User:Damian Yerrick/crosswick worksheet
These changes were made by Damian Yerrick to the article Website/Cracked on TV Tropes between June 2012 and November 2013. The changes have been extracted in PmWiki markup from the article's history on TV Tropes and have been integrated into the Cracked.com work page but still need to be crosswicked in the respective trope pages.
To do:
- Reformat all entriesfor crosswicking
- Merge them into the respective trope articles
Come for the X, Stay for the Y
- Cracked.com's 5 Words You Use Every Day With Shockingly Dark Backstories links the word "fornication" to prostitutes finding clients in bakeries. It gives as an example the novel Satyricon by Gaius Petronius, which "talks about bakers tricking clients into coming for the bread and staying 'thither for the base gratification of wantonness.'"
- An alliance between Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia was narrowly averted according to Cracked.com's "5 Insane 'What If' Scenarios That Almost Changed Everything".
- One of Cracked.com's 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "bullets can't pass through wood or cars."
- A Northern California argot called Boontling is one of Cracked.com's 5 secret languages that stuck it to the man. It uses English grammar but replaces many of the content words.
- One of Cracked.com's 6 Famous Songs Written by the Last Person You'd Expect is "Red Red Wine", written and originally recorded by Neil Diamond and popularized by UB40's cover.
- : 5 Everyday Things That Can Literally Drive You Crazy links seasonal affective disorder in part to "three straight months of Christmas music."
- In Cracked.com:
- Parodied by Christina H., whose column is called "Let Me Tell You About My Cats."
- Pets are #5 of the 6 Things You Didn't Know You Could Get Addicted To, and this article links it to Toxoplasma gondii parasites.
- Photoplasty Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle shows a dozen cats on the side of the room that we don't see in James McNeill Whistler's famous portrait of his mother.
- : A human being able to lift 300 kg as if it were nothing but not 301 kg is the #12 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- Explained in the Cracked.com article "5 Things TV Writers Apparently Believe About Smart People" as arising from the misconception that government agencies are staffed by geniuses.
- : Felix Clay in 6 Horror Mashups Just Crazy Enough to Be Awesome calls The Human Centipede a "Shlock shock horror movie that was made solely for the sensationalism of saying it was actually made [...] The novelty of this movie ended with the idea of it."
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- "3 Movies They Don't Make Anymore (But Really Should)" decries the trend of "taking popular, existing properties and bringing out the darkest and grittiest aspects they can find" seen in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, among other movies.
- In "4 Bizarrely Specific Rules Fairy Tale Adaptations All Follow", David Christopher Bell claims that recent film adaptations of fairy tales invoke this to invert Disneyfication.
- Cracked.com cites a few cases, Mr. Wong not among them.
- The 7 Most Badass Man vs. Beast Showdowns includes a man driving a bear by kicking in the face and a women driving a way hippo by hitting in the head with a stick.
- The 6 Most Mismatched Battles Ever Won by Underdogs describes victories by severely outnumbered forces in Persia, the Ottomans, Korea, Hungary, and the Mongols.
- : The 6 Most Bizarre Ways to Lose Popular Video Games describes an odd Nonstandard Game Over in Mass Effect 2.
- : 3 Reasons It's So Hard to Make Superman Interesting spends a page deconstructing the boring Invincible Hero and then another reconstructing a hero faced with the Sadistic Choice of whom to save at any given moment.
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- One of Jorden Weir's 5 People Whose Major Disabilities Only Made Them Stronger is a mixed martial artist missing half of one forearm, making him a lot harder to grab.
- Several Cracked.com articles discuss tropes deemed discredited. These include 6 Sci-Fi Movie Conventions (That Need to Die) and 5 Overused Twist Endings It's Time For Movies to Retire.
- : Men make more short-term-oriented decisions after exposure to sexual stimuli, as explained in #3 of 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate.
- : "5 Little-Known Sequels That Ruined Iconic Stories" expains that Charles Webb admitted that his novel Home School, the sequel to The Graduate, had the old characters shoehorned into a new story.
- : "5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over" claims that video games allow lesbian subtext but no male gay subtext.
- : In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, via 5 Horrifying Implications of the 'Star Trek' Universe, Picard is playing holodeck when one of the characters asks him: "When you're gone, will this world still exist? Will my wife and kids still be waiting for me at home?"
- : #2 of 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate points out a study finding that people singing together end up synchronizing their brainwaves.
- : Debunked in "6 Ridiculous Myths About the Middle Ages Everyone Believes" and "5 Ridiculous Myths You Probably Believe About the Dark Ages".
