Homestuck/Funny: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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{{work}}
{{outdated}}
> SEEK WEBCOMIC-RELATED HILARITIES
 
My, there's quite a list of knee-slappers! Feel free to examine them in more detail.
 
{{Unmarked Spoilers}} Due to the constantly updating{{verify|reason=The main work page says the webcomic completed in 2016. Either that page or this one needs to be updated.}} nature of ''Homestuck'', [[Late Arrival Spoiler|all spoilers are left unmarked.]]
 
NOTE: Should this page be categorized into Acts like the Nightmare Fuel and Awesome pages? Just saying.
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{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color:#b536de">TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast.</span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003500 I got] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003501 a present] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003502 for you Casey.]
{{quote|[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s{{=}}6&p{{=}}003503 CG: JOHN WHAT THE WET BAG OF HUMAN HORSE SHIT TO THE FACE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.] }}
* John and Karkat's [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003503 conversation] about Terezi:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color:#626262;">CG: OK IF YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN WHEN SHE TRIES HATCHING MORE PLANS GIVE HER A MESSAGE INTO THE PAST FOR ME.</span>
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* [[Blue Blood|Equius]] strongly believes in the Alternian caste system. [[The Stoner|Gamzee]] is of a higher caste than him. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004121 And then they talk].
** Gamzee's admission to fraternizing with the imps is itself [[Crowning Moment of Funny|all kinds of]] [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|Crowning]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Moments]].
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#2b0057|;">TC: bUt NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInG sOmE pIe}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#2b0057|;">TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM.}} </span>}}
** His [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004122 conversation with Vriska.] Oh god.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">ROBO SLAP!}}</span>}}
** And now [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004178 his] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004179 conversations] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004180 with] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004181 Aradia].
* SHE HAS '''[http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004163 WHAT?!]'''
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Ok, little ball. Fine. If you're so smart, then answer this! How is it going to happen!
HOW????????
{{smallcaps|I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE}} }}
::[[Incredibly Lame Pun|Cue]] the ball exploding in her face.
* The last update Andrew did before leaving for a week begins [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004184 here] and ends with, uh, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004193 this]. But it easily overlaps with [[Nightmare Fuel]] and possibly CMOH and/or [[Tear Jerker]], but really it's just such an over the top scene that it's simply incredibly hilarious in spite of all that. What makes it even better is the aforementioned fact that it's the last update in a week. Andrew's comment in the thread:
{{quote|But I guess all this can be discussed into the ground in the coming week. Over what shall heretofore be known as THE WEEK OF THE GREAT ROBOSMOOCH OF 2010.}}
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004192 The facial expressions are just... oh god.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004195 Nepeta's] [[Shipper on Deck|'Shipping Wall']]. {{<span style="color|:red|;">oh yessssss!}}</span>
* Okay, this is Vriska to Tavros, so there's absolutely no way it's anything but subjective, but Vriska's absurd insistence that Tavros apologize for being a cripple leads to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004251 this panel]:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">aG: Say you're sorry for being a cripple! Wheeeeeeee!}}</span>}}
** I think it's funny that [[Even Evil Has Standards|even the imp looks sorry for him]].
** Equally subjective was the preceding moment where Vriska built Tavros a tower ''[[Kick the Dog|made entirely of stairs which she expects him to climb]]'' as well as his comically understated reaction:
{{quote|AT: [[Captain Obvious|i THINK THIS, iS,]]<br />
AT: [[Captain Obvious|pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,]] }}
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004252 RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]
** But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004256 Kanaya's mediation tactics.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">AG: No, don't!}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">GA: Im Still Learning The Interface}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment}} </span>}}
* The narration when Tavros crashes through Vriska's bedroom wall is hilarious.
** He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all.
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* Karkat [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004443 sets up a bulletin board using Trollian] so he can send memos to all the other trolls, but it turns out to be incredibly frustrating and impractical because of [[Timey-Wimey Ball|weird time shit]]. When his future self signs in to tell him this is dumb, he bans him. Yes, he ''bans his future self''.
** He does it again in his second memo.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: GET TO THE POINT.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] }}</span> 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG}}</span> banned <span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG}}</span> from responding to memo. }}
*** And then ''this'' happens:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: HOLY HELL.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] }}</span>609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG: NO YOU WON'T.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG}}</span> banned <span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CCG}}</span> from responding to memo.
 
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">FCG}}</span> closed memo. }}
 
