Deadpool/Self Demonstrating: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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[[File:Deadpool_cover_3947.jpg|frame|Check me out, [[Spider-Man|Spidey]] ain't got nuthin' on me! ... [[Oh Crap|Whoops]].]]
[[File:Deadpool cover 3947.jpg|frame|Check me out, [[Spider-Man|Spidey]] ain't got nuthin' on me! ... [[Oh Crap|Whoops]].]]




{{quote|''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|"Yay, now is ]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|fighty ]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|time, ]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|fighty ]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|time, blood blood ]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|blood]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|!"]]''|'''Me''', [[Deadpan Snarker|giving a lecture on the deep philosophical ramifications of what I represent to the collective subconscious in relation to a post-information age society]]... after I [[Shoryuken]]'d Kitty Pryde [[Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?|so Wolverine would fight me! ]]}}
{{quote|''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|"Yay, now is]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|fighty]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|time,]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|fighty]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|time, blood blood]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|blood]]'''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|!"]]''|'''Me''', [[Deadpan Snarker|giving a lecture on the deep philosophical ramifications of what I represent to the collective subconscious in relation to a post-information age society]]... after I [[Shoryuken]]'d Kitty Pryde [[Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?|so Wolverine would fight me!]]}}


[[No Fourth Wall|Heya]], [[Stan Lee|true believing]] [[Troper]]! This is me, Deadpool, aka [[Badass Nickname|The Merc with the Mouth]], [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|The Regenerating Degenerate]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|The Crimson Comedian]]. I'm a [[Marvel Comics]] mercenary [[Anti-Hero]] character, related to the [[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]] and [[Wolverine]] in particular. I appeared in print for the first time in ''[[New Mutants]]'' #98 (February, 1991) as a [[Captain Ersatz|ripoff]] of [[DC Comics|DC]] mercenary Deathstroke the Terminator, but Deathstroke himself was a rip-off of [[Taskmaster]]! [[Broken Aesop|So score Marvel!]] But that's old news. I'm all-new, I'm all-different, and boy does that feel good!
[[No Fourth Wall|Heya]], [[Stan Lee|true believing]] [[Troper]]! This is me, Deadpool, aka [[Badass Nickname|The Merc with the Mouth]], [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|The Regenerating Degenerate]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|The Crimson Comedian]]. I'm a [[Marvel Comics]] mercenary [[Anti-Hero]] character, related to the [[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]] and [[Wolverine]] in particular. I appeared in print for the first time in ''[[New Mutants]]'' #98 (February, 1991) as a [[Captain Ersatz|ripoff]] of [[DC Comics|DC]] mercenary Deathstroke the Terminator, but Deathstroke himself was a rip-off of [[Taskmaster]]! [[Broken Aesop|So score Marvel!]] But that's old news. I'm all-new, I'm all-different, and boy does that feel good!


[[Wolverine Publicity|I appear in many different comics]] in the [[Marvel Universe]]. Besides my own series -- which I'm pretty sure came with foil alt-covers ''and'' a collector card -- the biggest mutie badasses they've got are lining up to team with the dude who went toe-to-toe with the [[Incredible Hulk]] and came out in one piece. Yep, that's me! I can beat anyone! Well... except that '''[[Symbol Swearing|#$@#%#$%$]]''' [[Squirrel Girl]]. She kicked the ''mucus'' out of me constantly. But hey, that's OK! She did that to [[Doctor Doom|everybody]]. Truly, she's the single greatest threat to the multiverse. Well, except maybe Galactus<ref>Wait, didn't she beat him too? Yes she did, thank you bullet point!</ref>... and clowns. Never forget clowns.
[[Wolverine Publicity|I appear in many different comics]] in the [[Marvel Universe]]. Besides my own series—which I'm pretty sure came with foil alt-covers ''and'' a collector card—the biggest mutie badasses they've got are lining up to team with the dude who went toe-to-toe with the [[Incredible Hulk]] and came out in one piece. Yep, that's me! I can beat anyone! Well... except that '''[[Symbol Swearing|#$@#%#$%$]]''' [[Squirrel Girl]]. She kicked the ''mucus'' out of me constantly. But hey, that's OK! She did that to [[Doctor Doom|everybody]]. Truly, she's the single greatest threat to the multiverse. Well, except maybe Galactus<ref>Wait, didn't she beat him too? Yes she did, thank you bullet point!</ref>... and clowns. Never forget clowns.


As you're probably noticing ''just'' about now, [[Motor Mouth|I loooooove to talk]]. Yes, it's my most valuable asset: the lungs to provide endless witty banter in the heat of battle! [[Blatant Lies|In fact]], '''[[Blatant Lies|everybody]]''' [[Blatant Lies|loves to hear me talk]]!
As you're probably noticing ''just'' about now, [[Motor Mouth|I loooooove to talk]]. Yes, it's my most valuable asset: the lungs to provide endless witty banter in the heat of battle! [[Blatant Lies|In fact]], '''[[Blatant Lies|everybody]]''' [[Blatant Lies|loves to hear me talk]]!
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OK, I know what you're asking yourself: "How could a single -- albeit snappily-suited -- mercenary become so ''incredibly awesome'' in so many ways?" Oh, gather 'round, kiddies, this is gonna be good. See, my first big splash was hunting down and killing ''every single one'' of the Interweb feebs that thought it would be hilarious to star me in a "Ninja [[Spider-Man (Comic Book)|Spider-Man]]" meme. Caption ''this'', suckers! On the other hand, my own [[Memetic Mutation|memetic monologues]] led to me becoming '''''THE BEST SUPERHERO EVER'''''. That and the fact that [[Breaking the Fourth Wall|I always talk to my loyal (but still weaker) fans]]. [[Self-Demonstrating Article|Like now, for instance]]. You lucky, lucky nerds!
OK, I know what you're asking yourself: "How could a single -- albeit snappily-suited -- mercenary become so ''incredibly awesome'' in so many ways?" Oh, gather 'round, kiddies, this is gonna be good. See, my first big splash was hunting down and killing ''every single one'' of the Interweb feebs that thought it would be hilarious to star me in a "Ninja [[Spider-Man (Comic Book)|Spider-Man]]" meme. Caption ''this'', suckers! On the other hand, my own [[Memetic Mutation|memetic monologues]] led to me becoming '''''THE BEST SUPERHERO EVER'''''. That and the fact that [[Breaking the Fourth Wall|I always talk to my loyal (but still weaker) fans]]. [[Self-Demonstrating Article|Like now, for instance]]. You lucky, lucky nerds!


Yes, yes, I'm getting to that: "How could a dweebish square like Wade Wilson ever become ''the sexiest mercenary alive''?" Tricky question. Best I remember is some nice ice-cream salesmen told me they could fix my terminal cancer by injecting me with [[X-Men|Wolverine's]] man-juice (and by that I mean his DNA. [[Accidental Innuendo|Perv]]). Suddenly... ''-insert Dramatic Fanfare here-'' No, wait, let's go with that old [[Six Million Dollar Man]] thing instead. Yeah, I like that better. ''Bip-bip-bip-bip-BIP''... I became better, faster, strongerer and even got [[Healing Factor|the ability to heal quickly]], so that whenever the cancer shows up it ''instantly'' gets fixed... which is good, because it keeps showing up. As in instantly ''after'' it gets fixed. Yeah, you ladies knew it, right? I am [[This Is Sparta|just. That. Charming]].
Yes, yes, I'm getting to that: "How could a dweebish square like Wade Wilson ever become ''the sexiest mercenary alive''?" Tricky question. Best I remember is some nice ice-cream salesmen told me they could fix my terminal cancer by injecting me with [[X-Men|Wolverine's]] man-juice (and by that I mean his DNA. [[Accidental Innuendo|Perv]]). Suddenly... ''-insert Dramatic Fanfare here-'' No, wait, let's go with that old [[Six Million Dollar Man]] thing instead. Yeah, I like that better. ''Bip-bip-bip-bip-BIP''... I became better, faster, strongerer and even got [[Healing Factor|the ability to heal quickly]], so that whenever the cancer shows up it ''instantly'' gets fixed... which is good, because it keeps showing up. As in instantly ''after'' it gets fixed. Yeah, you ladies knew it, right? I am [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|just. That. Charming]].


Anyhoo, after a few zillion rounds of this, I became [[Body Horror|so goddamn handsome]] that '''[[Go Mad From the Revelation|my brain exploded]]'''. Eventually, my magical insanity powers allowed me to figure out that [[Medium Awareness|I'm a comic book character]]. From then on, I became BFFs with my thought bubbles, exposition panels, and [[Stan Lee]]. My fellow Weapon X classmates had run a '''pool''' to figure out which one of us would be '''dead''' first, so I naturally named myself [[Awesome McCoolname|Dr. Professor Carlos Winston Lazarus McBatman]]. Then I realized that I couldn't spell it, so I went with [[Meaningful Name|Deadpool]] instead.
Anyhoo, after a few zillion rounds of this, I became [[Body Horror|so goddamn handsome]] that '''[[Go Mad from the Revelation|my brain exploded]]'''. Eventually, my magical insanity powers allowed me to figure out that [[Medium Awareness|I'm a comic book character]]. From then on, I became BFFs with my thought bubbles, exposition panels, and [[Stan Lee]]. My fellow Weapon X classmates had run a '''pool''' to figure out which one of us would be '''dead''' first, so I naturally named myself [[Awesome McCoolname|Dr. Professor Carlos Winston Lazarus McBatman]]. Then I realized that I couldn't spell it, so I went with [[Meaningful Name|Deadpool]] instead.


Anyway, so you wanna know my fighting style, huh? Why, ''[[Confusion Fu|being absolutely rassum frassum crazy]]'' is my fighting style, kiddies! [[Don't Try This At Home]]! Wait... y'know what, go ahead, makes my job easier in the long run. Guns, [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosives]], guns, my trusty [[Katanas Are Just Better|katana]], [[Department of Redundancy Department|guns, guns]], [[Improvised Weapon|anything I find on the ground]], [[It's a Long Story|doorknobs]], guns, and [[Overly Long Gag|firearms]] are all ways I kill people. That is, of course, on the rare occasions my razor-sharp wit hasn't caused them to crumple into sobbing balls of surrender ''long'' before that. My good buddy Weasel also provides me with shiny new gadgets that help to kill more, so I can [[New Powers as the Plot Demands|use any power I want]].
Anyway, so you wanna know my fighting style, huh? Why, ''[[Confusion Fu|being absolutely rassum frassum crazy]]'' is my fighting style, kiddies! [[Don't Try This At Home]]! Wait... y'know what, go ahead, makes my job easier in the long run. Guns, [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosives]], guns, my trusty [[Katanas Are Just Better|katana]], [[Department of Redundancy Department|guns, guns]], [[Improvised Weapon|anything I find on the ground]], [[It's a Long Story|doorknobs]], guns, and [[Overly Long Gag|firearms]] are all ways I kill people. That is, of course, on the rare occasions my razor-sharp wit hasn't caused them to crumple into sobbing balls of surrender ''long'' before that. My good buddy Weasel also provides me with shiny new gadgets that help to kill more, so I can [[New Powers as the Plot Demands|use any power I want]].
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Also, you better never mistake me for [[The Joker|that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown]] who sided with those DC fellas. You know how many of my stupid [[Facebook]] friends ask me to "do that pencil trick"? '''''EVERY SINGLE ONE'''''.
Also, you better never mistake me for [[The Joker|that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown]] who sided with those DC fellas. You know how many of my stupid [[Facebook]] friends ask me to "do that pencil trick"? '''''EVERY SINGLE ONE'''''.


=== Lots of comics feature my unique uniqueness: ===
== Lots of comics feature my unique uniqueness ==
* ''[[New Mutants]]'': Where I first appeared as a Deathstroke ripoff. Then I started popping up in ''X-Force'' once the title switched over to something that was [[Darker and Edgier]].
* ''[[New Mutants]]'': Where I first appeared as a Deathstroke ripoff. Then I started popping up in ''X-Force'' once the title switched over to something that was [[Darker and Edgier]].
** I'm also added to the '''new''' X-Force roster after the whole '''"SECOND COMING"''' debacle. I hope Cyclops doesn't read this wiki, since it's supposed to be a secret! ''SHHHHH!''
** I'm also added to the '''new''' X-Force roster after the whole '''"SECOND COMING"''' debacle. I hope Cyclops doesn't read this wiki, since it's supposed to be a secret! ''SHHHHH!''
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* I drop by this '''5 RONIN''' March 2011 event, [[Blatant Lies|engaged in a heartwarming tale]] of five samurai being wronged by a particularly nasty daimyo. I'm focused in the fifth issue, [[Ensemble Darkhorse|of course they save the best for last]].
* I drop by this '''5 RONIN''' March 2011 event, [[Blatant Lies|engaged in a heartwarming tale]] of five samurai being wronged by a particularly nasty daimyo. I'm focused in the fifth issue, [[Ensemble Darkhorse|of course they save the best for last]].


