Phelous/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
/wiki/Phelouscreator
  • Phelous's epic Freak-Out upon discovering that the killer in Ill Always Know What You Did Last Summer was a zombie fisherman? A zombie fisherman!? A ZOMBIE FISHERMAN!?, as well as a moment during his review of The Midnight Meat Train: the sharply dressed killer stands up, straightens his tie and gets on the eponymous subway train. Phelous sets the whole thing to the theme from Get Smart. It fits. Perfectly.
    • Speaking of "Phelous Knows What You Shouldn't Have Watched Last Summer", the start of the review merits a mention:

Phelous: "This movie sucks."
The End

  • Another moment- this from the The Ruins review, when the corpse of Mathias' brother is found.

Phelous: "I think he's deeeeeead."

  • During his review of Fear Dot Com, he gets progressively more and more confused and infuriated with the evil website's nonsensical actions and statements, until...

Evil Website Woman: *seductively* "Do you want to hurt me?"
Phelous: "Yes! Holy Shit YES!!"

    • His running gag of calling the in-film website Fear Dot Com Dot Com.
    • Not to mention Dena Natali's part in the end skit. Her performance as the aforementioned Evil Website Woman achieves the right balance of funny and creepy.
  • At the end of Phelous's review of The Deaths of Ian Stone, Phelous gets killed by The Nostalgia Critic.

Phelous: Doug, you're funny!
Nostalgia Critic: Doug Funnie!? (Screams Like a Little Girl and shoots Phelous)

Kermit: "Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what's on the other si-"
Phelous: "Cut it out!" (flings Kermit away with a large thud)

Sam the Eagle: "You are all weirdos."

  • The end skit from Troll 3 has toy bulldozers rushing to attack Phelous. The sound and editing are timed perfectly.
  • The robot scene in the other Troll 3, set perfectly in time to a variant of the Team Rocket motto from Pokémon.
    • His take on the abrupt change in camera angle between lines:

Phelous: "Take her away! TAKE HER AWAY! Right now! RIGHT NOW!"

Protagonist: "Shit!"
Computer in film: "Shit not recognised."
Phelous: "I guess that's true of everyone who worked on this movie."

    • When a computer named Hal denies the protagonist's request's by saying "I can't let you do that," Phelous responds with this cut:

Phelous: "No! I'm not using that Space Odyssey clip. It's what they want!"

  • Playing "The Syncopated Clock" for the whole of the thirty second + shot of Madeline Stowe driving, while counting the seconds, in Pulse 2003.
  • Also deserves a Crowning Moment for the beginning of his Pulse 2006 review, where he combines three of the more prominent ads that played on Blip at the time (Fibre One, Madden NFL 11 - "Put your hands up", and The Pillars of the Earth) by having a skit of "I swear by all the advertisements, I will never care about your fibre."
    • Fourth advert (Yoplait) gets a mention as he walks away, saying he's going to go lose weight by eating yogurt.
    • The interruption by Jew Wario is hilarious. "Play. Play. Play. Play button!"
    • His dubbing-in of Arvin Sloane's dialogue over Ron Rifkin's character:

"The only person I blame... is Josh." "YOU SIMPLE-MINDED DILETTANTE!"
"I'm not imagining this!"

    • Rifkin gets out of his chair. "A few days ago, I would have done anything to keep you alive. And now, I don't care."
    • His reaction to Boone saying that keeping viruses on your computer is like "keeping nukes in your closet."

Phelous: "I'm purposely downloading viruses off the internet! I'M SUCH A BADASS! Oh, what a rush!"

  • From Pulse 2: when Michelle starts cleaning up the apartment, "Take on Me" begins to play, but Phelous cuts it off:

Phelous: "NO! She doesn't get "Take on Me!" She doesn't deserve it."

  • From the review of Pulse 3:
    • After mocking Friend-Meets-World's using the Wii version of Mortal Kombat Armageddon to play against his girlfriend (the Wii version doesn't have online multiplayer), Phelous makes a MK joke and expects Sub-Zero to hit him. Instead, Sub-Zero glitches into Ermac (an extremely nerdy inside joke amongst the Mortal Kombat fanbase).
    • His impersonation of what two people having sex over a webcam looks like: pushing the "insert" key over and over again, yelling "Insert! Insert! INSERT!".
    • The zombie fisherman was nothing compared to Pulse 3:

Phelous: "The internet ghost of a record player? The internet ghost of a record player?! THE INTERNET GHOST OF A RECORD PLAYER?!? IT MADE ME DO THE OVERHEAD SPINNING SCREAM THING AGAIN!!"