{{color|#626262|FCG}} closed memo. }}
*** Yes. Karkat from the future (Almost a month in the future, actually) banned ''current'' Karkat and ''closed the memo himself.''
**** Basically, the memos in their entirety. All the memos. All of them.
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** "HUMAN ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD."
** "See you soon!"
** Reexamining the video, John is wearing a spade shirt for most of it. Karkat develops/realizes Kismetic feelings as he watches. Now go to Terezi watching Dave....[[Color -Coded for Your Convenience|who has a heart shirt on]].
* R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN. Just... yeah. Terezi opens the [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004529 memo] to discuss the stupidity of Karkat's plan to troll the humans and it only gets better from there. Karkat from closer and closer in the past keeps on interrupting until he comes over and starts messing with Terezi's keypad. They ban and unban and reban each other until finally at the end:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|<nowiki;">FGC: 1 JUST THOUGHT 1 WOULD 4DD ON3 L4ST R3M4RK TO TH1S S1LL1N3SS </nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|<nowiki;">FGC: 4 R3M4RK OF R34SSUR4NC3! </nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|<nowiki;">CGC: OHH >:? </nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|<nowiki;">FGC: Y3S, YOU SHOULD TROLL TH3 HUM4NS </nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|<nowiki;">FGC: 1T W1LL B3 FUN >:] </nowikispan>}} }}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004535 This Page] helped add [[Mood Whiplash|some levity]] to the previous page when [[Tropers/Mikephisto|This Troper]] was [[The Fool|expecting]] [[Complete Monster|the]] [[Oh Crap|worst]].
* It should be obvious by now that any conversation between human and troll will be worthy of inclusion on this page. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004553 This exchange] is no exception.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: ok, i will be sure to let my guard down.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: psyche!!!!!!!!!}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: oh damn, that was 9 !'s.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: !!!!!!!1}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: shit!}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: never mind.}} </span>}}
* John dispatches some imps, but [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004567 not in the way you might expect.]
** Following that, John [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004568 examines his room]:
{{quote|Look at this mess.
Will you just LOOK at this slightly bigger mess than usual. }}
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004574 John and Vriska discussing the different roles that buckets play in human and troll society]. John, as always, is [[Completely Missing the Point|Completely Unaware Of The Point]].
** The misunderstanding leads John to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004579 kick an imp in the face for carrying a broom]. Being culturally sensitive is really hard work.
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TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof
TT: And Difficult To Engage With
TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To Be My Friend }}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004620 I dare you to find a better reaction face.]
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004658 How about the same one on a different troll?]
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{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color:#a15000;">AT: uHH, dON'T gET iN tHE rECUPERACOON, wHILE wEARING tHIS [sHIRT], sO yOU wON'T hAVE tO, uHH, cHANGE,</span> <ref>{{sic}}</ref>}}
** Mine had some from Aradia:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: i'm 0k with this shirt. maybe y0u are t00. 0r n0t. i'm 0kay with either possibility}}</span>}}
** Mine was from Terezi:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">GC:TH1S SH1RT SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS, BUT DONT COUNT ON 1T TO M4SK TH3 PUTR1D ST3NCH OF YOUR D3C31T FROM TH3 PROS3CUT1ON, H3H3H3H3H3 >:] }}</span>}}
** I ordered the God Tier!John one:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd| ;">EB: well... i guess you probably can't do the windy thing, bit that's ok! you can be my trusty sidekick. i'll handle all the windy stuff.}}</span>|Actually it said <span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd| ;">the all windy stuff.}}</span> which makes things even funnier in my book.}}
** I got a Hero of Mind God Tier hoodie. My message was from Vriska:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#005682| ;">Hahahaha. You think you have what it takes to wear this???????? Don't you know you have to 8e strong and 8rave to wear this and not 8e an em8arrassment to yourself????????}}</span>}}
** I got the same message with the Hero of Space God Tier Tee. Not fully sure why.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004624 Oh sweet Cosbytop, you have been missed.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd| ;">EB: excuse me, but spending just a little quality time with my man bill here is not a w8stey w8ste at all.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd| ;">EB: no amount of 8's in words will make that true.}} </span>}}
* Don't forget to mention [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004625 this] token.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd| ;">EB: I am the [[The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker|the Wind Waker]]. It's me.}}</span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004638 "It is] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004639 the perfect] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004640 crime."]
* Fans of ''[[Homestuck]]'' had wanted to see a full Hero Mode Gamzee and but the closest they get is [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004600 this]. Andrew Hussie in reaction to fans posted [https://web.archive.org/web/20160224154104/http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scraps2/herogamzee.gif this] on his forum.
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*** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004723 And again here, not as blurry this time.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004632 John points out] when Vriska accidentally uses [[Verbal Tic|NINE]] exclamation points. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004633 She is mortified.]
** And strangely, she is kind of [[Moe Moe|adorable]] when embarassedembarrassed. That only makes it funnier.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004642 Dave made] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/ohy34h.jpg this amazing comic] for Terezi.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: >:o</nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: D4V3...</nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C</nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D</nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">TG: yeah ok whatever you say}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">TG: fuckin aliens}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T)</nowikispan>}} }}
* Dave's adorable hyperactive crocodile consorts make [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004673 this page] [[Crosses the Line Twice|far funnier than it ought to be]]. It's even better in context: this page was immediately preceded by a page in which Terezi told him he was going to cry someday, but here it's hard to tell whether or not [[Not So Stoic|he finally lost his cool]] or [[Onion Tears|his eyes are just irritated by all the onions slices]].
* Terezi's [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/D4NC3P4RTYON3.gif four] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/D4NC3P4RTYTWO.gif part] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/D4NC3P4RTYTHR33.gif D4NC3] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/D4NC3P4RTYFOUR.gif P4RTY] series.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">TG: i cant compete with this}}</span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004684 This update.] You have to laugh at how such a simple phrase, such as, "I will make them pay" (for telling a minor "sekret") is so unbelievably bone chillingly scary when coming from Vriska.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004687 How did Vriska live without Nicolas Cage?]
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** What makes this one great? You can tell that finally, Karkat isn't just being crabby and running all caps just out of habit. No, for the larger portion of the memo, you can clearly picture him ''abso-fucking-lutely furious'' for so many reasons.
*** Dave's reaction right after Karkat's opening speech
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: ok later windbag}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.}} </span>}}
** Karkat's [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/MATINGDIAGRAMFORMORONS.gif MATING DIAGRAM FOR MORONS].
*** And Dave's reaction to it.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: and thats saying something}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST}}</span>
(...)
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with jade right now}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: no peeking k}} </span>}}
** Then you have Dave and John talking about how some of the Troll girls may like them
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: doesnt concern you dude}} </span>}}
** [http://tindeck.com/listen/oopw Now available with voice acting.]
** Even better was this:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: is that how it went down}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">?CG: FUCK OFF. }}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">CTG: haha wow bingo}} </span>}}
** Because Dave is completely and totally correct.
* Karkat's reaction to finding a bucket in Alterniabound. (It's in the room where you see Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.)
Line 304:
*** Much of Alterniabound is hilarious, especially Tavros disregarding Equius' [[Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff|warnings about stairs]] and pretty much all of Karkat's conversations with the other trolls, particularly Nepeta, Equius, and Gamzee.
*** Equius needs his own mention.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056| ;">Equius: D --> Is this where we embrace jocularly, as if we are "bros"}}</span>}}
*** Karkat [[Deadpan Snarker|snarking]] about [[Lampshade Hanging|how predictable Vriska's dialogue has become.]]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made?}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN'T AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are!}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE...}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: They are........}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|IN]]}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|THE]]}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#004183|;">VRISKA: [[Large Ham|FIIIIIIIIRE]][[Verbal Tic|!!!!!!!! ::::)]]}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.}} </span>}}
*** "You cannot be Future Aradia because in the future, Future Aradia has exploded!"
**** It's even better in hindsight when the explosion's cause is revealed... and turns out to be a ''good'' thing.
*** Gamzee's dancing.
* The "meal" Nannaquin made for John, and his reaction.
* {{<span style="color|:#b536de|;">'''TT:''' Consider this your first lesson in showmanship.}}</span>
{{quote|[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s{{=}}6&p{{=}}004706 {{=}}{{=}}>]}}
** It's hard to say whether it's funnier before or after we [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004710 see the damage for ourselves.]
Line 338:
** Which turns into [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004726 slam poetry about musclebeasts and milk].
** And on the [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004727 next page:]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: im not that strong ok}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: just cause i broke a cheap ass sword doesnt make me the fucking hulk}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">CT: D <nowiki>--> Oh</nowikispan> Oh}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: what did you go around breaking a bunch of swords too}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">CT: D <nowiki>--> No</nowikispan> No}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">CT: D <nowiki>--> Bows</nowikispan> Bows}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">CT: D <nowiki>--> Yes</nowikispan> Yes}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">CT: D <nowiki>--> Sometimes</nowikispan> Sometimes}} }}
* Since Equius has no towels, he [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004731 dries his face with Vriska's Con-Air poster.]
* Let's not forget Karkat [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004752 arguing with himself. At length.]
Line 354:
* The best weapon against Jack Noir besides the Uber bunny? [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004792 Lil' Cal.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004807 Jade tries to reach Dave], but instead ends up talking to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004808 a crocodile who stole his glasses.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: naknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknak}} </span>}}
* John trying to get Rose to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004822 stop acting so dark] and [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004823 act the way she used to.] The meta bit is that both John ''and'' the readers have been worried about her, and we're both relieved. Also on [[Homestuck/Heartwarming]].
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004824 BLUH BLUH HUGE WITCH]
Line 366:
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004924 The entirety] of this pesterlog between Jade and Dave. This troper was literally in tears at one point from laughing.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004927 This] conversation, but especially:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: basically robots are in control now}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: which is [[Good News, Bad News|good news and bad news]]}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: the bad news is theyre all pornbots and theyve got LOADS of provocative material theyre just dying to share with us}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#2ED73A|;">GG: whats the good news?}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: thats also the good news}} </span>}}
** And at the end of it all, the Readers/command-givers put unnecessary pressure on her to alchemize stuff, leading to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004933 this].
* Kanaya [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004945 finally grasps our human sarcasm].
Line 382:
{{quote|"How can shaving cream be so flammable?"
How indeed, brave heroes.
How indeed. }}
** The flammability of shaving cream was originally mentioned on [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003385 these] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003386 two] hilarious pages. It's mentioned again [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005300 here].
**** Then the fact bites [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006005 bites back] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006006 tragically.]
* One of the salamander's reactions to getting 1000 boondollars from John for a "rumpled head object."
{{quote|'''Salamander:''' oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
'''Salamander:''' ''(faster)'' THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE MY NEW RUMPLED HEAD OBJECT, AND I LOVE YOU. ''(salamander is now fast it's practically '''seizing''' with glee)'' }}
** Not to mention the haberdasher ''selling'' them—they're unsightly, too! The list includes: Rumpled Head Object, Even Rumplier Head Object, and lastly, The Rumpliest Head Object Of All.
* Another one by Terezi and Dave:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| ;">GC:}}</span> <span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">oops red is how i talk, my bad}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| ;">GC:}}</span> <span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">OH MY GOD...}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| ;">GC:}}</span> <span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">D4V3 TH1S 1S SO D3C4D3NT}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| ;">GC:}}</span> <span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">WHY D1DNT YOU 3V3R T3LL M3 HOW 4M4Z1NG 1T 1S TO TYP3 L1K3 TH1S}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| ;">GC:}}</span> <span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| <nowiki;">1 4LMOST C4NT H4NDL3 1T >:o</nowikispan>}}
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">TG: ok stop that shit is probably like crack to you}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">TG: im not going to stand by and watch you fall prey to your own wild cherry apeshit apocalypse}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282| <nowiki;">GC: OK >:[ </nowikispan>}} }}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004998 Luck doesn't actually matter] >8]
* Jade preparing for her [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005039 christmas alchemy binge] only to be interrupted by an [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005040 extremely angry Karkat.]
** Made funnier by how the doodle of Karkat is a callback [http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101204022522/mspaintadventures/images/6/6f/Vriskahussnasty.gif to] [http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101211032214/mspaintadventures/images/0/0e/03043.gif these]{{Dead link}} [http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101212022213/mspaintadventures/images/6/65/03053.gif Hussnasty]{{Dead link}} [http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101221013045/mspaintadventures/images/7/74/03093.gif portraits]{{Dead link}} of some of the other trolls.
** The text underneath the image only enhances the inherent hilarity of the image:
{{quote|{{smallcaps| Karkat cannot be conveyed with a more detailed portrait yet. He is too angry, and is forced to look like shit. Maybe later if he can manage to calm down.}}}}
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005041 shit. lets be santa]
** You Make... [[Short Circuit|Johnny 5.]] God Dammit. [[Pinocchio Syndrome|Motherfucker thinks he's alive.]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005070 HE IS A TIN CAN, ROBOTS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS.]
Line 408:
* Jade's conversation with Eridan.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005087 This,] combined with [[Mood Whiplash]].
{{quote|Come on buddy, turn that <span style{{=}}"color|:red|;">0}}</span>_<span style{{=}}"color|:blue|;">0}}</span> into a <span style{{=}}"color|:red|;">0}}</span>u<span style{{=}}"color|:blue|;">0}}</span>!
wait
No that looks stupid.
Oh well. }}
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005127 Lord English: Reveal yourself!!!!]
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005146 Jade] attempts to [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005147 slap] her sprite-self's shit back together.
Line 419:
** ...which is then [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005149 interrupted] by Karkat's trolling bubbles coming out from her plethora of wearable computers.
** And then followed not long after by Karkat imagining [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005152 Jade and Jadesprite making out].
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO [[Freudian Slip|MAKE OUT]] [[Screw Yourself|WITH MYSELF]] TO BE.}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: FUCK I MEAN}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE}} </span>}}
** Wait, no one noticed that [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005147 this conversation] was a [[Call Back]] to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003542 this one?] I thought that was hilarious.
* From [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005197 &#91;S&#93; Wake,] when Tavros confronts Vriska, she gives him the same thumbs-down Bro gave Dave. Tavros responds by holding up the severed head of one of his host plushes and making the neck-slashing gesture Dave made. Vriska responds by ''[[Crosses the Line Twice|waving around his severed legs]],'' making the same gesture at her waist.
** The crazy look on her face was just priceless.
** Bec Noir nonchalantly kicking Dream!Nepeta over was [[Mood Whiplash|surprisingly slapstick-y]] for an otherwise depressing event. This troper blames the accompanying sound effect. {{<span style="color|:red|;">DOOF.}}</span>
*** Likewise when Vriska slaps Tavros. It's in the same art style as the ROBO-SLAP. Of course the funny stopped when she impaled him.
**** Bahahahahaha—awwwww....
Line 438:
** Six panels of her preparing to give him mouth-to-mouth so far and no contact yet. Thank you, Hussie. We needed this after the Gamzee thing.
{{quote|This is not going to be pretty. But what are friends for if they
cant smooch each others butchered corpses when the need arises? }}
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005284 2x Corpsesmooch COMBO!!!]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005289 This]. ''[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005290 Is].'' '''[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005291 STUPID].'''
Line 445:
* The [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005303 stuff in Dad's wallet modus] is hilarious. In addition to the literal ton of shaving cream, Dad had also stored away ten tons of pipe tobacco, the tickets to Cirque Du Soleil (presumably from that visit that [[Persona Non Grata|banned]]), and a ''spare car.'' In his ''wallet''.
** Followed swiftly by John's thoughts on his fathers interest in Mr. Foxworthy:
{{quote|Those redneck jokes were so corny and stupid. You secretly suspected your father was mostly arrested by the man's mustache. Maybe he fantasized about shaving the man's [[Egregious]] furry lip? This seems like a reasonable theory to you. }}
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005307 BEEP. BEEP.] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005308 Get in the car, John.]
** <s> ROAD TRIP</s> [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005312 WE] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005313 HAVE] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005314 LIF][http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=025.jpg DOFF!] [[Nightmare Fuel|Don't look at the cloud]]
Line 455:
* Every talk between Nepeta and Equius in [https://web.archive.org/web/20130921134616/http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005338 this] flash. Especially the roleplay.
** They don't just roleplay, they roleplay as ''each other.'' Nepeta's imitation of Equius is particularly hilarious, especially with the shades.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#5f8101|;">NEPETA: :33 < D--> *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">EQUIUS: D--> That's not how I talk.}}</span>
(...)
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">EQUIUS: D--> *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">EQUIUS: D--> *It commands it, do as it says*}} </span>}}
** "speaking metafurrikitty"
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005345 This is completely terrifying.]
* The transition from [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005357 Gamzee] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005358 walking] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005359 slowly] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005360 toward] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005360 Nepeta] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005361 to] [[Mood Whiplash|the]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005362 "BEEP"] of John's wind-powered flying car horn. While it [[Crosses the Line Twice]], it is similar to Karkat's reaction being needed relief after all [[Tear Jerker|those murders.]]
* {{<span style="color|:#004183|;">[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005368 AG:] Yes, she was a ghost, and then 8ecame a ro8ot. Then she 8ecame a THOUSAND ro8ots.}}</span> Then Jack killed them all 8ut one. Then she 8lew up. {{<span style="color|:#004183|;">Oh, and she also had that exact 8izarre laptop you are using right now. How weird is that?}}</span>
* Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox. As usual, you fail to resist the urge. You start thrashing up stunts something uncannybrutal on your quest for [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005379 OH GOD DAMMIT].
* Dead Tavros [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005391 pays Dead Dave a visit.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: so aradia just so were clear}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: this is like a hellbubble right}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: its my eternal punishment to have shitty rapoffs with this tool forever is that it}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: yes you figured out the mystery!}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: i guess i had it coming for a flagrant lifetime spent being unbelievably fucking incredible at rap and just about practically everything else}}</span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TG: except not dying}} </span>}}
** Just before that:
{{quote| AT: cERTAIN FEATURES OF YOUR PALE ANATOMY MAY SERVE AS THE MARSH MALLOW INGREDIENT, nEEDED FOR THE MOLTEN SNACK,<br />
AT: i WILL PROVIDE THE FUDGE, }:D }}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005407 Vriska reads her ancestor's journal] containing what seems to be the troll equivalent of a bodice ripper romance novel.
* Vriska, Eridan, and Gamzee appear to be facing off in what is sure to be an epic (or horribly-[[Curb Stomp Battle|one-sided]]) battle. Kanaya, now revived, also shows up, and it's the first time anyone has seen her since she died. What happens next? Kanaya, now [[Power Glows|glowing]], rushes over and ''[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005424 kicks] Gamzee in the <s>crotch</s> bone bulge'', [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005425 sending him] [[Anticlimax Boss|over the cliff]].
** You forgot the best part: {{<span style="color|:indigo|;">hooooooooooooooooooooonk}}</span>
*** No, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005426 this] is the best part.
*** I think you mean [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005428 this.]
Line 492:
** "He says, you mean the very same droll who couldn't manage the one simple task assigned to him, to steal the White Queen's ring from the very same adoring, wonderful girl and master and friend in question? Wait. He says he just means girl. Just girl. You didn't hear any of that. You don't say anything."
* Aradia's conversation with a dead Aradiabot and an unconscious Sollux.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#a1a100|;">TA: 0_0}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#a1a100|;">TA: FUCK, i cann0t BELIEVE i just made that face.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: hahahahaha!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#000056|;">AA: hahahahaha!}} </span>}}
*
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: just as if you stay in one place for too long the geometry of space surrounding you will become unreliable}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: you may swat the air to your left and discover you have just slapped yourself!}} </span>}}
** [[Call Back|Say, Jade,]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003348 doesn't that sound] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003349 kind of familiar?]
* Sollux and Aradia in the dream bubble are good for these moments.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#a1a100|;">TA: man, being blind is dumb, [[Ship Tease|can i like gr0pe y0u 0r s0mething]] t0 get up t0 date 0n y0ur appearance, w0uld that be weird?}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#a10000|;">AA: yes sollux that would probably be pretty weird}} </span>}}
* {{<span style="color|:#2ED73A|;">D}}</span>{{color|whitespoiler|o}}{{<span style="color|:#2ED73A|;">c Scratch}}</span> attempting to be civil to Spades Slick. While Slick is clubbing his enormous white head with his trademark horse hitcher.
{{quote| <nowiki>[</nowiki>{{color|whitespoiler|You're not going to stop, are you. It will be very difficult to discuss our points of mutual interest like this. I was prepared to go about it in a civilized way, even though I knew very well I would spend the first several minutes of our meeting sitting on the floor while being flogged. I have even prepared a bowl of candy for you, which I know you will enjoy. Courtesy is important, Jack. Do you have anything at all to say? Any form of communication you care to attempt beyond the sound iron makes against my head repeatedly?}}<br />
{{color|whiteSpoiler|No, of course not.}}<nowiki>]</nowiki> }}
** And let's not forget evidence that he really was synthesized from Lil' Cal.:
{{quote| <nowiki>[</nowiki>{{color|whitespoiler|Haa haa. Hee hee. Hoo hoo.}}<nowiki>]</nowiki>}}
* Slick [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005523 really likes licorice scottie dogs]. He [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005524 REALLY likes them].
* Rose's conversation with {{<span style="color|:#2ED73A|;">D}}</span>{{color|whitespoiler|o}}{{<span style="color|:#2ED73A|;">c Scratch}}</span>, in which Scratch [[Digging Yourself Deeper|accidentally comes off]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20130815121354/http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005527 a little] [[Mistaken for Pedophile|creepy]].
{{quote| <nowiki>[</nowiki>{{color|whitespoiler|There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures. In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.}}<nowiki>]</nowiki><br />
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536de|;">TT: Oh my god.}} </span>}}
** The conversation [[Sarcasm Mode|gets]] [[It Got Worse|better.]] When he refers to [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005528 the White King,] the Homestuck reader knows he means the fifth exile, but Rose hearing it from a guy made completely of white means something [[I Thought It Meant|creepily]] [[Unfortunate Implications|unsettling.]]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536de|;">TT: You're being creepy again.}} <br /span>
<nowiki>[</nowiki>{{color|whitespoiler|No I'm not. Besides, [[I Call Him "Mister Happy"|the White King]] agrees with me.}}<nowiki>]</nowiki> <br />
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536de|;">TT: [[Flat What|What?]]}} </span>}}
** The conversation also has a fun [[Call Back|call]][http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005532 back.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536de|;">TT: Friendship isn't an emotion, numbnuts.}}</span>}}
* When he crashes into the private conversation of Rose and Jade, it is as hilarious as it is creepy.
{{quote| <nowiki>[</nowiki>{{color|whitespoiler|Hello ladies.}}<nowiki>]</nowiki>}}
** And then [https://web.archive.org/web/20110901082440/http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?37461-Rose-Show-Genuine-Distress&p=4821142&viewfull=1#post4821142 this image] makes it more hilarious, with a [[Call Back]] with a [[Memetic Mutation]].
** Jade's reaction is especially funny as well.
Line 542:
* Despite the result of the above, Doc still takes time to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005722 refill the candy bowl.] (Once again, the site banner.)
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005743 Karkat meets Terezi on the roof.] He is holding a note with blood in it.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#2b0057|<nowiki;">bro. SLOPPY M4K3OUTS. NOW. on the roof. H3H3H3 >:o] </nowikispan>}}}}
* Doc Scratch does not enjoy Sloppy Makeouts. [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005755 He does not enjoy them at all.] (Banner again)
** And so he decides to [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005758 intervene.]
Line 550:
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005766 AUTO-HARLEY!]
* This exchange here:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|<nowiki;">EB: aradia? </nowiki>}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|<nowiki;">CG: JUST ANOTHER DEAD TROLL, WHO CARES. </nowiki>}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|<nowiki;">EB: :( </nowiki>}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|<nowiki;">CG: STOP FROWNING, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE SHE DIED. </nowiki>}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|<nowiki;">EB: ... </nowiki>}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|<nowiki;">EB: :( </nowikispan>}} }}
 