=== My incredible awesomeness allows me to also transcend print media: ===
== My incredible awesomeness allows me to also transcend print media ==
* ''[[X-Men (film)|X-Men Origins: Wolverine]]'', although Wade Wilson was more in character when he was a normal person than the abomination I can only describe as [[Fan Nickname|Dudepeel]] (eew!). The actor who humbly played me, [[Ryan Reynolds]] ([[One of Us|himself a fan of yours truly]]), seems determined to do a more true-to-the-comics version for my new spin-off movie. Because of his portayal, People Magazine named him (and by association, moi) Sexiest Man Alive. What a guy!
* ''[[X-Men (film)|X-Men Origins: Wolverine]]'', although Wade Wilson was more in character when he was a normal person than the abomination I can only describe as [[Fan Nickname|Dudepeel]] (eew!). The actor who humbly played me, [[Ryan Reynolds]] ([[One of Us|himself a fan of yours truly]]), seems determined to do a more true-to-the-comics version for my new spin-off movie. Because of his portayal, People Magazine named him (and by association, moi) Sexiest Man Alive. What a guy!
* I decided to animate myself as a member of Weapon X in ''[[Hulk vs. Wolverine]]'', the first time I ever got animated excluding [[X-Men (animation)|the 90's X-Men cartoon]] where some guy called Morph decided to transform into me for a second. [[Nolan North]] provided my heavenly voice and although I never mentioned I was in a cartoon, I was still cool.
* I decided to animate myself as a member of Weapon X in ''[[Hulk vs. Wolverine]]'', the first time I ever got animated excluding [[X-Men (animation)|the 90's X-Men cartoon]] where some guy called Morph decided to transform into me for a second. [[Nolan North]] provided my heavenly voice and although I never mentioned I was in a cartoon, I was still cool.
* I was going to star in ''[[Wolverine and the X-Men]]'' in its second season (with Nolan North voicing me), but some executive decided to cancel the show. What the hell?
* I was going to star in ''[[Wolverine and the X-Men]]'' in its second season (with Nolan North voicing me), but some executive decided to cancel the show. What the hell?
* John Kassir, also known as [[Tales from the Crypt|The Crypt Keeper]] and [[Adventure Time|the first Ice King]], moved my vocal chords in ''[[X Men Legends|X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse]]'' and both ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]'' games.
* John Kassir, also known as [[Tales from the Crypt|The Crypt Keeper]] and [[Adventure Time|the first Ice King]], moved my vocal chords in ''[[X-Men Legends|X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse]]'' and both ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]'' games.
* I also decided to drop into ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'', with Nolan voicing me again. '''[[Memetic Mutation|F*@# THE KNICKS!]]'''
* I also decided to drop into ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'', with Nolan voicing me again. '''[[Memetic Mutation|F*@# THE KNICKS!]]'''
* I'm also a boss battle ([[Nolan North]] again) in ''[[Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions]]''. In the Ultimate Verse! Boo! Though this Ultimate Deadpool [[Rescued From the Scrappy Heap|retains some of my greatness]]. (Kassir even [[Actor Allusion|shows up]] as one of my mooks for bonus nerd points).
* I'm also a boss battle ([[Nolan North]] again) in ''[[Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions]]''. In the Ultimate Verse! Boo! Though this Ultimate Deadpool [[Rescued from the Scrappy Heap|retains some of my greatness]]. (Kassir even [[Actor Allusion|shows up]] as one of my mooks for bonus nerd points).
* I'm even going to be in The ''[[The Superhero Squad Show|Marvel Super Hero Squad Online Game]]''. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FRRPu9kfMo Here's a trailer with me in it]. Blink and you'll miss me, but you can clearly see me shooting an exploding Piñata! Weird.
* I'm even going to be in The ''[[The Superhero Squad Show|Marvel Super Hero Squad Online Game]]''. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FRRPu9kfMo Here's a trailer with me in it]. Blink and you'll miss me, but you can clearly see me shooting an exploding Piñata! Weird.
* [[Defictionalization|I even managed to break into]] [[Real Life]], too! [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ You can see me patrolling the streets in Wenatchee Valley]. And again at Comic-Con! I even brought my health bar and got to play in an ''Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3'' tournament ([[Accidental Innuendo|playing with myself]], of course)!
* [[Defictionalization|I even managed to break into]] [[Real Life]], too! [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ You can see me patrolling the streets in Wenatchee Valley]. And again at Comic-Con! I even brought my health bar and got to play in an ''Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3'' tournament ([[Accidental Innuendo|playing with myself]], of course)!
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=== Some of the many beautiful tropes that describe me include: ===
== Some of the many beautiful tropes that describe me include ==
* [[Alliterative Name]]: Wade Winston Wilson.
* [[Alliterative Name]]: Wade Winston Wilson.
** [[Nolan North]] and [[Ryan Reynolds]] have both done my voice. [[Added Alliterative Appeal|See what I did there?]]
** [[Nolan North]] and [[Ryan Reynolds]] have both done my voice. [[Alliteration|See what I did there?]]
* [[Alternate Universe]]: Several iterations of yours truly have been made into comic form for your perusal. There's also that Deadpool Corps thing, where we're all alternates of ourselves! FUN!
* [[Alternate Universe]]: Several iterations of yours truly have been made into comic form for your perusal. There's also that Deadpool Corps thing, where we're all alternates of ourselves! FUN!
* [[Always Someone Better]]: So what if people call me the discount version of Wolverine? That guy can get his butt kicked by refrigerator magnets!'
* [[Always Someone Better]]: So what if people call me the discount version of Wolverine? That guy can get his butt kicked by refrigerator magnets!'
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* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: Remember tropers, Ultimate Me is available for black ops, missions, assassinations, and birthday parties!
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: Remember tropers, Ultimate Me is available for black ops, missions, assassinations, and birthday parties!
* [[Asskicking Pose]]: I [[Invoked Trope|invoke]] it in [[Hulk Vs|Hulk Vs Wolverine]], and hell if it didn't do the trick.
* [[Asskicking Pose]]: I [[Invoked Trope|invoke]] it in [[Hulk Vs|Hulk Vs Wolverine]], and hell if it didn't do the trick.
* [[Ass Shove]]: I have to use ''a lot'' of lube to hold all of my weapons.
* [[Ass Shove]]: I have to use ''a lot'' of lube to hold all of my weapons.
* [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses]]: In Deadpool/Cable #26, natch!
* [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses]]: In Deadpool/Cable #26, natch!
* [[Baa Bomb]]: I had an inflatable sheep gun at one point. Unfortunately, the one time you feebs have the honor of seeing it, it fails me.
* [[Baa Bomb]]: I had an inflatable sheep gun at one point. Unfortunately, the one time you feebs have the honor of seeing it, it fails me.
{{quote| '''Yours Truly''': Missed? I '''never''' miss with the sheep gun.}}
{{quote|'''Yours Truly''': Missed? I '''never''' miss with the sheep gun.}}
* [[Badass]]: Oh yeah. I am exactly that: ''A character who gets away with outright insane stunts that would never work in real life''. Most times it overlaps with my [[Crazy Awesome]]. [[Dude, Where's My Respect?|Not that many people are willing to acknowledge how badass I am, though]] ([[Captain Oblivious|they're just envious]]).
* [[Badass]]: Oh yeah. I am exactly that: ''A character who gets away with outright insane stunts that would never work in real life''. Most times it overlaps with my [[Crazy Awesome]]. [[Dude, Where's My Respect?|Not that many people are willing to acknowledge how badass I am, though]] ([[Captain Oblivious|they're just envious]]).
** [[Badass Transplant]], since [[Running Gag|I am not a mutant]].
** [[Badass Transplant]], since [[Running Gag|I am not a mutant]].
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* [[Biting the Hand Humor]]: Why, yes. You do suck. Especially at fighting games.
* [[Biting the Hand Humor]]: Why, yes. You do suck. Especially at fighting games.
* [[Black Comedy]]: Par for the course. I'm a ''PSYCHOPATH''.
* [[Black Comedy]]: Par for the course. I'm a ''PSYCHOPATH''.
{{quote| '''Me''': [[Sarcasm Mode|Astute observation]], [[Captain Obvious]].<br />
{{quote|'''Me''': [[Sarcasm Mode|Astute observation]], [[Captain Obvious]].<br />
'''Me''': Wait, [[Take That Us|did I just diss myself?]]<br />
'''Me''': Wait, [[Take That Us|did I just diss myself?]]<br />
'''Me''': [[Talking to Themself|And this just surprises you right now]]? I mean, me? }}
'''Me''': [[Inner Dialogue|And this just surprises you right now]]? I mean, me? }}
* [[Blessed with Suck]]: I'm a living cancer! Of course I would enjoy the sweet smell of Death... in more ways than one.
* [[Blessed with Suck]]: I'm a living cancer! Of course I would enjoy the sweet smell of Death... in more ways than one.
* [[Blood Knight]]: I love fighting and killing.
* [[Blood Knight]]: I love fighting and killing.
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** The whole gig gets [[Body Horror|even more disgusting]], because from that point on, whenever Nate tries to teleport, his teleporting whatzamacallit recognizes us as one person and fuses our bodies together at arrival. He finds a way to fix things, though.
** The whole gig gets [[Body Horror|even more disgusting]], because from that point on, whenever Nate tries to teleport, his teleporting whatzamacallit recognizes us as one person and fuses our bodies together at arrival. He finds a way to fix things, though.
* [[Breakout Character]]: I may have started small, but it's scientifically proven that I am the most greatest Marvel character of all time.
* [[Breakout Character]]: I may have started small, but it's scientifically proven that I am the most greatest Marvel character of all time.
{{quote| '''Wrecker''': Buncha minor league wannabes, yer kidding right?<br />
{{quote|'''Wrecker''': Buncha minor league wannabes, yer kidding right?
'''Me''': Wannabes?<br />
'''Me''': Wannabes?
'''My Thought Box''': Yeah, we got two books out right now.<br />
'''My Thought Box''': Yeah, we got two books out right now.
'''My Other Thought Box''': [[Shameless Self Promoter|And another one coming out next month]]. }}
'''My Other Thought Box''': [[Shameless Self Promoter|And another one coming out next month]]. }}
** I * steal* ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]''. After all, I refer to my team as [[A Good Name for a Rock Band|"Deadpool and his Cronies"]]. During the closing credits of the sequel {{spoiler|I argue with the developer over not being powerful enough and the game not being called "Deadpool And His Inferior Friends". Then he goes ahead and nerfs me and even has the nerve to threaten me by making me DLC! What an ass!!!}}
** I * steal* ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]''. After all, I refer to my team as [[A Good Name for a Rock Band|"Deadpool and his Cronies"]]. During the closing credits of the sequel {{spoiler|I argue with the developer over not being powerful enough and the game not being called "Deadpool And His Inferior Friends". Then he goes ahead and nerfs me and even has the nerve to threaten me by making me DLC! What an ass!!!}}
* [[Buddy Cop Show]]: There was this time I got stuck with this guy Cable. He was a straight-laced stickler for protocol, and me an unpredictable loose cannon with several cannons of my own.
* [[Buddy Cop Show]]: There was this time I got stuck with this guy Cable. He was a straight-laced stickler for protocol, and me an unpredictable loose cannon with several cannons of my own.
* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]: I mentioned the whole "batshit-crazy and immortal badass" thing right?
* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]: I mentioned the whole "batshit-crazy and immortal badass" thing right?
* [[But Thou Must!]]: After the whole [[Moral Event Horizon|"I Screw Weasel"]] arc, some [[Executive Meddling|Vegas Executives]] wanted me to be an enforcer full time... [[Defied Trope|but]] [[Curb Stomp Battle|I begged to differ]].
* [[But Thou Must!]]: After the whole [[Moral Event Horizon|"I Screw Weasel"]] arc, some [[Executive Meddling|Vegas Executives]] wanted me to be an enforcer full time... [[Defied Trope|but]] [[Curb Stomp Battle|I begged to differ]].
* [[Butter Face]]: Nice, saliently muscled body (under the spandex anyway) but the face is... not that attractive to say the least.
* [[Butter Face]]: Nice, saliently muscled body (under the spandex anyway) but the face is... not that attractive to say the least.
* [[Captain Ersatz]]: Yeah, hate to admit it, but I started out as a ripoff of that Deathstroke guy from ''[[Teen Titans (Comic Book)|Teen Titans]]''. You can see it in the costumes, the jobs, hell, even the names! As a tribute, Joe Kelly managed to sneak me into [[The DCU]] as the Earth-3 version of him. Also, I happened to meet the guy I was doppelganging during a Marvel/DC crossover.
* [[Captain Ersatz]]: Yeah, hate to admit it, but I started out as a ripoff of that Deathstroke guy from ''[[Teen Titans (Comic Book)|Teen Titans]]''. You can see it in the costumes, the jobs, hell, even the names! As a tribute, Joe Kelly managed to sneak me into [[The DCU]] as the Earth-3 version of him. Also, I happened to meet the guy I was doppelganging during a Marvel/DC crossover.
** In Deathstroke's own early 90s book there was a "long lost half-brother" named "'''Wade''' Le Farge", who showed up wanting to become Deathstroke, and take away everything that belonged to him in gruesomely irrational fashion. Although I borrowed almost as heavily from that [[The Joker|crazy-but-not-as-crazy-as-me-in-the-slightest clown]] and Spidey.
** In Deathstroke's own early 90s book there was a "long lost half-brother" named "'''Wade''' Le Farge", who showed up wanting to become Deathstroke, and take away everything that belonged to him in gruesomely irrational fashion. Although I borrowed almost as heavily from that [[The Joker|crazy-but-not-as-crazy-as-me-in-the-slightest clown]] and Spidey.
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* [[Career Killer]]: Obviously. But [[Captain Oblivious|the]] [[Hobos|D-Man]] is the best at what he does, [[Money, Dear Boy|and what he does depends on how much money you can pay up front]].
* [[Career Killer]]: Obviously. But [[Captain Oblivious|the]] [[Hobos|D-Man]] is the best at what he does, [[Money, Dear Boy|and what he does depends on how much money you can pay up front]].
* [[Catgirl]]: Not me, but I do have my eyes set on one in ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]]''...
* [[Catgirl]]: Not me, but I do have my eyes set on one in ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]]''...
{{quote| '''Felicia''': "For the last time, I don't care how much catnip you have! I'm NOT getting in your car with you!" (Me: "Awww... but why not?")}}
{{quote|'''Felicia''': "For the last time, I don't care how much catnip you have! I'm NOT getting in your car with you!" (Me: "Awww... but why not?")}}
* [[Chekhov's Gun]]: Daniel Way loves to write these in my stories. In one story, I had {{spoiler|Chekhov's Exploding Chair, Chekhov's Buttloads of Cash, and Chekhov's Russian Nuclear Submarine... or is that Chekhov's [[Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home|Nuclear Wessel?]]}}
* [[Chekhov's Gun]]: Daniel Way loves to write these in my stories. In one story, I had {{spoiler|Chekhov's Exploding Chair, Chekhov's Buttloads of Cash, and Chekhov's Russian Nuclear Submarine... or is that Chekhov's [[Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home|Nuclear Wessel?]]}}
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]: Oh sure Way, bring some other regenerating mercenaries who also attempt to make wisecracks. '''[[Sarcasm Mode|I'm soooooooooooooooo sure they won't be relevant in the future!]]'''
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]: Oh sure Way, bring some other regenerating mercenaries who also attempt to make wisecracks. '''[[Sarcasm Mode|I'm soooooooooooooooo sure they won't be relevant in the future!]]'''
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* [[Confusion Fu]]: My legendary fighting style, key in my victory against [[Awesomeness By Analysis|Taskmaster]].
