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[[File:Poor__Poor_Vexen_by_Oriana132_8328.jpg|frame|<small>[[Room 101|Let's just say it's]] [[Lazy Town|not been Vexen's day.]]</small> ]]
[[File:Poor__Poor_Vexen_by_Oriana132_8328.jpg|frame|[[Room 101|Let's just say it's]] [[LazyTown|not been Vexen's day.]]]]


Once upon a time, in [[Kingdom Hearts|The World That Never Was]], at [[Brick Joke|an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[Unusual Euphemism|you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[Big Bad|teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that <s>these three</s> Lexaeus is [[Author Appeal|MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[Shout-Out|countless pop culture references,]] in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins [[Groin Attack|from assault]] by the Semes. Who are kind of like [[The Heartless]], but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know.
Once upon a time, in [[Kingdom Hearts|The World That Never Was]], at [[Brick Joke|an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[Unusual Euphemism|you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[Big Bad|teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that <s>these three</s> Lexaeus is [[Author Appeal|MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[Shout-Out|countless pop culture references,]] in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins [[Groin Attack|from assault]] by the Semes. Who are kind of like [[The Heartless]], but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know.


Yes, really.
Yes, really.


''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]'' is a ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]. As a [[Meta Fic]], it parodies just about every aspect of [[Horrible/Fanfic|bad fanfiction]]. Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus race through [[Alternate Universe|alternate universes]], and encounter a wide variety of [[Fanfic Tropes]], including [[Slash Fic|Slash Fics]], [[High School AU|High School AUs]], [[Self-Insert Fic|Self Insert Fics]], [[Song Fic|Song Fics]], [[Crossover|Cross Overs]], [[Crack Fic|Crack Fics]], [[Wangst]], and [[Canon Defilement]], while keeping the plot of [[The Virus|Gutless]] changing the remaining members of Organization XIII into [[Seme|shadows]] [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|of]] [[Uke|themselves]]. Along the way, it viciously lampoons several other franchises, lovingly mocking everything under the sun in a brilliant, hilarious (and sometimes long-winded) romp through fanfiction itself.
''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]'' is a ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]. As a [[Meta Fic]], it parodies just about every aspect of [[So Bad It's Horrible/Fan Works|bad fanfiction]]. Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus race through [[Alternate Universe|alternate universes]], and encounter a wide variety of [[Fanfic Tropes]], including [[Slash Fic|Slash Fics]], [[High School AU|High School AUs]], [[Self-Insert Fic|Self Insert Fics]], [[Song Fic|Song Fics]], [[Crossover|Cross Overs]], [[Crack Fic|Crack Fics]], [[Wangst]], and [[Canon Defilement]], while keeping the plot of [[The Virus|Gutless]] changing the remaining members of Organization XIII into [[Seme|shadows]] [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|of]] [[Uke|themselves]]. Along the way, it viciously lampoons several other franchises, lovingly mocking everything under the sun in a brilliant, hilarious (and sometimes long-winded) romp through fanfiction itself.


{{tropelist}}
----
⚫
* [[A Date with Rosie Palms]] - To a video of a ''bee'' pollinating a ''flower''. It's Marly-dono, people.
=== ''[[Those Lacking Spines]]'' contains examples of: ===
⚫
* [[Alliteration]] - The [[V for Vendetta]] reference, anyone?