* Karkat's [[That Came Out Wrong|hilariously inappropriate slew of Freudian slips]] while trying to get John up to speed on things [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005771 here] (the first doubling as a [[Call Back]]):
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: I MEAN }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. }} </span>}}
** and shortly after:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: WE'VE ALL GOT FLAWS, EVEN HER }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: WAIT }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: FUCK }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: wow. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: /raises eyebrows }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: ok, i am putting them back down as not suggestively as possible. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: what is what this is? }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: IT'S NOTHING, YOU SHIT. IT HAS BEEN THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTLING THROUGH OUR SNORT BARRELS WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER INAPPROPRIATELY. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: was... }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">EB: was that another weird erotic slip of the tongue? }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEING WORKED UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FUCKING CONNIPTION AND SAYING SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NOT BE CLEAR BY NOW??? }} </span>}}
* If music counts... the [[Nicolas Cage|Nic]] [[Stupid Statement Dance Mix|Cage]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20131114150231/http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/nic-cage-song Song].
** It gets so much better with the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeXIoBnu2MU fan video].
Line 588 ⟶ 587:
** Was anyone else hearing [[Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!|Tim and Eric's]] 'SPORTS!' song playing in their head as they read that?
* Before all of the unpleasantness on the asteroid happened, Jade gave Karkat a mildly self-deprecating phrase to use as their chat password. Karkat...blows it a little out of proportion.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: LET'S SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER, IT WAS PRETTY ELABORATE IF I RECALL, OK HERE GOES.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, [[Foreshadowing|AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS]] "[[Memetic Mutation|PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS]], [[Foreshadowing|CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT."]] WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME. }} </span>}}
* Jade ''wapping Bec Noir'' upside the head with a newspaper.
* Gamzee admitting to wanting to make out with Tavros. It comes almost entirely out of left field and Tavros is completely dumbfounded about it.
** Gamzee referring to a light that makes him wince. [[Groin Attack|If only he knew]].
** The rapping beforehand is also pretty hilarious.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#a15000|;">AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES,}}</span>}}
* Despite being a gigantic [[Tear Jerker]] for [[The Woobie|Karkat]], the 8/2/11 updates manage to be tragically absurd.
{{quote| CG: I THINK I GAVE HIM CANCER.<br />
CG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.<br />
CG: SORRY. }}
* Hussie [https://web.archive.org/web/20130821190306/http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005956 breaks the fifth wall]. It could probably be a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]], but the [[Alt Text]] kind of throws you off. Booyeah!
* The [[Alt Text]] for [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005959 this page].
* The scary wolf head [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005963 makes a reappearance]. (look at the banner)
{{quote| '''Hussie in [[Alt Text]]:''' Ah-ha! Caught red-handed you bastard. You stop clogging up my story with your troll fanfiction this instaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.}}
**
{{quote| [[Captain Obvious|That was not the right door.]]}}
* AH's monologue as he sneaks up on Scratch is pretty amusing as well.
{{quote| My heartbeat falls in rhythm with the clock as I draw close to my prey. I leave nothing to chance, for you see it is the most dangerous prey of all, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders who wont shut up. Wait for it, Hussie. Wait for it...}}
** In fact, let's just say all the [[Alt Text]] is hilarious.
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005973 AH's] [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005974 getback] [http://mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005975 at] Doc Scratch for taking over his narration. Look at how they wiggle as Hussie attacks Doc Scratch! Doubles as [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]].
{{quote| Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style.}}
 
