Homestuck/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
< Homestuck
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> SEEK WEBCOMIC-RELATED HILARITIES

My, there's quite a list of knee-slappers! Feel free to examine them in more detail.

Due to the constantly updating nature of Homestuck, all spoilers are left unmarked.

NOTE: Should this page be categorized into Acts like the Nightmare Fuel and Awesome pages? Just saying.

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  Yeah, there was pretty much no way there wasn't going to be a bunch of puppets in there.

  "Congratulations, you advance your matching skill to the new level: YUKON HERO: LEGACY OF THE FROSTBITE AMPUTEE."

  TG: if kangaroo rat yiff twice plz

 TG: thats what you see / a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together / radially effervescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine / turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong

    • Made more hilarious by the ending, that being that adiosToreador blocks Dave at the end of that conversation, which is the opposite of how many conversations with the trolls go.
  • The bit with WV's can town was a command, but AR has a completely random freakout:

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  Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly.

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  • SHE HAS WHAT?!
  • Vriska ask her MAGIC CUE BALL (whose answers can only be seen by x-ray vision... or vision eight-fold) if she should be worried about Terezi's threat.

 YES

Ok, little ball. Fine. If you're so smart, then answer this! How is it going to happen!

HOW????????

I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

Cue the ball exploding in her face.
  • The last update Andrew did before leaving for a week begins here and ends with, uh, this. But it easily overlaps with Nightmare Fuel and possibly CMOH and/or Tear Jerker, but really it's just such an over the top scene that it's simply incredibly hilarious in spite of all that. What makes it even better is the aforementioned fact that it's the last update in a week. Andrew's comment in the thread:

 But I guess all this can be discussed into the ground in the coming week. Over what shall heretofore be known as THE WEEK OF THE GREAT ROBOSMOOCH OF 2010.

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 AT: i THINK THIS, iS,

AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

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  • The narration when Tavros crashes through Vriska's bedroom wall is hilarious.
    • He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all.
    • Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?
    • Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy.
    • Followed by this kiss
  • From the Homestuck wiki, the plot summaries for each episode of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff are quite a delight to behold. Lordy, I chortled for days.
  • Eridan and Feferi: Do something ridiculous. B<>NP
  • Spades Slick is not very good at giving sympathy.

  There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.

 Goddamn troll kids. Every time you turn around they're smoochin' each other. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.

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F 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

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C banned F from responding to memo.

      • And then this happens:

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F609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

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F banned C from responding to memo.



F closed memo.

 EB: you mean platonic hate?

    • "HUMAN ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD."
    • "See you soon!"
    • Reexamining the video, John is wearing a spade shirt for most of it. Karkat develops/realizes Kismetic feelings as he watches. Now go to Terezi watching Dave....who has a heart shirt on.
  • WH4T!!! Just... yeah. Terezi opens the memo to discuss the stupidity of Karkat's plan to troll the humans and it only gets better from there. Karkat from closer and closer in the past keeps on interrupting until he comes over and starts messing with Terezi's keypad. They ban and unban and reban each other until finally at the end:

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 Look at this mess.

Will you just LOOK at this slightly bigger mess than usual.

 TT: that's me! i am the rose human. look at me, i am so smart with all these snooty words and complicated things to say.

TT: i am the queen of books.

TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof

TT: And Difficult To Engage With

TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To Be My Friend

  A [1]

    • Mine had some from Aradia:

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    • Mine was from Terezi:

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    • I ordered the God Tier!John one:
—Actually it said which makes things even funnier in my book.
    • I got a Hero of Mind God Tier hoodie. My message was from Vriska:

  

 

  • Don't forget to mention this token.

  

 

  

  • This update. You have to laugh at how such a simple phrase, such as, "I will make them pay" (for telling a minor "sekret") is so unbelievably bone chillingly scary when coming from Vriska.
  • How did Vriska live without Nicolas Cage?
  • So a coolkid, an ectobiologist and a troll all join a memo...
    • What makes this one great? You can tell that finally, Karkat isn't just being crabby and running all caps just out of habit. No, for the larger portion of the memo, you can clearly picture him abso-fucking-lutely furious for so many reasons.
      • Dave's reaction right after Karkat's opening speech

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    • Then you have Dave and John talking about how some of the Troll girls may like them

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    • Because Dave is completely and totally correct.
  • Karkat's reaction to finding a bucket in Alterniabound. (It's in the room where you see Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.)
    • Speaking of which... Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.
      • Much of Alterniabound is hilarious, especially Tavros disregarding Equius' warnings about stairs and pretty much all of Karkat's conversations with the other trolls, particularly Nepeta, Equius, and Gamzee.
      • Equius needs his own mention.