* [[Confusion Fu]]: My legendary fighting style, key in my victory against [[Awesomeness By Analysis|Taskmaster]].
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]]: During a climactic battle with a highly cultured German douchebag assassin known as the Black Swan, I invade the guy's home, give his guards some bad cases of dead, destroy large sections of surrounding forest, deface art that's worth millions of dollars and do everything possible to get the guy to fight me. Then when I start singing country and western songs over the PA system...
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]]: During a climactic battle with a highly cultured German douchebag assassin known as the Black Swan, I invade the guy's home, give his guards some bad cases of dead, destroy large sections of surrounding forest, deface art that's worth millions of dollars and do everything possible to get the guy to fight me. Then when I start singing country and western songs over the PA system...
{{quote| '''Black Swan''': "He dies! He dies SCREAMING!!!"}}
{{quote|'''Black Swan''': "He dies! He dies SCREAMING!!!"}}
** [[Fate Worse Than Death|That got boring pretty fast though, so I went with alternative folk rock next]].
** [[Fate Worse Than Death|That got boring pretty fast though, so I went with alternative folk rock next]].
* [[Covered with Scars]]: Or maybe they're just tumors. Or both, even. I dunno.
* [[Covered with Scars]]: Or maybe they're just tumors. Or both, even. I dunno.
* [[Cursed with Awesome]]: One time, I insulted Loki, so he made me have Tom Cruise's face until I apologized. The thing was so indestructable, I nearly gave up on ever ripping it off.
* [[Cursed with Awesome]]: One time, I insulted Loki, so he made me have Tom Cruise's face until I apologized. The thing was so indestructable, I nearly gave up on ever ripping it off.
** The fact that a side effect of an indestructible face was an indestructible body allowed me to survive an explosion that litterally left me as the only thing remaining in one piece in the middle of a huge crater. However, Loki removed the curse immediately after I figured out how awesome this is.
** The fact that a side effect of an indestructible face was an indestructible body allowed me to survive an explosion that litterally left me as the only thing remaining in one piece in the middle of a huge crater. However, Loki removed the curse immediately after I figured out how awesome this is.
** Okay, so me and [[Omnicidal Maniac|Thanos]] [[Love Triangle|both have the hots for Death]]. The solution, considering the [[Death of the Hypotenuse|standard approach]] kinda won't work here and the ''other'' [[Three-Way Sex|standard approach]] is never gonna happen? Thanos made me ''[[Who Wants to Live Forever?|immortal]]''. And I thought '''''I''''' was an asshole...
** Okay, so me and [[Omnicidal Maniac|Thanos]] [[Love Triangle|both have the hots for Death]]. The solution, considering the [[Death of the Hypotenuse|standard approach]] kinda won't work here and the ''other'' [[Three-Way Sex|standard approach]] is never gonna happen? Thanos made me ''[[Who Wants to Live Forever?|immortal]]''. And I thought '''''I''''' was an asshole...
* [[Dark and Troubled Past]]: I don't wanna talk about it...
* [[Dark and Troubled Past]]: I don't wanna talk about it...
* [[Deadpan Snarker|Dead]][[A Worldwide Punomenon|pool]] [[Deadpan Snarker|Snarker]]: The one and only. Everybody comments on my wit.
* [[Deadpan Snarker|Dead]][[A Worldwide Punomenon|pool]] [[Deadpan Snarker|Snarker]]: The one and only. Everybody comments on my wit.
** Not just other characters. During my face off with the Punisher in issue #55, I said that I even get tired of my own talking.
** Not just other characters. During my face off with the Punisher in issue #55, I said that I even get tired of my own talking.
{{quote| "I just drone on and on. Sometimes I just don't know when to shut up. And that's why I have to kill you . . . so I can pay my phone bill!"}}
{{quote|"I just drone on and on. Sometimes I just don't know when to shut up. And that's why I have to kill you . . . so I can pay my phone bill!"}}
** In one issue, I was snatched by a [[Death Trap]] enthusiast. I was chained down underneath a giant teddy bear [[It Makes Sense in Context|(just go with it)]], which descends lower every time I spoke and will eventually smother me. I had to break my own limbs to get out just 'cause I wouldn't shut up.
** In one issue, I was snatched by a [[Death Trap]] enthusiast. I was chained down underneath a giant teddy bear [[It Makes Sense in Context|(just go with it)]], which descends lower every time I spoke and will eventually smother me. I had to break my own limbs to get out just 'cause I wouldn't shut up.
*** At least, the bear was ''originally'' going to smother me, but because of my constant blathering, as Deathtrap put it:
*** At least, the bear was ''originally'' going to smother me, but because of my constant blathering, as Deathtrap put it:
{{quote| '''Deathtrap''': Fascinating! Teddy has approached ramming speed.}}
{{quote|'''Deathtrap''': Fascinating! Teddy has approached ramming speed.}}
* [[Death-Activated Superpower]]: How I got my Spiffy McSpiff [[Healing Factor]]! Wait a minute, does this mean I'm a zombie?! No wonder I find [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|Hsien-ko]] so adorable!
* [[Death-Activated Superpower]]: How I got my Spiffy McSpiff [[Healing Factor]]! Wait a minute, does this mean I'm a zombie?! No wonder I find [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|Hsien-ko]] so adorable!
* [[Death Seeker]]: Literally! Death is HOT!
* [[Death Seeker]]: Literally! Death is HOT!
* [[Decompressed Comic]] / [[Overly Long Gag]]: After being stuck in a lab tank for days, I pissed in Mr. Sinister's bathroom '''for a page and a half'''.
* [[Decompressed Comic]] / [[Overly Long Gag]]: After being stuck in a lab tank for days, I pissed in Mr. Sinister's bathroom '''for a page and a half'''.
{{quote| '''Me''': Anyway, he built this funky harness for when--<br />
{{quote|'''Me''': Anyway, he built this funky harness for when--
'''Mr. Sinister''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Wash your hands]]. }}
'''Mr. Sinister''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Wash your hands]]. }}
* [[Defictionalization]]: No, not a product I sold or anything like that. ME. [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ I escaped the comic book world, you guys!] Let's see Wolverine do THAT! And they say HE's the best!
* [[Defictionalization]]: No, not a product I sold or anything like that. ME. [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ I escaped the comic book world, you guys!] Let's see Wolverine do THAT! And they say HE's the best!
* [[Depending on the Writer]]: Eventually even me and T-Ray stopped caring about who really was Wade Wilson, so we just accepted that it depended on the writer.
* [[Depending on the Writer]]: Eventually even me and T-Ray stopped caring about who really was Wade Wilson, so we just accepted that it depended on the writer.
** Also determines how crazy I am, which side of the [[Heel Face Revolving Door]] I'm leaning towards that day...
** Also determines how crazy I am, which side of the [[Heel Face Revolving Door]] I'm leaning towards that day...
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* [[The Determinator]]: Usually I gotta tangle with opponents much more high-falutin' and educated than I is. Doesn't stop me from tryin'.
* [[The Determinator]]: Usually I gotta tangle with opponents much more high-falutin' and educated than I is. Doesn't stop me from tryin'.
* [[Downer Ending]]: {{spoiler|Wade Wilson's War all took place in my head and Dom and I are reduced to a pair of foam-in-the-mouth paraplegics! Actually, there are some parts that are left vague and open to interpretation. [[Gainax Ending|GUH! MY BRAIN!]]}}
* [[Downer Ending]]: {{spoiler|Wade Wilson's War all took place in my head and Dom and I are reduced to a pair of foam-in-the-mouth paraplegics! Actually, there are some parts that are left vague and open to interpretation. [[Gainax Ending|GUH! MY BRAIN!]]}}
* [[Dream Sequence]]: In one issue of Priscila and Deadpool, Black Mamba used her powers to distract me by making me dream of my greatest desire -- which at the time was rubbing sunscreen on Cable's back on a sunny beach. Drinks with tiny umbrellas and WD-40 may also have been involved.
* [[Dream Sequence]]: In one issue of Priscila and Deadpool, Black Mamba used her powers to distract me by making me dream of my greatest desire—which at the time was rubbing sunscreen on Cable's back on a sunny beach. Drinks with tiny umbrellas and WD-40 may also have been involved.
* [[Duct Tape for Everything]]: Check [http://lafinjack.net/images/comicz/deadpool/deadpool_ducttape.jpg this] out. Oh, there was also that time when Cable, [[Captain America]] and a few others frickin' ''cocooned'' me with duct tape in an empty warehouse and left me there for hours. And to make things worse... [[Crowning Moment of Funny|I had to pee]].
* [[Duct Tape for Everything]]: Check [https://web.archive.org/web/20160309212944/http://lafinjack.net/images/comicz/deadpool/deadpool_ducttape.jpg this] out. Oh, there was also that time when Cable, [[Captain America (comics)]] and a few others frickin' ''cocooned'' me with duct tape in an empty warehouse and left me there for hours. And to make things worse... [[Crowning Moment of Funny|I had to pee]].
* [[Dude, Where's My Respect?]]: Despite being one of the deadliest characters in the Marvel Universe, I get close to no respect from anyone.
* [[Dude, Where's My Respect?]]: Despite being one of the deadliest characters in the Marvel Universe, I get close to no respect from anyone.
* [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]: I do this a ''lot'' (for all you know, this whole thing might have been transcribed from me babbling in the ear of one o' you tropers for a few hours). My internal yellow caption box monologue is often 'broken', usually without me realizing it, meaning everyone else on the page can hear what I think. Sometimes, I only think I'm doing an internal monologue, when I'm really talking. Also, I tend to have very disturbing dreams, plus a habit of sleeptalking just before I wake up, creating very embarrassing moments for everyone involved.
* [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]: I do this a ''lot'' (for all you know, this whole thing might have been transcribed from me babbling in the ear of one o' you tropers for a few hours). My internal yellow caption box monologue is often 'broken', usually without me realizing it, meaning everyone else on the page can hear what I think. Sometimes, I only think I'm doing an internal monologue, when I'm really talking. Also, I tend to have very disturbing dreams, plus a habit of sleeptalking just before I wake up, creating very embarrassing moments for everyone involved.
{{quote| '''Me''': No, G.I.Joe, don't do that to Barbie... It's so very, '''very''', wrong... -- Uhm... I wasn't dreaming anything '''too''' embarrassing, wasn't I?<br />
{{quote|'''Me''': No, G.I.Joe, don't do that to Barbie... It's so very, '''very''', wrong... -- Uhm... I wasn't dreaming anything '''too''' embarrassing, wasn't I?
'''Irene''' (''staring''): No... Not by your standards, no. }}
'''Irene''' (''staring''): No... Not by your standards, no. }}
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: I might be a merc and an assassin for hire, but I tend to only accept contracts on really bad people (and the occasional superhero) and as the above example with the psychiatrist proves, [[This Is Sparta|"Kids. Are. Off. Limits!"]]. In fact, once, when a bunch of mercs broke me out of a jail and murdered several cops in the process, I turned on them and killed the whole lot of them.
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: I might be a merc and an assassin for hire, but I tend to only accept contracts on really bad people (and the occasional superhero) and as the above example with the psychiatrist proves, [[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|"Kids. Are. Off. Limits!"]]. In fact, once, when a bunch of mercs broke me out of a jail and murdered several cops in the process, I turned on them and killed the whole lot of them.
* [[Faux Affably Evil]]: I am "sadistic, evil, but charming as hell."
* [[Faux Affably Evil]]: I am "sadistic, evil, but charming as hell."
* [[Embarrassing Nickname]]: Nate does not like it when I call him Priscilla. It's not my fault I can't keep track of all his damn names!
* [[Embarrassing Nickname]]: Nate does not like it when I call him Priscilla. It's not my fault I can't keep track of all his damn names!
* [[Everything's Better with Bob]], agent of HYDRA!
* [[Everything's Better with Bob]], agent of HYDRA!
* [[Evil Albino]]: T-Ray, and Tombstone. A black one, at that.
* [[Evil Albino]]: T-Ray, and Tombstone. A black one, at that.
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* [[Expressive Mask]]
* [[Expressive Mask]]
* [[Fan Boy]]: I'm a fan boy of Captain America! Did they remember the time he was possessed by some alien thing and I kicked him in the crotch to save the world though?
* [[Fan Boy]]: I'm a fan boy of Captain America! Did they remember the time he was possessed by some alien thing and I kicked him in the crotch to save the world though?
{{quote| '''Me''': [[The Greatest Story Never Told|No one remembers]] [[You Suck|but us]]. <br />
{{quote|'''Me''': [[The Greatest Story Never Told|No one remembers]] [[You Suck|but us]]. <br />
'''Me''': [[Mythology Gag|The guy who made next issue's cover]] seems to remember though. }}
'''Me''': [[Mythology Gag|The guy who made next issue's cover]] seems to remember though. }}
** One time I was mashed to a pulp by ''Mighty Thor!!!'' (fanboy squeal)
** One time I was mashed to a pulp by ''Mighty Thor!!!'' (fanboy squeal)
* [[Fan Disservice]]: Kind of depressing to know that even in a universe where I'm a shapely sex bomb, I'm not allowed to NOT be horribly deformed. Lady Deadpool may actually be even more offputting than me...
* [[Fan Disservice]]: Kind of depressing to know that even in a universe where I'm a shapely sex bomb, I'm not allowed to NOT be horribly deformed. Lady Deadpool may actually be even more offputting than me...
* [[Fan Service]]: ...unless she's wearing her mask. : )
* [[Fan Service]]: ...unless she's wearing her mask. : )
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** And Taskmaster fills the role of [[Sixth Ranger]]
** And Taskmaster fills the role of [[Sixth Ranger]]
* [[Fourth Wall Mail Slot]]: In my series, I've often recapped the story arc so far in the first page. And then answered my own fan mail. In said Mail Slot, I'm often accompanied by other characters from my series... who are very confused as to who they're supposed to be talking to. Their expression are worth the effort. To me, anyway. I guess you can't see them.
* [[Fourth Wall Mail Slot]]: In my series, I've often recapped the story arc so far in the first page. And then answered my own fan mail. In said Mail Slot, I'm often accompanied by other characters from my series... who are very confused as to who they're supposed to be talking to. Their expression are worth the effort. To me, anyway. I guess you can't see them.
* [[Fourth Wall Observer]]: Fabian Nicieza usually makes a recap page that isn't in continuity, which means that blobs like [[X-Men (Comic Book)|the Blob]] can break the fourth wall at will during the recap page. One recap page had Cable hinting to me that he'd infected me with subliminal messages. Since the recap page wasn't in continuity, I didn't know about the meeting, which didn't stop me from, in the story, saying these words:
* [[Fourth Wall Observer]]: Fabian Nicieza usually makes a recap page that isn't in continuity, which means that blobs like [[X-Men (Comic Book)|the Blob]] can break the fourth wall at will during the recap page. One recap page had Cable hinting to me that he'd infected me with subliminal messages. Since the recap page wasn't in continuity, I didn't know about the meeting, which didn't stop me from, in the story, saying these words:
{{quote| '''Me''': Y'know, I'm really beginning to wish the recap page were part of my regular continuity, 'cause then I might have a clue...}}
{{quote|'''Me''': Y'know, I'm really beginning to wish the recap page were part of my regular continuity, 'cause then I might have a clue...}}
* [[Freudian Excuse]]: I SAID I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
* [[Freudian Excuse]]: I SAID I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
* [[Fun Personified]]. And Guns Personified. But mostly fun.
* [[Fun Personified]]. And Guns Personified. But mostly fun.
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** [http://johjohnfalcao.deviantart.com/art/Felicia-and-Deadpool-252558251 Except now it does]. Of course, I'm not the one wearing it, but...