- : Discussed in The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In, after a bit about a city whose residents live off the capital's garbage: "Great, now we have the Sanford and Son theme stuck in our heads."
- : The #8 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games represents them as hot chicks.
- : The #3 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is that "new 16-bit microscopes may prove existence of sub-pixel particles".
Everything's Better with Monkeys
- In Cracked.com:
- M. Asher Cantrell's The 10 Biggest Password Mistakes People Make cites a study claiming that half a percent of English-speaking Internet users have "monkey" as a password on an online account and suggests it may be related to the word's status as an Inherently Funny Word.
- : Somatoparaphrenia, or the delusion that someone's limb is not his own, is discussed in The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction. It results from damage to the homunculus, the part of the brain that tracks where each body part is.
Exactly What It Says on the Tin
- In Cracked.com:
- In 6 Ridiculous Tumblrs That Yahoo Just Paid $1 Billion For, Alex Hanton claims that Bruce Springsteen's Crotch and many other Tumblr blogs "stand up for truth in advertising. You click on this, you know exactly what you're getting."
- Readers retitle several movies in this manner in If Movie Titles Were Honest.
- In Cracked.com:
- J.F. Sargent calls the very existence of Fantasy Counterpart Cultures one of the "5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over".
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "your unborn children make awesome weapons." The example given is from Yoshi's Island.
- : Photoplasty contest 28 Inspirational Image Memes (Revised for Honesty) parodies Successories and other inspirational glurge posters.
- : #3 of 6 New Kinds of Anxiety the Internet Gave Us is "The Confusion/Disgust/Arousal of Stumbling Upon Someone Else's Sexual Fetish".
- : #1 of 6 New Kinds of Anxiety the Internet Gave Us is "The Shock of Instant, Unintentional Fame".
- : #2 of 6 New Kinds of Anxiety the Internet Gave Us is "The Dread of Stumbling into a Hornet's Nest".
- : In "College of DuPage Flash Mob Dance and Pep Rally", one of 5 Videos That Will Brighten Your Day, a half dozen people perform rehearsed dance moves, and then someone outside the group spontaneously joins in the dance fever. "Oh, life is a musical now? OK, I'd better adapt!"
- : Levitating coins are explained as lighter-than-air currency in the #7 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Calling tiny, trick-or-treat size candy bars "fun size", or calling any sort of eating "fun" for that matter, is one of The 5 Stupidest Lies Advertisers Expect You to Believe. It compares the practice to Little People demanding to be called "fun size".
- : 6 Insane Disney Comics You Won't Believe Are Real shows panels from an educational comic in an issue of Look magazine showing Dr. Mickey Mouse testing sulfa drugs on common mice.
- In Cracked.com:
- 6 Insane Disney Comics You Won't Believe Are Real shows panels from a 1953 Scrooge comic book where what at first looks like a fight between Goldie and Scrooge (given the sound effects and smoke emanating from the cabin) turns out to be something "not a hangin' offense in Langry, Texas, or anywhere else".
- : Mario's numerous roles are evidence of a multiverse in the #15 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Mid-air direction changes and surviving falls are the #9 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Among Jorden Weir's 5 People Whose Major Disabilities Only Made Them Stronger are a legless mountain climber and a blind pilot.
- : In The 5 Most Absurd Superhero Names of All-Time, Maxwell Yezpitelok mentions the World War II-era comic book examples of The Gay Ghost as well as "hav[ing] never felt so queer" in Flick Falcon.
- In Cracked.com:
- The #22 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is a medkit, and #9 is "Green Heart + Red Heart = Full Health".
- One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "first aid kits are absorbed through osmosis".
- In Cracked.com:
- A healing factor is portrayed as undesirable in 6 Awesome Superpowers (That Would Suck in Real Life) because the intense pain would lead to post-traumatic stress disorder.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "your princess can always wait a little longer" to complete a Fishing Minigame.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "a person's volume of blood often exceeds 78 liters."
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "if you have the right saddle, you can ride on freaking anything."
- : The 5 Most Badass Ways People Escaped from Slavery relates the story of Henry "Box" Brown, an African-American slave in Virginia successfully escaped to Philadelphia inside a crate and later bragged about how he did it. Slavery opponent Frederick Douglass was infuriated because he wanted this escape method to be kept secret so that other slaves could use it.
- : Some xenobiologists argue that convergent evolution to a humanoid form is more likely than Starfish Aliens, according to #1 of 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate.
