Monday Night Combat/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


The Pros

The Assault

More or less, the quarterback and go-to guy for the teams of everyone's favorite futuristic Blood Sport. The Assault is arguably the the most iconic Pro due to his introduction to players often being the first via the game's tutorial and the fact that he is quite possibly the most versatile Pro. His role in matches is to do...just about anything, though he is somewhat inefficient in Blitz mode.

Primary: assault rifle[1]
Secondary: Grenade Launcher
Skill 1: Bomb: Area of denial and foe-launching explosive. Upgrades increase power and blast radius.
Skill 2: Fly (though it's really hovering)
Skill 3: Charge: Upgrades increase damage.[2]
Passive Skill: Critical Hit upgrade, level 2 increases jump height.
Spawned Bots: Buzzer x3


The Tank

His gentle demeanor betrays his fierce abilities and combat style. He's The Big Guy, he exists to absorb a lot of damage and dish it out in his slow journey to the enemy moneyball. Completely oblivious to the fact that Pitgirl thinks he's cute, which probably doesn't help his insecurity. His role in matches is to be something of an Implacable Man; take a heavy beating while always being able to unleash a wide variety of effective attacks. His comparably quick reload and skill recovery mean he usually has several options to deal with any threat.

Primary: Jet Gun: A literal jet engine, more or less a flamethrower[3]

Secondary: Rail Gun: Has pinpoint precision and excellent power at range, but is incapable of headshots.

Skill 1: Product grenade: A grenade that can be thrown at almost any time, detonates on impact with an enemy target. [4]

Skill 2: Deploy. Become a 180 degree turret, but gain increased defense. [5]

Skill 3: Jet Charge: Charge forward to injure and knock down enemies.[6]

Passive Skill: Level 2 increases defense and health recovery rate, level 3 further increases defense to near Stone Wall levels. Full upgrade and armor endorsement allows him to survive a headshot.

Spawned Bots: Bouncer x1

  • Beard of Sorrow
  • Boisterous Bruiser
  • Bottomless Magazines: Using his Deploy skill after upgrading it to level 3 gives him this.
    • As opposed to normal play where the Tank is just like every Pro out there and goes through the inconvenience of needing to reload his weapons.
  • Death Blossom: His deals moderate damage to enemy Pros and turrets, but it's extremely effective against bots and thusly makes him quite useful in Blitz mode.
  • Elite Tweak: Mastering the proper usage of his jet gun, death blossom, rail gun, grapple, product grenade, charge, and deploy makes the Tank an extremely powerful foe. This requires a pretty diverse range of skills.
  • Foe-Tossing Charge: Jet Charge skill.
  • Fire-Breathing Weapon / Playing with Fire: His primary weapon is a jet engine and his jet pack is a shorter range, blind-rear-firing version of it when enemies come into contact with it.
  • Interface Screw: Upgraded Product Grenades assault their victims with sponsor ads that blind them, even including loud voiceovers by Mickey Cantor that make most other in-game events inaudible.
  • Jet Pack: Unlike the Assault's version, the Tank's thrusters allow him limited upwards movement and double as a rear-firing flamethrower.
  • Mighty Glacier: He leans towards being a Stone Wall, but his offense is still nasty.
  • Oblivious to Love: Somehow misses that Pitgirl has a crush on him, in spite of her dialogue to him often being flirtatious. And he's said on the website to be rather sad about his inability to attract women.
  • One-Hit Polykill: His rail gun can pierce an infinite number of enemies.
  • Pinball Projectile: The Product Grenade bounces off walls with zero loss of of momentum.
  • Punched Across the Room: His grapples have a tendency to cause Ring Outs if used on open ground if they don't kill the target right off.
  • Recursive Ammo: Level 3 Product Grenade splits into four frag grenades after hitting an enemy target or the fuse expiring.
  • Sniper Rifle: The rail gun is a milder example, though it is capable of multikills against bots.
  • Standard Status Effects: Product Grenade Stuns and Blinds
  • Stealth Pun: The back of his armor flares out like a beetle shell whenever he uses his Jetpack. He's a firebug.
  • The Turret Master: An uncommon variant, his Deploy skill turns him into a turrent.
  • Video Game Flamethrowers Suck: An interesting case. The jet gun isn't an actual flamethrower, ignites enemies, has a reasonable range, and massive damage dropoff. However, using it at point-blank range results in heavy damage regardless of target type.


