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Main Characters (the Ménage à 3)

Gary

A cartoonist and comic book Nerd, and the first main character to be introduced. He works at a call center and lives in fear of his landlady, Madame Deville.

• Adorkable
• All Men Are Perverts: He does have perverted thoughts, but given his Nice Guy status he is rather tame.
• Almost Kiss: While asleep, with Zii, no less.
• Attractive Bent Gender: Yuki's trying to deal with her attraction to Gary and the fact that she's a lesbian (as far as we know) made Gary into one inside Yuki's head.
  • And after Didi's Wrong Name Outburst, Matt has ended up visualizing her as a bustier gender-flipped Gary!
• Bi the Way: Subverted! Turns out his apparent "gay" tendencies were just stemming from the fact that he lived with two gay guys for a few years. He's actually straight.
• Butt Monkey: It's probably the main source of humor.
  • Although he does have his small victories such as Lita (Zii's cat, who hates everyone) seeming to prefer his company over anyone else, and Yuki is slowly starting to like him, even giving him a kiss on the cheek after he does her a favor (though right after that, she left him as soon as she saw Zii before convincing her to have "her pearl polished" and screaming for a good part of the night, making it impossible for Gary and Dillon to sleep).
    • He recently scored a well-deserved victory over Zii when she thought she'd broken his ultra-rare classic Transformer, and he got her to promise to watch every Transformers episode with him before revealing that "Precious Overlord" was in fact not broken at all.
• Chekhov's Skill: The Swirly-Go-Round kissing technique Dillon taught him has been getting some mileage lately, culminating in him finally giving multiple orgasms to Kiley.
• Clueless Chick Magnet: He now has most of the comic's female cast after him (and some of the males, too). It remains to be seen whether he'll evolve it up to Accidental Pornomancer.
• Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments
• The Fool: As with above. His Unlucky Everydude qualities seem to be fading, as he has now: got his dream girl and a physical ideal, slutty girl willing to compete in a sex contest with him, his gay former roommate falling for him, his gag penis, his current roommates nearly willing to have sex with him to finally break him out of his bad luck, and improving on a "kissing" (oral) technique to give three unmatched orgasms to his favorite porn starlet, while he wasn't aware.
• Freudian Excuse: His virginity and sexual dysfunction are a result of his severely repressive ultra-religious parents and cock-teasing girls. (Resulting in him living with a professional cock tease, a very talented amateur cock tease, and lusting after a girl with penis-phobia. Um...)
• Gag Penis: He has one, at least according to DiDi (she and Zii once undressed him and put him to bed after he fainted); when she learns that he's a virgin, she exclaims: "His star power! Quel gáchis!"
• Hollywood Nerd: Zii even admits that he's attractive.
  • One of his coworkers also says of the female characters (who he thinks are attracted to Gary) "Punk rocker chick. Big breasted amazon who gives assplay. Nympho Japanese girl. Gary is the luckiest guy on the face of the Earth."
  • Given that Gary bears a striking resemblance to Dick Grayson in geek glasses (he even fills in as Nightwing at a play), this may be intentional.
• Limited Wardrobe: Very rarely strays from his staple of black jeans and baseball t-shirts with funny and geeky logos or phrases on them.
• A Man Is Not a Virgin: Part of his self-esteem issues. He may also be the only character who's straight (though it may not be for long.)
• Nerds Are Sexy: Pretty much everyone in the comic agrees that he's pretty damn cute, and does have a certain dorky nice-guy charm, but his terrible luck and awkwardness (and Zii) effectively ruin any chance he ever has.
• Nerds Are Virgins
• Nice Guy: He does have his flaws but is still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do the right thing and looks out for other people.
• No Name Given: His last name is not revealed.
• Nosebleed: Sexual situations used to cause violent nosebleeds for Gary; however, it appears that he has gotten over it.
• Older Than They Look: He's almost 30, but doesn't look a day older than the rest of the cast.
• Unwanted Harem: One of Gary's coworkers thinks that Gary has one of these.

"Punk rock chick. Big-Breasted amazon who gives tons of assplay. Japanese Nympho. Gary is the luckiest guy on the face of the earth."