{{quote| See? Even that little girl has had enough of your shit. Run, Aradia's ancestor! Run!!!! You have locked up your last asian schoolgirl, you sick fuck.<br />
Oh don't you flop around at me like that. Are you listening little man?! }}
** And sure enough, all that flopping around gave a couple of people [https://web.archive.org/web/20130213034742/http://homestuckfighter.info/cyborg771/CongaStuck/ an idea...]
*** And then Hussie made that pic his Twitter feed background.
Line 618 ⟶ 617:
** In the flash beforehand, everyone in the vicinity 'fills a quadrant' with Gamzee, but gets stopped by Karkat. Kanaya attempts to ashen-mediate between Karkat and Gamzee, Terezi tries to go caliginous for him, and Karkat is later revealed to be pale with Gamzee, which leaves Sollux as flushed. Instead, he has mixed flushed/caliginous feelings, and starts yelling at what he ''thinks'' is Gamzee... but is facing the wrong way, and is yelling at Li'l Cal instead. It's ''hilarious''.
** The shoosh/pap moment also manages to make [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005767 this bit] from a few updates back [[Hilarious in Hindsight]] as well:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.}} </span>}}
* Andrew returns to his old [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005996 narrating] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005997 ways.] Doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]], too.
* Speaking of the Act 5 Flash, there's one short moment with Terezi pointing up at the Green Sun, and Karkat grabbing her arm and pointing her in the right direction.
Line 628 ⟶ 627:
* The Beginning of Act 6 focuses on a billboard of [[Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff]]: [[The Movie|THE MOIVE]] for a few seconds.
* The [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=001982 opening sequence] for Homestuck Alpha happens [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006022 entirely offscreen.]
{{quote| ''"Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"''}}
** We did see the part where she stared up at the sky.
* Crazylegs Hussie. That is all.
Line 638 ⟶ 637:
* Jane's thoughts on [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006059 donning] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006060 clever] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006061 disguises.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006071 Jake: Make out with all of them.]
{{quote| "Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always. "}}
* Jake [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006085 getting increasingly irritated with Strider's auto-response bot]:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!}}</span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006102 Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130509084042/http://christwire.org/2011/11/the-works-of-evil-andrew-hussies-devil-worship/ The Works of Evil: Andrew Hussie's Devil Worship] is quite possibly the funniest article ever written about Homestuck.
Line 646 ⟶ 645:
* We [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006122 finally find out] where all the [[Running Gag|pumpkins]] have been disappearing to!
* Roxy, on Betty Crocker's influence:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2|;">TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2|;">TG: * horbible}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2|;">TG: * whore bible}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2|;">TG: ^ bullseye}} </span>}}
* Speaking of bullseyes:
{{quote| [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s{{=}}6&p{{=}}006132 AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.]}}
** Doubles as [[Mood Whiplash/Homestuck|Mood Whiplash]]
*** Also, [[Homestuck/Fridge|Fridge Brilliance]], considering Jake just killed Tavros' guardian. (Or at least one of the same species.)
* Meta example: go to [[wikipedia:Betty Crocker|the Betty Crocker Wikipedia page]]. Scroll down to 'in popular culture.' Suddenly realise how ''utterly absurd'' Homestuck truly is.
** Saved due to it constantly being removed:
{{quote| A fictionalized version, of the Betty Crocker character, is a supporting character in the webcomic ''Homestuck'', wherein she is sometimes referred to as the "Batter Witch". This portrayal is married to a fictionalized version of Mark Twain in the early 20th century. It is strongly implied that she's a malevolent, nigh-immortal alien from another universe, and is using her corporate empire to control the population, and to bring about the ruin of this universe.}}
* "[[Sophisticated As Hell|The Tao of falling the]] [[Precision F-Strike|fuck]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006157 down]"
* Strider's touching and entirely disturbing monologue about the power of his puppetry.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#00d5f2|;">GG: Oh yes? }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#00d5f2|;">GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry? }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Yeah.}} </span>}}
* Which is funnier - the bunny fidgeting the [[Potty Dance]] while [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006163 holding the fridge,] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006164 Jane reacting] [[Annoying Younger Sibling|annoyed at the bunny]] for [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006165 putting the fridge down] [[Comically Missing the Point|WRONG,]] OR [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006166 B2!Dad noticing the mess] with [[Stunned Silence]]?
* [[Faux Horrific|OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY.]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006173 HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006174 Nearby,] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006175 someone or something] [[Hell Is That Noise|bleats like]][[Brick Joke|a goat]] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006176 for strategic purposes.] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006177 And also Ironic purposes.]
Line 690 ⟶ 689:
* Karkat jokingly freaks out at the possibility of having his eyes burned out by the Green Sun and asks if "one of you awesome dudes has a radical pair of shades I can borrow?" [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006251 Kanaya] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006252 obliges].<ref>with Equius's shades</ref>
* All of the dialogue with the kids and the trolls in front of the green sun, but the end of Rose's exposition is especially hilarious.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: OH}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: It'll only take about three years.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: OK}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN?}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: Yes, two.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: And then fifty more.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.}} </span>}}
* Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006257 this] conversation.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it?}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: yeah}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: Hmm.}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: what}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: You bastard.}} </span>}}
** This troper busted out laughing and doubled over at that line.
** And immediately before that:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: not really}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: oh wait}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: against all odds i sorta do}} </span>}}
* The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">TEREZI: 1 4M SO SORRY YOU GUYS}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">TEREZI: W3 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4 LOT COOL3R TH4N TH1S!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">DAVE: are you actually}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">TEREZI: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">TEREZI: NO}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008282|;">TEREZI: NO W3 AR3 NOT}} </span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006262 Karkat] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006263 being] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006264 slowly] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006265 hit] by a bucket had this troper in stitches!
** The arms really sell it.
Line 776 ⟶ 775:
* [[I Hate Past Me|Karkat opens another]] [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006585 memo.]
* After finishing his conversation with future Karkat, Karkat proceeds to respond to the memo that he had created ten minutes ago because he wants to antagonize a version of himself that's 10 minutes away. What really hammers it in is the chat bubble above his head, which shows Karkat yelling at Karkat, whos yelling at karkat, who's yelling at Karkat...
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">KANAYA:}}</span> [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s{{=}}6&p{{=}}006597 No]<br />
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">KANAYA: Just}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">KANAYA:}}</span> [[Precision F-Strike|Fuck]] <span style{{=}}"color|:#008141|;">That Guy}} </span>}}
* Then there's the coffee machine - aka the [[Stealth Pun|Instant Revitalizing Machine]] from [[EarthBound]].
* Rose reveals that Dave was checking out their mom—months ago, in a dream, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006608 and she never said a thing about it. ;)]
* Dave and Karkat's [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006610 most recent interaction]{{when}} ends with Karkat grabbing Dave's cape, and Dave telling him to knock it off, resulting in this:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it}}</span>}}
* To paraphrase...
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">Karkat: Dave, read this trashy troll romance novel. It will fix everything.}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">Dave: No. Hell no.}}<br /span>
[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s{{=}}6&p{{=}}006613 Rose: *yoink*] }}
** It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
*** It gets even funnier when you think about it: Karkat doesn't even really react or yell at her for it other than just stare at her. That means he's used to it because SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE.
* [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006614 This update] to [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006618 this update.] That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">DAVE: no}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: WHAT??}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">DAVE: were still drawing}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262|;">KARKAT: LET GO}} </span>}}
** You cannot beat Strider in a counter-troll-off. HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS!
** This is eventually followed by Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about their desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
** Karkat getting [[Cape Snag|wrapped in Dave's cape]], forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006636 John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#4ac925|;">JADE: aww}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#0715cd|;">JOHN: whereas i will [[Man Hug|offer dave a tender bro embrace]], and [[Vitriolic Best Buds|shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs]].}} </span>}}
** [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006637 And seconds later Jaspers is meowing John the birthday song], and pissing off Dog Tier Jade in the process. [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006638 Chase ensues.]
* John's face getting trampled by Dream Roxy. Bonus points because it calls back to Karkat getting hit in the face by a bucket AND Jake's dreambubble meeting.
Line 810 ⟶ 809:
** He also rushes SS to said balcony using his hilarious [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006696 "throttling Doc Scratch" animation.]
* [[Irony]]: [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006702 Hussie's doing it wrong.]
{{quote| '''Hussie''': You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly [[Self-Deprecation|as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.]]}}
** His [[Cluster F-Bomb]] when he remembers that Doc Scratch only ever put one [[Abnormal Ammo|cueball]] [[It Works Better with Bullets|in his gun]].
{{quote| '''Hussie''': How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...<br />
'''Hussie''': WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT. }}
* Hussie [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/DOTA/ proposes to Vriska]. [[Hilarity Ensues]].
* Dirk's Auto-Responder explains to Jane [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006726 just how tight he is with Lil Sebastian.]
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#00d5f2|;">GG: Oh yeah?}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TT: It's like he is the Incredible Hulk's pants, and I am his monstrous package yearning to bust loose.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#00d5f2|;">GG: Blehhhh, why??}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TT: Jane.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707|;">TT: It seems there is a way bigger than average probability that you do not want to discuss Bruce Banner's megalithic gamma schlong.}} </span>}}
* Jane's possible responses for meeting Gamzee(?) and being asked if she would like for him to be her guide are [[But Thou Must!|"No" and "Fuck no."]] Even Jane, who's never met him before, already knows he's trouble.
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006727 Jane cautiously approaches Gamzee.] [[Crosses the Line Twice]] with [[Tear Jerker]] and [[Nightmare Fuel]]?? Check. Mixture of [[Squick]] and [[Black Comedy]]?? Double check. [[Lampshade Hanging]] the forums' talk about how he got his new clothes with shenanigans? Triple check. The ability to click on his codpiece? Quadruple check. The [[Dissonant Serenity]] of the music?? Quintuple check. Jane's reaction to everything?? Sextuple check, and [[Beyond the Impossible|oh so priceless.]] Anything else missed??
Line 827 ⟶ 826:
* Say hello to your wonderful new guide, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006734 Jane]!
* Jake and Dirk give us this little gem:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine??? }}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">:TT: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">:TT: He said unironically. }} </span>}}
* Ladies and gentlemen, [http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006764 the third anti-christ.]
** While we're at it, we have the [[Insane Clown Posse|Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope]] Administration. Although it's filled with [[Nightmare Fuel]], there's a lot of [[Refuge in Audacity]] and [[Crosses the Line Twice|so many crossed lines.]]
{{quote| '''[[Twitter|@andrewhussie]]''': [[A Rare Sentence|a line i seriously just wrote in reality]]: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."}}
* Another gem between Dirk and Jake:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Either you get your shit together and put the moves on this dead space vixen or I start fucking with your cortex and make you pop a dream boner.}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A BONER DIRK!!!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Sorry Jake. The plan's in motion.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Next stop, Boner City.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: SO THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG???}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: TO GIVE ME A BONER???}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: And you}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: ...}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#f2a400|;">TT: Got one.}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#1f9400|;">GT: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!}} </span>}}
* The entire conversation between Dirk and Jake is made more hilarious with the reveal that "Dirk" is just a figment dreamed up by Jake. Jake is having an argument with ''himself''. And losing. Badly.
** Not to mention that it seems he's having said argument in front of Aranea.
Line 852 ⟶ 851:
** CD's attempt at sending Jack help along with the message, "You're welcome." With a picture of him winking.
** The [[Running Gag]] of Jack killing the guards making his own escape harder.
{{quote| That is not how you convince someone to do something. You're supposed to save the stabbing until AFTER you intimidate him into doing what you want! How exactly is a dead guy supposed to pick up some keys for you?! }}
** Being the other guy, who happens to be a sentry Jack just killed, which acts as a [[Relax-O-Vision]] from Jack fighting a regulator lug.
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006824 You be the other guy again while they beat you senseless.]
Line 859 ⟶ 858:
* Jane's Dad has officially gone overboard with the [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006854 notes.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006865 uu has Dirk draw him some porn]. It is much funnier than anyone could expect. After two pages of "porn" so tame and non-sexual you could print it on a cereal box, we get:
{{quote| uu: IT'S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE. <br />
uu: [[Crosses the Line Twice|HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD]].<br />
TT: [http://goowww.glmspaintadventures.com/itJgastoryfiles/hs2/scraps/smuut12.gif (link)]. }}
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/04966_2.gif Dirk is clearly not enjoying this]. It's even funnier due to these events being contrasted to his epic battle against an army of robots in his relative future.
*** From the expression, he looks ''bored'', making it even more amusing. He clearly would be happier if he was allowed to get into deeper territory.
Line 870 ⟶ 869:
* After uu's rather dark [[Mood Whiplash]], we get Aranea [[Not So Stoic|losing her seemingly perpetual cool]] when she finds out all hell broke lose on the purple moon between Meenah, Karkat, Dave, and Kanaya [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006884 in the few minutes she was gone to pick up Jake].
** Then, Dave asks Rose this:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: (rose whos the john looking kid)}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#b536da| ;">ROSE: (I think it's young Father-Grandad Harleybert.)}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#e00707| ;">DAVE: ([[Flat What|what]])}} </span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006885 Meenah aproaching and backing off ad infinitum.]
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006887 Meenah and Karkat]:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#77003c| ;">MEENAH: that guy!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#77003c| ;">MEENAH: nubbyshouts}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#77003c| ;">MEENAH: that guy is cool!!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: THANKS, WHOEVER THE FUCK!!!}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#626262| ;">KARKAT: BYE.}} </span>}}
* [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006889 _(^q^)_ ]
** Throughout the conversation, her various creative snoring sounds
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2| ;">zzzzzznort,,..}} <br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2| ;">*SNOAR*}}<br /span>
<span style{{=}}"color|:#ff6ff2| ;">lol snork ;D}} </span>}}
* Before [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006890 Aranea's] [[Info Dump]], [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006891 Meenah begins a shorter version.]
** [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006899 And Meenah's conclusion.]
{{quote| '''Meenah''': now were ghosts the end}}
** In between, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006895 Meenah's] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006896 plan] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006897 works] [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006898 perfectly.]
{{quote| [[Suicide as Comedy|BETTER]] [[Gone Horribly Right|LUCK]] [[Crosses the Line Twice|NEXT]] [[Refuge in Audacity|TIME]]}}
* Aranea is utterly enraged by the above event, and sarcastically gives [[Better Than It Sounds]] summaries of the lives of all the A2 Ancestors. Ampora and Makara's really stand out though:
{{quote| '''ARANEA''': Ampora was a pirate. No8ody liked him. He killed a lot of people, 8ut was later executed 8ecause he was una8le to tell a funny joke. What else needs to 8e said? That's right. Nothing. <br />
'''ARANEA''': Makara was the guy who didn't like his joke. He was terri8le and so is his story. Period. }}
* Out of a slight misunderstanding of the situation, Jake believes Meenah is the batterwitch that will take over the Earth despite being dead and a different version, resulting in him engaging in [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|a fight in the belief he is being heroic in saving the world]]. [[Hilarity Ensues]].
** Also Meenah is still too busy fangirling over the Condesce to care.
Line 901 ⟶ 900:
 