** [http://johjohnfalcao.deviantart.com/art/Felicia-and-Deadpool-252558251 Except now it does]. Of course, I'm not the one wearing it, but...
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Of course.
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Of course.
** I'm not [[Genre Savvy]]! I'm [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]!
** I'm not [[Genre Savvy]]! I'm [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]!
** Sometimes it becomes [[Wrong Genre Savvy]] but I'm never wrong... Right?.
** Sometimes it becomes [[Wrong Genre Savvy]] but I'm never wrong... Right?.
* [[The Greatest Story Never Told]]: I've saved the world on quite a number of occasions, it's just that no one was there to see them. Really.
* [[The Greatest Story Never Told]]: I've saved the world on quite a number of occasions, it's just that no one was there to see them. Really.
* [[Good Thing You Can Heal]]: [[Averted Trope|Not really]] a ''[[Blessed with Suck|"good"]]'' thing.
* [[Good Thing You Can Heal]]: [[Averted Trope|Not really]] a ''[[Blessed with Suck|"good"]]'' thing.
* [[Guns Akimbo]]: Aw yeah! Double the guns, double the fun.
* [[Guns Akimbo]]: Aw yeah! Double the guns, double the fun.
* [[Healing Factor]]: In fact, the cancer repeatedly spreading to my brain and instantly healing is the reason I'm so much saner than everyone else!
* [[Healing Factor]]: In fact, the cancer repeatedly spreading to my brain and instantly healing is the reason I'm so much saner than everyone else!
* [[The Heart]]: I function as this in Uncanny X-Force. When you got me as [[The Heart]], something is seriously wrong with the team.
* [[The Heart]]: I function as this in Uncanny X-Force. When you got me as [[The Heart]], something is seriously wrong with the team.
** Not to mention I never cashed [[Rich Idiot With No Day Job|Warren's]] checks for the better part of a year!
** Not to mention I never cashed [[Rich Idiot With No Day Job|Warren's]] checks for the better part of a year!
* [[Heel Face Revolving Door]]: Sometimes I may pal around with the so-called "superheroes" if there's some big nasty that has to be dealt with, yet when I see them again because I was hired to beat the crap out of them, they complain! Considering how often most of them do the whole [[Heel Face Turn]] thing in their own books, why are they shocked again? Hypocrisy, man.
* [[Heel Face Revolving Door]]: Sometimes I may pal around with the so-called "superheroes" if there's some big nasty that has to be dealt with, yet when I see them again because I was hired to beat the crap out of them, they complain! Considering how often most of them do the whole [[Heel Face Turn]] thing in their own books, why are they shocked again? Hypocrisy, man.
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* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: In my very best mood. In my worse moments I'm paid to be an assassin and torture artist, and have personally eviscerated thousands of people for cash, kicks, and [[Complete Monster|giggles]]. And lo, do I giggle.
* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: In my very best mood. In my worse moments I'm paid to be an assassin and torture artist, and have personally eviscerated thousands of people for cash, kicks, and [[Complete Monster|giggles]]. And lo, do I giggle.
** ...although, wait. ''Heroic?''
** ...although, wait. ''Heroic?''
* [[Hero with an F In Good]]: F as in fantastic! Wait, that's not what it stands for...?
* [[Hero with an F In Good]]: F as in fantastic! Wait, that's not what it stands for...?
** I mean, how could anybody pass if even copying off that geek Spidey doesn't help?
** I mean, how could anybody pass if even copying off that geek Spidey doesn't help?
* [[I Just Want to Be Loved]]: Deep down, I actually want to be acknowledged and accepted by the rest of the heroes in the Marvel Universe.
* [[I Just Want to Be Loved]]: Deep down, I actually want to be acknowledged and accepted by the rest of the heroes in the Marvel Universe.
* [[Image Song]]: My [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MVC3]] theme song has managed to capture [[Anti Role Model|my essence]]: "[[Hypocrisy Nod|DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL]]."
* [[Image Song]]: My [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MVC3]] theme song has managed to capture [[Anti Role Model|my essence]]: "[[Hypocrisy Nod|DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL]]."
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** Better yet: Fulfilling my childhood dream by wearing raw meat as body armor and senselessly beating a super villain dressed like a superhero (Hawkeye, then called Bullseye) with a giant ham.
** Better yet: Fulfilling my childhood dream by wearing raw meat as body armor and senselessly beating a super villain dressed like a superhero (Hawkeye, then called Bullseye) with a giant ham.
* [[Jerkass]]: Hey, I resemble that remark! Sometimes I am shown as a [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]], as in ''Cable and Deadpool'' #17. That's just 'cause he brings out the best in me, the big lug...
* [[Jerkass]]: Hey, I resemble that remark! Sometimes I am shown as a [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]], as in ''Cable and Deadpool'' #17. That's just 'cause he brings out the best in me, the big lug...
{{quote| '''Deadpool''': You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his ''real parent''! [[Heartwarming Moments|He needs someone who'll]] ''[[Heartwarming Moments|love]]'' [[Heartwarming Moments|him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the]] ''[[Heartwarming Moments|good]]'' [[Heartwarming Moments|porn! Someone like]] '''[[Heartwarming Moments|me]]'''!}}
{{quote|'''Deadpool''': You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his ''real parent''! [[Heartwarming Moments|He needs someone who'll]] ''[[Heartwarming Moments|love]]'' [[Heartwarming Moments|him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the]] ''[[Heartwarming Moments|good]]'' [[Heartwarming Moments|porn! Someone like]] '''[[Heartwarming Moments|me]]'''!}}
* [[Kansas City Shuffle]]: My genius plan to get Norman Osborn to pay up after he stole one of my marks and ruined my rep. ''No one'' screws with my professional reputation.
* [[Kansas City Shuffle]]: My genius plan to get Norman Osborn to pay up after he stole one of my marks and ruined my rep. ''No one'' screws with my professional reputation.
* [[Katanas Are Just Better]]: Hell yes, they are!
* [[Katanas Are Just Better]]: Hell yes, they are!
* [[Kavorka Man]]... '''[[Chick Magnet|CHICK MAGNET:]]''' Aww hells yeah, you know it, ladies. [[Shape Shifter|Vanessa]], [[Yandere|Typhoid Mary]], [[Heroes Want Redheads|Siryn]], [[Betty and Veronica|Dr. Betty, Professor Veronica]],[[Distaff Counterpart|Lady Deadpool]], [[Most Common Superpower|Outlaw]], [[Naughty Tentacles|Morrigan]], [[Catgirl|Felicia]], and not to mention the [[Fan Girl|millions upon millions of others]], who have succumbed to my [[Dungeons and Dragons|25 Charisma stat]].
* [[Kavorka Man]]... '''[[Chick Magnet|CHICK MAGNET:]]''' Aww hells yeah, you know it, ladies. [[Shape Shifter|Vanessa]], [[Yandere|Typhoid Mary]], [[Heroes Want Redheads|Siryn]], [[Betty and Veronica|Dr. Betty, Professor Veronica]],[[Distaff Counterpart|Lady Deadpool]], [[Most Common Superpower|Outlaw]], [[Naughty Tentacles|Morrigan]], [[Catgirl|Felicia]], and not to mention the [[Fan Girl|millions upon millions of others]], who have succumbed to my [[Dungeons & Dragons|25 Charisma stat]].
** In my [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]] ending, I got to mac with most of the lovely ladies at my slammin' party after wasting Galactus's purple pimply ass! Until I accidentally wiped out Cleveland... whoops!
** In my [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]] ending, I got to mac with most of the lovely ladies at my slammin' party after wasting Galactus's purple pimply ass! Until I accidentally wiped out Cleveland... whoops!
* [[The Knights Who Say Squee]]: In one ''Deadpool Team-Up'' arc, I totally go fanboy over [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]]. Even when he's beating me up!
* [[Even Heroes Have Heroes]]: In one ''Deadpool Team-Up'' arc, I totally go fanboy over [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]]. Even when he's beating me up!
{{quote| '''Thor''': You will be punished for your crimes.<br />
{{quote|'''Thor''': You will be punished for your crimes.
'''Me''': [[Even the Guys Want Him|You're really pretty]].<br />
'''Me''': [[Even the Guys Want Him|You're really pretty]].<br />
''[[Beat]]''<br />
''[[Beat]]''<br />
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
** Also with [[Captain America]]!
** Also with [[Captain America (comics)]]!
* [[Lampshade Hanging]]: Oh, so often.
* [[Lampshade Hanging]]: Oh, so often.
* [[Large Ham]]: What do you mean I'm an overactor? [[I'm a Marvel And I'm a DC|Have you even heard my]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G39GgvCjTZs delightful singing], which somehow angers my buddy [[Watchmen|Rorschach]]?
* [[Large Ham]]: What do you mean I'm an overactor? [[I'm a Marvel And I'm a DC|Have you even heard my]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G39GgvCjTZs delightful singing], which somehow angers my buddy [[Watchmen (comics)|Rorschach]]?
* [[Lawyer-Friendly Cameo]]: A Superman/Batman special featured a snarky, motor-mouthed, katana-wielding, regenerating costumed super-hero (that's basically a [[Palette Swap]] of Deathstroke) "trying" to save the life of Bruce Wayne from a bunch of assassins. A [[Running Gag]] throughout the comic is that the "mysterious hero" keeps trying to say his name, but never manages to. Did I mention that [[My Real Daddy|Joe Kelly]] wrote this annual?
* [[Lawyer-Friendly Cameo]]: A Superman/Batman special featured a snarky, motor-mouthed, katana-wielding, regenerating costumed super-hero (that's basically a [[Palette Swap]] of Deathstroke) "trying" to save the life of Bruce Wayne from a bunch of assassins. A [[Running Gag]] throughout the comic is that the "mysterious hero" keeps trying to say his name, but never manages to. Did I mention that [[My Real Daddy|Joe Kelly]] wrote this annual?
* [[Leeroy Jenkins]]: [[Crowning Moment of Funny|F** k plans]]. I should've just run in and scream outta my lungs like, '''''"WAAAAADEEEE!!! WIIIILLLLSSOOOOONNNN!!!!!"'''''. Or maybe '''''"DEAAAADDDD!!! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!"'''''. Boy, I should've logged on to that server sometime.
* [[Leeroy Jenkins]]: [[Crowning Moment of Funny|F** k plans]]. I should've just run in and scream outta my lungs like, '''''"WAAAAADEEEE!!! WIIIILLLLSSOOOOONNNN!!!!!"'''''. Or maybe '''''"DEAAAADDDD!!! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!"'''''. Boy, I should've logged on to that server sometime.
* [[Let's Get Dangerous|Let's Get The ]][[Insistent Terminology|Doorknobs ]][[Let's Get Dangerous|and Unleash The Fricking Fury]]: I say with not an ounce of bragging that the best example is my showdown with Tiamat. I got so dangerous that I ''stopped talking''. Don't tell anyone, but I kinda scared myself when I thought about that.
* [[Let's Get Dangerous|Let's Get The]][[Insistent Terminology|Doorknobs]][[Let's Get Dangerous|and Unleash The Fricking Fury]]: I say with not an ounce of bragging that the best example is my showdown with Tiamat. I got so dangerous that I ''stopped talking''. Don't tell anyone, but I kinda scared myself when I thought about that.
* [[Lethal Joke Character]]: [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|You read that right kiddies]].
* [[Lethal Joke Character]]: [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|You read that right kiddies]].
* [[Likes Older Women]]: Oh Bea Arthur, my angel, my star, no man can love you like I do... I also have an on-off thing with [[Anthropomorphic Personification|Death]], but that's a bit more complicated. [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|Too bad both of them are together now]]... [[Girl-On-Girl Is Hot|or is it]]?
* [[Likes Older Women]]: Oh Bea Arthur, my angel, my star, no man can love you like I do... I also have an on-off thing with [[Anthropomorphic Personification|Death]], but that's a bit more complicated. [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|Too bad both of them are together now]]... [[Girl-On-Girl Is Hot|or is it]]?
* [[Loud of War]]: I once thought Cable was going to transmit an endless loop of the Backstreet Boys. When he found out, he almost [[Moral Event Horizon|did]]. Later, I did the same thing to Black Swan, [[Complete Monster|with country music. (I kill me)]]
* [[Loud of War]]: I once thought Cable was going to transmit an endless loop of the Backstreet Boys. When he found out, he almost [[Moral Event Horizon|did]]. Later, I did the same thing to Black Swan, [[Complete Monster|with country music. (I kill me)]]
* [[Major Injury Underreaction]]: I encounter a [[Femme Fatale|really pretty lady on the moon]]. [[It Makes Sense in Context|Just roll with it]].
* [[Major Injury Underreaction]]: I encounter a [[Femme Fatale|really pretty lady on the moon]]. [[It Makes Sense in Context|Just roll with it]].
{{quote| '''Me''': I'll be totally upfront here. I find you really attractive. Why don't we just put our differences aside and have some dinner? Family. House. Kids.<br />
{{quote|'''Me''': I'll be totally upfront here. I find you really attractive. Why don't we just put our differences aside and have some dinner? Family. House. Kids.
[[Nightmare Face|She opens her mouth in a manner that is NOT for man]]. [[Nightmare Fuel|And out comes what appear to be flesh eating locusts]]. That charge at me and presumably begin eating my flesh. I mean, who wouldn't?<br />
[[Nightmare Face|She opens her mouth in a manner that is NOT for man]]. [[Nightmare Fuel|And out comes what appear to be flesh eating locusts]]. That charge at me and presumably begin eating my flesh. I mean, who wouldn't?<br />
'''[[Gratuitous French|Moi]]''': [[Completely Missing the Point|You totally misunderstood my proposal]]. }}
'''[[Gratuitous French|Moi]]''': [[Completely Missing the Point|You totally misunderstood my proposal]]. }}
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]: In one issue of the recent Deadpool comics, I betray my employer and [[I'm a Humanitarian|feed him to his zombie capturers]] -- it makes sense in context -- while double-crossing the zombies too.
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]: In one issue of the recent Deadpool comics, I betray my employer and [[I'm a Humanitarian|feed him to his zombie capturers]]—it makes sense in context—while double-crossing the zombies too.
{{quote| '''Betrayed Zombie Dude''': You... betrayed us... you betrayed us all.<br />
{{quote|'''Betrayed Zombie Dude''': You... betrayed us... you betrayed us all.
'''Me''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Duh]]! ''-kicks zombie in the head-'' }}
'''Me''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Duh]]! ''-kicks zombie in the head-'' }}
** Also, in ''Deadpool #18'', I set up an elaborate gambit to make the X-Men look good. Which was not easy; emo, as you know, is so out. Seems like Way is shaping me up to be one...
** Also, in ''Deadpool #18'', I set up an elaborate gambit to make the X-Men look good. Which was not easy; emo, as you know, is so out. Seems like Way is shaping me up to be one...
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** Seriously, am I the only person in [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|that one fighting game]] who realized there was a screen, ''saw'' the health meter, or noticed the sucky guy with the controller? Jeez, man, why does he get to sit around and I have to do the work.
** Seriously, am I the only person in [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|that one fighting game]] who realized there was a screen, ''saw'' the health meter, or noticed the sucky guy with the controller? Jeez, man, why does he get to sit around and I have to do the work.
** I mean, except for [[She Hulk|that other 4th wall mutilating Marvel character]]? Seriously, [[Shout-Out|somebody should make her my new co-star instead of that smelly old cyborg]]! She's a fun-loving saint [[Perverse Sexual Lust|with tattered clothing and raging emotions, who can out-romance Tony Stark]]! I'm a fun-loving homicidal maniac who will hump [[Anything That Moves]]! [[Famous Last Words|What could go wrong]]? I'd even keep her busy with hundreds of legal cases to solve... 'cause that's just the kind of giving guy that I am. I can imagine her response now:
** I mean, except for [[She Hulk|that other 4th wall mutilating Marvel character]]? Seriously, [[Shout-Out|somebody should make her my new co-star instead of that smelly old cyborg]]! She's a fun-loving saint [[Perverse Sexual Lust|with tattered clothing and raging emotions, who can out-romance Tony Stark]]! I'm a fun-loving homicidal maniac who will hump [[Anything That Moves]]! [[Famous Last Words|What could go wrong]]? I'd even keep her busy with hundreds of legal cases to solve... 'cause that's just the kind of giving guy that I am. I can imagine her response now:
{{quote| '''[[She Hulk]]''': Here's a legally binding restraining order... oh, screw it. Biiig. Faaancy. Leetteer. Wiiith. Loooong. Faaancy. Wooords. Teelliing. Yooouu. Tooo. Staaay. Theee. #$%&. Awaayy. Froom. Meee. Now go away. I feel unclean just from being within a 10 mile radius of you.}}
