JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

An Abridged Series using footage from the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OVAs, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged covers part three of the series. Created by AntfishFTW and featuring a voice cast from a few other Abridged series, this abridged series, is unlike many others in that the core points of the plot more or less stay the same:

Jotaro Kujo, a japanese delinquent keeps himself inside prison because he thinks he is being possessed by some kind of demon. His British-American grandfather, Joseph Joestar, arrives and reveals to him that the "demon" is in fact a manifestation of his fighting spirit, which are called Stands for those who have them. They have recently awakened somehow as the result of Dio Brando, a vampire which the Joestar family fought one hundred years ago, rising from his watery grave. But Holly Joestar, Jotaro's mother, has a passive nature which causes her to lose control of her Stand, and the resulting fever will kill her if Dio isn't defeated soon.

The cast is where things become the Abridged brand of oddball - Polnareff is The Spy, Avdol thinks the solution for everything is burning, Joseph is a walking Transformers reference, Jotaro is just plain bonkers, and Kakyoin is... mostly the same.

Antfish also made a lot of extra videos with joking references to previous and following parts of the series. Thanks to the fact the OVA was the only animation of the series available at the time (2009-2010), most of those extra videos are simply comic panels, but nonetheless they are also part of the parody.

The series has 10 episodes, with the 5th acting as a Season Finale); Episodes 9 and 10 have 2 and 3 parts, respectively. They can all be found here on Antfish's channel.

Tropes used in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged include:
  • Actor Allusion - The Comment Special uses this for a joke. A comment is made referring to how Dio sounds like Tim Curry and then Dio proceeds to ask other characters their opinions on this. The characters being Nigel Thornberry, Lord Dragaunus, Emperor Doviculus and Dr. Frank N. Furter. ...Oh and Pennywise the Clown shows up late to the party. And a pan full of curry who doesn't hear it.
  • Ambiguously Gay - Dio. Sure, he hits on Power Girl in the Stand Idol segment, but it sounds a lot like posturing.]
  • Animal Wrongs Group: Or rather, Animal Wrongs HERO, in the case of PETA-Man.
  • Anything That Moves - Dio, if the Comment Special is anything to go by.
  • Art Shift
    • Flashback (as well as Flash Forward) scenes are mainly shown as manga screenshots, since the anime only covers a small portion of the series as a whole.
    • Plus, the second half of the series comes from footage of the '90s OVA series, while the first half was made from the more recent series which was made to fill in the missing portions of the story. Lampshaded at the end when Jotaro's mother Holly wakes up from her coma, and she looks completely different.

Suzi Q: ... Weren't you a brunette before?

  • Author Appeal: Antfish likes sprinkling some pro-wrestling here and there.
  • Badass - Even when played for comedy, Jotaro still comes across this way.
  • Black Comedy Rape - Hol Horse's dreams of being raped by the Blue Collar Boys.
  • Brick Joke
    • Avdol does actually end up going to McDonalds!
    • FAJITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! And Peta-Man.
    • "Jotaro can read minds!"
  • Berserk Button
    • Do NOT mention 9/11 around Avdol.
    • Don't keep calling Doppio with the wrong number.
    • Don't compare Kakyoin to Keanu Reeves when his shades are on.

Dio: U mad?
Kakyoin: YES. I. MAD!

    • And certainly don't refer to Booster Gold as Green Lantern.

BOOSTER! F*CKING! GOLD!!! Who put you up to this?!

  • Big Damn Heroes:Polnareff jumping at Dio from behind before he can decapitate Jotaro, and earlier "Avdol returning and saving Polnareff from justice"
  • Call Back: The first time the gang meet Polnareff, Joseph gets a rapier through his artificial hand and screams "Ooh, my sexy hand!!". Around the final 3-part episode, Jotaro nails Dio's Stand with a deft punch damaging its fists and as a consequence, cutting up Dio's hand. And he says the very same thing.
  • Calling Your Attacks
    • Subverted, Jotaro interrupts Dio as he calls out his Stand.

Dio: "The Worl-!" -Dio gets socked in the face by Jotaro's Stand-
Star Platinum: Shut the f** k up!