== Meta & Fan Content ==
* If you're willing to brave [[Fur Affinity]], then [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/adiostoreador/ adiosToreador getting counter-trolled] until he ''fled in terror'' is a sight to behold. The following pages contain roughly a third of the comments he left there, and though Hussie himself wasn't behind it they're still painfully funny.: [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/gardengnostic/ link 01], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3702317/ link 02], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3719715/ link 03], [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1362987/ link 04], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3766020/ link 05], [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1363041/ link 06], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3770808/ link 07], [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1365909/ link 08], [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1369139/ link 09], [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1375670/ link 10], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3794610/ link 11], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3798409/ link 12], [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3798591/ link 13], and [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1377807/ link 14].
* Not long after ''Alternia'' was released, Andrew announced that another album was already in the works. What did it turn out to be? [https://web.archive.org/web/20131104183037/http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/album/squiddles A Squiddles album!]
* In somewhat of a meta-example, a fan on the forums by the name of Lotus wrote a ''15 page'' '''research paper''' on the ship teasing between John and Rose. The panel immediately after this featured a lotus in the book Rose was reading, before proceeding to be a ridiculously ship teasing conversation.
Line 908 ⟶ 907:
*** The reference to lotus is to the ring of Skaia shown [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004802 here], a few panels before that, which was the immediately subsequent panel to the release of the paper. The conversation was continued immediately as well (as Andrew often updates with several panels at once).
* As long as we're going meta, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj78CPBfMfM this poor guy's reaction] to the [[Nightmare Fuel]] known as ''[s] Jade: Wake Up'', in a schadenfreude sort of way.
{{quote| '''kyouger:''' ''[[Little No|stop]]''}}
** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laZBXoR1XrM No! Not doof!]"
* An [https://web.archive.org/web/20140102022417/http://fourthwallgifs.com/ MSPA GIF site] has appeared (hilariously) ripping off [http://www.gif.tv/ another comedy site].
* In the anticipation of the EOA5 Flash, Michael Bowman of the music team gives us a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFJUa31fVHw little preview...]
* The End of Act 5 Flash was hosted on [[Newgrounds]]. Soon after it went up, the entire site ''crashed'' due to the sheer amount of traffic. Doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]].
{{quote| '''Hussie's Twitter feed''': [[Casual Danger Dialog|well that didn't work]]}}
** To give an idea as to exactly what "soon" means in this context, using time codes on forum posts, this Troper figured out that Newgrounds went down in about 3 minutes. From EoA5 posting to Newgrounds' demise.
{{quote| '''[[Questionable Content|jephjacques]]''' '''[[Andrew Hussie|@andrewhussie]]''' the internet is going to explode when you hit 100%, you fucker<br />
'''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''' '''[[Questionable Content|@jephjacques]]''' i'm going to be [[Unflinching Walk|walking away from it in slow motion]] [http://ib.skaia.net/post/view/21088 smoking a cigarette] }}
** [http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltlxk2mvh51qdo4cxo1_500.png Cool guys don't look at explosions]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrv0CGThaFM Cake ft. Jake.] That is all. Saying anything else would ruin the surprise.
* One day on the [http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/ Tumblr blog] of [[Andrew Hussie]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20130312060654/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12676427841/im-opening-the-ask-box-for-10-or-15-minutes he allowed questions to be submitted for ten minutes.] Knowing how big the fandom is, [https://web.archive.org/web/20130312060844/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12676676866/oh-no-10-minutes-is-going-to-be-way-too-long-to-leave it] [https://web.archive.org/web/20130312060827/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12676842498/ok-i-think-50-billion-questions-will-probably-suffice went] [[Gone Horribly Right]].
{{quote| '''[[Andrew Hussie]]''': [[Oh Crap|oh]] [[Little No|no]]<br />
[[Crowning Moment of Funny|oh no……………]] }}
* [http://sonnetstuck.tumblr.com/post/15130964351/green-eggs-and-dead-a-homestuck-storybook This] fanmade comic turns the glut of character deaths into [[Bloody Hilarious|hilarity.]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqDm-9VA-BI Here's] what the [[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]] has to say about trolls.
* [[Dante Basco]], actor of [[Hook|Rufio]], [http://rufiozuko.tumblr.com/post/18307852509/homestuck is reading Homestuck]. This is funny, or will be funny if and when he reaches Act 5.
** Until then, we have Hussie fanboying over it on Twitter:
{{quote| '''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''': Guys, I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that Dante Basco, aka Rufio from Hook, is currently reading Homestuck.<br />
'''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''': I wonder what he will think when he [[Squick|discovers me kissing his corpse?]]<br />
'''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''': Assuming he makes it that far. Do Hollywood superstars even have that kind of time??<br />
'''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''': I have to make sure I don't scare him off or anything. Do NOT fuck this up Hussie. Pull it together. There is a lot riding on this. }}
 