⚫
* [[A Date With Rosie Palms]] - To a video of a ''bee'' pollinating a ''flower''. It's Marly-dono, people.
⚫
* [[Added Alliterative Appeal]] - The [[V for Vendetta]] reference, anyone?
* [[Animate Inanimate Object]] - Xaldin's sideburns.
* [[Animate Inanimate Object]] - Xaldin's sideburns.
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the [[Mary Sue]]'s intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!"
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the [[Mary Sue]]'s intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!"
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* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] - Too many times to count.
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]] - Too many times to count.
* [[Brown Note]] - [[Squick|"I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]]
* [[Brown Note]] - [[Squick|"I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]]
* [[Camp Gay]] - Marly-dono, and almost all of the Ukes.
* [[Camp Gay]] - Marly-dono, and almost all of the Ukes.
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Oh hell.
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Oh hell.
* [[Chekhov's Gag]] - The time of day in The World That Never Was.
* [[Chekhov's Gag]] - The time of day in The World That Never Was.
Line 36: Line 34:
* [[Cliff Hanger]]
* [[Cliff Hanger]]
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]] - Demy-kins, who fittingly rules over the [[Crack Fic]] half of Vacillating Heights.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]] - Demy-kins, who fittingly rules over the [[Crack Fic]] half of Vacillating Heights.
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]] - Vexen is tortured by {{spoiler|1=listening to the [[Lazy Town]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lqfQi7146U cake song].}} Originally they tried ''It's a Small World After All'', but one of the [[Required Secondary Powers]] of a "Part-Disney" character includes an immunity to Disney songs.
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]] - Vexen is tortured by {{spoiler|1=listening to the [[LazyTown]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lqfQi7146U cake song].}} Originally they tried ''It's a Small World After All'', but one of the [[Required Secondary Powers]] of a "Part-Disney" character includes an immunity to Disney songs.
** It may also qualify as a [[Mind Rape]] for Vexen.
** It may also qualify as a [[Mind Rape]] for Vexen.
* [[Curse Cut Short]] - “Oh shi-”
* [[Curse Cut Short]] - “Oh shi-”
Line 47: Line 45:
*** To explain: Roxas and Xaldin were rescued by {{spoiler|the [[Elite Beat Agents]]}}.
*** To explain: Roxas and Xaldin were rescued by {{spoiler|the [[Elite Beat Agents]]}}.
* [[Dramatic Wind]] - Lampshaded in the text, describing it as improbably slow-falling and dramatic.
* [[Dramatic Wind]] - Lampshaded in the text, describing it as improbably slow-falling and dramatic.
* [[Electric Boogaloo]] - 'You now have a vague inkling of Jeffiroth’s second form. Jeffiroth Squared. Jeffiroth Redux. Jeffiroth Two: Electric Boogaloo.'
* [[Oddly-Named Sequel 2: Electric Boogaloo]] - 'You now have a vague inkling of Jeffiroth’s second form. Jeffiroth Squared. Jeffiroth Redux. Jeffiroth Two: Electric Boogaloo.'
* [[Emo Teen]] - Zexy-poo.
* [[Emo Teen]] - Zexy-poo.
* [[Fauxlosophic Narration]]
* [[Fauxlosophic Narration]]
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* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]] - “Vodka. Top-shelf. Straight. On the rocks.”
* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]] - “Vodka. Top-shelf. Straight. On the rocks.”
* [[Interactive Narrator|Interactive]]/LemonyNarrator
* [[Interactive Narrator|Interactive]]/LemonyNarrator
* [[It Was a Dark And Stormy Night]] at Castle Midnight Moonraven McGee. Then again, it usually was.
* [[It Was a Dark and Stormy Night]] at Castle Midnight Moonraven McGee. Then again, it usually was.
* [[Never Say Die]] - Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!"
* [[Never Say "Die"]] - Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!"
** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later.
** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later.
* [[Oh Crap There Are Fanfics of Us]] - Let's say it's the motif.
* [[Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us]] - Let's say it's the motif.
* [[Ominous Floating Castle]]
* [[Ominous Floating Castle]]
* [[Ominous Latin Chanting]] - Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!”
* [[Ominous Latin Chanting]] - Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!”
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* [[Original Character]]
* [[Original Character]]
* [[Otaku]] - As a type of Gutless.
* [[Otaku]] - As a type of Gutless.
** [[Fan Dumb|And they rip each other apart while arguing over]] [[Spell My Name With an "S"|character name spellings.]]
** [[Fan Dumb|And they rip each other apart while arguing over]] [[Spell My Name with an "S"|character name spellings.]]
* [[Overly-Long Fighting Animation]] - As part of Jeffiroth's second form transformation.
* [[Overly-Long Fighting Animation]] - As part of Jeffiroth's second form transformation.
* [[Overly Long Name]] - '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x'''''. (sic)
* [[Overly Long Name]] - '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x'''''. (sic)
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* [[Precision F-Strike]] - Vexen executes one in chapter 12.