    • Played straight with the Jotaro Punch.
    • Also with Kakyoin's "Child Abuse Throw!"
  • Butt Monkey: Polnareff. Even moreso than the source material.
  • Catch Phrase
    • Avdol's "I have found the only way to defeat X is to BURN IT." where X is whatever they happen to be facing at the time. Lampshaded by Joseph when he asks if Avdol is trying to get that printed on a T-shirt.
    • Double-subverted during episode 8, when he's interrupted by Polnareff, denies that he was going to say it because "That's just retarded."...and then proceeds to open Dio's casket by burning it.
  • Cloudcuckoolander - Jotaro. Let's just put it this way: his pen pal is Duck Dodgers, and he writes to him like it's a Letter to Penthouse. Let's leave it at that.
  • Cluster F-Bomb - Joseph drops quite a few when he flashes back to his final fight with Cars.
  • Continuity Nod:
    • Antfish is clearly a fan of the whole of Jojo because he'll slip in little jokes about the other parts of the series. Other than the blatant ones such as the flashback to the Cars fight and the reference to Dio burning Danny Joestar, there's also little asides like Jotaro telling Polnareff not to get trapped in a turtle.

Joseph: You're like the son I never had...Josuke.
Jotaro: Jotaro.
Joseph: Johnny.

    • Also, there's a another incredibly stealthy one from the "World Inside the Mirror" spinoff, "WHEELY HIGH." Brick Joke because they soon meet Polnareff, confined to a wheelchair, who had also seen the Mirror World before.
    • And even later in Episode 10:

Polnareff: I guess I'll just.....Stay here....Getting used to not moving my legs.....

  • Don't Explain the Joke:
    • "It's funny because there are bitches in the way that need to move."
    • Also, from episode 7: "It [My foot] will be up your ass. Just saying."
  • Eagle Land: Hol Horse.

Hol Horse: I don't care if you're speaking Chinamanese, that sure ain't no Uncle Sam talk I hear!

  • Emo:
    • Jotaro accuses Hierophant Green of being this.

Jotaro: Dude, it is crying from its wrist. That is hard emo, bro.

Kaiba: Kick his ass, Jotaro.

Dio: My only regret is that I didn't get to say WRYY--!

  • Flash Forward: The "Flashback to the Future" segments.
  • Foe Yay:
    • Lampshaded twice in the final episode, both times with the caption "Fanfic Fuel" appearing after a suggestive line.

Dio: Perhaps I, Dio, should take off his pants.
and
Jotaro: Wow Dio, looks like I just violated your manhole..... cover.

    • Also gets lampshaded and defied when Dio's explaining what he did to Joseph.

Dio: I, Dio, blew any chance of him living out of the water. I, Dio, sucked him bone dry. I, Dio, reached around and— you're just getting me to say a whole bunch of really gay sh*t now, aren't you.
Jotaro: Heh heh, yeah.

  • Fourth Wall Mail Slot: The "comment special" video.
  • Fridge Brilliance: D'Arby not saying the secret to Dio's stand could be considered to be because he went kinda insane... but it could also be because he never called Jotaro's raise and basically folded. He never had to give up that information since he never put it up for wager in that competition. As for why he freaked out more when it was brought up... he was probably scared to death about Jotaro's ability since it was possibly the power to stop time.
  • Get a Load of That Square: In episode 1, Joseph tries speaking entirely in slang he learned from an in-flight movie on the way to Japan.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck: Joseph regularly says "Dagnabbit," but isn't at all afraid to use other, more powerful words.
  • Grammar Nazi: Dio doesn't like grammar errors during the comment special.

Dio: reading a fan comment
Takahata101: Cast List Antfish - Everyone I SEE WOT U DID THAR
Dio: Well, I wished you saw what you typed because you can't f*cking spell.

Kakyoin: Heads, Polnareff wins. Tails, J. Geil loses.
J. Geil: *thinking* That's not fair, either one I choose I... uh-oh.

Joseph: Aw, f*** you, Germany!

  • Homoerotic Subtext:
    • Parodied when Jotaro walks past Kakyoin in a series of freeze-frames, with a "CLAMP Warning" meter at the bottom of the screen that skyrockets just as he passes him. And then plummets back to zero when Jotaro walks past him and turns his attention to Enya.
    • Also shows up in the "Or is there?" video:

Abbacchio: So don't ever say there's no such thing as a world inside a mirror! Got it?
Giorno: *beat* You smell nice!
Abbacchio: *stunned silence*

  • I Have Many Names - The Rock introduces himself as such when auditioning for Stand Idol.

The Rock: Rocky, The Brahma Bull, The Great One, The People's Champ, Dwayne Johnson, the Most EEEEEEEEEELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!