Phelous as Angry Nerd: "Shattered Memories? More like shattered asshole! I'd rather play a different game than play this game!"
Phelous as The Nostalgia Critic: "Hello, Silent Hill shattered my memories! I don't remember it so you don't have to!"
Phelous as The Cinema Snob: "In my expert opinion, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is a game <pause> that came out on the <pause> in December 2009."
Phelous as Irate Gamer: "Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is the perfect predecessor to the first Silent Hill game."

Phelous: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

      • "SILENT HILL! SILENT HILL! SILENT HILL! SILENT HILL!..."
    • At the end, he watches the review again and is confused because of his lack of death. His video self then starts laughing demonically and prepares to kill him, just to be shot to death by Phelous with a zapper. After reviving and multiplying several times, he's finally dead, but Phelous sees one more inconsistency...

Phelous: "Wait, how can I shoot him through that? It's a flat screen monitor...and that's the only problem I have with that."

Phelous: *crying* "Why won't it leave me aloonneee!" *clears throat*

    • The entire death scene of the hornets coming out of the social worker set to (what else?) one of Nicholas Cage's infamous moments in The Wicker Man:

"OH, NO! NOT THE BEES-!"
Phelous: *Deadpan* "Hornets."
"NOT THE BEES-!"
Phelous *Deadpan*: "Hornets."

  • The Anaconda review. Yeah, the whole review.
    • One moment that had this editor howling was when the boat encounters a "snake fence".

Terri Flores (JLo): "That thing must be there for a reason!"
Sarone: "Yeah, to keep us out."
Terri: "I'm talking about upsetting the ecological balance of this river."
Phelous: "'Cause you see this is a naturally formed fence and just stop talking, Lopez."

Phelous: "Oh yeah, and it talks, because THAT'S EVEN MORE REAL!"

John Rhys-Davies: "...You will do your job, or the only thing you'll be supervising is a proctologist removing my Ax from your rectum!"

Phelous: "Oh no, no, no, NO! What am I gonna do now!? *resigned* Looks like I'm gonna be walking."

Sub-Zero: *triumphantly* "That one is for the guy up in the sky! (Calmer) That one is for you, Johnny Cage. Wait... is he dead still? I don't remember with him anymore. (To the camera) Anyway, I'm gonna visit Reptile before he turns into shitty CGI..."

Harry: *staring at a bloody wall where dogs were once chained up* "What the..? What is it?"
Phelous: "Blood. Hope it's not Cheryl's blood."

    • And later...

Cybil: "Have you got a gun?"
Phelous!Harry: "I got a shotgu- oh, wait, no I don't."

    • He also spends a lot of time calling the Air Screamers names and yelling at them for coming out of nowhere and kicking him in the head and nicknames the Rompers "Humpers" due to their attack animation.
    • The Orgasmic Chainsaw was hilarious, too.
    • When Harry is trying to explain the Otherworld to Cybil, he dubs in "Must be on drugs" after every sentence.
    • When he's in the restroom (I believe that's where he was, anyway), and hears a child crying from offscreen: "SHUT UP!" His tone when he yells it is hilarious.
  • His reaction to the Ceiling Fan kill in Death Row

Phelous: "Oh no! A butter knife!" *Cuts his own head off with it.* "A ghost made that work somehow, it's not stupid!"

    • Also, the numerous Titus references.
  • His theory in Dead and Deader that it revolved around "Harbor Patrol" (An actress who played a Harbor Patrol agent in House of the Dead, an AMS Colonel in House of the Dead 2, and a mad scientist in Dead and Deader), in which he suspects the universe diverged when she got resurrected; she'd either be the leader of the heroes in 2 and lose her legs, or keep her legs but be a mad scientist in Dead and Deader. It's brought up at the end of the episode, where Phelous wonders what would've happened if he hadn't chosen to review the bad movies.

Alternate!Phelous: "I NEED A BAD MOVIE TO REVIEW! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

  • Uwe Boll's outburst of "Dun dun dun dunnnnn! Curien!" at the end of the House of the Dead: Funny Version made the whole movie almost worth it to Phelous. Almost.
    • And now it seems that it'll be a running gag with him.
    • In the same review, Boll's audio commentary is ridiculously unprofessional. He accepts phone calls and eats snacks while recording. Phelous, of course, wonders whether this was supposed to be 'funny'. Cut to... him belching and eating crisps as an unseen audience laughs at every single move he makes.
      • What really sells this part is how Phelous took some of the most overused comedy clichés (burping and laugh tracks) and actually made them funny.
  • From his Black Christmas review:

Phelous: "Christmas rape horn?"