 

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      • "You cannot be Future Aradia because in the future, Future Aradia has exploded!"
        • It's even better in hindsight when the explosion's cause is revealed... and turns out to be a good thing.
      • Gamzee's dancing.
  • The "meal" Nannaquin made for John, and his reaction.
  • '

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 [[color:#a10000:AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m

AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!

AA: blah W41T blee BLUH!@#$%^&*()_+

AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?*rand(413^612)

AA: oh look and now i suddenly refuse to type zeroes in my sentences

AA: isnt that crazy! who thought that was even a possibility

AA: bslick never would have imagined THAT little vestibule of probability was tucked somewhere in his huge glistening blow sack

AA: ribbit ribbit ribbit

AA: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT

AA: I JUST CONTROLLED THE RIBBITS AND I DID IT DELIBERATELY]]

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 "How can shaving cream be so flammable?"

How indeed, brave heroes.

How indeed.

  • One of the salamander's reactions to getting 1000 boondollars from John for a "rumpled head object."

 Salamander: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

Salamander: (faster) THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE MY NEW RUMPLED HEAD OBJECT, AND I LOVE YOU. (salamander is now fast it's practically seizing with glee)

    • Not to mention the haberdasher selling them--they're unsightly, too! The list includes: Rumpled Head Object, Even Rumplier Head Object, and lastly, The Rumpliest Head Object Of All.
  • Another one by Terezi and Dave:

 













  Karkat cannot be conveyed with a more detailed portrait yet. He is too angry, and is forced to look like shit. Maybe later if he can manage to calm down.

 Come on buddy, turn that 0_0 into a 0u0!

wait

No that looks stupid.

Oh well.

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  • From [S Wake,] when Tavros confronts Vriska, she gives him the same thumbs-down Bro gave Dave. Tavros responds by holding up the severed head of one of his host plushes and making the neck-slashing gesture Dave made. Vriska responds by waving around his severed legs, making the same gesture at her waist.
    • The crazy look on her face was just priceless.
    • Bec Noir nonchalantly kicking Dream!Nepeta over was surprisingly slapstick-y for an otherwise depressing event. This troper blames the accompanying sound effect. D
      • Likewise when Vriska slaps Tavros. It's in the same art style as the ROBO-SLAP. Of course the funny stopped when she impaled him.
        • Bahahahahaha--awwwww....
  • Kanaya's conversation with Jade, particularly the last line.
  • We finally learn what Eridan's planet was, and more to the point that he spent most of the game genociding the angels which lived there. They may have been his consorts. Nobody would visit his world nor would he leave since nobody would take up killing duty in his place. Oh, and they're tough enough to take sustained fire from a legendary weapon. It's even funnier when Karkat tries to explain how he screwed up and Eridan doesn't get it.
  • The comic takes a sudden turn to the grimdark, but veers out again when we see Karkat's reaction to what just happened.
    • Especially funny because it's almost a meta joke - that's basically everyone's reaction.
  • In [S Kanaya: return to core], the description when examining the dragonsuit[3] is one of the sweeter finds.
  • We interrupt the horrific current events to bring you the adventures of Terezi Pyrope, Ace Detective.

  Adios, sweet Toreadoormat.

    • Six panels of her preparing to give him mouth-to-mouth so far and no contact yet. Thank you, Hussie. We needed this after the Gamzee thing.

 This is not going to be pretty. But what are friends for if they

cant smooch each others butchered corpses when the need arises?

  Those redneck jokes were so corny and stupid. You secretly suspected your father was mostly arrested by the man's mustache. Maybe he fantasized about shaving the man's Egregious furry lip? This seems like a reasonable theory to you.

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    • Just before that:

 AT: cERTAIN FEATURES OF YOUR PALE ANATOMY MAY SERVE AS THE MARSH MALLOW INGREDIENT, nEEDED FOR THE MOLTEN SNACK,

AT: i WILL PROVIDE THE FUDGE, }:D

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  • Doc attempting to be civil to Spades Slick. While Slick is clubbing his enormous white head with his trademark horse hitcher.

 D1D H3 4CTU4LLY S4Y TH4TY

N1N CONF1D3NC3

    • And let's not forget evidence that he really was synthesized from Lil' Cal.:

 C4N YOU COPY 3X4CTLY WH4T H3 S41DHC4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS?

 NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInGTMoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy

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R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN.NFGC: 1 JUST THOUGHT 1 WOULD 4DD ON3 L4ST R3M4RK TO TH1S S1LL1N3SS

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  • When he crashes into the private conversation of Rose and Jade, it is as hilarious as it is creepy.

 FGC: 4 R3M4RK OF R34SSUR4NC3! HCGC: OHH >:?