{{quote| '''[[Andrew Hussie|andrewhussie]]''': And just like that, I have already gone too far. [http://mspaintadventures.com/scraps2/hellodante.gif\]}}
** Hell, Dante's liveblog alone is ''filled'' with crowning moments of funny as he reminds us all of precisely how confusing the first few acts are, which combined with the undoubtedly strange feeling of thousands of people egging you on and encouraging you leaves him hilarious nonplussed about the entire thing.
{{quote| ''And yes, I saw the “Hello Dante”… I greeted him on twitter… I have to admit, that’s pretty dope. I wonder if he makes this first part so hard to get as an obstacle for those not worthy to get the story… a somewhat right'' (sic) ''of passage… maybe I’m just rambling and have no idea what I’m talking about… [http://rufiozuko.tumblr.com/post/18372691688/i-think-im-losing-my-mind-im-actually Back to reading].''}}
*** He was [http://rufiozuko.tumblr.com/post/19728578344/end-of-act-4-b-tches successfully trolled] by Hussie with the [[Fake-Out Fade-Out|fake end]] of Act Four, the [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?|bunny distribution flash.]]
** And now we wait. >:D
Line 939 ⟶ 938:
** It's especially funny from the perspective of one who's read the comic: right from meeting him, she hates Gamzee, which just makes her reaction to his [[Monster Clown|freakout]] in Act 5 Act 2 a hilarious [[Foregone Conclusion]].
** Not to mention her reaction to finding out her starsign is Capricorn, as well.
{{quote| WtFiH: Correct! My star sign is Capricorn! However, Gamzee is- what- wait... oh, ''oh FUCK ME.''}}
*** In a hilarious coincidence, the same thing happened in [https://web.archive.org/web/20140325082643/http://so-i-am-reading-homestuck.tumblr.com/ another reaction blog]. In this case, the author is quite skeeved out by Equius and is [http://so-i-am-reading-homestuck.tumblr.com/post/12607564894/also-nepeta-what-do-you-think-of-nepeta-also-what asked what his sign is]{{Dead link}}...
{{quote| SIARH: [...] Sagittarius<br />
SIARH: …wait<br />
SIARH: FUCK }}
** She also loves [[Alt Text|using the tags]] for extra effect. Sometimes they're [http://what-the-fuck-is-homestuck.tumblr.com/post/21121206906 funnier] than the main post.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxRzR63adPo Good lard... Jegus]

Latest revision as of 12:56, 20 July 2024


> SEEK WEBCOMIC-RELATED HILARITIES

My, there's quite a list of knee-slappers! Feel free to examine them in more detail.

WARNING! There are unmarked Spoilers ahead. Beware. Due to the constantly updating[please verify] nature of Homestuck, all spoilers are left unmarked.

NOTE: Should this page be categorized into Acts like the Nightmare Fuel and Awesome pages? Just saying.


Yeah, there was pretty much no way there wasn't going to be a bunch of puppets in there.

"Congratulations, you advance your matching skill to the new level: YUKON HERO: LEGACY OF THE FROSTBITE AMPUTEE."

TG: if kangaroo rat yiff twice plz

TG: thats what you see / a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together / radially effervescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine / turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong

    • Made more hilarious by the ending, that being that adiosToreador blocks Dave at the end of that conversation, which is the opposite of how many conversations with the trolls go.
  • The bit with WV's can town was a command, but AR has a completely random freakout:

You need to take a moment to wear something ridiculous before you continue your spiel... ORDER IN THE COURT. YOU WILL HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURTROOM.

Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly.

TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast.

CG: OK IF YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN WHEN SHE TRIES HATCHING MORE PLANS GIVE HER A MESSAGE INTO THE PAST FOR ME.
EB: ok.
CG: TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT.
CG: ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE.

EB: oh, he said to give you a message...
GC: OH >:?
EB: he wants you to touch his bone lump or something.
GC: WH4T!!!
EB: and that he's pretty much basically in love with you.
GC: W41T
GC: D1D H3 4CTU4LLY S4Y TH4T
GC: 1N CONF1D3NC3
EB: yeah, i dunno, pretty much.
GC: C4N YOU COPY 3X4CTLY WH4T H3 S41D
EB: ohhh no, we're not going down that road!

TG: god so beautiful to look at with my perfect eyesight
GC: C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS?
TG: yeah thats fine

TC: bUt NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInG sOmE pIe
TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM.

ROBO SLAP!

  • SHE HAS WHAT?!
  • Vriska ask her MAGIC CUE BALL (whose answers can only be seen by x-ray vision... or vision eight-fold) if she should be worried about Terezi's threat.

YES
Ok, little ball. Fine. If you're so smart, then answer this! How is it going to happen!
HOW????????
I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

Cue the ball exploding in her face.
  • The last update Andrew did before leaving for a week begins here and ends with, uh, this. But it easily overlaps with Nightmare Fuel and possibly CMOH and/or Tear Jerker, but really it's just such an over the top scene that it's simply incredibly hilarious in spite of all that. What makes it even better is the aforementioned fact that it's the last update in a week. Andrew's comment in the thread:

But I guess all this can be discussed into the ground in the coming week. Over what shall heretofore be known as THE WEEK OF THE GREAT ROBOSMOOCH OF 2010.

aG: Say you're sorry for being a cripple! Wheeeeeeee!

GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head
AG: No, don't!
GA: Im Still Learning The Interface
GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment

  • The narration when Tavros crashes through Vriska's bedroom wall is hilarious.
    • He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all.
    • Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?
    • Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy.
    • Followed by this kiss
  • From the Homestuck wiki, the plot summaries for each episode of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff are quite a delight to behold. Lordy, I chortled for days.
  • Eridan and Feferi: Do something ridiculous. B<>NP
  • Spades Slick is not very good at giving sympathy.

There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.

Goddamn troll kids. Every time you turn around they're smoochin' each other. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.

CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.
CCG: GET TO THE POINT.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.
CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.

      • And then this happens:

CCG: HOLY HELL.
CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.
CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.
CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG]609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: NO YOU WON'T.
FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.
FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.

FCG closed memo.

EB: you mean platonic hate?

    • "HUMAN ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD."
    • "See you soon!"
    • Reexamining the video, John is wearing a spade shirt for most of it. Karkat develops/realizes Kismetic feelings as he watches. Now go to Terezi watching Dave....who has a heart shirt on.
  • R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN. Just... yeah. Terezi opens the memo to discuss the stupidity of Karkat's plan to troll the humans and it only gets better from there. Karkat from closer and closer in the past keeps on interrupting until he comes over and starts messing with Terezi's keypad. They ban and unban and reban each other until finally at the end:

FGC: 1 JUST THOUGHT 1 WOULD 4DD ON3 L4ST R3M4RK TO TH1S S1LL1N3SS
FGC: 4 R3M4RK OF R34SSUR4NC3!
CGC: OHH >:?
FGC: Y3S, YOU SHOULD TROLL TH3 HUM4NS
FGC: 1T W1LL B3 FUN >:]

EB: ok, i will be sure to let my guard down.
EB: psyche!!!!!!!!!
EB: oh damn, that was 9 !'s.
EB: !!!!!!!1
EB: shit!
EB: never mind.

Look at this mess.
Will you just LOOK at this slightly bigger mess than usual.

TT: that's me! i am the rose human. look at me, i am so smart with all these snooty words and complicated things to say.
TT: i am the queen of books.
TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof
TT: And Difficult To Engage With
TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To Be My Friend

AT: uHH, dON'T gET iN tHE rECUPERACOON, wHILE wEARING tHIS [sHIRT], sO yOU wON'T hAVE tO, uHH, cHANGE, [1]

    • Mine had some from Aradia:

AA: i'm 0k with this shirt. maybe y0u are t00. 0r n0t. i'm 0kay with either possibility

    • Mine was from Terezi:

GC:TH1S SH1RT SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS, BUT DONT COUNT ON 1T TO M4SK TH3 PUTR1D ST3NCH OF YOUR D3C31T FROM TH3 PROS3CUT1ON, H3H3H3H3H3 >:]

    • I ordered the God Tier!John one:
EB: well... i guess you probably can't do the windy thing, bit that's ok! you can be my trusty sidekick. i'll handle all the windy stuff.
—Actually it said the all windy stuff. which makes things even funnier in my book.
    • I got a Hero of Mind God Tier hoodie. My message was from Vriska:

Hahahaha. You think you have what it takes to wear this???????? Don't you know you have to 8e strong and 8rave to wear this and not 8e an em8arrassment to yourself????????

EB: excuse me, but spending just a little quality time with my man bill here is not a w8stey w8ste at all.
EB: no amount of 8's in words will make that true.

  • Don't forget to mention this token.

EB: I am the Wind Waker. It's me.