Guy: "There'd be blood... look at all the blood! Someone else did this, it'd track blood all over."
Phelous: *stunned* "Don't ever talk again. What the hell was that?"

"Baguette Croissant! Baguette croissant baguette croissant baguette croissant!"
"Croissanthole."
"Baguette? I'll Croissant."

D1: "GRENADES!!! DON'T!!!! WORK THAT WAY!!!!!"

      • Followed up with Sadpanda fainting as Welshy springs up, asking "They don't?", with D1 just calmly responding "no" a few seconds after.
    • The beginning of the review, when Phelous announces the name of the movie.

Phelous: "It's called The Horde."
Sadpanda: "No no, you're already wrong, Phelous. It's called La Horde, not 'The Horde'."
D1: "And what does that translate to?"
Sadpanda: "'The Horde'."
Phelous: "I hate you, Panda."

    • After the group discovers that The Scrappy is the only survivor of the movie:

Phelous: "Oh well, at least after that she dies."
Sadpanda: "Well, not really. We don't see her get killed an-"
Phelous: "She died."
Sadpanda: "I mean, maybe there will be a sequel-"
Phelous: "She died!"
Sadpanda: "Never mind."

  • In the Chain Letter review, Luke realises that the two can just talk through the camera like the other reviewers do instead, then he follows up with a very brief Film Conscience.
  • Adding Guile's Theme Goes With Everything to the scene in Quarantine where the cameraman beats a zombie to death with it.
  • From the Birdemic review: "This morning, flocks of seagulls- and I ra-a-an, I ran so far awa-a-ay!"
    • The ending of that review also qualifies. All 4 minute 36 seconds worth of it.
      • His reaction to the scene in which Rod and Nathalie walk on the beach (or more specifically, his reaction to the filmmakers' failure to edit out the sound of the ocean, which drowns out the dialogue): he devolves into a fit of angrish, growling and roaring at the camera; this quickly cuts to a shot of him with a straight face, saying, "The editing is bad."
    • In a call back to La Horde:

"BIRDS!!! DON'T!!! WORK THAT WAY!!!"

    • He claims to interview Rod, the woodenly-acted protagonist of film, only to bring out an actual wooden rod.

Phelous: "Whoa, Rod, where was all this energy when you were filming??"

  • His review of The Human Centipede has a few of them:
    • An 'advertisement' for 'Lock You Inside Doors': "It's inconvenient!"
    • Around that little sketch, the dramatic musical stings that keep popping up when the doctor says or does something.
    • "DUH-DUH-DUH-DUNNN! You are the Curien piece!"
    • The return of Hide and Seek, complete with what can only be described as a weird, disjointed acoustic version playing behind it.
    • Sad Panda playing an acoustic rendition of the infamous Troll 2 "OH MY GODDDD!" line in place of the usual Channel Awesome jingle.
  • In Swamp Zombies, Phelous does a great impersonation of Mr. Mackey from South Park.
  • The title image for Automaton Transfusion says "One of the films in decades." This troper literally laughed out loud.
  • Watching "New Phelous" attempt to read/pronounce "The Magic of Scheherazade"
    • "And now, let's review 'The Magic of Ooh-Sha-Her-Zid-Zad-Doo'... 'Ooh-sha-hair-raz-add-doo'... 'Ooh-sha-rizza-had-sah-doo'... 'Jah-rer-rer-rer-rer-zad'... 'J-j-jeh-her-eh-zir-rad-der'... 'Ooh-ja-ja-her-ah-zer-aid'... Ok, this font is stupid."
      • Followed by Phelous D1 scolding him for "...making fun of my favorite game, The Magic of... ...My favorite game!"
    • In yet another Take That, New Phelous reviews Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game exactly like The Irate Gamer did.
  • His Shout-Out to The Cinema Snob from Resident Evil: Afterlife:

Phelous: "Personally I don't really care about her videos until she does her v-log on Crystal Pepsi."

Phelous: "And wait a second. Is the boogeyman...A ZOMBIE FISHERMAN!?"