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    • and shortly after:

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  • If music counts... the Nic Cage Song.
  • While the big multi-story flash from 07/02/11 is mostly Heartwarming Moments and tear jerkers, one segments stands out for being funny as balls: the Liv Tyler and Courtyard Droll Chase Hour! Guest featuring WV.
  • Dave and Rose's increasingly inaccurate sports metaphors in the 07/14/11 update.
    • Was anyone else hearing Tim and Eric's 'SPORTS!' song playing in their head as they read that?
  • Before all of the unpleasantness on the asteroid happened, Jade gave Karkat a mildly self-deprecating phrase to use as their chat password. Karkat...blows it a little out of proportion.

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  • Jade wapping Bec Noir upside the head with a newspaper.
  • Gamzee admitting to wanting to make out with Tavros. It comes almost entirely out of left field and Tavros is completely dumbfounded about it.
    • Gamzee referring to a light that makes him wince. If only he knew.
    • The rapping beforehand is also pretty hilarious.

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  • Despite being a gigantic Tear Jerker for Karkat, the 8/2/11 updates manage to be tragically absurd.

 CG: I THINK I GAVE HIM CANCER.

CG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.

CG: SORRY.

  Hussie in Alt Text: Ah-ha! Caught red-handed you bastard. You stop clogging up my story with your troll fanfiction this instaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

  That was not the right door.

  • AH's monologue as he sneaks up on Scratch is pretty amusing as well.

  My heartbeat falls in rhythm with the clock as I draw close to my prey. I leave nothing to chance, for you see it is the most dangerous prey of all, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders who wont shut up. Wait for it, Hussie. Wait for it...

  Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style.

 See? Even that little girl has had enough of your shit. Run, Aradia's ancestor! Run!!!! You have locked up your last asian schoolgirl, you sick fuck.

Oh don't you flop around at me like that. Are you listening little man?!

    • And sure enough, all that flopping around gave a couple of people an idea...
      • And then Hussie made that pic his Twitter feed background.
  • Shooooooooooooosh. *pap pap*
    • In the flash beforehand, everyone in the vicinity 'fills a quadrant' with Gamzee, but gets stopped by Karkat. Kanaya attempts to ashen-mediate between Karkat and Gamzee, Terezi tries to go caliginous for him, and Karkat is later revealed to be pale with Gamzee, which leaves Sollux as flushed. Instead, he has mixed flushed/caliginous feelings, and starts yelling at what he thinks is Gamzee... but is facing the wrong way, and is yelling at Li'l Cal instead. It's hilarious.
    • The shoosh/pap moment also manages to make this bit from a few updates back Hilarious in Hindsight as well:

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  "Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"

  "Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always. "

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  • Speaking of bullseyes:

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  • Meta example: go to the Betty Crocker Wikipedia page. Scroll down to 'in popular culture.' Suddenly realise how utterly absurd Homestuck truly is.
    • Saved due to it constantly being removed:

 A fictionalized version, of the Betty Crocker character, is a supporting character in the webcomic Homestuck, wherein she is sometimes referred to as the "Batter Witch". This portrayal is married to a fictionalized version of Mark Twain in the early 20th century. It is strongly implied that she's a malevolent, nigh-immortal alien from another universe, and is using her corporate empire to control the population, and to bring about the ruin of this universe.

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  • Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of this conversation.

 
    • This troper busted out laughing and doubled over at that line.
    • And immediately before that:

 









  • The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.

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  S PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID L

  • Dirk and the Autoresponder working together.

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  • The truth about uranianUmbra:

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  • Roxy recommends that Jane loosen up:

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    • also

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  • To paraphrase...

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    • It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
      • It gets even funnier when you think about it: Karkat doesn't even really react or yell at her for it other than just stare at her. That means he's used to it because SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE.
  • This update to this update. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.

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    • You cannot beat Strider in a counter-troll-off. HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS!
    • This is eventually followed by Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about their desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
    • Karkat getting wrapped in Dave's cape, forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
  • John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:

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  Hussie: You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.

 Hussie: How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...

Hussie: WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.

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 @andrewhussie: a line i seriously just wrote in reality: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."

  • Another gem between Dirk and Jake:

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  • The entire conversation between Dirk and Jake is made more hilarious with the reveal that "Dirk" is just a figment dreamed up by Jake. Jake is having an argument with himself. And losing. Badly.
    • Not to mention that it seems he's having said argument in front of Aranea.
  • Jack: Start Jailbreak Adventure. Complete with Lampshade Hanging and Self Deprecation all over the place.
    • CD's attempt at sending Jack help along with the message, "You're welcome." With a picture of him winking.
    • The Running Gag of Jack killing the guards making his own escape harder.

 That is not how you convince someone to do something. You're supposed to save the stabbing until AFTER you intimidate him into doing what you want! How exactly is a dead guy supposed to pick up some keys for you?!

 uu: IT'S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE.

uu: HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD.