  • In Name Only: Abridged? The final episode is in three parts, and is nearly as long as the final episode of the OVA. Though shortening it would be difficult without cutting out material important to plot, as the final battle rages across the entire city. And onto a river. And it's still hilarious.
  • Insane Troll Logic - Joseph's interpretation of Kakyoin attacking the clock tower, which leads him to believe that Dio's stand can breathe fire.
  • Insistent Terminology - Episode 7

Joseph: As you all know, months have passed since we left for Egypt.
Polnareff: We've only been gone for three weeks.
Joseph: MONTHS. Have passed.

  • Jive Turkey - N'Doul.
  • Kitchen Sink Included: As in the original, Dio stops time and throws dozens of knives at a frozen Jotaro until there are too many for him to block or avoid. Before starting time up again, he adds, "And for comedic effect..." and a kitchen sink gets photoshopped into the scene.
  • Large Ham - Dio was already one to begin with, but the Abridged Series cranked it up to 11.
  • Leeroy Jenkins: Jotaro, he even quotes the trope namer.
  • Major Injury Underreaction
    • Kakyoin's response to getting sliced across the eyes by Geb? "Ow."
    • Jotaro is also quite fond of this trope. For example: he does not so much as flinch while a zombified baby GNAWS ON HIS KNEECAP. Cue the following dialogue.

Kakyoin: Doesn't that hurt?
Jotaro: Doesn't what hurt?
Kakyoin: Aren't you in pain?!
Jotaro: What is "pain"?

Colonel Campbell: I am not kidding.

    • Also pulled two off earlier in Episode 4, during the infamous "beat your bum" line.

Polnareff: Oh what's that? You say I can beat your bum? Oh you're into THAT stuff!! (Subtitle: ACTUAL DUB DIALOGUE)

    • Then when Polnareff and Kakyoin see J. Geil's Hanged Man in the chrome of their vehicle's steering wheel, the bizarre case of Lip Lock from the dub is referenced here by Kakyoin stating:

Kakyoin: POLNAREFF! He's in the CHROME of the STEERING WHEEL! (Subtitle: ACTUAL DUB INFLECTION)

  • Oh Crap:
    • Many, many from episode ten:

Jotaro: What's he doing with that stopsign? Why'd he break that stopsign in half? Why's he coming over here? Oh no, oh no, no no no, NO NO NO NO!

Dio: * tossing a ship* Enjoy your stay on the S.S. Plummet, Jotaro!
Jotaro: That's a boat--* boat crashes into him*

Jotaro: Maybe he ran out of steam, and rolled on out of here.
Dio: * overhead with a gas tanker* LOOK WHAT I'VE GOOOOOOOT!
Jotaro: Well...that's a first.

    • And, last but not least, Dio when Jotaro stops time.

"Why can't I move? Wh... why can't I- No, no, nononoNONO! MOTHERF** KER!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! BULLS** T! BULLS** T! BULLS** T!"

  • Quip to Black - "'cause I'm cold... as ice." (YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!)
  • Real Song Theme Tune
    • Killswitch Engage's cover of Ronnie James Dio's (who was the Big Bad's namesake) "Holy Diver". Dio's original version is later used at the end of episode 8, when Dio makes his first non-shadowed appearance.
    • Dark Reprise - The above use of Holy Diver could be considered this.
  • Refuge in Audacity - Using N'Doul as a jive turkey? Possibly offensive to some. Proceeding to ramp it up by then quick-cutting to most known black stereotypes within only 10 seconds? Hilarious.
  • Rule 63 - A genderflipped picture of Dio and Jotaro is shown in episode 7, complete with les-yay. Very Squickish, although of course, Your Mileage May Vary. Said genderflipped Dio made an appearance on the comment special.
  • Short Runner/ Too Good to Last - Seeing as how the anime (and therefore, the abridged series) only covered a portion of the series with a 13 episode OVA, it really can't be helped.
    • Two separate OVAs, with the final six episodes or so being nearly a decade older than the previous ones. Making for a noticeable degradation in animation quality for the second half of both Anime and Abridged series.
  • Shout-Out
    • Even with just ten episodes, the shoutouts are already too numerous to count, but perhaps the biggest one comes in Episode 5

Joseph: My God! This house is filled with the dead!
Kakyoin: And they're silent! Like the hills!
Joseph: Come on! We gotta get out of this residence of evil!
Kakyoin (to Enya): Don't worry! You won't be left for dead!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!