The Support

A friendly Italian clone, the Support is comparably weak on offense himself (most especially without a firebase), but his support abilities can make any team's battle go that much more smoothly. This isn't to say though that he isn't dangerous, not by any means. His role on the team is, well...Support. His offensive abilities are limited, but he's great to have for an offensive push in Crossfire and vital to success in Blitz mode.

Primary: Heal/Hurt Gun: Exactly What It Says on the Tin. [7]
Secondary: Shotgun

Skill 1: Hack. Increases offensive abilities of friendly turrets, level 3 allows him to hack an enemy turret and cause it to switch teams.[8]

Skill 2: Firebase: Deployable gun turret.[9]

Skill 3: Airstrike Beacon: Thrown projectile that calls a missile strike from directly above whatever it lands on. [10]

Passive Skill: Level 2 increases health recovery rate and adds a bot-strengthening aura, level 3 increases defense.

Spawned Bots: Gapshot x1

Support: "Oh! I have an axe to the grindstone now!"

  • Combat Medic: Much like another combat medic, he can also overheal anything that's friendly.
  • Death From Above: Airstrike beacons, which call a powerful missile onto whatever they land on.
  • The Engineer: Overlaps with his combat medic status as his healing shiv works on friendly turrets as well.
  • Expy: Admit it. You've been waiting for him to say "mama mia", "I told you not to touch that darn thing," and "zat vas doctor-assisted homicide" since you first played as him!
  • Gratuitous Italian: Grazi!
  • Healing Shiv: Heal/Hurt Gun.
  • Hollywood Hacking: Justified in that it's part of the sport.
  • Ryu and Ken: The Ryu to Combat Girl's Ken with more a powerful turret and heal/hurt gun but less turrets/beams.
  • Sentry Gun / The Turret Master: The Firebase skill.
  • Short-Range Shotgun: Secondary weapon, exaggerated as shots vanish harmlessly into the air just a few meters from the barrel.
  • Status Buff: He can overheal any friendly target (other than Jackbots) to 150% health and with an upgraded passive skill any bots (yet again: except Jackbots) near him are 50% stronger.
  • Sticky Bomb: Airstrike beacons stick to whatever they hit.
  • Useless Useful Spell: Hacking an enemy turret. It was outright overpowered when the game was initially released, but the nerfing of it makes it near-impossible to pull off. Chances are that if the situation presents itself to you, your teammates are going to bust the enemy's moneyball before you can complete the process: assuming your allied pros or bots don't destroy the turret first! Under most circumstances, the turret or other nearby foes will kill you before you can complete the hack.
    • This is probably why it was removed in Super Monday Night Combat -- the Support actually has a new taunt where he tries to hack into a turret but finds he no longer has the equipment for it.


The Assassin

The enigmatic, stealthy, blindingly fast, and very untalkative pro who is a ninja for all intents and purposes.Her primary roles are clearing out bots and hitting hazards before anyone else can: making her very effective in Blitz mode. While she can assassinate pros, she's usually outmatched on an even playing field so it's generally unwise to go after any pro that isn't especially vulnerable. Notable in her ability to grapple Jackbots, though slashing them is generally a wiser idea unless they need to be paralyzed.

Primary: Dagger / Sword[11]
Secondary: Shuriken Launcher: Has little damage dropoff, the shurikens themselves have travel time.
Skill 1: Dash: Upgrades increase speed and decrease how fast the meter depletes.
Skill 2: Cloak: Upgrades decrease time before cloaking, effectiveness, depletion, and level 3 allows regeneration while not moving.
Skill 3: Smokebomb: Blinds pros briefly, stuns bots/turrets. Upgrades increases radius and recovery rate.
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases shuriken launcher clip size and decreases fall damage, level 3 eliminates fall damage completely and replaces the dagger with a sword.
Special: Reload button triggers a lunge attack with the dagger or sword equipped.
Spawned Bots: Gremlin x4