  • Boogeyman 2. Phelous discovers that the hospital director is played by Tobin Bell. Cue the Saw dialogue every time he talks!
  • Boogeyman 3 featured Erin Cahill as the lead role. When the cards are down and she is the only one left, Phelous says that there's only one thing she can do; morph into the Pink Ranger.
  • Phelous clearly is on a roll once he starts reviewing Ulli Lommel's godawful original The Boogeyman series. His trademark use of meta-humour really serves him well here, since Lommel just kept splicing footage from the first movie together with new scenes, then called it a sequel. Particular highlights include:
    • The Boogeyman: A little boy, after sticking his head through a window and shouting "BOOGEYMAN!", gets killed pathetically when the window half-heartedly closes on his neck. According to Phelous, that death scene almost made up for everything else. Almost.
    • Boogeyman II: Phelous' sister, Kyna, has a cameo in the end skit. The ensuing deaths... really must be seen to be believed. They involve a car exhaust pipe... okay... and a toothbrush!
    • Return of the Boogeyman. Too many to mention, but here's one of the best:

Annie: "I finally won the battle over evil. The man with no face is gone. Now I must try on my stokings, to prove to myself one last time that I am free."
Phelous: "But now she's become the woman with no legs! Y'know what, that actually made too much sense for this movie."

    • He gets increasingly frustrated at the lack of continuity between movies... they even got the main character's name wrong! This culminates in his fake Retcon of the first Boogeyman review:

Phelous: "Hello, Phil? Philip? Are you there?"
Past!Phelous: "Philip?"
Phelous: "Yeah, that's your name now."

  • The Big Crocodile Scene Happening in the Cabin Fever review.
  • Pick any scene in the Meow Mix review. Anything is hilarious when it comes from a fluffy kitty.
  • This brief callback:

Chaos D 1: "SUNSETS!!! DON'T!!! WORK THAT WAY!!! No, seriously, uh, Phelan, you and Welshy gotta stop trying to shoehorn in that catchphrase for me to say. It's fuckin' stupid."

  • Playing "Gonna Fly Now" over a preparation montage in A Serbian Film.
  • Putting Danny Elfman's Batman theme and the 1960's Batman TV series to awesomely comedic use during his Jeepers Creepers II review.
  • Making up lyrics to the musical theme for Triangle
  • His video of watching the Smallville series finale and being horrified to see that Clark Kent becomes BATMAN! Of course, that's not what REALLY happens, but it does in this video and it's hi-larious!
    • Also, his constant laughter and screaming throughout the finale.
  • The cameos celebrating Paris Hilton's death in House of Wax, followed by Doug Walker appearing and being sickened by their celebration of death.
    • Also Doug getting angry at Phelous for reviewing Mac and Me, and whispering that he's not actually mad because he never wanted to review it.
    • Film Brain had the best line about Paris' death.

Film Brain: "She died as she lived, impaled by a long, smooth shaft."

    • Some runners-up:

Oancitizen: "I welcome the deaths of other human beings that I don't know!"

Sad Panda Q and A: "I'm smiling! So weird." *later* "I'm smiling. It hurts."

Linkara: *reading Silent Hill* "Huh? Oh...yay."

    • Brad Jones trying to hang himself, only to fall to the floor, cough for several seconds, yell, "fuck that!" and then stumble away, dragging the rope behind him.
    • Also from House of Wax, whenever the killer, who bears a resemblance to Tommy Wiseau, is seen, Phelous dubs in dialogue from The Room and The Tommy Wi-Show.
  • In the A Nightmare on Elm Street review, there is a moment were a second Phelous appears in the mirror with a really funny expression.
    • "TEDDY! TEDDY! Brother of the Freddy!"
    • Phelous interpreting Teddy as being whiny and angsty, to the point of dubbing Simple Plan's "Untitled" (How could this happen to me) over a scene where he's yelling at Nancy, then lampshading it.

Phelous: "Oh cool, they made Krueger such a whiny bitch I thought to use the Simple Plan song for him. Fantastic."

  • Phelous pissing Michael Myers off in the Halloween: Resurrection review by singing Silver Shamrock.
  • The various Aladdin jokes in the Shredder review (the male lead being Aladdin's voice actor).