* [[Precision F-Strike]] - Vexen executes one in chapter 12.
* [[Prepare to Die]] - Against Xuxastell:
* [[Prepare to Die]] - Against Xuxastell:
{{quote| “Nevertheless,” Lexaeus still had his fierce gaze locked on the imposter Nobody as he pulled his tomahawk up out of the ground. “Larxene is our comrade-in-arms and we will not stand for what you have done to her. In the name of the real Organization XIII—prepare to die.”}}
{{quote|“Nevertheless,” Lexaeus still had his fierce gaze locked on the imposter Nobody as he pulled his tomahawk up out of the ground. “Larxene is our comrade-in-arms and we will not stand for what you have done to her. In the name of the real Organization XIII—prepare to die.”}}
* [[Reference Overdosed]] - It is impossible to list all of them.
* [[Reference Overdosed]] - It is impossible to list all of them.
* [[Riddle Me This]]
* [[Riddle Me This]]
Line 87: Line 85:
** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy.
** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy.
* [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]]
* [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]]
{{quote| “Don’t be so worried, gentlemen. We can utilize a Gelatinous Confectionary Transportation Vehicle.”<br />
{{quote|“Don’t be so worried, gentlemen. We can utilize a Gelatinous Confectionary Transportation Vehicle.”
“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow. }}
“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow. }}
* [[Seven Minute Lull]] - In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. [[Melodrama]] ensues.
* [[Seven Minute Lull]] - In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. [[Melodrama]] ensues.
Line 93: Line 91:
* [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Finding Nemo]], of all things: Sora's ridiculous last name in Chapter 2 is "Wanahakaruugi".
* [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Finding Nemo]], of all things: Sora's ridiculous last name in Chapter 2 is "Wanahakaruugi".
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] - Several times.
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]] - Several times.
{{quote| [Sakura-Rose:]“You’ll never defeat me, you hideous beast, because I represent all that is pure and good and light in the world, and YOU are an evil creature with no heart and I have a heart and it holds nothing but love for ALL LIVING THINGS! And you’ll never be able to scare me, either! My will is as strong as stone!”<br />
{{quote|[Sakura-Rose:]“You’ll never defeat me, you hideous beast, because I represent all that is pure and good and light in the world, and YOU are an evil creature with no heart and I have a heart and it holds nothing but love for ALL LIVING THINGS! And you’ll never be able to scare me, either! My will is as strong as stone!”
“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of [[Irony]] and a gigantic summoned slab of rock. }}
“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of [[Irony]] and a gigantic summoned slab of rock. }}
** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
* [[Significant Anagram]] - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[Draco in Leather Pants|Axel]] [[Relationship Sue|Slut]]," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
* [[Significant Anagram]] - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[Draco in Leather Pants|Axel]] [[Relationship Sue|Slut]]," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
* [[Solve the Soup Cans]]
* [[Solve the Soup Cans]]
{{quote| [[Lampshade Hanging|“Of course, this object is not going to be anywhere nearby. Oh no. It’s going to be locked up on the complete other end of the tower, behind six other locked doors, also sealed by ridiculously complicated keys and puzzles. Maybe even pieces of keys and puzzles, which we will have to run off and fetch in the most ludicrous of places before we can even think about getting out of here.”]]}}
{{quote|[[Lampshade Hanging|“Of course, this object is not going to be anywhere nearby. Oh no. It’s going to be locked up on the complete other end of the tower, behind six other locked doors, also sealed by ridiculously complicated keys and puzzles. Maybe even pieces of keys and puzzles, which we will have to run off and fetch in the most ludicrous of places before we can even think about getting out of here.”]]}}
* [[Spell My Name With an "S"]] - Invoked to get a horde of [[Otaku]] Gutless to tear each other apart over whether to use Aeris or Aerith (or Vincent/[[Gratuitous Japanese|Binsento]]).
* [[Spell My Name with an "S"]] - Invoked to get a horde of [[Otaku]] Gutless to tear each other apart over whether to use Aeris or Aerith (or Vincent/[[Gratuitous Japanese|Binsento]]).
* [[Sssssnaketalk]] - Sssssecks.
* [[Sssssnaketalk]] - Sssssecks.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] - The Riku from Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School totally isn't gay or anything.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] - The Riku from Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School totally isn't gay or anything.
Line 105: Line 103:
* [[The Joy of X]] - Final Bossing For Fun and Profit
* [[The Joy of X]] - Final Bossing For Fun and Profit