  • Action Girl
  • Back Stab: Her dagger/sword grapple deals much more damage from behind a pro.
  • Blood Knight: Her bio states that as much as she hates just about everything else about her job, she really likes killing people.
  • Cool Mask
  • Deflector Shields: An odd case, she takes only a tiny fraction of normal damage while in her smokebomb animation. It can even cancel out a charge from an Assault or Tank.
  • The Faceless: Played with, especially in the Spunky Cola trailer. She removes her mask to chug a can of Spunky, but just so happens to be facing away from the camera.
  • Flechette Storm: Her shuriken launcher, especially with rate of fire endorsement.
  • Fragile Speedster
    • Glass Cannon: Her grapples HURT, and she's one of the only two characters that can grapple Jackbots. However, her armor is minimal.
  • Hey, It's That Voice! She has the exact same voice as Pitgirl.
  • In a Single Bound: She can leap to a good seven meters in the air if she jumps immediately after using her smokebomb.
  • Invisibility Cloak: One of her skills.
  • Jiggle Physics: Subverted. The Assassin is at least a D-cup yet clearly wears appropriate undergarments so the only jiggling seen with her is her ponytail.

The Assault, after killing an Assassin: "Hold on, the Assassin is a chick? How did I miss that?"

  • Katanas Are Just Better: It's probably a tachi, but details...
  • Knife Nut: Her starting primary weapon is a dagger, seemingly a kunai.
  • Ninja: Fulfills just about every expectation the word would imply.
  • Pinball Projectile: Shurikens bounce until they leave the arena or hit an enemy target.
  • The Speechless / The Voiceless: MNC's scientists aren't certain whether the Assassin can talk (though her SMNC bio confirms she's silent by choice), but she can be heard giving the occasional giggle or grunt.
  • Smoke Out: Her smokebomb skill.
  • Sword Drag: During her lunge attack.
  • Visible, Noisy Cloak: The cloak is always audible to allies and enemies alike, the invisibility effect is weaker while moving faster. Dashing while cloaked adds very distinct steps that really give it away, avoid doing so. ShaveIce turrets disrupt the cloak tremendously.


The Gunner

A calm, almost timid Hawaiian clone, the Gunner usually allows his weapons to speak volumes for him. But he'll still let out the occasional snark comment like the other pros. Gameplay-wise, the Gunner fills an odd collection of niches in that he's extremely effective against enemy Pros with his minigun(s) but lacks efficient short-range methods to clear bots.

Primary: Minigun: Deals peerless damage to Pros.[12]

Secondary: Mortar: Arced explosive weapon which is fairly effective against bots and pros and absolutely annihilates turrets, but is both dangerous and difficult to use at short distances.

Skill 1: Slam: Deals damage and stuns anything in its shockwave range.[13]

Skill 2: Deploy: Has the same base functions as the Tank's version. [14]

Skill 3: Grapple: An upgradable grapple that is independent of the grapple associated with the mortar.

Passive Skill: Level 2 causes mortar rounds to split in two, level 3 increases the split to three and turns the minigun into a dual minigun.

Spawned Bots: Bouncer x1


The Sniper

Certainly not professional but definitely skilled, the Sniper...snipes. Extremely arrogant, he believes himself to be the most important member of the team and won't hesitate to make absolutely certain that everyone knows it. Gameplay-wise his abilities unfortunately promote camping even more so than other snipers in other games. That are more professional. Peculiarly, both of the Sniper's grapples can be used against Jackbots and each deal exactly 50% damage to them in Crossfire.

Primary: Sniper Rifle: Very inaccurate without using the scope, pixel perfect accuracy when scoped even for a split-second via altfire.[15]

Secondary: SMG: For all intents and purposes, an inferior version of the Assault's primary.

Skill 1: Flak: An Area of Effect grenade that is effective at suppression, building juice, and holding a moneyball down. [16]

Skill 2: Traps: Deals no damage, but significantly slows pros and bots in its radius. [17]

Skill 3: Grapple: Very similar to the Gunner's grapple skill, but usable on Jackbots.[18]

Passive Skill: Sniper rifle upgrade.[19]