Suzi "Zii" Nielsen

A bandless guitarist who is not ashamed of herself. She is bisexual, has a penchant for yaoi and is certainly not afraid to take the chance if it presents itself. She also enjoys comics and has a cat.

• All Women Are Lustful: She's the poster girl in the series.
• Anything That Moves
• Anti-Heroic BSOD: Zii goes through one of these after breaking Gary's prized 'Overlord'. Her solution was "bang his brains out", or would've been had DiDi not slapped some sense into her.
• Attention Deficit... Ooh! Kinky!: happens when Zii tries talking Sonya into patching things up with her boyfriend, Jake. Zii makes an honest effort despite Sonya's attempts to come onto her, until she mentions the kitty costume she wanted to wear for her, and the bunny one. So much for that....
• Badass: During a guest strip, she claims to have once done it with live tarantulas on her boobs. Why? Because it's badass!
• Berserk Button: Internet trolls and being called a dude based on her appearance.
• Can't Have Sex, Ever: She can't seem to make any progress with DiDi no matter how much she schemes to confuse the girl sexually.
• Casanova: She's a female version, having quite a knack for seducing presumably straight women into lesbian encounters. She's been with nearly every female ever featured in the comic, with DiDi being the only one she's tried to seduce but hasn't had any luck with. She's been with a lot of men, too, but since All Men Are Perverts it doesn't really count.
• Catgirl: She noticed the effect her new work outfit had on Gary, so she decides to play it up a bit—with mixed results.
• Cat Smile:
• Cosplay: One of the stipulations of her job at Jung's comic shop is that she models for his cosplay outfits.
• Character Development: Lately she's become a far moral person who takes umbrage at being offered up by someone else for a threesome and is genuinely supportive of Gary and Kiley's relationship.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: To Erik.
• Cute Lech:
• A Date with Rosie Palms
• Depraved Bisexual: To those who don't like her.
• Empathy Pet: Lita often mimics Zii's behavior, even when Zii isn't around.
• Everyone Has Standards: Zii really didn't take Gary trying to pimp her out to sleep with Amber well. As she said, she's done a lot of things with a lot of people, but it should have been her choice, not someone else's.
• Good Angel, Bad Angel: She has a pair that sometimes work together.
• Jerkass: She may or may not be one of these depending on who you ask.
• Karma Houdini: She has yet to receive any comeuppance for some of the sleazy things she's done, like leaving Gary handcuffed to a man-hater who thinks he's a rapist, or barging in on naked Gary with a camera. An excellent example can be found in this strip, where she initially seems to be getting some comeuppance, but in the next strip she's making out with the waitress.
  • She seems to have grown away from this lately. A storyline taking place after the Base Breaking internet-troll storyline had some mischief of hers being met with a Cool and Unusual Punishment that she genuinely hates, and she's currently suffering the repercussions of the above-noted seduction of Sonya.
• The Ladette

Zii: Don't be shy. Think of me as a dude. Gary: I already do.

• Multicolored Hair
• Only Known by Their Nickname: She introduces herself as Suzi in one of the first strips, but nobody calls her that. Her last name was only revealed much later.
• Pet the Dog: Genuine concern over a crying Gary, though she seems rather uncomfortable with him hugging her.
• The Pornomancer: Sex just seems to happen to her.
• Really Gets Around: She has been around and then some.
• Ship Tease: Gets a few with Gary.
• Sleep Cute:
• Too Kinky to Torture:
• Tsundere: At times, though she's started showing signs of this towards Gary.
• Yaoi Fangirl: Both Zii and her cat Lita: "Myaoi"?
• Zettai Ryouiki: when going on a date with DiDi.

Desirée "DiDi" Chastel

A girl with a strong French accent who is best described with the term... well, let's just say that her name fits her very well. She works as a waitress at a restaurant and is quite skilled at cooking.