Aladdin: "You, the world's oldest living virgin?"
Jafar: "I'm saving myself!"
Aladdin: "Yeah, for a farm animal."
*Iago freaks out*

  • Phelous' summary of the entire movie Five Across the Eyes. This troper was in tears the whole time.
  • The Humains crossover review with Benzaie is full of win.
    • Whenever something stupid happens, they do a weird Kermit-style arm-waving while saying "Humains!"
    • The "French Shia Labeouf".
  • Pick any part of his Julie & Jack review together with Obscurus Lupa (along with some unexpected Tear Jerker at the end). It helps that their vastly different styles mesh surprisingly well.
  • Phelous D1 returns again at the end of the Hostel III review! ...and Phelous doesn't care.

D1: "Ha ha ha ha! You never should have installed that tatoo scanner on your door, Phelous!"
Phelous: "No."
D1: "Uh... anyway, welcome back to the Phelous in a Hat and Trenchcoat saga! I'm taking you to the elite 'hunt people who are bound up' club!"
Phelous: "No."
D1: "BUT I-"
Phelous: "No."
D1: "Come on I've got a really good storyline this time, honest!"
Phelous: "No, you're supposed to be a cat still, so go back to that."
D1: "He he he. But you see, time can be rewritten and stuff, so I-"
Phelous: "No."
D1: "I don't wanna g-"

Phelous: "No."

D1 (Suddenly becomes a cat): "Aw damn it!"

  • All the Shredder-related jokes in his review of Turtles Forever.

Phelous: "No fucking shit, Shredder. The dimensional portal sent you to another dimension?"
Shredder: "Oh, how was I supposed to know that's what the dimensional portal was for? I thought it was used for making ice-cream."
Phelous: *disbelief* "Ohh, what an idiot."

    • The cherry on the cake must go to the episode's stinger, however.

2003!Leonardo: "It's our Shredder. He's come here to tear down your world."
1987!Donatello: "And he's a grade-A meanie!"
Phelous launches into uncontrollable giggling upon hearing that line, but then...

Phelous: "What do you know, that giggle ray actually does work."

  • From the Child's Play 2 review with the Nostalgia Critic:
    • When Andy asks if he'll see his mother again:

Phelous: Let me check IMDB, honey. *checks Catherine Hicks' IMDB page* Nope. Your mom doesn't love you and she's never coming back.

    • Critic's shit-eating grin after Lampshade Hanging his video's recent mid-rolls.
    • The Brick Joke reference to Catherine Hicks' role in Star Trek IV

Phelous: I guess she was too busy with her precious Star Trek.
Critic: Oh no, this came out long after the Star Trek movie.
Phelous: Really? I thought "Homeward Bound" came out after this.
Critic: ...who are you?!

    • The Critic and Phelous swapping bodies at the end...except it doesn't really work, but the Critic just keeps going on as if he's Phelous anyway, practically making fun of him. The icing on the cake goes to him interrupting the end of the Channel Awesome jingle by screaming the last notes.

Critic: *laughs* You should be the one doing this imitation , he sounds more like you!

  • Phelous' April Fool's review of his own Mortal Komedy, from start to finish. You could hardly get any more meta, and Phelous milks the concept for all its worth.
  • Instead of a review, Phelous and Lupa work together on making a deliberately bad movie of their own, Roller Samurai Vampire Slayers, which stars the couple as a crack pair of... well, Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Sorta. Kinda. Almost.
    • Several parts are highly amusing, but the best is when Phelous' character (who's a vampire in disguise) monologues about his past to himself, hoping that his Knight Templar partner (played by Lupa) won't find him out. Unfortunately, he was talking aloud instead of thinking... and Lupa was right next to him.
      • This scene also allows Phelous to insert unused excerpts of Mortal Komedy.
  • Killdozer. Like, the entire thing. I could just cut and paste the entire script.
    • KILLDOZER DOES NOT RUN ON FUEL! KILLDOZER CAN RUN ON HATE!
    • You stink... You stink...
  • Amityville 4. Phelous's glosses over previous Amityville sequels (though he mentions that the house blew up in both films and somehow got better) because this is the one he's been waiting for; why? "EVIL FUCKING LAMP". The movie's absurd enough with having a haunted lamp as the villain, but he makes it even sillier; giving the lamp dialogue.
    • Of particular note, at one point we see the girl's room trashed, with crayon scribbles on the wall. This leads to an imagine spot of the lamp, holding crayons, walking into the room. "Ahahahaha! No one will suspect the lamp drew on the wall with crayon! No one suspects the laaaamp, haha!"
    • RIIIIING "Collect call from EVIL LAMP. Will you accept the charges?"
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