{{quote|'''[[She Hulk]]''': Here's a legally binding restraining order... oh, screw it. Biiig. Faaancy. Leetteer. Wiiith. Loooong. Faaancy. Wooords. Teelliing. Yooouu. Tooo. Staaay. Theee. #$%&. Awaayy. Froom. Meee. Now go away. I feel unclean just from being within a 10 mile radius of you.}}
* [[Mind Screw]]: I pull off one hell of an example in my Marvel Knights mini-series ''Wade Wilson's War'', with it's ambiguous ending and all.
* [[Mind Screw]]: I pull off one hell of an example in my Marvel Knights mini-series ''Wade Wilson's War'', with it's ambiguous ending and all.
* [[Mix-and-Match Man]]: Me!
* [[Mix-and-Match Man]]: Me!
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** Hell, while we're at it, [[Running Gag|I'm finally an X-Man!]] Albeit a dirty, blackops X-Man in an X-Team that shouldn't even be made known of... [[The Greatest Story Never Told|STANDARD PROCEDURE!]]
** Hell, while we're at it, [[Running Gag|I'm finally an X-Man!]] Albeit a dirty, blackops X-Man in an X-Team that shouldn't even be made known of... [[The Greatest Story Never Told|STANDARD PROCEDURE!]]
* [[Name's the Same]]: So the last [[Dirty Harry]] movie was named after me... and was made years before I started showing up in comics. Weird.
* [[Name's the Same]]: So the last [[Dirty Harry]] movie was named after me... and was made years before I started showing up in comics. Weird.
* [[Naughty Tentacles]]: I, a hideously deformed, twisted, lecherous, perverted, and amoral deviant freak of nature in good standing, was [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZdQD2kEk4 flagrantly] [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|felt up]] by a [[All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles|sexy and nubile]] [[Really Seven Hundred Years Old|young]] [[Darkstalkers|Scottish woman]]! Is no [[Hentai|tradition]] [[Rule 34|sacred]] [[Just the Introduction to The Opposites|anymore]]?
* [[Naughty Tentacles]]: I, a hideously deformed, twisted, lecherous, perverted, and amoral deviant freak of nature in good standing, was [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZdQD2kEk4 flagrantly] [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|felt up]] by a [[All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles|sexy and nubile]] [[Really Seven Hundred Years Old|young]] [[Darkstalkers|Scottish woman]]! Is no [[Hentai|tradition]] [[Rule 34|sacred]] [[Just the Introduction to The Opposites|anymore]]?
** {{spoiler|Back when [[Alternate Reality]]!Cable was taken over by techno-organics}} and sprouted loads of shiny metal tentacles. When they were attracted by my overwhelming charisma, I, naturally, went from "ow! ow! hey -- that is incredibly personal space there -- ow!!!" to "okay--hey--okay--okay--[[Ho Yay|see, now I'm kinda liking it]]".
** {{spoiler|Back when [[Alternate Reality]]!Cable was taken over by techno-organics}} and sprouted loads of shiny metal tentacles. When they were attracted by my overwhelming charisma, I, naturally, went from "ow! ow! hey -- that is incredibly personal space there -- ow!!!" to "okay--hey--okay--okay--[[Ho Yay|see, now I'm kinda liking it]]".
** Also what is implied to happen in the ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' cinematic intro. Thank god that game is rated T, otherwise that huge comedy yell wouldn't have been acting. Honestly Morrigan, [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy|learn to aim!]]
** Also what is implied to happen in the ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' cinematic intro. Thank god that game is rated T, otherwise that huge comedy yell wouldn't have been acting. Honestly Morrigan, [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy|learn to aim!]]
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* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: I've faced a zombie version of me, become a pirate, and I technically dress up as a ninja. Three out of four ain't so bad... not! ''Now: to force [[Fantastic Four (Comic Book)|Reed Richards]] to make me a Robopool!''
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: I've faced a zombie version of me, become a pirate, and I technically dress up as a ninja. Three out of four ain't so bad... not! ''Now: to force [[Fantastic Four (Comic Book)|Reed Richards]] to make me a Robopool!''
* [[No Fourth Wall]]:
* [[No Fourth Wall]]:
{{quote| ''"Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What ''fun'' we shall have together."''}}
{{quote|''"Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What ''fun'' we shall have together."''}}
** In [[The Randomverse]], where the Fourth Wall is already in pieces, I broke it even harder. Everyone in the videos knows that we're comic book characters, but only ''I'' know I'm an action figure ''representing'' the character. And to break it [[Up to Eleven]], I begin, in my yellow thought bubbles, to complain about the poor animation quality, and wonder why the creators didn't use a better editing software. As if a simple action figure can capture my awesomeness!
** In [[The Randomverse]], where the Fourth Wall is already in pieces, I broke it even harder. Everyone in the videos knows that we're comic book characters, but only ''I'' know I'm an action figure ''representing'' the character. And to break it [[Up to Eleven]], I begin, in my yellow thought bubbles, to complain about the poor animation quality, and wonder why the creators didn't use a better editing software. As if a simple action figure can capture my awesomeness!
** It gets to the point were I'm the ''only one'' in the entire Marvel universe that knows about [[One More Day|Spider-Man's deal with Mephisto]]... er, besides Mephisto that is.
** It gets to the point were I'm the ''only one'' in the entire Marvel universe that knows about [[One More Day|Spider-Man's deal with Mephisto]]... er, besides Mephisto that is.
** And then there's me beating the snot out of people in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3 with my own health bar.
** And then there's me beating the snot out of people in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3 with my own health bar.
*** If only the players would bother learning my game breaking awesome combos instead of relying on X-Factor, the lazy bums!
*** If only the players would bother learning my game breaking awesome combos instead of relying on X-Factor, the lazy bums!
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** Although there was this one time, right after I escaped from a British Mental Institute, shortly before I ran into [[Evil Twin|Evil Deadpool]], where I saved a bunch of Third Worldies, of course I was just trying to take control of the ship so I could get back to dry land. I think I got a slightly warm fuzzy feeling when the only one who could speak English told me I was a good person. That's a start at least.
** Although there was this one time, right after I escaped from a British Mental Institute, shortly before I ran into [[Evil Twin|Evil Deadpool]], where I saved a bunch of Third Worldies, of course I was just trying to take control of the ship so I could get back to dry land. I think I got a slightly warm fuzzy feeling when the only one who could speak English told me I was a good person. That's a start at least.
** And I guess Nate did. A little.
** And I guess Nate did. A little.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: You'll never know my ultimate diss, a diss so potent it makes Marines weep and women lose function of their pancreas... Mamageddon.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: You'll never know my ultimate diss, a diss so potent it makes Marines weep and women lose function of their pancreas... Mamageddon.
** And we'll never know how I, Cable, and the Fixer ended up in St. Louis, fighting a villain who released a [[Squick|diarrhetic]] over Old Busch Stadium during a Cardinals game (though I thought that was just the fifty franks he ate).
** And we'll never know how I, Cable, and the Fixer ended up in St. Louis, fighting a villain who released a [[Squick|diarrhetic]] over Old Busch Stadium during a Cardinals game (though I thought that was just the fifty franks he ate).
* [[Noodle Implements]]: In ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance|Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2]]'', I suggest that Nick Fury give me {{spoiler|a poodle, a bullhorn and four nuns}} in order to distract Marvel's [[Captain America|not-so-subtle]] [[Iron Man|lovers]].
* [[Noodle Implements]]: In ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance|Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2]]'', I suggest that Nick Fury give me {{spoiler|a poodle, a bullhorn and four nuns}} in order to distract Marvel's [[Captain America (comics)|not-so-subtle]] [[Iron Man|lovers]].
* [[Not So Different]]: I can't believe that those [[Capcom]] guys honestly think that [[Devil May Cry|some wussy named Dante]] [[Marvel vs. Capcom|could go toe-to-toe with me]]! There's only ''one'' gunslinging, sword-wielding, snarky crimson-clad mercenary in this game, and it's definitely not [[Dante's Inferno (video game)|some emo with a cross tatoo and a scythe]]! Wait, you say I'm confusing characters now?
* [[Not So Different]]: I can't believe that those [[Capcom]] guys honestly think that [[Devil May Cry|some wussy named Dante]] [[Marvel vs. Capcom|could go toe-to-toe with me]]! There's only ''one'' gunslinging, sword-wielding, snarky crimson-clad mercenary in this game, and it's definitely not [[Dante's Inferno (video game)|some emo with a cross tatoo and a scythe]]! Wait, you say I'm confusing characters now?
** While different people have different opinions, personally I think they could have settled in for that [[Street Fighter Alpha|Dan]] guy, I mean he's a rip off of [[Art of Fighting|two characters]] of a [[SNK|rival company]] that ripped Capcom off kinda like what I am, but the only difference between me and him is that I break the 4th wall, while his fighting style sucks that's ironically named ''"Saikyo"'' (That means "The Greatest" in moon words people).
** While different people have different opinions, personally I think they could have settled in for that [[Street Fighter Alpha|Dan]] guy, I mean he's a rip off of [[Art of Fighting|two characters]] of a [[SNK|rival company]] that ripped Capcom off kinda like what I am, but the only difference between me and him is that I break the 4th wall, while his fighting style sucks that's ironically named ''"Saikyo"'' (That means "The Greatest" in moon words people).
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** This is also Peter Milligan's interpretation of me in ''5 Ronin''.
** This is also Peter Milligan's interpretation of me in ''5 Ronin''.
* [[Odd Friendship]]: With Cable. And most of my friends, really.
* [[Odd Friendship]]: With Cable. And most of my friends, really.
{{quote| '''Cable''': And Wade, of course. [[Oh Crap|Our fates seem to be intertwined]]. [[Deadpan Snarker|God help me]].}}
{{quote|'''Cable''': And Wade, of course. [[Oh Crap|Our fates seem to be intertwined]]. [[Deadpan Snarker|God help me]].}}
** Man, he can be such a dick sometimes. It really suits him.
** Man, he can be such a dick sometimes. It really suits him.
* [[Only Sane Man]]: You know, everyone calls me crazy, and they might have a point; on the other hand, none of them realise they are actually comic book characters, so who is ''really'' the crazy one?
* [[Only Sane Man]]: You know, everyone calls me crazy, and they might have a point; on the other hand, none of them realise they are actually comic book characters, so who is ''really'' the crazy one?
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* [[Rule of Funny]]: [[Chaotic Neutral|Rules aren't usually my thing]], but I like this one.
* [[Rule of Funny]]: [[Chaotic Neutral|Rules aren't usually my thing]], but I like this one.
* [[Running Gag]]
* [[Running Gag]]
{{quote| You're not a mutant! ...and you're not an X-Man!}}
{{quote|You're not a mutant! ...and you're not an X-Man!}}
* [[Shapeshifting Squick]]: Ah [http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/thumb/b/b3/Copycat233.jpg/200px-Copycat233.jpg Vanessa], the great love of my life and best thing that ever happened to me; always seeing me as her [[Knight in Shining Armour]] after I rescued her from slavery, prostitution, and various assassins; always appreciating my awesome sense of humour; [[Stalker with a Crush|always knowing that the proper way to a man's heart is through seduction as random drop-dead gorgeous bombshells]]; [[All Men Are Perverts|always willing to fulfill my fantasies in ways that would let me blackmail every superheroine on the planet, if I could find wherever I put the pictures]]; always too [[Girls Need Role Models|politically incorrect]] to be allowed to exist, or the writers get beaten by their wives; taken from us far too soon... in a [http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/378/523291-deadpool05922wj6_super.jpg way that totally didn't make any sense], since she can [[Meaningful Name|copycat]] abilities like healing factors, and [http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20061110144114/marveldatabase/images/thumb/b/be/Copycat_(Vanessa_Carlysle)_Deadpool-TheCircleChase(20).jpg/200px-Copycat_(Vanessa_Carlysle)_Deadpool-TheCircleChase(20).jpg I saved her from exactly this type of damage before]. Remind me to go desecrate that <anatomically impossible explicitive deleted> [[I'm a Humanitarian|Sabretooth's]] grave by selling his [[Off with His Head|carcass]] as dog food. [[Calling the Old Man Out|Oh, and Tieri]]! [[Old Shame|Since you wrote it before you became a rock star]], better make up [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|all the lost nookie]] to me by making me super-ultra-special-with-cookies-on-top-uber-pwnage-awesome in [[Capcom vs. Whatever|that whatevah game]] [[Sarcasm Mode|you never bother to market]]!
* [[Shapeshifting Squick]]: Ah [https://web.archive.org/web/20140913144920/http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/thumb/b/b3/Copycat233.jpg/200px-Copycat233.jpg Vanessa], the great love of my life and best thing that ever happened to me; always seeing me as her [[Knight in Shining Armour]] after I rescued her from slavery, prostitution, and various assassins; always appreciating my awesome sense of humour; [[Stalker with a Crush|always knowing that the proper way to a man's heart is through seduction as random drop-dead gorgeous bombshells]]; [[All Men Are Perverts|always willing to fulfill my fantasies in ways that would let me blackmail every superheroine on the planet, if I could find wherever I put the pictures]]; always too [[Girls Need Role Models|politically incorrect]] to be allowed to exist, or the writers get beaten by their wives; taken from us far too soon... in a [http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/378/523291-deadpool05922wj6_super.jpg way that totally didn't make any sense]{{Dead link}}, since she can [[Meaningful Name|copycat]] abilities like healing factors, and [https://web.archive.org/web/20131022075742/http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20061110144114/marveldatabase/images/thumb/b/be/Copycat_%28Vanessa_Carlysle%29_Deadpool-TheCircleChase%2820%29.jpg/200px-Copycat_%28Vanessa_Carlysle%29_Deadpool-TheCircleChase%2820%29.jpg I saved her from exactly this type of damage before]. Remind me to go desecrate that <anatomically impossible explicitive deleted> [[I'm a Humanitarian|Sabretooth's]] grave by selling his [[Off with His Head|carcass]] as dog food. [[Calling the Old Man Out|Oh, and Tieri]]! [[Old Shame|Since you wrote it before you became a rock star]], better make up [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|all the lost nookie]] to me by making me super-ultra-special-with-cookies-on-top-uber-pwnage-awesome in [[Capcom vs. Whatever|that whatevah game]] [[Sarcasm Mode|you never bother to market]]!
* [[The Scrappy]]: In-universe, folks! Most people can't stand to be around me.
* [[The Scrappy]]: In-universe, folks! Most people can't stand to be around me.
* [[Sidekick]]: Bob, hapless, captured [[Mook|agent]] of HYDRA!