- In Cracked.com:
- One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "eating food you find in the trash is good for you."
- : Not everyone does. One of 4 Things Movies Always Get Wrong About Awkward People is that people with No Social Skills necessarily want to be cured.
Ignorant of Their Own Ignorance
- : Gladstone lists 4 Douches Who Amazingly Don't Seem to Know They Suck. These include people who use a handicap tag for parking without actually needing one, people who grow weary of their customer service job, drivers who honk at other drivers merging onto a highway, and people who overreact to minor inconveniences.
- : Taking 10 minutes to climb a stairway is the #11 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games, and accelerated crop growth as seen in farm simulation video games such as Harvest Moon series and Farmville is #6.
- : 5 Doctors Who Just Gave The World's Worst Medical Advice retells a CBS13 Sacramento story about a doctor who saw a woman with an oversensitive gag reflex and prescribed giving fellatio to her husband. PONOS to MOOTH, indeed.
- : Mid-air direction changes and surviving falls are the #9 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics
- : The 5 Most Popular Ways Statistics Are Used to Lie to You covers some fallacies commonly used to lie with statistics.
- In Cracked.com"
- And comic books too. 5 Important Things You Won't Believe Comic Books Invented shows how Elvis Presley's appearance, Minecraft, and even ankle bracelets for monitoring criminals came from old comic books.
- : The #5 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is that one in five men can transform under stress.
- : The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction mentions the "Fregoli delusion" that several distinct people that someone meets are one person who quickly changes clothes, named after a stage actor famous for quickly changing into different costumes.
- : #5 of 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate explains moon fear as the result of a rise in lion attacks on the first few days after the full moon once the lions have become hungrier.
- : The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports describes an incident in the 1990s when the Canadian Football League was attempting to expand into the United States. At one game, the Canadian national anthem was sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree".
- : Johnny Depp and others in 5 Heartwarming Stories to Restore Your Faith in Celebrities.
- : The 5 Craziest Ways Famous Actors Got into Character mentions Adrien Brody, Tom Cruise, and more.
- : The 6 Most Mind-Blowing Ways Your Brain Can Malfunction mentions a mental disorder called mirrored-self misidentification, in which someone looking into a mirror believes that the monster in the mirror is an intruder performing a Mirror Routine, not oneself.
- : 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy lists tools used to prevent this reaction.
- : Monsters having internal gold sacs is one of 27 Science Lessons As Taught by Famous Video Games and one of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games.
- : The Statue of Liberty is the #1 Iconic Building That Was Barely Saved from Destruction because "when Lady Liberty gets destroyed, it means the apocalypse is here".
- In Cracked.com:
- Tony Stark using his repulsor ray to toast bread of all things is one of several Idiotic Real World Uses of Awesome Fictional Technology.
- A later Photoplasty added more. 22 Terrible Ways We Would Use Sci-Fi Technology include using a Star Wars lightsaber to chop a cucumber, or using Doc Ock's tentacles to serve food to customers at a restaurant.
- : Being too nice is one of 5 Innocent Things That Science Says Make People Hate You. Hence "negging".
- : A Photoplasty considers what would have happened If 40 Famous Movies Had $50 Budgets.
- In Cracked.com:
- From 5 Animal Rights Campaigns That Managed to Screw Over Animals, about the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring:
- One of the survivors was put in a program called Paws for Tales, where kids too shy to read aloud to human audiences practice their reading skills in front of dogs. No, really. That's not a sarcastic fake program we made up. (And that's not a stock image. That's Jonny Justice, the actual dog we're talking about.)
- From 5 Animal Rights Campaigns That Managed to Screw Over Animals, about the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring:
- : Photoplasty Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle depicts an elephant swimming and putting its trunk above the water as a snorkel, forming the famous photo of the Loch Ness monster.
- : Plenty of them resulted from events described in Xavier Jackson's 5 Dumb Ways People Have Won at Sports.
- In Cracked.com:
- Discussed in 7 Modern Conveniences That Are Way Older Than You Think, which mentions Persian air conditioning, Roman shopping malls, Neanderthal medicine, and more.
- 6 Forms of Modern Depravity (Way Older Than Your Grandpa) shows late medieval Scottish rap battles, Japanese Edo period celebrity culture associated with the Kardashians, the FurryFandom in ancient Rome, medieval Catholic acceptance of gay marriage, and late medieval treehuggers in India.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "no matter how strong and powerful you are, some scrub will take you out with a death spell."