** Also, "Toadying For the Final Boss For Fun and Profit"
** Also, "Toadying For the Final Boss For Fun and Profit"
* [[The Long List]] - <ref>After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering [[Care Bears]], more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, [[Pokémon|obnoxious children wielding electric rats]] and [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card games]] and [[Beyblade|fighting tops]] and [[Digimon|digital electric rats]] and [[Danny Phantom|phantasmal powers]] and [[Captain Planet and The Planeteers|magical planet powers]] and dinosaur fairies and [[Death Note (Manga)|magic sketchbooks]] and any number of silly things, [[Dean Koontz]] novels, [[The Musical|Broadway musicals]], [[Cooking Show|television gourmet chefs]], television lawyer shows, [[Reality TV|reality shows]], [[CSI: Miami]], fast food advertisement personalities, [[Teletubbies|terrifying crack monsters with televisions in their stomachs]], terrifying crack monsters with beady eyes and no mouths and hypnotic brainwashing dances, pop singers, boy bands, pop singers who solved mysteries, boy bands who solved mysteries, rappers, [[Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs|rappers who solved mysteries about pop singers and boy bands]], and [[Lindsay Lohan]], Vexen collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of nowhere, praying to any merciful deity of the Nobodies or any kind of merciful deity at all for the sweet deliverance of sudden death.</ref>
* [[The Long List]] - <ref>After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering [[Care Bears]], more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, [[Pokémon|obnoxious children wielding electric rats]] and [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|card games]] and [[Beyblade|fighting tops]] and [[Digimon|digital electric rats]] and [[Danny Phantom|phantasmal powers]] and [[Captain Planet and the Planeteers|magical planet powers]] and dinosaur fairies and [[Death Note|magic sketchbooks]] and any number of silly things, [[Dean Koontz]] novels, [[The Musical|Broadway musicals]], [[Cooking Show|television gourmet chefs]], television lawyer shows, [[Reality TV|reality shows]], [[CSI: Miami]], fast food advertisement personalities, [[Teletubbies|terrifying crack monsters with televisions in their stomachs]], terrifying crack monsters with beady eyes and no mouths and hypnotic brainwashing dances, pop singers, boy bands, pop singers who solved mysteries, boy bands who solved mysteries, rappers, [[Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs|rappers who solved mysteries about pop singers and boy bands]], and [[Lindsay Lohan]], Vexen collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of nowhere, praying to any merciful deity of the Nobodies or any kind of merciful deity at all for the sweet deliverance of sudden death.</ref>
* [[The Man Behind the Man]] - {{spoiler|Rather, the fangirl behind the seme.}}
* [[The Man Behind the Man]] - {{spoiler|Rather, the fangirl behind the seme.}}
* [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon]] <ref>"Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?" "Check," Lexaeus nodded. "Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?" "Indeed," Vexen confirmed. "Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?" "Yep." "Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?" "We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check." "Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."</ref>
* [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon]] <ref>"Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?" "Check," Lexaeus nodded. "Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?" "Indeed," Vexen confirmed. "Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?" "Yep." "Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?" "We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check." "Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."</ref>
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* [[Title Drop]] - {{spoiler|“Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”}}
* [[Title Drop]] - {{spoiler|“Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”}}
** Also (kinda) in chapter 10:
** Also (kinda) in chapter 10:
{{quote| It was unfortunate for the Grand Master Fangirl that this sickly little idea was not any ordinary idea—it was a being that ''lacked'' a brain, a heart, a ''spine'' and most importantly, it lacked… you know.}}
{{quote|It was unfortunate for the Grand Master Fangirl that this sickly little idea was not any ordinary idea—it was a being that ''lacked'' a brain, a heart, a ''spine'' and most importantly, it lacked… you know.}}
* [[To Make a Long Story Short]] - Twelve chapters too late.
* [[To Make a Long Story Short]] - Twelve chapters too late.
* [[Tradesnark]] - [[Purple Prose|Overly Detailed Purple Description Mode]]™
* [[Tradesnark™]] - [[Purple Prose|Overly Detailed Purple Description Mode]]™
* [[Traveling At the Speed of Plot]]
* [[Traveling At the Speed of Plot]]
* [[Troll Fic]] - Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after.
* [[Troll Fic]] - Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after.
* [[Unusual Euphemism]] - "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out.
* [[Unusual Euphemism]] - "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out.
* [[Viewer-Friendly Interface]]
* [[Viewer-Friendly Interface]]
* [[Wangst]] - Zexy-poo's trademark.
* [[Wangst]] - Zexy-poo's trademark.
* [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?]] - Vexen is terrified of cake after being tortured with the ''[[Lazy Town]]'' cake song.
* [[Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?]] - Vexen is terrified of cake after being tortured with the ''[[LazyTown]]'' cake song.