Spawned Bots: Scrambler x2

  • Catch Phrase: HECK YEAH!
  • Fragile Speedster: Oddly enough, he shares the same base speed and health as the Assassin.
    • However, he lacks a mobility ability (such as charge, fly, or jumpjets), meaning that he is generally considered either the third or even forth most mobile.
  • Gangsta Style: How he fires his SMG, probably to absorb the recoil
  • Glass Cannon: The lowest health in SMNC, but insane damage potential.
  • Human Popsicle: Traps cause this if the skill has been upgraded.
  • Insufferable Genius
  • Jerkass: It's hard to find a quote from him where he isn't being a total douche.
  • Land Mine Goes Click: His Traps.
  • Most Wonderful Sound: DING! Headshot!
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Somewhat; he looks like a scrawny Jean Reno, and his stocking cap specifically brings to mind Léon: The Professional
  • One-Hit Kill: In MNC, headshots were usually this against pros. SMNC nerfed this dramatically -- now both pros and bots take many headshots to put away.
  • One-Hit Polykill: His rifle rounds have infinite piercing ability once his passive skill is upgraded to level 2, but obviously not through parts of terrain.
  • Pretty Little Headshots: There is no blood in the game at all, so headshots have a very satisfying DING sound instead of a visual payoff.
  • The Scrappy: In-universe; he's the only player in league history to receive 0 fan votes for an all-star game, and his restaurant was so unpopular it closed after three days in business.
  • Sniper Rifle
  • The Sniper
  • Splash Damage Abuse: Explosive, multiple target-penetrating sniper rounds that explode again on every enemy target they strike? Pretty abusive.
  • Stop Having Fun Guy: At least someone else on this team is doing their job!
  • This Loser Is You: The Sniper is a grating, egotistical wimp. He was cloned primarily from the DNA of professional gamers. You do the math.
  • Unflinching Walk: Averted in his action hero taunt. When the slow-mo explosion occurs, he stifles forward and drops his gun.

Combatgirl

See the Pitgirl down there? Read that, then come back. The Combatgirl is a Pitgirl put on the field of play with her own assortment of weapons and gadgets. She occupies a role similar to the Support, but is generally better suited to miltitasking

Combatgirl: Hah! And they said I had AD... Hey, is that a beachball on the field?

Gunslinger

Clone of a famous western girl with a rifle and a pair of pistols known respectively as the "Love Gun" and "Hate Gun." Unlike the sniper, she doesn't have a scope, but gains a damage bonus with every headshot she lands on an enemy. Also capable of kneecapping nearby enemy pros to slow them down, or clearing the path in front of her with a rapid-firing technique.

Veteran

A clone of pro wrestling legend Victor "The Veteran" Lisowski, the Veteran is a mountainous man with insane physical might and a strange animal magnetism about him. Famed for his mic skills, his boasts and threats being considered psychological warfare, he's an intense competitor who really knows how to get inside the other team's collective head. From a gameplay perspective, his abilities revolve around getting close to the enemy (or getting the enemy close to him) so he can perform a punishing grapple attack.

  • Acrofatic: Although he uses his jetpack for jumping, he's extremely quick for someone his size and like everyone with a melee weapon is capable of a speedy forward roll
  • Animal Motifs: Eagles.
  • Fan Disservice: He has his own version of the Combatgirl's "Hi, Boys" taunt. The stated intention of this was to make players throw up in their mouths a little.
  • Fat Bastard: Though this may just be his ring persona
  • Foe-Tossing Charge: Freight Train skill, almost literally
  • Improbable Weapon User: His melee weapon is "The Hot Seat", a stool covered in spikes. It's probably supposed to represent the ultimate evolution of pro wrestling's staple foreign object -- the folding chair
  • Jet Pack: Essentially the same as the Tank's and Gunner's
  • Mighty Glacier
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Between his build, his mask, and his mic skills, he's basically Vader.
  • Trash Talk
  • Shoulders of Doom: His left shoulderpad is absolutely massive
  • Stout Strength: Even heftier than the Gunner and the Tank, and much more physically oriented.
  • Wrestler in All of Us

Captain Spark

Famous racecar driver by day, electric-powered, eel-trained superhero by night. Captain Spark is similar to the Assassin except he can teleport in a flash of light instead of jumping out of a cloud of smoke.

Karl

The only survivor of 12 reconnaissance cyborgs sent to infiltrate the lawless Outlander society, Karl is unwavering in his conviction that he is 100% human -- despite being to all appearances 100% robot. Being designed by the elite overclass who don't really get out all that much means he has the mannerisms of a Connecticut old money sophisticate. Virulently hateful of robots. Despite all this, the producers of SMNC bought him at a tent sale.