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- Why the New 'Hunger Games' Movie Is Orange and Blue discusses this color scheme in the second Hunger Games film.
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- Video: Do you have what it takes to title porn?
- The 10 Most Misleadingly Pornographic Movie Titles lists movies that could be mistaken for their own parallel porn title. It even lists which scenes could be kept unchanged.
- Girth, Wind and Fire. An article about unappealing porn titles notes that a much better title would have been Sperm, Bend & Tie Her.
- : The #14 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games is an allusion to Rudolph Zallinger's illustration "The March of Progress" done with game sprites.
The Password Is Always Swordfish
- : Not always, but The 10 Biggest Password Mistakes People Make lists a few that several "million uncreative bastards" end up thinking of under time pressure.
- : "I've even seen people who insist that their televisions or vehicles require a special touch that only they know, a touch that usually turns out to be a pretty substantial punch or kick, which I guess makes their superpower physical abuse?"
- : "Give Them a Dog" is #6 of 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- : It used to be inverted. #5 of 5 Gender Stereotypes That Used To Be the Exact Opposite is that pink being for girls is a recent idea.
- : The 5 Most Epic Backfires in the History of Bad Jokes. From the lead: "The problem with sarcasm is that you can do it so well (or so poorly) that people don't realize you're joking."
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that police cars in a BeatEmUp are just for decoration. "Only trust your fists; police will never help you."
- : What Pollyanna calls "the glad game" and others call "counting their blessings" is a coping mechanism that Felix Clay calls "trivializing adversity" in 4 Ways We Don't Realize We Suck at Coping With Adversity.
- : Stashes of erotic magazines and VHS tapes are one of 7 Ridiculously Outdated Assumptions Every Movie Makes.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "weakling + Amanita mushroom = bodybuilder."
- In Cracked.com:
- "Make Them American, Even if They're Not" is #3 of 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- In The 5 Most Insulting Defenses of Nerd Racism, J.F. Sargent defends the practice of sacrificing fidelity to the source comics in superhero films.
- In Cracked.com:
- 5 True Stories Cut from Movies for Being Too Unrealistic lists "mind-blowing moments from real life that Hollywood decided were too fantastic", such as John Dillinger taking three people hostage in Public Enemies but 17 in real life.
- In Cracked.com:
- The regeneration in first-person shooters since Faceball 2000 is the #23 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is to "duck and cover and stay put until you are fully healed."
- In Cracked.com:
- Implied by 6 Awesome Superpowers (That Would Suck in Real Life). For example, being able to throw lightning would require immunity to effects on sight and hearing similar to those of stun grenades, and force fields would need immunity to Not the Fall That Kills You.
- : One of Winston Rowntree's The 4 Reasons We Fall in Love With a Piece of Pop Culture is that it's "porn", which he defines as any cultural work "that you seek out to animalistically fill a specific need." He runs through a bunch of things jokingly called porn, coining the retronym "Sex Porn" in the process.
- : The 5 Most Insane Teams in the History of Sports calls the Steagles, an alliance of longtime rival NFL teams from Pennsylvania when most of their regular players were drafted to fight World War II, "too stupid even for a sports movie".
- : "Make Them Technologically Inferior" is #5 of the 6 Tricks Movies Use to Make Sure You Root for the Right Guy.
- : One of 22 Terrible Ways We Would Use Sci-Fi Technology is using a Franchise/StarTrek replicator to make a sex toy. It wouldn't be a stretch from real-life 3D printed sex toys though.
- : Several in 32 Alternate Interpretations of Common Warning Signs
- : How time works with this in play is the #17 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Photoplasty Famous Images, As Seen From a Different Angle shows what the figure in Edvard Munch's painting was screaming at: Superman.
- In Cracked.com
- 6 Spectacularly Failed Attempts to Be Politically Correct tells how Microsoft banned an Xbox 360 user from Xbox Live for being from Fort Gay, West Virginia.
- Seen on Cracked itself in the comments section, where things like "documentary" and "Japan" get censored because of "cum" and "Jap".
- : Losing the ability to be surprised by entertainment is one of 5 Warning Signs That You're Finally Getting Older. Entertainment will ruin your life with or without tropes.
- : Rad, a film where the entire culture of a town is built around BMX, is cited in "The 4 Weirdest Lessons '80s Movies Really Wanted to Teach Us" as the most ridiculous example of a hobby that saves the world.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is to avert this by putting a basket on the shopkeeper's head. "Robbery is easier than you think."
- : #4 of 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate points out a study finding that intelligence and education are somehow correlated with nearsightedness in real life.