TT: (link).

 

 
  • _(^q^)_
    • Throughout the conversation, her various creative snoring sounds

 



 Meenah: now were ghosts the end

  BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

  • Aranea is utterly enraged by the above event, and sarcastically gives Better Than It Sounds summaries of the lives of all the A2 Ancestors. Ampora and Makara's really stand out though:

 ARANEA: Ampora was a pirate. No8ody liked him. He killed a lot of people, 8ut was later executed 8ecause he was una8le to tell a funny joke. What else needs to 8e said? That's right. Nothing.

ARANEA: Makara was the guy who didn't like his joke. He was terri8le and so is his story. Period.


Meta & Fan Content

  • If you're willing to brave Fur Affinity, then adiosToreador getting counter-trolled until he fled in terror is a sight to behold. The following pages contain roughly a third of the comments he left there, and though Hussie himself wasn't behind it they're still painfully funny. 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14
  • Not long after Alternia was released, Andrew announced that another album was already in the works. What did it turn out to be? A Squiddles album!
  • In somewhat of a meta-example, a fan on the forums by the name of Lotus wrote a 15 page research paper on the ship teasing between John and Rose. The panel immediately after this featured a lotus in the book Rose was reading, before proceeding to be a ridiculously ship teasing conversation.
  • As long as we're going meta, this poor guy's reaction to the Nightmare Fuel known as [s] Jade: Wake Up, in a schadenfreude sort of way.

 kyouger: stop

  Hussie's Twitter feed: well that didn't work

    • To give an idea as to exactly what "soon" means in this context, using time codes on forum posts, this Troper figured out that Newgrounds went down in about 3 minutes. From FGC: 1T W1LL B3 FUN >:] posting to Newgrounds' demise.

 jephjacques @andrewhussie the internet is going to explode when you hit 100%, you fucker

andrewhussie @jephjacques i'm going to be walking away from it in slow motion smoking a cigarette

 Andrew Hussie: oh no

oh no……………

 andrewhussie: Guys, I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that Dante Basco, aka Rufio from Hook, is currently reading Homestuck.

andrewhussie: I wonder what he will think when he discovers me kissing his corpse?

andrewhussie: Assuming he makes it that far. Do Hollywood superstars even have that kind of time??

andrewhussie: I have to make sure I don't scare him off or anything. Do NOT fuck this up Hussie. Pull it together. There is a lot riding on this.

 andrewhussie: And just like that, I have already gone too far. [1]

    • Hell, Dante's liveblog alone is filled with crowning moments of funny as he reminds us all of precisely how confusing the first few acts are, which combined with the undoubtedly strange feeling of thousands of people egging you on and encouraging you leaves him hilarious nonplussed about the entire thing.

 And yes, I saw the “Hello Dante”… I greeted him on twitter… I have to admit, that’s pretty dope. I wonder if he makes this first part so hard to get as an obstacle for those not worthy to get the story… a somewhat right (sic) of passage… maybe I’m just rambling and have no idea what I’m talking about… Back to reading.

  • While we're looking at Tumblr, you should also check out What the Fuck is Homestuck, where one girl chronicles her reactions right throughout the entirety of the comic, only catching up early into Act 6. She loves using a copious amount of gifs from all sorts of sources, especially when she overexcited.
    • It's especially funny from the perspective of one who's read the comic: right from meeting him, she hates Gamzee, which just makes her reaction to his freakout in Act 5 Act 2 a hilarious Foregone Conclusion.
    • Not to mention her reaction to finding out her starsign is Capricorn, as well.

  TH1S SH1RT SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS, BUT DONT COUNT ON 1T TO M4SK TH3 PUTR1D ST3NCH OF YOUR D3C31T FROM TH3 PROS3CUT1ON, H3H3H3H3H3: Correct! My star sign is Capricorn! However, Gamzee is- what- wait... oh, oh FUCK ME.

 SIARH: [...] Sagittarius

SIARH: …wait

SIARH: FUCK

  • Good lard... Jegus
  • Meta example here: this video seem innocent enough to the casual viewer, but for any Homestuck fan...
  • Another meta example: this article about the Juggalos had someone comment in character as Gamzee (find it near the top of the third page of comments). Then, Karkat showed up. Then Nepeta joined in on the commenting, followed by Kanaya.
  • Andrew Hussie's personality in general; you may bear witness to his humour on formspring or other social networking sites.

> Go back

  1. ↑ [sic]
  2. ↑ To see the sequence, examine the flagpole in the village.
  3. ↑ \The red thing next to the teleporter
  4. ↑ most likely her sylladex
  5. ↑ with Equius's shades
  6. ↑ "This is stupid."
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