you, it'll then take another 100,000 out, leaving you with at most -100,000), and may even have their name changed to something like "Loser", "Wanker", "Jerk", etc. The second person to buzz in and type "Fuck You" will have absolutely nothing happen to them, because--as the host claims--they are neither creative, nor original, nor funny, and thus don't deserve to have anything special happen to them, But will get the host very angry If the third person buzzes in and types "Fuck You," then the host will walk away in anger and finally the game quits to the desktop. Don't try to hit Esc either to pause the game, that will get even more out of your host in either more rage, or more indifference to the fact that the game is over.
    • Also works in single-player mode, however. Just finish enough rounds to get to three consecutive Gibberish Questons without ending the game and the result will be the same as if three separate people shot off their F-Bombs
    • In "The Ride," if the Player never buzzes in during the Jack Attack, Cookie will be somewhat annoyed.

Cookie: "What the HELL!? Did you go to the BATHROOM?! It's supposed to be interactive, REMEMBER?!"

    • And in the 2011 game, this is Cookie's response when the player screws themselves.
    • In "The Ride," the elevator hostess will decide to shut down the game if you try typing in a naughty word for a name (i.e. Lezbo) and is smart enough to know how common misspellings of similar words are used.
  • Wunza Plot: The fake commercial Brannagher & The Hawk, about the unlikely pairing of a cop (who sounds like Sylvester Stallone) and Stephen Hawking.
    • Also this example:

Narrator: One's a cop from the future, one's a witch doctor from the past.

Cookie: That about does it for round one. (if you have a good score) And you're sitting pretty... for someone so ugly.


I ride my bike up and down the bay,
And I really don't mind if you're straight, bi or gay,
Let's go see the Dead, we'll have us a ball,
I'm the Health Food Store Boy Doll.

  1. On the other hand he was the announcer for "Sports", Volume 2, "Movies", Volume 3, and Offline.
  2. these two are for two different consoles with two different controller formats.