* [[Sidekick]]: Bob, hapless, captured [[Mook|agent]] of HYDRA!
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* [[Hit Me Dammit|Snikt Me, Dammit!]]: I spent the better part of an issue trying to get [[Wolverine]] to stab me. But he was being a wuss, so I [[Street Fighter|Shoryuken'd]] Kitty Pryde instead. That worked.
* [[Hit Me Dammit|Snikt Me, Dammit!]]: I spent the better part of an issue trying to get [[Wolverine]] to stab me. But he was being a wuss, so I [[Street Fighter|Shoryuken'd]] Kitty Pryde instead. That worked.
** Also, for me to unleash the fury of [[Power Level|my Level 3 special]] in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3, people have to hit me whilst I am doing a [[Sexy Walk]].
** Also, for me to unleash the fury of [[Power Level|my Level 3 special]] in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3, people have to hit me whilst I am doing a [[Sexy Walk]].
* [[Super Speed]]: Okay, so maybe it isn't one of my [[No Fourth Wall|official powers]], but it darn well oughta be. I mean, I can outrun a friggin' ''[http://i082.radikal.ru/0909/d5/77f59eab6e86.jpg jetliner]'' fer Bea Arthur's sake!
* [[Super Speed]]: Okay, so maybe it isn't one of my [[No Fourth Wall|official powers]], but it darn well oughta be. I mean, I can outrun a friggin' ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20100706002009/http://i082.radikal.ru/0909/d5/77f59eab6e86.jpg jetliner]'' fer Bea Arthur's sake!
* [[The Starscream]]: Occasionally Weasel.
* [[The Starscream]]: Occasionally Weasel.
* [[Stalker with a Crush]]: Dr. Ella Whitby, she's obsessed with me and she even has a fridge full of all the body parts i've lost over the years. She's creepy, even by my standards.
* [[Stalker with a Crush]]: Dr. Ella Whitby, she's obsessed with me and she even has a fridge full of all the body parts i've lost over the years. She's creepy, even by my standards.
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* [[Talking Is a Free Action]]: Natch. My lung capacity cannot be matched. [[The Chick|Domino]] notes my endless, inane banter is actually my most dangerous ability, since most opponents are too distracted to pay attention to my moves. Just... as... plotted.
* [[Talking Is a Free Action]]: Natch. My lung capacity cannot be matched. [[The Chick|Domino]] notes my endless, inane banter is actually my most dangerous ability, since most opponents are too distracted to pay attention to my moves. Just... as... plotted.
* [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]]: In the early days of Cable and Deadpool, Cable handed one to me. He can be so hurtful sometimes. But while he could tear me apart on the molecular level by blinking, [[Shut UP, Hannibal|he doesn't hold a candle to me when it comes to wordslingin']].
* [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]]: In the early days of Cable and Deadpool, Cable handed one to me. He can be so hurtful sometimes. But while he could tear me apart on the molecular level by blinking, [[Shut UP, Hannibal|he doesn't hold a candle to me when it comes to wordslingin']].
* [[The Scream]]: I love screaming, and I'll never miss the chance for one. Especially [[Screams Like a Little Girl|like a little girl!]] Here, listen on this one I recorded in tape when I met Sabretooth...
* [[The Scream]]: I love screaming, and I'll never miss the chance for one. Especially [[Screams Like a Little Girl|like a little girl!]] Here, listen on this one I recorded in tape when I met Sabretooth...
{{quote| '''Sabretooth''': Scream for me.<br />
{{quote|'''Sabretooth''': Scream for me.
'''Me''': Scream? Well, if you insist. AAAAAHHH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AAAAAHHH AAAAAHHH<br />
'''Me''': Scream? Well, if you insist. AAAAAHHH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AAAAAHHH AAAAAHHH
'''Sabretooth''': Enough, Wilson.<br />
'''Sabretooth''': Enough, Wilson.
'''Me''': No wait -- Now I'll do it like a little girl: eeek! eeek! eeek! }}
'''Me''': No wait -- Now I'll do it like a little girl: eeek! eeek! eeek! }}
* [[Stupid Sexy Flanders|Stupid Sexy Cable]], [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]], [[Phantom Thief|The Cat]], [[Captain America]][[Overly Long Gag|...]]
* [[Stupid Sexy Flanders|Stupid Sexy Cable]], [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]], [[Phantom Thief|The Cat]], [[Captain America (comics)]][[Overly Long Gag|...]]
{{quote| '''Thor''': You will be handed over to the authorities. Imprisonment shall be yours. The fate of a thief.<br />
{{quote|'''Thor''': You will be handed over to the authorities. Imprisonment shall be yours. The fate of a thief.
'''Me''': I REALLY FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE!<br />
'''Me''': I REALLY FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE!
'''Thor''': ...<br />
'''Thor''': ...
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
* [[Take Our Word for It]]: In a recent issue, I was hired to kill a man by an old girlfriend whom he spread a rumor about. The rumor is so terrible, even [[Complete Monster|Bullseye]] wanted the guy dead.
* [[Take Our Word for It]]: In a recent issue, I was hired to kill a man by an old girlfriend whom he spread a rumor about. The rumor is so terrible, even [[Complete Monster|Bullseye]] wanted the guy dead.
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* [[This Is Sparta]]!: Must... use... [[Star Trek|Shatner]]... voice... to... reach... STATUE!!!
* [[This Is Sparta]]!: Must... use... [[Star Trek|Shatner]]... voice... to... reach... STATUE!!!
* [[Too Kinky to Torture]]: Once, while on a job for X-Force, I was caught by Apocalypse's goons who then proceeded to tie me up just so I could regale them with a my stunning rendition of Miami Sound Machine's ''Conga''.
* [[Too Kinky to Torture]]: Once, while on a job for X-Force, I was caught by Apocalypse's goons who then proceeded to tie me up just so I could regale them with a my stunning rendition of Miami Sound Machine's ''Conga''.
* [[Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth]]: Galactus fired me because I was just too ''awesome'' for him to handle. It's [[Blatant Lies|definitely not]] because he wanted me to [[Motor Mouth|shut up]].
* [[Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth]]: Galactus fired me because I was just too ''awesome'' for him to handle. It's [[Blatant Lies|definitely not]] because he wanted me to [[Motor Mouth|shut up]].
** Then there was the time I was captured to be zombiefood. I tasted like cancer.
** Then there was the time I was captured to be zombiefood. I tasted like cancer.
* [[Trickster Archetype]]
* [[Trickster Archetype]]
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* [[What Could Have Been]]: I nearly was ''left out'' of ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' because some moron "accidentally" put me on the "no go" list. If it wasn't for the attention of the other people outside of that single moron, I wouldn't be hitting people with my life bar left and right. Now, to go find that idiot...
* [[What Could Have Been]]: I nearly was ''left out'' of ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' because some moron "accidentally" put me on the "no go" list. If it wasn't for the attention of the other people outside of that single moron, I wouldn't be hitting people with my life bar left and right. Now, to go find that idiot...
* [[Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?]]: I call the Punisher out on it during Suicide Kings. Since, you know, the previous day he tried to strangle me and electrocute my ass... with ''mecha-frickin'-tentacles''.
* [[Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?]]: I call the Punisher out on it during Suicide Kings. Since, you know, the previous day he tried to strangle me and electrocute my ass... with ''mecha-frickin'-tentacles''.
{{quote| '''Me''': What you got today, Punisher. The Beetle's wings? Plant-Man's chloro-blaster gun? One of the Porcupine's quills?}}
{{quote|'''Me''': What you got today, Punisher. The Beetle's wings? Plant-Man's chloro-blaster gun? One of the Porcupine's quills?}}
* [[Who Wants to Live Forever?]]: Turns out to be what I've been obsessing about in the Daniel Way arc.
* [[Who Wants to Live Forever?]]: Turns out to be what I've been obsessing about in the Daniel Way arc.
* [[Wild Card]]: Of course. I mean, that's pretty much half my reason for livin'.
* [[Wild Card]]: Of course. I mean, that's pretty much half my reason for livin'.
* [[Wolverine Publicity]]: To put it simply, starting in 2008, I've pretty much kicked good ol' Wolverine off his title as Marvel's Poster Child.
* [[Wolverine Publicity]]: To put it simply, starting in 2008, I've pretty much kicked good ol' Wolverine off his title as Marvel's Poster Child.
** Just because this has to be on the Internet somewhere: The Poster Child succession has been thus -- Captain America (1940s/50s) < The Fantastic Four (1960s) < Spider-Man (1970s) < Wolverine (1980s/90s) < Deadpool (current)
** Just because this has to be on the Internet somewhere: The Poster Child succession has been thus—Captain America (1940s/50s) < The Fantastic Four (1960s) < Spider-Man (1970s) < Wolverine (1980s/90s) < Deadpool (current)
*** Interestingly, this corresponds to [[The Golden Age of Comic Books]], [[The Silver Age of Comic Books]], [[The Bronze Age of Comic Books]], [[The Dark Age of Comic Books]], and [[The Modern Age of Comic Books]].
*** Interestingly, this corresponds to [[The Golden Age of Comic Books]], [[The Silver Age of Comic Books]], [[The Bronze Age of Comic Books]], [[The Dark Age of Comic Books]], and [[The Modern Age of Comic Books]].
*** However, Wolverine still hasn't fully left the spot and [[The Hood]] is also trying to claim the position, not to mention Anti-Venom... yeah. It's like the pro wrestlers say: the belt might as well be a target.
*** However, Wolverine still hasn't fully left the spot and [[The Hood]] is also trying to claim the position, not to mention Anti-Venom... yeah. It's like the pro wrestlers say: the belt might as well be a target.
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: Hey ladies, you want equality right? Guess what, I'm all for it. Shadowcat will tell you just how much I support feminism!
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: Hey ladies, you want equality right? Guess what, I'm all for it. Shadowcat will tell you just how much I support feminism!
** Glad to see that you're all suggesting her as DLC in "Marvel Vs Capcom 3". I'll let her know about it the next time I see her, probably before I knock her unconscious.
** Glad to see that you're all suggesting her as DLC in "Marvel Vs Capcom 3". I'll let her know about it the next time I see her, probably before I knock her unconscious.
* [[Indy Ploy]] or [[Xanatos Roulette]]: So get this: I was attacking a ship of Skrulls and Super Skrulls, then offered 'em my services, then got captured, tortured, cloned for Super Deadpool Skrulls, then convinced the scientist to let me train the Deadpool Skrulls so they can kill all the other Skrulls on the ship. Knowing that the Deadpool Skrulls were all doomed because they [[Irony|they don't have cancer]], I could then steal the information. None of this was {{spoiler|Nick Fury}}'s plan, but damn it was fun.
* [[Indy Ploy]] or [[Xanatos Roulette]]: So get this: I was attacking a ship of Skrulls and Super Skrulls, then offered 'em my services, then got captured, tortured, cloned for Super Deadpool Skrulls, then convinced the scientist to let me train the Deadpool Skrulls so they can kill all the other Skrulls on the ship. Knowing that the Deadpool Skrulls were all doomed because they [[Irony|they don't have cancer]], I could then steal the information. None of this was {{spoiler|Nick Fury}}'s plan, but damn it was fun.
* [[Xanatos Gambit]]: "X Marks the Spot", looking to do somethin' heroic, I convinced Cyke to allow me into the X-Men as a probationary member, then went and "attempted" to kill the guy who was all over TV saying the X-Men were keeping his daughter hostage (while wearing the X-Men uniform I made myself), failed, tried again, resulting in the X-Men showing up to take me out. There, Wolverine grabbed the camera guy to film the X-Men saving The Asshole from Deadpool, including Cyclops saying I wasn't an X-Man, the little Indian giver (that was offensive to our native peoples and I apologize). Immediately after the camera stopped rolling, Wolvie, who ain't as dumb as he looks, revealed that he figured out I had set the entire thing up myself, all to put the X-Men back in good standing with the American Public ''and'' to get The Asshole to reveal that Osborn had paid him off to claim the X-Men had kidnapped his daughter. I called it... Operation Moves, and I did it to make X-Men realize how wrong they were for denying me entry into their ranks the ''first'' time. And to make Cyclops admit that yes, I did have some pretty good moves. Apparently, if I put this amount of thought into everything I did, I'd probably rule the world. (Though who can say for sure that I haven't and don't?)
* [[Xanatos Gambit]]: "X Marks the Spot", looking to do somethin' heroic, I convinced Cyke to allow me into the X-Men as a probationary member, then went and "attempted" to kill the guy who was all over TV saying the X-Men were keeping his daughter hostage (while wearing the X-Men uniform I made myself), failed, tried again, resulting in the X-Men showing up to take me out. There, Wolverine grabbed the camera guy to film the X-Men saving The Asshole from Deadpool, including Cyclops saying I wasn't an X-Man, the little Indian giver (that was offensive to our native peoples and I apologize). Immediately after the camera stopped rolling, Wolvie, who ain't as dumb as he looks, revealed that he figured out I had set the entire thing up myself, all to put the X-Men back in good standing with the American Public ''and'' to get The Asshole to reveal that Osborn had paid him off to claim the X-Men had kidnapped his daughter. I called it... Operation Moves, and I did it to make X-Men realize how wrong they were for denying me entry into their ranks the ''first'' time. And to make Cyclops admit that yes, I did have some pretty good moves. Apparently, if I put this amount of thought into everything I did, I'd probably rule the world. (Though who can say for sure that I haven't and don't?)
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* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: Parodiedeth when I briefly taketh possession of a faketh copy of [[Thor|thout viking guy's]] hammer and change thost speech patterns accordinglyst.
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: Parodiedeth when I briefly taketh possession of a faketh copy of [[Thor|thout viking guy's]] hammer and change thost speech patterns accordinglyst.
** Combinedth with [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]], as mine exploits with thine "hammer" involve ordering ye olde disproportionately hugeth amount of foode from Tacoe Belle, using thine hammer as a baseballe bat in thost majore league game (I ''still'' striketh oute), and attacking a [[Michael Jackson]] [[Captain Ersatz]]. Eth.
** Combinedth with [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]], as mine exploits with thine "hammer" involve ordering ye olde disproportionately hugeth amount of foode from Tacoe Belle, using thine hammer as a baseballe bat in thost majore league game (I ''still'' striketh oute), and attacking a [[Michael Jackson]] [[Captain Ersatz]]. Eth.
{{quote| '''Me''': AND GET THEE A LIFE!}}
{{quote|'''Me''': AND GET THEE A LIFE!}}
* [[You Bastard]]: In Deadpool #900. I realize that {{spoiler|[[Popularity Power|I would never really die because the fans like me too much]]. So I decide to [[Kill'Em All|kill all my fans]]}}. [[Ensemble Darkhorse|I didn't realize how hard that would be]].
* [[You Bastard]]: In Deadpool #900. I realize that {{spoiler|[[Popularity Power|I would never really die because the fans like me too much]]. So I decide to [[Kill'Em All|kill all my fans]]}}. [[Ensemble Darkhorse|I didn't realize how hard that would be]].
* [[Your Head Asplode]]: Nate did this to me with his uber psychic powers. Twice. I was not amused.
* [[Your Head Asplode]]: Nate did this to me with his uber psychic powers. Twice. I was not amused.
* [[Your Mom]]: Again, Mamageddon, my ultimate diss!
* [[Your Mom]]: Again, Mamageddon, my ultimate diss!
----
----
{{quote| Well, I've got to go. There's a killer itch on my butt that needs a scratchin' and my microwaved burritos are almost done. Browse the indexes for me and I'll promise we'll fight some ninjas or some other crap later. See ya!}}
{{quote|Well, I've got to go. There's a killer itch on my butt that needs a scratchin' and my microwaved burritos are almost done. Browse the indexes for me and I'll promise we'll fight some ninjas or some other crap later. See ya!}}