Karl: Could anyone go for a disc-shaped segment of bread with tomato sauce, cheese, and other various toppings?
Karl: Ugh. I am in definite need of a liquid comprised of the fermentation of starches after this!

Sir Cheston Whyndam Kampanga

A clone of a famous gorilla actor who starred in everything from local theater productions to the televised "Meet the Meatsacks." Cheston wears a fancy suit and carries a large tommy gun with him into battle, yet has special techniques that force him to unleash his baser instincts, like slamming the ground repeatedly, dropping bananas or throwing flaming barrels at opponents.

Cheston: "I would rather die a thousand honorable deaths than to win by cheating...much."

Cheston: "In a world of such iniquity...how can dying be anything...but a source of gain."

  • High-Class Glass
  • Large Ham: Being a high-class actor, Cheston is one to speak with a certain eloquence and grace, use a lot of long pauses, and even break into opera.

Cheston: (Activating Juice) "Feel the full measure...of my WRATH!"

Cheston: "Good lord...the Pit Girl's hind quarters are as smooth as an eel!"

Cheston: "Hold you fire, everyone! My assistant will be on the field soon, with my low-fat zucchini muffin."
Cheston: "I don't mean to be intolerable, but...I believe my contract specifies an indoor temperature of 23 degrees Celsius."

Wascot

Once upon a time, there was an obsessive Monday Night Combat fan named Frank Deerford who watched every single match that he possibly could and had multiple posters of Bullseye and other MNC characters adorning his room. He always dialed up a MNC live call-in radio show hosted by Mickey Cantor and Bullseye and prayed for the one day when he could talk to them. Then one fateful birthday, he managed to get through for a few brief seconds before Bullseye cut him off and laughed at him over the air. The next day, Frank's psyche snapped as he tore off all the posters of Bullseye from his room, stitched together a fake Bullseye costume, and entered into the Super MNC contest with a personal mission to kill every Bullseye that appeared.

The Wascot has a gun that fires exploding fake coins and poisoned bacon at his opponents, but also has abilities that can debuff nearby opponents.

Megabeth

The greatest champion in the history of Indo-China's Most Pleasing and Melodious Crushing of Windpipes Like Reeds Underfoot in a Soft, Snowy Riverbank Federation, Megabeth is a roller derby themed pro equipped with a rocket launcher who signed on to Monday Night Combat after an interleague friendly in which she killed the Assault, the Assassin, the Veteran, the Sniper, and the Gunslinger without being killed once. In her spare time, she's the lead singer of feminist tribal-acid grindcore band Hacksaw Circumcision.

Megabeth: Art is a thing that is dead presently.

Leo

A direct clone of Leonardo da Vinci, Leo was brought to life by the Hyphus Group, a clandestine organization of powerful individuals working to better society. Though it was hoped that his brilliant mind would provide invaluable scientific and artistic insight on the modern world, Leo instead became a reclusive couch potato, glued to his television for days on end -- and growing particularly fascinated with Monday Night Combat. He broke from this haze only to draw up designs for the armor, weapons, and strategies that would make him the next pro superstar of the world's greatest spectacle.

  • Action Bomb: The Adoration of the AI ability turns enemy bots into these
  • Badass Bookworm
  • Badass Grandpa: He's wrinkled and balding, with grayish white hair and a voice like a mummy with throat cancer. He also has a giant crossbow the size of his entire upper body and a laser mounted on his wrist.
  • BFG: His Balestra, the aforementioned crossbow, can be considered one
  • Combat Medic: Moreso than the Support or the Combatgirl, because his healing is powered by dealing damage with his primary weapon
  • Cool Board: His "ball-board", a strange mix between a skateboard and a Segway. It's a basketball-sized sphere with a grooved board balanced on top of it. Leo actually does a number of skateboard tricks on it in his taunts and grapple.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: According to his bio, he has applied for 2,307 patents since being cloned, and both designed and built all of his combat gear.
  • Hikkikomori
  • I Know Madden Kombat: In his grapple, Leo kicks his board-ball at his opponent and headbutts it into their gut as if it were a soccer ball. He claims to have invented a number of high-level soccer tricks.
  • Insufferable Genius: Leo never stops talking about his intelligence and achievements, and most of the time he directly addresses enemy or allied pros, it's with open condescension and disdain.
  • The Minion Master: After a fashion, with two abilities respectively based on buffing bots and turning enemy bots into allies. Leo players tend to get more kills with spawned, buffed, or turned bots than otherwise.
  • Not Quite Flight: His wings allow him to glide
  • Shout-Out: His bio includes among his "likes" secret societies and word scrambles.
    • He also hints at a vendetta against "that hack Dan Brown."
  • Spread Shot: The Balestra fires three bolts, giving Leo some much-needed crowd control power outside the bot lanes -- not to mention a great panic weapon for when he's cornered.