GC: >:o
GC: D4V3...
GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C
GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D
TG: yeah ok whatever you say
TG: fuckin aliens
GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T)

TG: i cant compete with this

  • This update. You have to laugh at how such a simple phrase, such as, "I will make them pay" (for telling a minor "sekret") is so unbelievably bone chillingly scary when coming from Vriska.
  • How did Vriska live without Nicolas Cage?
  • So a coolkid, an ectobiologist and a troll all join a memo...
    • What makes this one great? You can tell that finally, Karkat isn't just being crabby and running all caps just out of habit. No, for the larger portion of the memo, you can clearly picture him abso-fucking-lutely furious for so many reasons.
      • Dave's reaction right after Karkat's opening speech

CTG: ok later windbag
?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF
?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us
CTG: and thats saying something
?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST
(...)
CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with jade right now
CTG: no peeking k

    • Then you have Dave and John talking about how some of the Troll girls may like them

CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...
?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????
CTG: doesnt concern you dude

CTG: is that how it went down
?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS
?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)
CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you
?CG: FUCK OFF.
CTG: haha wow bingo

    • Because Dave is completely and totally correct.
  • Karkat's reaction to finding a bucket in Alterniabound. (It's in the room where you see Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.)
    • Speaking of which... Karkat's reaction to creating himself and the others.
      • Much of Alterniabound is hilarious, especially Tavros disregarding Equius' warnings about stairs and pretty much all of Karkat's conversations with the other trolls, particularly Nepeta, Equius, and Gamzee.
      • Equius needs his own mention.

Equius: D --> Is this where we embrace jocularly, as if we are "bros"

VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made?
KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN'T AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT.
VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are!
KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE...
VRISKA: They are........
VRISKA: IN
VRISKA: THE
VRISKA: FIIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!!! ::::)
KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

      • "You cannot be Future Aradia because in the future, Future Aradia has exploded!"
        • It's even better in hindsight when the explosion's cause is revealed... and turns out to be a good thing.
      • Gamzee's dancing.
  • The "meal" Nannaquin made for John, and his reaction.
  • TT: Consider this your first lesson in showmanship.

==>

AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m
AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!
AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!@#$%^&*()_+
AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?*rand(413^612)
AA: oh look and now i suddenly refuse to type zeroes in my sentences
AA: isnt that crazy! who thought that was even a possibility
AA: bslick never would have imagined THAT little vestibule of probability was tucked somewhere in his huge glistening blow sack
AA: ribbit ribbit ribbit
AA: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT
AA: I JUST CONTROLLED THE RIBBITS AND I DID IT DELIBERATELY

TG: im not that strong ok
TG: just cause i broke a cheap ass sword doesnt make me the fucking hulk
CT: D --> Oh
TG: what did you go around breaking a bunch of swords too
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> Bows
TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow
TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> Sometimes

TG: MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME
TG: naknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknak

TG: basically robots are in control now
TG: which is good news and bad news
TG: the bad news is theyre all pornbots and theyve got LOADS of provocative material theyre just dying to share with us
GG: whats the good news?
TG: thats also the good news

"How can shaving cream be so flammable?"
How indeed, brave heroes.
How indeed.

  • One of the salamander's reactions to getting 1000 boondollars from John for a "rumpled head object."

Salamander: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
Salamander: (faster) THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE MY NEW RUMPLED HEAD OBJECT, AND I LOVE YOU. (salamander is now fast it's practically seizing with glee)

    • Not to mention the haberdasher selling them—they're unsightly, too! The list includes: Rumpled Head Object, Even Rumplier Head Object, and lastly, The Rumpliest Head Object Of All.
  • Another one by Terezi and Dave:

GC: oops red is how i talk, my bad
GC: OH MY GOD...
GC: D4V3 TH1S 1S SO D3C4D3NT
GC: WHY D1DNT YOU 3V3R T3LL M3 HOW 4M4Z1NG 1T 1S TO TYP3 L1K3 TH1S
GC: 1 4LMOST C4NT H4NDL3 1T >:o
TG: ok stop that shit is probably like crack to you
TG: im not going to stand by and watch you fall prey to your own wild cherry apeshit apocalypse
GC: OK >:[

Karkat cannot be conveyed with a more detailed portrait yet. He is too angry, and is forced to look like shit. Maybe later if he can manage to calm down.

Come on buddy, turn that 0_0 into a 0u0!
wait
No that looks stupid.
Oh well.

CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.
CG: FUCK I MEAN
CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE

  • From [S] Wake, when Tavros confronts Vriska, she gives him the same thumbs-down Bro gave Dave. Tavros responds by holding up the severed head of one of his host plushes and making the neck-slashing gesture Dave made. Vriska responds by waving around his severed legs, making the same gesture at her waist.
    • The crazy look on her face was just priceless.
    • Bec Noir nonchalantly kicking Dream!Nepeta over was surprisingly slapstick-y for an otherwise depressing event. This troper blames the accompanying sound effect. DOOF.
      • Likewise when Vriska slaps Tavros. It's in the same art style as the ROBO-SLAP. Of course the funny stopped when she impaled him.
        • Bahahahahaha—awwwww....
  • Kanaya's conversation with Jade, particularly the last line.
  • We finally learn what Eridan's planet was, and more to the point that he spent most of the game genociding the angels which lived there. They may have been his consorts. Nobody would visit his world nor would he leave since nobody would take up killing duty in his place. Oh, and they're tough enough to take sustained fire from a legendary weapon. It's even funnier when Karkat tries to explain how he screwed up and Eridan doesn't get it.
  • The comic takes a sudden turn to the grimdark, but veers out again when we see Karkat's reaction to what just happened.
    • Especially funny because it's almost a meta joke - that's basically everyone's reaction.
  • In [S] Kanaya: return to core, the description when examining the dragonsuit[3] is one of the sweeter finds.
  • We interrupt the horrific current events to bring you the adventures of Terezi Pyrope, Ace Detective.

Adios, sweet Toreadoormat.

    • Six panels of her preparing to give him mouth-to-mouth so far and no contact yet. Thank you, Hussie. We needed this after the Gamzee thing.

This is not going to be pretty. But what are friends for if they
cant smooch each others butchered corpses when the need arises?

Those redneck jokes were so corny and stupid. You secretly suspected your father was mostly arrested by the man's mustache. Maybe he fantasized about shaving the man's Egregious furry lip? This seems like a reasonable theory to you.

NEPETA: :33 < D--> *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*
EQUIUS: D--> That's not how I talk.
(...)
EQUIUS: D--> *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*
EQUIUS: D--> *It commands it, do as it says*

TG: so aradia just so were clear
TG: this is like a hellbubble right
TG: its my eternal punishment to have shitty rapoffs with this tool forever is that it
AA: yes you figured out the mystery!
TG: i guess i had it coming for a flagrant lifetime spent being unbelievably fucking incredible at rap and just about practically everything else
TG: except not dying

    • Just before that:

AT: cERTAIN FEATURES OF YOUR PALE ANATOMY MAY SERVE AS THE MARSH MALLOW INGREDIENT, nEEDED FOR THE MOLTEN SNACK,
AT: i WILL PROVIDE THE FUDGE, }:D

TA: 0_0
TA: FUCK, i cann0t BELIEVE i just made that face.
AA: hahahahaha!
AA: hahahahaha!

AA: just as if you stay in one place for too long the geometry of space surrounding you will become unreliable
AA: you may swat the air to your left and discover you have just slapped yourself!

TA: man, being blind is dumb, can i like gr0pe y0u 0r s0mething t0 get up t0 date 0n y0ur appearance, w0uld that be weird?
AA: yes sollux that would probably be pretty weird

  • Doc Scratch attempting to be civil to Spades Slick. While Slick is clubbing his enormous white head with his trademark horse hitcher.

[You're not going to stop, are you. It will be very difficult to discuss our points of mutual interest like this. I was prepared to go about it in a civilized way, even though I knew very well I would spend the first several minutes of our meeting sitting on the floor while being flogged. I have even prepared a bowl of candy for you, which I know you will enjoy. Courtesy is important, Jack. Do you have anything at all to say? Any form of communication you care to attempt beyond the sound iron makes against my head repeatedly?
No, of course not.]

    • And let's not forget evidence that he really was synthesized from Lil' Cal.:

[Haa haa. Hee hee. Hoo hoo.]

[There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures. In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.]
TT: Oh my god.

TT: You're being creepy again.
[No I'm not. Besides, the White King agrees with me.]
TT: What?

TT: Friendship isn't an emotion, numbnuts.

  • When he crashes into the private conversation of Rose and Jade, it is as hilarious as it is creepy.

[Hello ladies.]

bro. SLOPPY M4K3OUTS. NOW. on the roof. H3H3H3 >:o]

EB: aradia?
CG: JUST ANOTHER DEAD TROLL, WHO CARES.
EB: :(
CG: STOP FROWNING, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE SHE DIED.
EB: ...
EB: :(

CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE.
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

    • and shortly after:

CG: LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING
CG: WE'VE ALL GOT FLAWS, EVEN HER
CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK.
CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF.
CG: WAIT
CG: FUCK
CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
EB: wow.
CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF.
CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.
EB: /raises eyebrows
CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE.
EB: ok, i am putting them back down as not suggestively as possible.
CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS.
EB: what is what this is?
CG: IT'S NOTHING, YOU SHIT. IT HAS BEEN THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTLING THROUGH OUR SNORT BARRELS WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER INAPPROPRIATELY.
EB: was...
EB: was that another weird erotic slip of the tongue?
CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEING WORKED UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FUCKING CONNIPTION AND SAYING SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NOT BE CLEAR BY NOW???

  • If music counts... the Nic Cage Song.
  • While the big multi-story flash from 07/02/11 is mostly Heartwarming Moments and tear jerkers, one segments stands out for being funny as balls: the Liv Tyler and Courtyard Droll Chase Hour! Guest featuring WV.
  • Dave and Rose's increasingly inaccurate sports metaphors in the 07/14/11 update.
    • Was anyone else hearing Tim and Eric's 'SPORTS!' song playing in their head as they read that?
  • Before all of the unpleasantness on the asteroid happened, Jade gave Karkat a mildly self-deprecating phrase to use as their chat password. Karkat...blows it a little out of proportion.

CG: LET'S SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER, IT WAS PRETTY ELABORATE IF I RECALL, OK HERE GOES.
CG: I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

  • Jade wapping Bec Noir upside the head with a newspaper.
  • Gamzee admitting to wanting to make out with Tavros. It comes almost entirely out of left field and Tavros is completely dumbfounded about it.
    • Gamzee referring to a light that makes him wince. If only he knew.
    • The rapping beforehand is also pretty hilarious.

AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES,

  • Despite being a gigantic Tear Jerker for Karkat, the 8/2/11 updates manage to be tragically absurd.

CG: I THINK I GAVE HIM CANCER.
CG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.
CG: SORRY.

Hussie in Alt Text: Ah-ha! Caught red-handed you bastard. You stop clogging up my story with your troll fanfiction this instaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

  • AH's monologue as he sneaks up on Scratch is pretty amusing as well.

My heartbeat falls in rhythm with the clock as I draw close to my prey. I leave nothing to chance, for you see it is the most dangerous prey of all, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders who wont shut up. Wait for it, Hussie. Wait for it...

Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style.

See? Even that little girl has had enough of your shit. Run, Aradia's ancestor! Run!!!! You have locked up your last asian schoolgirl, you sick fuck.

Oh don't you flop around at me like that. Are you listening little man?!

    • And sure enough, all that flopping around gave a couple of people an idea...
      • And then Hussie made that pic his Twitter feed background.
  • Shooooooooooooosh. *pap pap*
    • In the flash beforehand, everyone in the vicinity 'fills a quadrant' with Gamzee, but gets stopped by Karkat. Kanaya attempts to ashen-mediate between Karkat and Gamzee, Terezi tries to go caliginous for him, and Karkat is later revealed to be pale with Gamzee, which leaves Sollux as flushed. Instead, he has mixed flushed/caliginous feelings, and starts yelling at what he thinks is Gamzee... but is facing the wrong way, and is yelling at Li'l Cal instead. It's hilarious.
    • The shoosh/pap moment also manages to make this bit from a few updates back Hilarious in Hindsight as well:

CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.

"Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"

"Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always."

GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen
TG: * horbible
TG: * whore bible
TG: ^ bullseye

  • Speaking of bullseyes:
  • Meta example: go to the Betty Crocker Wikipedia page. Scroll down to 'in popular culture.' Suddenly realise how utterly absurd Homestuck truly is.
    • Saved due to it constantly being removed:

A fictionalized version, of the Betty Crocker character, is a supporting character in the webcomic Homestuck, wherein she is sometimes referred to as the "Batter Witch". This portrayal is married to a fictionalized version of Mark Twain in the early 20th century. It is strongly implied that she's a malevolent, nigh-immortal alien from another universe, and is using her corporate empire to control the population, and to bring about the ruin of this universe.

TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.
GG: Oh yes?
GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?
TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.
TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.
TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.
TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.
TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.
TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.
TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.
TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.
TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.
TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.
TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.
TT: Yeah.

ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long.
KARKAT: OH
ROSE: It'll only take about three years.
KARKAT: OK
KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS.
KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN?
KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?
ROSE: Yes, two.
ROSE: And then fifty more.
KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

  • Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of this conversation.

ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it?
DAVE: yeah
ROSE: Hmm.
DAVE: what
ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.
ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.
ROSE: You bastard.

    • This troper busted out laughing and doubled over at that line.
    • And immediately before that:

KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON
KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL
KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
DAVE: not really
DAVE: oh wait
DAVE: against all odds i sorta do

  • The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.

TEREZI: 1 4M SO SORRY YOU GUYS
TEREZI: W3 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4 LOT COOL3R TH4N TH1S!
DAVE: are you actually
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: NO
TEREZI: NO W3 AR3 NOT

SQUAREWAVE: DAMN DOGG WHY AS A ROBOT I GOT TO BE SO PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID LIKE THIS. IT AIN'T COOL!!!

  • Dirk and the Autoresponder working together.

GG: Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?
TT: Yes.
TT: No.
GG: ...

  • The truth about uranianUmbra:

TT: What I'm asking is, have you ever written stories about us?
UU: .....
UU: yes. u_u

  • Roxy recommends that Jane loosen up:

TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass

    • also

TG: jane i am afraid
TG: that ur bottom
TG: is a stubborn clam
TG: guarding priceless treasure
TG: and a deadly secret

KANAYA: No
KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly
KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
KANAYA: Just
KANAYA: Fuck That Guy

DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it

  • To paraphrase...

Karkat: Dave, read this trashy troll romance novel. It will fix everything.
Dave: No. Hell no.
Rose: *yoink*

    • It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
      • It gets even funnier when you think about it: Karkat doesn't even really react or yell at her for it other than just stare at her. That means he's used to it because SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE.
  • This update to this update. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.

KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!
DAVE: no
KARKAT: WHAT??
DAVE: were still drawing
KARKAT: LET GO

    • You cannot beat Strider in a counter-troll-off. HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS!
    • This is eventually followed by Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about their desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
    • Karkat getting wrapped in Dave's cape, forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
  • John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:

JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
JADE: aww
JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.

Hussie: You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.

Hussie: How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...
Hussie: WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.

TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.
GG: Oh yeah?
TT: It's like he is the Incredible Hulk's pants, and I am his monstrous package yearning to bust loose.
GG: Blehhhh, why??
TT: Jane.
TT: It seems there is a way bigger than average probability that you do not want to discuss Bruce Banner's megalithic gamma schlong.

GT: Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine???
:TT: ...
:TT: He said unironically.

@andrewhussie: a line i seriously just wrote in reality: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."

  • Another gem between Dirk and Jake:

TT: Either you get your shit together and put the moves on this dead space vixen or I start fucking with your cortex and make you pop a dream boner.
GT: NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A BONER DIRK!!!
TT: Sorry Jake. The plan's in motion.
TT: Next stop, Boner City.
GT: SO THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG???
GT: TO GIVE ME A BONER???
TT: And you
TT: ...
TT: ...
TT: ...
TT: ...
TT: Got one.
GT: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

  • The entire conversation between Dirk and Jake is made more hilarious with the reveal that "Dirk" is just a figment dreamed up by Jake. Jake is having an argument with himself. And losing. Badly.
    • Not to mention that it seems he's having said argument in front of Aranea.
  • Jack: Start Jailbreak Adventure. Complete with Lampshade Hanging and Self-Deprecation all over the place.
    • CD's attempt at sending Jack help along with the message, "You're welcome." With a picture of him winking.
    • The Running Gag of Jack killing the guards making his own escape harder.

That is not how you convince someone to do something. You're supposed to save the stabbing until AFTER you intimidate him into doing what you want! How exactly is a dead guy supposed to pick up some keys for you?!

uu: IT'S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE.
uu: HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD.
TT: (link).

DAVE: (rose whos the john looking kid)
ROSE: (I think it's young Father-Grandad Harleybert.)
DAVE: (what)

MEENAH: that guy!
MEENAH: nubbyshouts
MEENAH: that guy is cool!!
KARKAT: THANKS, WHOEVER THE FUCK!!!
KARKAT: BYE.

  • _(^q^)_
    • Throughout the conversation, her various creative snoring sounds

zzzzzznort,,..
*SNOAR*
lol snork ;D

Meenah: now were ghosts the end

  • Aranea is utterly enraged by the above event, and sarcastically gives Better Than It Sounds summaries of the lives of all the A2 Ancestors. Ampora and Makara's really stand out though:

ARANEA: Ampora was a pirate. No8ody liked him. He killed a lot of people, 8ut was later executed 8ecause he was una8le to tell a funny joke. What else needs to 8e said? That's right. Nothing.
ARANEA: Makara was the guy who didn't like his joke. He was terri8le and so is his story. Period.


Meta & Fan Content

kyouger: stop

Hussie's Twitter feed: well that didn't work

    • To give an idea as to exactly what "soon" means in this context, using time codes on forum posts, this Troper figured out that Newgrounds went down in about 3 minutes. From EoA5 posting to Newgrounds' demise.

jephjacques @andrewhussie the internet is going to explode when you hit 100%, you fucker
andrewhussie @jephjacques i'm going to be walking away from it in slow motion smoking a cigarette

andrewhussie: Guys, I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that Dante Basco, aka Rufio from Hook, is currently reading Homestuck.
andrewhussie: I wonder what he will think when he discovers me kissing his corpse?
andrewhussie: Assuming he makes it that far. Do Hollywood superstars even have that kind of time??
andrewhussie: I have to make sure I don't scare him off or anything. Do NOT fuck this up Hussie. Pull it together. There is a lot riding on this.

andrewhussie: And just like that, I have already gone too far. [1]

    • Hell, Dante's liveblog alone is filled with crowning moments of funny as he reminds us all of precisely how confusing the first few acts are, which combined with the undoubtedly strange feeling of thousands of people egging you on and encouraging you leaves him hilarious nonplussed about the entire thing.

And yes, I saw the “Hello Dante”… I greeted him on twitter… I have to admit, that’s pretty dope. I wonder if he makes this first part so hard to get as an obstacle for those not worthy to get the story… a somewhat right (sic) of passage… maybe I’m just rambling and have no idea what I’m talking about… Back to reading.

  • While we're looking at Tumblr, you should also check out What the Fuck is Homestuck, where one girl chronicles her reactions right throughout the entirety of the comic, only catching up early into Act 6. She loves using a copious amount of gifs from all sorts of sources, especially when she overexcited.
    • It's especially funny from the perspective of one who's read the comic: right from meeting him, she hates Gamzee, which just makes her reaction to his freakout in Act 5 Act 2 a hilarious Foregone Conclusion.
    • Not to mention her reaction to finding out her starsign is Capricorn, as well.

WtFiH: Correct! My star sign is Capricorn! However, Gamzee is- what- wait... oh, oh FUCK ME.

SIARH: [...] Sagittarius
SIARH: …wait
SIARH: FUCK

  • Good lard... Jegus
  • Meta example here: this video seem innocent enough to the casual viewer, but for any Homestuck fan...
  • Another meta example: this article about the Juggalos had someone comment in character as Gamzee (find it near the top of the third page of comments). Then, Karkat showed up. Then Nepeta joined in on the commenting, followed by Kanaya.
  • Andrew Hussie's personality in general; you may bear witness to his humour on formspring or other social networking sites.

> Go back

  1. [sic]
  2. To see the sequence, examine the flagpole in the village.
  3. \The red thing next to the teleporter
  4. most likely her sylladex
  5. with Equius's shades
  6. "This is stupid."