• Beauty Equals Goodness: DiDi is such a good girl that her tiny bad angel hasn't seen her since the 3rd grade. Her good angel, however, is much bigger than the bad one and DiDi herself, combined or otherwise.
• Big Breasts, Big Deal: She belongs to type 5 (ignorance), as she often doesn't seem to notice the effect she has on people
• Blessed with Suck: So beautiful that no man who has sex with her is capable of lasting long enough to bring her to orgasm.
• Boobs of Steel: She's so strong, that it was originally suspected that she might be a drag queen.
• Corrupt the Cutie: Didi has been hanging out with Zii for way too long. (Admittedly, given her previously stated love of cross-dressing guys and horror movies, it may not have taken much.)
  • Her desperate need to get an orgasm has also been encouraging more and more Jerkass behavior from her.
• Dumb Blonde: Averted—though extremely naive, she appears to be of roughly average intelligence.
• Ethical Slut: Played with. Didi genuinely does not want to hurt anyone, but she does occasionally do stupid things like double-booking dates and accidentally dumping people.
• Even the Girls Want Her: Gay men, straight women and even animals.
• Flat Character: Subverted. Her point of view is shown only rarely in the comic, and she is generally treated as somewhat other, but she clearly has way more going on for her than just window dressing—she's very athletic, her sense of humor shows hints of being decidedly twisted, and she has a passion for seriously freaky horror movies.
• Girls Are Really Scared of Horror Movies: Well, yes, but Didi has a distinct passion for them. Which means Marshmallow Heaven for anyone watching with her.
• Good Angel, Bad Angel: Her bad angel is minuscule, her good angel is gigantic. Cue Beauty Equals Goodness.
• Good Bad Girl: Her sweet and wholesome personality can make one almost forget that she has a list of ex-boyfriends and casual sexual encounters so long that she can't keep their names straight.
• Gratuitous French: Despite the series being set in the largest city of French Canada, she seems to be the only character so far who's an actual Francophone.
• Hello, Nurse!: May be based on Jayne Mansfield in The Girl Can't Help It.
• I Have Boobs - You Must Obey!: She does it accidentally.
• The Ingenue
• Innocent Fanservice Girl
• Only Known by Their Nickname: Everybody calls her DiDi, except for her friend, Sandra who usually uses her real name.
• Really Gets Around: She had so many boyfriends that she can't remember their names.
• Right Through the Wall
• Statuesque Stunner
• Supreme Chef
• Team Mom
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Ever since deciding she was straight after all, DiDi's become a lot more immature, bitchy, and self-centered. Oddly, DiDi goes from being the nicest girl in the cast to the meanest right around the time that Zii decides to stop acting like such a selfish jerk all the time, making it seemed like they switched roles.
• What the Hell, Hero?: She gets this from Zii when she tries to scare off Kiley to get a chance at Gary and for forgetting about Matt

Supporting Cast

Dillon O'Brien

Gary's former and now again/and no longer again roommate. Despite being gay, he doesn't mind doing some erotic things with women. Has a crush on Gary.

• All Gays Are Promiscuous
• Attractive Bent Gender: In his Black Canary costume, enough to fool several people (including the actor playing Green Arrow).
  • And also, Dillon as Gary's favorite porn star, Amber-Amber.
• Camp Gay: And how! If you took every Camp Gay stereotype in the book and then some, squeezed them into a pink leotard and sprinkled them with glitter, Dillon would be the result.
• Casting Couch: Dillon has sex with his agent several times so he'd make him a "a big star!"
• Cloudcuckoolander He has his moments.
• Even the Guys Want Him: See Dillon dressed up as Black Canary or Amber-Amber. And he's claimed to have "turned" several straight guys in the past with his Swirly-Go-Round kissing technique. Cosplaying as Gary's favorite porn star even got Gary to make out with him under the pretense of helping him learn how to do it right, but to no apparent lasting effect.
• Flanderization: And how. In the early strips you'd hardly recognize him compared to now. Archive Binge will likely leave you thinking "Where did Dillon go, and why is Jack from Will and Grace being called by his name?" He actually wasn't a collection of stereotypes from day one.
• The Pornomancer: Has the same knack for seducing straight men that Zii has for seducing straight women. His tally so far is 7.