The Staff

Pit Girl

The chipper, buxom, tech savvy cheerleader of Monday Night Combat. Pitgirl doesn't take a direct involvement in matches, but rather encourages her team's members and informs them of important things like the condition of the moneyball...And how much she likes any turret or bot you buy. No one can say why, but Pitgirl has quite a bit of spite for the Assassin.

Mickey Cantor

The veteran announcer for the sport, Mickey Cantor makes a living being MNC's John Madden. Except everyone hates him to the point of having had several attempts on his life: two of which were successful.

  • Announcer Chatter - Mickey talks about the combat going on in the arena, even if it doesn't relate to the player. He'll also alert players to Bullseye's appearances and when the Annihilator's available, and badger the player to upgrade their skills.
  • Large Ham Announcer: Mickey Cantor and his wide range of lines: from advertising to personal comments to snarky remarks about a Pro's demise, and so on.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall - Mickey has an administrator account on the official MNC forums, where he chips in occasionally.
  • Catch Phrase - Hi-Ho!
  • Combat Commentator
  • Glad I Thought of It: Occasionally claims kills from pros to be copyright Mickey Cantor Enterprises immediately after praising the kill.
  • Put on a Bus: Due to Mickey's voice actor not being able to voice him again for contract reasons, it's stated that Mickey "escaped" and now he's replaced with two new announcers for Super Monday Night Combat.
  • Unusual Euphemism - Fond of shouting "What the what?" Any swears he does make are censor beeped.
  • Your Mom - Played with in one of his lines, where he claims your mom called in and said to upgrade your skills, then states that no, really, she did.

GG Stack

One of the two announcers in Super Monday Night Combat. GG Stack is a dry, mild-mannered play-by-play announcer who likes to remind the audience of the rules of play -- and note that they change often.

  • Ascended Meme: GG describing Assassin's respawns as "Like a magic fart" is based on a meme from Super MNC's early days during the Invitational, where fans would describe her new Leap ability (Which leaves a large cloud of smoke in the place she leaps from) as "The Magic Fart."
  • Catch Phrase: "The rules have changed!"
  • Combat Commentator: As with Mickey, he and Chip are among the most literal expressions of the trope
  • Straight Man

Chip Valvano

The other half of the announcing duo in SMNC. Chip is a legendary former competitor, and as such has firsthand experience with almost every element of the game. He's a fun-loving guy, but not a very intelligent one.

  • Captain Obvious: When he really has no idea what to say, he'll state the most obvious facts of the matter and leave it at that.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Sometimes he dramatically misunderstands what GG is asking him about -- a question about avoiding banana peels yields an answer about staying out of South America and being wary in the produce section.
  • Large Ham:

Chip:The rules...have changed. The RULES, have changed! THE RULES, HAVE-- oh what? Sorry.
GG: I like your passion, Chip.

  • Mr. Exposition: Many of his lines feature him explaining facets of the game for the benefit of new players, such as explaining the significance of the Annihilator.
  • Retired Badass

Bullseye

The official Monday Night Combat mascot, Bullseye lives up to his name. His role is to walk out into the middle of the arena and get shot. This is actually reasonable, as he's invincible. Oh, and besides being an annoying mascot shooting him gives you money, juice, and a chance for BACON!! Just be sure the enemy team isn't busy in your base...

Mickey Cantor - Oh look everybody, it's Bullseye, the Monday Night Combat mascot! Kill him. KILL HIM NOW!