    • From Episode 8:

Vanilla Ice: Stupid Dog! You made me LOOK BAD!

    • And about 30 seconds later:

Polnareff: Vanilla Ice! You're about to be... Under Pressure!"

Hol Horse: "Polnareff sappin' my stand!"
Polnareff: "I appear to have burst into flames."

    • Episode 9 has so many it's hard to keep track, so here's the best way to sum it up: Kakyoin = The Matrix and X-Men, Joseph = Transformers (And it continues in the Series Finale) and about 20 others, and Jotaro has the floating Steve Buscemi head.

Dio: And so, you are left alone... like a rainbow in the dark.

    • Also from episode 9:

Jotaro: You think punching me a wall's gonna stop me? Pft. Who the hell do you think I am?!?

    • The chauffeur's speech pattern and threats from episode 9 are based on the Mad TV character Coach Hines.
    • From the Comment Special:

Dio: Are you daft, punk!?

      • From later on in the comment special:

Jotaro: Yeah, you better. Don't want you to sparkle to death.

D'Arby: If you like to gamble, I tell you, I'm your man. You win some, you lose some, its all the same to me.

Jotaro: "That's...amazing!"
Dio: "What, that something so indie could be so mainstream?"
Jotaro: "No, that Cartoon Network's still making cartoons.

    • Though not apparent at first, Antfish mentions all notable bad things he could remember happening in 1993 while doing a quick recap in Episode 6. The first of those things Bill Clinton becoming president, and the last being'Nothing But A 'G' Thang, a song by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, with the middle of the list being air disasters and terrorist attacks.
  • Tempting Fate
    • Two examples.

Antfish: (on viewing Star Platinum pulling Hierophant Green from a girl's mouth) Oh God, it's so gross! Ugh, stop it, stop it! *hits pause* Oh God, that looks so gross! Ugh... It'd be even worse in reverse...

  • scene rewinds*

Antfish: OH GOD I WAS RIGHT!

    • And

Joseph: Guess what, everyone! We're one of the first Abridged Series' to go six episodes without a Metal Gear reference!
Others: Huzzah! *cue exclamation point and alert sound*
Joseph: Dagnabbit!

    • Invoked, then played straight later in the episode.

Joseph: All right, so long as no one jinxes it-
Jotaro: Hey, Granddad, the stand's dead.

  • Geb attacks Joseph*
  • This Is Sparta - In Episode 9, the Chauffeur's speech patterns are...odd.

Chauffeur: SON. OF A HIPPO'S. LEFT. NUT.

  • Tim Curry
  • The Un-Reveal - Dio's speaking voice gets roughly a third of a second of screen time before being interrupted by the opening titles. Subverted in Episode 8, when we finally hear him speak.
  • Trademark Favorite Food - Jotaro is easily distracted by any mention of fajitas.
  • Villainous Breakdown
    • Dio has a short but massive one when he learns Jotaro can stop time and do it so that Dio can't move.
    • And of course, there's D'Arby's infamous one, when Jotaro's high speed stand bluff trick-cum mind molestation makes D'Arby lose his shit epicly.
  • Verbal Tic:
    • "I, Dio, do not know why I, Dio, am included as an example here."
    • Also a nod to actual canon where in Dio often refers to himself as (based on rough translation) "this Dio".
    • D'Arby over-emphasizing the "oo" sound in anything he says.
  • Visual Pun: In the comment special, in the aforementioned answer to a comment saying he sounds like Tim Curry, Dio, after asking other Tim Curry-voiced actors (Including Dr. Frank N. Furter), Dio then asks a pan full of curry. Personally, he doesn't hear it.
  • Vocal Evolution - Kakyoin's voice went from this to this. Note that everyone else hasn't changed a whole lot.
  • Waxing Lyrical:
    • Polnareff attempts to pick-up Enya using only song lyrics. She immediately notices this.

Enya: Are you just reciting song lyrics?
Polnareff: ... I want to fuck a dog in the ass

    • As noted above, D'Arby quotes several lines from "Ace of Spades" when he introduces himself.
  • What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?: Fugo discovers the horrifying secret of the mirror world:

Fugo: Well this doesn't seem so bad- Oh my god, they spelled "trash" backwards!

  • What If - The whole point of the epilogue episode, really.
  • Your Mom: Well, more like Your Girlfriend.

Dio: They were really hard punches!
Jotaro: Not as hard as my dick...
Dio: Wait, what?
Jotaro: ...when I f*cked your girlfriend!

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