Yuki Oyama

Zii's ex-girlfriend, and later Stalker with a Crush. Has a complex about phallic tentacles, and, thanks to this, Does Not Like Men, even though Zii insists she's attracted to them on some level. Yuki is a wannabe manga writer who is using a mixture of blackmail and Gary's crush on her to get an artist for her work.

• Berserk Button: Male nudity TENTACLES.
• Catapult Nightmare: Yuki had two regarding "Garii". (May 13 & October 30, 2010, NSFW.)
• Cloudcuckoolander
• Does Not Like Men: Due to having been exposed to so much of her father's tentacle porn as a child, she hallucinates tentacles in place of penises. She's slowly warming up to Gary (she's started calling him by his first name, instead of Violator-san). But this may be because she doesn't see him as a threat. Complicated somewhat with the revelation that she's now having erotic dreams and hallucinations about "Garii", a person with Gary and Zii's combined features. She's even trying to get over her penis-phobia as a result.
• Freudian Excuse: The reason of her issues about men is her exposure as a little kid to her father's work, who was a famous hentai artist (dubbed "The Tentacle King")
  • She doesn't even seem to be aware of it. When Gary covered up a naked man's crotch with his hands to stop Yuki from Groin Attacking him, she snaps out of "TENTACLLLLES!" mode and promptly asks "Hey, how come you've got your hands over that guy's junk?" In a later strip she's absolutely dumbfounded to hear that she destroyed an entire store's worth of pornography, one thumb-through-a-TENTACLLLLE at a time.
• Genki Girl
• Hilariously Neglectful Childhood
• I Have Boobs - You Must Obey!: She does it with Gary.
• Insane Troll Logic: Particularly when she's upset. She's getting better at recognizing when she's being unreasonable.
• If It's You It's Okay: seems to be developing a case of this for Gary, seen here.
• Love Epiphany: She seems to have had one for Gary
• Psycho Lesbian: to Zii, although she is a rather tame example more like a clingy jealous ex-girlfriend.
• Suck/Nibble Her Weak Point: Yuki has Zii down pat and knows just the right buttons to push to turn Zii into putty. Such as her, "top secret super fantastic cream your panties happy fun spot." And a light nibble of her earlobe was all it took to quell Zii's wrath and get her to "polish" Yuki's "pearl".
• Tsundere: She has some tendencies of this. She's starting to look like a bit of a deconstruction though—she's starting to become very aware of just how batshit she comes off to people.
  • That last link could count as a Heel Realization.
• Zettai Ryouiki

Kiley Shefford

Yuki's would-be therapist. Initially introduced in a one-off gag, she grew into a larger part by offering to "Fix Yuki's Brain" so she could pursue Gary more effectively. In trying to coach Yuki through her dates with Gary, it seems that she may have fallen for him herself...

• A-Cup Angst: How she's introduced, and her attempts at getting over it are milked for laughs.
• Ascended Extra: Kiley started out as a throw-away background joke.
• Chekhov's Gunman: Initially introduced in a one-panel gag, she was brought back as Yuki's "Therapist" and through a bizarre series of events ends up being the one to take Gary's virginity.
• Fragile Flower: Kiley is very insecure and prone to break down crying.
  • Tender Tears: When they're together, Kiley and Yuki have a good chance of both crying for different reasons.
• Hollywood Psych: By the metric ton! Justified by Rule of Funny because she is hilariously awful at anything psych-related.
• I Want Them to be Happy: She calls things off with Gary out of concern for Yuki's feelings, and because she feels it's what's best for him too.
• Motor Mouth: When she's randy.
• Playing Cyrano: Coaches Yuki through several dates with Gary... and inverted when she ends up falling for Gary... and takes his virginity.

Matt

Gary's other former roommate and Dillon's boyfriend until Dillon caught him with a woman, is an underwear model and a bisexual guy full of fetishes.