{{reflist}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Those Lacking Spines]]
[[Category:Those Lacking Spines]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Kingdom Hearts/Fan Works]]

Latest revision as of 21:47, 10 September 2020

Let's just say it's not been Vexen's day.

Once upon a time, in The World That Never Was, at an indeterminate time of day, Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... you know. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a teenage fanbrat is in control and clearly doesn't realize that these three Lexaeus is MANLY), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and countless pop culture references, in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins from assault by the Semes. Who are kind of like The Heartless, but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know.

Yes, really.

Those Lacking Spines is a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction written by Gexegee of Organization VI. As a Meta Fic, it parodies just about every aspect of bad fanfiction. Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus race through alternate universes, and encounter a wide variety of Fanfic Tropes, including Slash Fics, High School AUs, Self Insert Fics, Song Fics, Cross Overs, Crack Fics, Wangst, and Canon Defilement, while keeping the plot of Gutless changing the remaining members of Organization XIII into shadows of themselves. Along the way, it viciously lampoons several other franchises, lovingly mocking everything under the sun in a brilliant, hilarious (and sometimes long-winded) romp through fanfiction itself.

Tropes used in Those Lacking Spines include:

“Nevertheless,” Lexaeus still had his fierce gaze locked on the imposter Nobody as he pulled his tomahawk up out of the ground. “Larxene is our comrade-in-arms and we will not stand for what you have done to her. In the name of the real Organization XIII—prepare to die.”

“Don’t be so worried, gentlemen. We can utilize a Gelatinous Confectionary Transportation Vehicle.”
“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow.

[Sakura-Rose:]“You’ll never defeat me, you hideous beast, because I represent all that is pure and good and light in the world, and YOU are an evil creature with no heart and I have a heart and it holds nothing but love for ALL LIVING THINGS! And you’ll never be able to scare me, either! My will is as strong as stone!”
“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of Irony and a gigantic summoned slab of rock.

    • Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
  • Significant Anagram - Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "Axel Slut," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
  • Solve the Soup Cans

“Of course, this object is not going to be anywhere nearby. Oh no. It’s going to be locked up on the complete other end of the tower, behind six other locked doors, also sealed by ridiculously complicated keys and puzzles. Maybe even pieces of keys and puzzles, which we will have to run off and fetch in the most ludicrous of places before we can even think about getting out of here.”

It was unfortunate for the Grand Master Fangirl that this sickly little idea was not any ordinary idea—it was a being that lacked a brain, a heart, a spine and most importantly, it lacked… you know.

  1. ↑ After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering Care Bears, more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, obnoxious children wielding electric rats and card games and fighting tops and digital electric rats and phantasmal powers and magical planet powers and dinosaur fairies and magic sketchbooks and any number of silly things, Dean Koontz novels, Broadway musicals, television gourmet chefs, television lawyer shows, reality shows, CSI: Miami, fast food advertisement personalities, terrifying crack monsters with televisions in their stomachs, terrifying crack monsters with beady eyes and no mouths and hypnotic brainwashing dances, pop singers, boy bands, pop singers who solved mysteries, boy bands who solved mysteries, rappers, rappers who solved mysteries about pop singers and boy bands, and Lindsay Lohan, Vexen collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of nowhere, praying to any merciful deity of the Nobodies or any kind of merciful deity at all for the sweet deliverance of sudden death.
  2. ↑ "Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?" "Check," Lexaeus nodded. "Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?" "Indeed," Vexen confirmed. "Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?" "Yep." "Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?" "We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check." "Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."
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