Unskippable

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Unskippable is a weekly web series hosted on The Escapist. Graham and Paul snark over the opening cutscenes of various video games, in a style inspired by Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The show was born as part of the Escapist Film Festival, where its pilot episode garnered enough votes to become a regular feature. It proved successful with the site's audience (who liked a bit of game humor), and has continued ever since.

Cutscenes are chosen based on several factors (and yes, they can be skippable). Terrible writing, poor pacing, and Cliche Storms are a plus, but even great cinematics can get the Unskippable treatment if the duo can think of enough silly things to say about them.

In 2009, Unskippable finally took on Hideo Kojima, the king of overwrought cutscenes, with Metal Gear August, a satirical look at Guns of the Patriots. As expected, the game was so cutscene-heavy that it took them 5 episodes to get through the cutscenes. And by "the cutscenes" we mean some of the cutscenes...in Act One...of five.

The episodes can be found here.

The snarkers in question, Graham Stark and Paul Sanders, are also the creators of Loading Ready Run. They have also experimented with a live Let's Play, found here. This morphed into a new series called Graham & Paul Let's Play, found here.

Tropes used in Unskippable include:

"I don't think that shirt is historically accurate."
"And the robots are?"
"...Yes?"
"Okay."

"...formed by Count Alex and the lords of neighboring cities."
"Despite the name, Lords of Neighboring Cities is actually a solo artist, he and Alex used to be roommates, so they formed an army."

Paul: Are we allowed to keep watching this?
Graham: ...I hope so!

"And so begins the adventure of an unlikely hero. But he got killed, so now we get to watch his girlfriend get clothes from the blacksmith."

And that was the seventh time I died.
I don't think we're allowed to use that joke.

"This shot courtesy of Game of Thrones." (later) "This shot courtesy of The Two Towers."

Narrator: In the not-too-distant future...
Graham and Paul (singing): Next Sunday, AD...

Openning Text: In the not-too-distant future...
Graham (singing): In the not-too-distant future...
Paul: We've already done this joke.
Graham: Well it's not my fault it starts the same way as Wolverine!

Graham: That's a terrible strategy.
Paul: YOU'RE a terrible strategy.
Graham: ...Ouch.

We know he's a Sith, but just to make sure, let's make him look like Satan.

"You know, I never noticed how many crows there are in cutscenes."

      • The best part about this one is that, according to Word of God, the pun in Russell's name was unintentional.
    • "(I) blame the taint." referencing the ridiculous name for the forces of evil from the Two Worlds intro cutscene
    • "Traffic chopper nine, we have serious [event] here" whenever a helicopter appears.
    • Evil porpoises.
  • Say My Name: Thoroughly mocked in the Devil May Cry 4 video.

"Nero!"
"Kyrie!"
"Dante!"
"KRATOS!"
"SPAARRTAAA!"

Game: "She's a spy!"
"She's a shepherd."
"SHEPHERD SPY!"

Alicia: Flowers, bugs and fish.
Graham and Paul: Oh my.

Oh yeah? Well I think I gave his mum a "small straight" last night. AND SHE LOVED IT.

    • In the Viking video, Paul does this to himself:

Narrator: What was once green and fertile was now soured and barren.
Paul: Hey! Leave my mom out of this!