  • Fan Disservice - The "American Bacon" picture from the Halloween Unmasking Finale blog post. Ugggh.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: His purpose is to be shot and he's invincible.
  • Mascot
  • Promoted Fanboy: Bullseye is performed by a randomly-selected person who enters a weekly contest...To be shot at by professional killers.
    • They are rewarded with six ounces of REAL CHEESE if they survive.
    • Consider Cantor's line about "Government issue food tubes" and the whole dystopian future setting of the game. Real cheese is probably a REALLY good reward.
    • Besides, a former Bullseye makes it clear that being so near the clones is reward enough: "I'd give my left arm to be Bullseye again, but then, I'd be armless."
  • The Scrappy - A parody thereof. Why else would you be shooting him?
    • Mickey Cantor even encourages people in the audience to use their own sniper rifles to shoot him. GG and Chip seem to hate him a lot less, but still emphasize that he should be taken out ASAP.

Chickey Cantor

A giant, genetically engineered chicken who walks around the stage and can be attacked for certain benefits. By reducing its health to zero, she flies away and lays a golden egg that grants a stat boost to the entire team that drove it away. It occasionally slams the ground with enough force to stun players, but also stuns itself. This is when players can grapple it and ride it, generating money.

Juice Bot

Also known as the Fruit Fucker from Penny Arcade, Juice Bot will occasionally take the place of Bullseye on the battlefield.

  • Adaptation Name Change: Had his name changed to Juice Bot from Fruit Fucker in order to keep the game's T rating. However, Fruit Fucker may still be his real name, as a few bits of dialogue by Bullseye hint at his name being changed.
  • The Cameo: A character carried over from Penny Arcade.
  • Leitmotif: And a catchy one at that.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Poses no threat on his own, but trying to grab him will lead to him knocking you away.
  1. ↑ Altfire: Slow down and AIM.
  2. ↑ Adds a Shoryuken grapple at level 3.
  3. ↑ Altfire is Death Blossom: More powerful with a higher percentage of ammo remaining, cannot be used while deployed, tends to One-Hit Kill bots.
  4. ↑ Level 1 deals minor damage, level 2 adds blindness/deafness via sponsor ads, level 3 adds four secondary grenades upon impact or the fuse expiring. Careful! You can hurt and even blind yourself with it!
  5. ↑ Level 2 notably increases defense while deployed, level 3 adds Bottomless Magazines for both weapons.
  6. ↑ Upgrade to increase damage, decrease recharge time, and add knockback on level 3.
  7. ↑ Important note: it works on ALL friendly targets and all friendly targets but Jackbots can be overhealed. Requires a gold rate of fire endorsement to be particularly effective.
  8. ↑ Upgrades decrease time required to hack.
  9. ↑ Level 2 increases firepower, level 3 adds healing for all nearby friendly Pros. Can be hacked, requires time to deploy.
  10. ↑ Upgrades increase damage, blast radius, and allow it to be used with less and less of it's meter recharged. Usually a One-Hit Kill to any Pro in it's radius, bridges tend to block it. It is a thrown projectile and will stick to Pros or Bots if the beacon hits them.
  11. ↑ Altfire is a grapple, sharing cooldown with the shuriken launcher grapple but dealing greater damage. Use from behind a Pro to deal even more damage.
  12. ↑ Requires time to spin up before reaching full rate of fire, suffers from lengthy reload time, and has a speed penalty for use unless you're in the air. Becomes a dual minigun with full upgrades. Altfire pre-spins the gun, much like a certain large Russian does with his own beloved gun.
  13. ↑ Is completely fatal if the Gunner lands directly on top of a bot or pro. Upgrades increase shockwave damage, shockwave range, and decrease recharge time.
  14. ↑ Upgrades increase Critical Hit rate and level 3 adds a head shield to make headshots from a Sniper deal regular damage. Notably glitched on the 360 version, as Deploy level 3 actually has a lower critical hit rate than Deploy level 2 currently.
  15. ↑ Headshots on pros tend to be fatal, but most bots require multiple headshots to take down. Don't even think of using bodyshots against bots: you're just Cherry Tapping that way.
  16. ↑ Upgrades increase damage and radius. Careful; it hurts it's user too.
  17. ↑ Level 2 adds a freezing effect that paralyzes, level 3 causes it to drain skills as well.
  18. ↑ Upgrades do not affect damage to Jackbots.
  19. ↑ Level 2 adds infinite piercing ability, level 3 adds explosive splash damage.
  20. ↑ Oh right, did we mention her DD rack and curvaceous ass?
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