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[[Category:Just for Fun]]
[[Category:Just for Fun]]
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[[Category:Deadpool]]
[[Category:Self Demonstrating]]
[[Category:Self Demonstrating]]
[[Category:Self-Demonstrating Article]]
[[Category:Self-Demonstrating Article]]
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Latest revision as of 06:10, 14 March 2022


Check me out, Spidey ain't got nuthin' on me! ... Whoops.
"Yay, now isfightytime,fightytime, blood bloodblood!"
—Me, giving a lecture on the deep philosophical ramifications of what I represent to the collective subconscious in relation to a post-information age society... after I Shoryuken'd Kitty Pryde so Wolverine would fight me!

Heya, true believing Troper! This is me, Deadpool, aka The Merc with the Mouth, The Regenerating Degenerate, and The Crimson Comedian. I'm a Marvel Comics mercenary Anti-Hero character, related to the X-Men and Wolverine in particular. I appeared in print for the first time in New Mutants #98 (February, 1991) as a ripoff of DC mercenary Deathstroke the Terminator, but Deathstroke himself was a rip-off of Taskmaster! So score Marvel! But that's old news. I'm all-new, I'm all-different, and boy does that feel good!

I appear in many different comics in the Marvel Universe. Besides my own series—which I'm pretty sure came with foil alt-covers and a collector card—the biggest mutie badasses they've got are lining up to team with the dude who went toe-to-toe with the Incredible Hulk and came out in one piece. Yep, that's me! I can beat anyone! Well... except that #$@#%#$%$ Squirrel Girl. She kicked the mucus out of me constantly. But hey, that's OK! She did that to everybody. Truly, she's the single greatest threat to the multiverse. Well, except maybe Galactus[1]... and clowns. Never forget clowns.