• Anything That Moves: Anything.
• Bi the Way
• Gag Penis: If Senna's comments (in Portuguese) are to be believed.
• Jerkass: Honorable mention goes to Matt & Dillon, who in the opening strips completely shake up Gary's life (getting caught "out" by having sex in the living room, destroying Gary's work table having sex on top of it, and not telling him they were moving out until the last possible second), then leave "just in case some of the strangers they invited over are axe murderers".
  • And yet Matt outstrips Dillon handily -- seducing Dillon while on a date with Sandra, then when the whole night goes to hell for pretty much the entire cast, winds up as the middle of a sandwich, with two of Dillon's cast-mates (one female, one male) as the bread. And he admits it.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Arguably, he's been a pretty good friend and a decent person in any context that doesn't require romantic monogamy. And when he realizes he's a douche-bag in that area, he stops trying to get into a serious relationship, in lieu of being with people who are as casually sexual as he is.
• Karma Houdini: After cheating on his girlfriend with his ex boyfriend (who is ex- because of him cheating with the aforementioned girlfriend), and having it all blow up in his face, he still manages to get himself in a threesome.
• Mr. Fanservice: He is a underwear model after all.
• Naked Apron
• Pet the Dog: Despite the fallout with Dillon, he has a good friendship with Gary. Matt even consoles Gary when he doubts his heterosexuality and even helps him realize he isn't gay.
• Your Cheating Heart

Sandra

DiDi's coworker at a Hooters-like restaurant. Used to date Matt, but not entirely unattracted to DiDi, who has a crush on her.

• Hard-Drinking Party Girl
• I Need a Freaking Drink: She carries a bottle of vodka in her purse for this purpose.
  • This leads into her becoming a Drunken Master as she gears up to fight Dillon in Backstage Pass.
• In Vino Veritas: Libational Libido. When drunk, she has more confidence.
• Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Once again when she is drunk she is prone to do "interesting things". She doesn't remember it of course.
• Ms. Fanservice: She has a tendency to play this role at work.

Junghan

Gary's friend. He works in a comic book store and agrees to hire Zii when she needs a job to keep from being evicted.

• Asexual: Subverted. This is our best guess, but the cast page gives his orientation as "unknown". Furthermore, whenever we get a delicious shot of something or other, he's doing something else, doesn't appear on-sheet, or has his face turned from the audience.
  • Jung has appeared immune to DiDi—he's the only character who has never shown any attraction to anyone as of yet, and when DiDi kissed Zii he was shown in the background ignoring them, looking smug, and counting money.
  • When Yuki went on her rampage, attacking every man she encountered, she completely ignored Jung's presence.
    • That may have been because he was behind the counter and out of range.
  • Married to the Job: At the very least, he seems more into comic books than anything else.
  • Covert Pervert: Then again, we get shots like these. No, really. He even designed that personally. Though needless to say, a man can be a pervert in some areas but still be totally uninterested in sex.
• Big Eater: Early on, he mentions he can't move out of his mom's basement because the food bills alone would bankrupt him. In his appearances since, he tends to be consuming some form of snack food.
• Dissonant Serenity: Jung is remarkably calm as Yuki runs amok.
• Nerds Are Virgins: It'd be a shock if he wasn't one.
• Caustic Critic: Subverted; he originally wasn't even going to consider that Dillon's play would be any good, but when he ends up really enjoying it, he writes an extremely positive review, making the play a success.
• Only Sane Man: Closest to it as anyone in this series can ever get. Justified since he's...
  • The Stoic: The most we've ever gotten are smirks, which appear to be his substitute for chuckling (first link implies as much).

Sonya

A ditzy waitress that Zii seduced one day, which led to a threesome with Sonya's boyfriend, which led to Sonya having a lot of lesbian sex. Likes Gary. Lusts madly after Zii. Yuki is... jealous of her.

• Brainless Beauty: Sonya... jet black hair, stunning figure, and dumb as a bag of hammers. Bordering on The Ditz. She doesn't even seem to be aware that technically she's cheating on her boyfriend with Zii.
• The Determinator: Sonya takes seduction very, very seriously.
• Have I Mentioned That I Am Heterosexual Today?: Until very recently, this was a big part of her character. Got better.
• Ms. Fanservice: Perhaps even more than Didi; though she isn't one of the foreground characters, she's far more aware of her own attractiveness than Didi and plays it up. A lot.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Sonya's not fooling anybody.