- In Cracked.com:
- Most of the videos on the site have a single female.
- The 6 Most Bizarre Ways to Lose Popular Video Games describes a pub in the game Dishonored as containing "Havelock the leader, Piero the geeky inventor, and Callista the woman."
- : 5 Classic Movies Made by People Who Wanted Them to Fail mentions the 1955 romantic dramedy Marty, starring Creator/ErnestBorgnine, which was expected to fail (and save the studio a bundle on income tax) but when its ugly actors ended up resonating as more authentic to viewers, it ended up winning four Academy Awards and a Palme d'Or. The article describes its production as having "literally started out as the plot of The Producers."
- In Cracked.com:
- Cracked has done some of their own. For example, Robert Brockway's "5 Things You Learn From a Lifetime of Screwing Up" is probably a parody of David Wong and John Cheese articles.
- Cracked.com accuses Beauty and the Beast of this in 23 Romantic Movies Revised for Honesty and 5 Romantic Movie Gestures That Were Actually Dick Moves.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "it may take a few tries, but life gets easier once you figure out the patterns." The example is from Punch-Out!!.
- : 6 Technologies Conspicuously Absent From Sci-Fi Movies explores technologies widely available when several well-known science fiction films were first published that would have completely broken their plots: bicycles, night vision goggles, unmanned combat vehicles, Wi-Fi, GPS, and cell phones.
- : 6 Iconic Movie Scenes That Happened by Accident cites Viggo Mortensen's broken toe in the film of The Lord of the Rings, among others.
- : The toothlike serrations inside a penguin's mouth, used to grip fish, are #3 of the 7 Most Terrifying Mouths in Nature.
- : "5 Works of Art So Good, They Ruined Their Whole Genre" calls 2001: A Space Odyssey, David Bowie's The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, the film of Fight Club, two Bob Marley albums, and Animal House tough acts to follow in their respective genres.
- : The Korowai tribe of Papua New Guinea live in tree houses 100 feet up to escape floods and predators, according to 9 Houses You Won't Believe People Actually Live In and 6 Isolated Groups Who Had No Idea That Civilization Existed.
- : The Truman Show is called one of 6 Movies That Accidentally Recreate Real Mental Illnesses because its plot resembles the real-life delusion that one's life is a reality show, a mental illness investigated by doctors Joel and Ian Gold.
- : 5 Unrealistic Movie Cliches That Are Scientifically Accurate explores the real-life counterparts of five tropes that are more realistic than they may sound.
- : One of 31 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn From Video Games is that "real men sleep in their armor."
- : One of the reasons no one laughed at your joke is "It Was About Something They Won't Laugh About, Ever".
- : 6 Spectacularly Failed Attempts to Be Politically Correct gives a bunch of examples of how attempts to avert Monochrome Casting by including Black people in promotion campaigns ended up tripping over stereotypes about fried chicken, watermelon, and wanting to be white.
- : Mario's numerous roles are evidence of a multiverse in the #15 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Parodied as the #25 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games which teaches that the third spatial dimension was discovered in 1996.
- : One of the reasons no one laughed at your joke is "They Didn't Have Enough Information to Get It". It states that the best practice for an Inside Joke that relies on knowledge of something obscure like Rocky IV or Battlestar Galactica Classic is to find a discreet way to explain the reference in the setup.
- : #4 of 4 Realizations That Will Ruin Science Fiction for You is that science fiction needs a "straight man" to whom the setting's rules are explained.
- : "Psychology: People tend to say the same thing over and over" is the #9 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
- : Pokémon coming from eggs is the #27 Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games.
What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
- : Invoked in The 5 Most Aggressively Crazy Websites on the Internet, where Mark Hill compares Boohbah to "the findings of a scientist adding LSD to baby food."
- : Invoked in Photoplasty 21 Real Deleted Scenes That Completely Change Famous Movies.
- A favorite subject on Cracked.com.
- Deconstructed in David Dietle's 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly). For one thing, maggots and gut flora would devour the undead.
The last one
- Box and Stick Trap: #13 of Photoplasty 18 Things You Never Noticed in Famous Pictures (Part 2) takes Kevin Carter's Pulitzer-winning photo of a vulture stalking a crouching Sudanese child and adds a ray of hope by having the child bait a vulture into such a trap. A kid's gotta eat somehow.
- Dumpster Dive: It's a way of life in Manshiyat Naser, whose residents live off Cairo's garbage, making it one of The 6 Weirdest Cities People Actually Live In.