Sonya: "Thanks to you, I eat pussy on a nightly basis." Allie drops her coffee pot, breaking it Sonya: (to Allie) "What? I'm... I'm really not lesbian."

Amber Larose (Formerly Amber-Amber)

A former Porn Star trying to go legit. She befriends Dillon when they start working under the same lecherous Producer, and through a bit of scheming (and some time on the Casting Couch), she manages to snag an apartment with Dillon in tote. She is doing her best to avoid Zii, and she seems to think of Dillon as her Pet Homosexual. She is both a legitimately nice person and a massive opportunist.

• Bleached Underpants: Justified in-universe. She is trying to become a real actress (a la Traci Lords), though she and Dillon had the misfortune of working under Jerkass Producer Nathan. Fortunately, (with a little help from Dillon), she is able to turn the tables on him and nab both a favorable contract and a free apartment out of the deal.
• Expy: Of Traci Lords, in both looks and her desired career path.
• I Call Her "Rosebud": In her quest to get Dillon to use his "Swirly-Go-Round" oral technique on her again, Amber reveals that she's indeed named her vagina (and terrifies poor Dillon in the process).
• The Immodest Orgasm: After tricking Gary into an... intimate practice kiss, her rather epic climax alerts Gary's Fridge Logic detector.

Gary: Wait. How are you talking?

• • The result? She breaks him.

Senna

One of Matt's underwear model colleagues. Senna is an extremely attractive Brazilian transgender woman with a very nice butt.

• All Women Are Lustful: Transitioning didn't exactly kill her sex drive.
• Bi the Way: Possibly averted (unusually for this strip); Sandra woke up naked next to her but it's not too clear exactly what happened between them between getting wasted in a strip club in Montreal and waking up on a beach in Brazil.
• Ethical Slut: Apparently.
• Rich Bitch: A mild case. She's initially dismissive towards Sandra's panicky behavior and lack of a place to stay, but gives her a job as a personal assistant to make up for it.

Erik

One of DiDi's boyfriends. He's nice and all, but she doesn't seem entirely satisfied with him. His role has become much bigger now that he is dating, and apparently fallen in love with, Zii.

• Early-Bird Cameo: Looks like the guy that DiDi left the park with back in year 1 is back and in love with Zii.
• Genre Savvy: compared to everyone else's odd views on how to get a relationship to work.
• Long-Haired Pretty Boy
• Nice Guy
• Strong Family Resemblance: To his sister, Erika. Even down to the sunglasses.
• Sunglasses at Night: He has maybe taken his glasses off once, despite leaving them on during a movie, sleep or sex.

Ancillary Characters

Lita

Zii's pet cat.

• Cats Are Mean: Zii says her cat, Lita, hates everyone. However, the cat seems to take an immediate liking to Gary, and she even sleeps in his arms. Zii even said that Lita pretty much belongs to Gary now.
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: the people she gets along with despite her hatred.
• Cool Cat
• Empathy Pet: Lita often mimics Zii's behavior, even when Zii isn't around.
• Fascinating Eyebrow: Yeah, seriously.
• Hand or Object Underwear: Was briefly this for Gary.
• Team Pet
• Yaoi Fangirl: "Myaoi"?

Jordan

One of Dillon's fellow thespians. Almost as big a bastard as Matt.

• Bi the Way: Jordan is mostly gay, but it doesn't seem like he'd turn down a night with an attractive woman.
• Ethical Slut: Averted. After the whole theater incident, Jordan wound up in bed with both Matt and the actress who played Harley Quinn in the play.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: His method of trying to help Dillon understand his sexuality wasn't necessarily a good idea, but his heart seems to have been in the right place.

Eulice Deville

Gary's landlady. Has an inhuman sense for deadbeats and an unspecified but close (and emotionally abusive) relationship with Rob, the building shut-in.

• I Was Quite a Looker: If you believe when she says that DiDi looks like a young version of herself.
• Cranky Landlady

Rob

The agoraphobic neighbor who lives above Gary's apartment. It's uncertain whether he knows that it's not the Eighties any more.

• Hikikomori
• Man Child

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