As you're probably noticing just about now, I loooooove to talk. Yes, it's my most valuable asset: the lungs to provide endless witty banter in the heat of battle! In fact, everybody loves to hear me talk!

OK, I know what you're asking yourself: "How could a single -- albeit snappily-suited -- mercenary become so incredibly awesome in so many ways?" Oh, gather 'round, kiddies, this is gonna be good. See, my first big splash was hunting down and killing every single one of the Interweb feebs that thought it would be hilarious to star me in a "Ninja Spider-Man" meme. Caption this, suckers! On the other hand, my own memetic monologues led to me becoming THE BEST SUPERHERO EVER. That and the fact that I always talk to my loyal (but still weaker) fans. Like now, for instance. You lucky, lucky nerds!

Yes, yes, I'm getting to that: "How could a dweebish square like Wade Wilson ever become the sexiest mercenary alive?" Tricky question. Best I remember is some nice ice-cream salesmen told me they could fix my terminal cancer by injecting me with Wolverine's man-juice (and by that I mean his DNA. Perv). Suddenly... -insert Dramatic Fanfare here- No, wait, let's go with that old Six Million Dollar Man thing instead. Yeah, I like that better. Bip-bip-bip-bip-BIP... I became better, faster, strongerer and even got the ability to heal quickly, so that whenever the cancer shows up it instantly gets fixed... which is good, because it keeps showing up. As in instantly after it gets fixed. Yeah, you ladies knew it, right? I am just. That. Charming.

Anyhoo, after a few zillion rounds of this, I became so goddamn handsome that my brain exploded. Eventually, my magical insanity powers allowed me to figure out that I'm a comic book character. From then on, I became BFFs with my thought bubbles, exposition panels, and Stan Lee. My fellow Weapon X classmates had run a pool to figure out which one of us would be dead first, so I naturally named myself Dr. Professor Carlos Winston Lazarus McBatman. Then I realized that I couldn't spell it, so I went with Deadpool instead.

Anyway, so you wanna know my fighting style, huh? Why, being absolutely rassum frassum crazy is my fighting style, kiddies! Don't Try This At Home! Wait... y'know what, go ahead, makes my job easier in the long run. Guns, explosives, guns, my trusty katana, guns, guns, anything I find on the ground, doorknobs, guns, and firearms are all ways I kill people. That is, of course, on the rare occasions my razor-sharp wit hasn't caused them to crumple into sobbing balls of surrender long before that. My good buddy Weasel also provides me with shiny new gadgets that help to kill more, so I can use any power I want.

Also, you better never mistake me for that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown who sided with those DC fellas. You know how many of my stupid Facebook friends ask me to "do that pencil trick"? EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Lots of comics feature my unique uniqueness

  • New Mutants: Where I first appeared as a Deathstroke ripoff. Then I started popping up in X-Force once the title switched over to something that was Darker and Edgier.
    • I'm also added to the new X-Force roster after the whole "SECOND COMING" debacle. I hope Cyclops doesn't read this wiki, since it's supposed to be a secret! SHHHHH!
  • Five miniseries, Deadpool: The Circle Chase, Deadpool: Sins of the Past, Deadpool: Suicide Kings, Deadpool Wade Wilsons War and Fear Itself: Deadpool (written by holycrap Chris Hastings!!!).
  • My ongoing Deadpool series: The first incarnation appeared from 1997 to 2002; the second volume began September 10, 2008.
  • Agent X: How is Agent X related to me? It's a mystery!
  • Cable and Deadpool: After Cable went bye-bye, I had to find some new apprentices to fill the hole in my heart.
  • Wolverine & Deadpool: Only available if you can get scones with it.
  • Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth: A second ongoing series which began in 2009.
  • Deadpool Team-up: A third on-going monthly, also starting in 2009. I'm gonna suck every dime outta this inexplicable and totally undeserved popularity until my lips fall off.
  • Deadpool Corps: Which features me and Lady Deadpool, Headpool, Kidpool and Dogpool as my amigos. Me and Lady Deadpool have a thing going on. I'm saying that I screw myself.
  • I also drop by in that "DOOMWAR" Black Panther event. Apparently, my unscrupulous mercenary nature, healing factor and screwed-up-mind are needed to stopping that crazy Von Doom. What can I say, they need me. And the paycheck is HUGE. And I also have hot girls backing me up. BEST. JOB. EVER.
  • There's also this Deadpool: Pulp thing going on, which is like the Noir line of Marvel, except instead of the 30s it's the 50s! Looks nifty so far, Government Conspiracy, me up against a Femme Fatale (they picked Outlaw, not bad if you get what I mean). and with the backdrop of COMMUNIST PARANOIA!
  • I drop by this 5 RONIN March 2011 event, engaged in a heartwarming tale of five samurai being wronged by a particularly nasty daimyo. I'm focused in the fifth issue, of course they save the best for last.

My incredible awesomeness allows me to also transcend print media

Some of the many beautiful tropes that describe me include

Yours Truly: Missed? I never miss with the sheep gun.

Me: Astute observation, Captain Obvious.

Me: Wait, did I just diss myself?

Me: And this just surprises you right now? I mean, me?

  • Blessed with Suck: I'm a living cancer! Of course I would enjoy the sweet smell of Death... in more ways than one.
  • Blood Knight: I love fighting and killing.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: I can be very heroic and friendly when I want to be. But blowing people up is just so much fun! You can see my dilemma.
  • Body Horror: In the beginning of the Deadpool and his much less badass (but still vaguely attractive) sidekick Cable series, we both get infected with some kind of virus thingamajig that overrides said sidekick's techno-organic virus and my healing factor and nearly melts us, and the only way we can stop it is by Cable giving me some of his blood and vice versa (yuck. Luckily we did not haveta kiss as I initially feared). I end up turned into Wade-juice before I can get to Nate, though, so he uses his telekinetic powers to absorb me into his body and then throws me up (remember when I said yuck three sentences ago? Strike that. This is yuck-worthy).
    • The whole gig gets even more disgusting, because from that point on, whenever Nate tries to teleport, his teleporting whatzamacallit recognizes us as one person and fuses our bodies together at arrival. He finds a way to fix things, though.
  • Breakout Character: I may have started small, but it's scientifically proven that I am the most greatest Marvel character of all time.

Wrecker: Buncha minor league wannabes, yer kidding right?
Me: Wannabes?
My Thought Box: Yeah, we got two books out right now.
My Other Thought Box: And another one coming out next month.

    • I * steal* Marvel Ultimate Alliance. After all, I refer to my team as "Deadpool and his Cronies". During the closing credits of the sequel I argue with the developer over not being powerful enough and the game not being called "Deadpool And His Inferior Friends". Then he goes ahead and nerfs me and even has the nerve to threaten me by making me DLC! What an ass!!!
  • Buddy Cop Show: There was this time I got stuck with this guy Cable. He was a straight-laced stickler for protocol, and me an unpredictable loose cannon with several cannons of my own.
  • Bunny Ears Lawyer: I mentioned the whole "batshit-crazy and immortal badass" thing right?
  • But Thou Must!: After the whole "I Screw Weasel" arc, some Vegas Executives wanted me to be an enforcer full time... but I begged to differ.
  • Butter Face: Nice, saliently muscled body (under the spandex anyway) but the face is... not that attractive to say the least.
  • Captain Ersatz: Yeah, hate to admit it, but I started out as a ripoff of that Deathstroke guy from Teen Titans. You can see it in the costumes, the jobs, hell, even the names! As a tribute, Joe Kelly managed to sneak me into The DCU as the Earth-3 version of him. Also, I happened to meet the guy I was doppelganging during a Marvel/DC crossover.
    • In Deathstroke's own early 90s book there was a "long lost half-brother" named "Wade Le Farge", who showed up wanting to become Deathstroke, and take away everything that belonged to him in gruesomely irrational fashion. Although I borrowed almost as heavily from that crazy-but-not-as-crazy-as-me-in-the-slightest clown and Spidey.
    • Also BILL! AGENT OF A.I.M.!
  • Career Killer: Obviously. But the D-Man is the best at what he does, and what he does depends on how much money you can pay up front.
  • Catgirl: Not me, but I do have my eyes set on one in MvC3...

Felicia: "For the last time, I don't care how much catnip you have! I'm NOT getting in your car with you!" (Me: "Awww... but why not?")

  • Chekhov's Gun: Daniel Way loves to write these in my stories. In one story, I had Chekhov's Exploding Chair, Chekhov's Buttloads of Cash, and Chekhov's Russian Nuclear Submarine... or is that Chekhov's Nuclear Wessel?
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Oh sure Way, bring some other regenerating mercenaries who also attempt to make wisecracks. I'm soooooooooooooooo sure they won't be relevant in the future!
  • Close on Title: In an issue where my eardrums get destroyed by an explosion, and then I end up fighting magical mimes, there are no words at all till the last page, and the punny title, Silent But Deadly, is the very last thing of all.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Sometimes I think I'm a character in a story that's written by someone. Oh wait... I am.
  • Confusion Fu: My legendary fighting style, key in my victory against Taskmaster.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: During a climactic battle with a highly cultured German douchebag assassin known as the Black Swan, I invade the guy's home, give his guards some bad cases of dead, destroy large sections of surrounding forest, deface art that's worth millions of dollars and do everything possible to get the guy to fight me. Then when I start singing country and western songs over the PA system...

Black Swan: "He dies! He dies SCREAMING!!!"

"I just drone on and on. Sometimes I just don't know when to shut up. And that's why I have to kill you . . . so I can pay my phone bill!"

    • In one issue, I was snatched by a Death Trap enthusiast. I was chained down underneath a giant teddy bear (just go with it), which descends lower every time I spoke and will eventually smother me. I had to break my own limbs to get out just 'cause I wouldn't shut up.
      • At least, the bear was originally going to smother me, but because of my constant blathering, as Deathtrap put it:

Deathtrap: Fascinating! Teddy has approached ramming speed.

Me: Anyway, he built this funky harness for when--
Mr. Sinister: Wash your hands.

  • Defictionalization: No, not a product I sold or anything like that. ME. I escaped the comic book world, you guys! Let's see Wolverine do THAT! And they say HE's the best!
  • Depending on the Writer: Eventually even me and T-Ray stopped caring about who really was Wade Wilson, so we just accepted that it depended on the writer.
  • Depending on the Artist: My stunning mug has ranged from "slightly bad acne" to "pure Nausea Fuel" to "oddly enough resembles The Thing". Usually I'm somewhere in between, with a somewhat Freddy Krueger-like appearance. On the other hand, my body is constantly in flux, so my appearance does change from time to time. At least, I hope that's what's happening...
  • Derivative Differentiation: I used to just be Deathstroke in red, until they made me insane and gave me my own fighting style.
  • The Determinator: Usually I gotta tangle with opponents much more high-falutin' and educated than I is. Doesn't stop me from tryin'.
  • Downer Ending: Wade Wilson's War all took place in my head and Dom and I are reduced to a pair of foam-in-the-mouth paraplegics! Actually, there are some parts that are left vague and open to interpretation. GUH! MY BRAIN!
  • Dream Sequence: In one issue of Priscila and Deadpool, Black Mamba used her powers to distract me by making me dream of my greatest desire—which at the time was rubbing sunscreen on Cable's back on a sunny beach. Drinks with tiny umbrellas and WD-40 may also have been involved.
  • Duct Tape for Everything: Check this out. Oh, there was also that time when Cable, Captain America (comics) and a few others frickin' cocooned me with duct tape in an empty warehouse and left me there for hours. And to make things worse... I had to pee.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Despite being one of the deadliest characters in the Marvel Universe, I get close to no respect from anyone.
  • Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: I do this a lot (for all you know, this whole thing might have been transcribed from me babbling in the ear of one o' you tropers for a few hours). My internal yellow caption box monologue is often 'broken', usually without me realizing it, meaning everyone else on the page can hear what I think. Sometimes, I only think I'm doing an internal monologue, when I'm really talking. Also, I tend to have very disturbing dreams, plus a habit of sleeptalking just before I wake up, creating very embarrassing moments for everyone involved.

Me: No, G.I.Joe, don't do that to Barbie... It's so very, very, wrong... -- Uhm... I wasn't dreaming anything too embarrassing, wasn't I?
Irene (staring): No... Not by your standards, no.

  • Even Evil Has Standards: I might be a merc and an assassin for hire, but I tend to only accept contracts on really bad people (and the occasional superhero) and as the above example with the psychiatrist proves, "Kids. Are. Off. Limits!". In fact, once, when a bunch of mercs broke me out of a jail and murdered several cops in the process, I turned on them and killed the whole lot of them.
  • Faux Affably Evil: I am "sadistic, evil, but charming as hell."
  • Embarrassing Nickname: Nate does not like it when I call him Priscilla. It's not my fault I can't keep track of all his damn names!
  • Everything's Better with Bob, agent of HYDRA!
  • Evil Albino: T-Ray, and Tombstone. A black one, at that.
  • Evil Twin: Evil Deadpool who is made out of various limbs i've lost over the years.
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Hit-Monkey. A hitman who's a monkey. No, really.
  • Expressive Mask
  • Fan Boy: I'm a fan boy of Captain America! Did they remember the time he was possessed by some alien thing and I kicked him in the crotch to save the world though?

Me: No one remembers but us.

Me: The guy who made next issue's cover seems to remember though.

    • One time I was mashed to a pulp by Mighty Thor!!! (fanboy squeal)
  • Fan Disservice: Kind of depressing to know that even in a universe where I'm a shapely sex bomb, I'm not allowed to NOT be horribly deformed. Lady Deadpool may actually be even more offputting than me...
  • Fan Service: ...unless she's wearing her mask. : )
  • Fan Nickname: For that idiot who steals my Goddamn name in X-Men Origins: Wolverine: "Barakapool" or "Dudepeel". More like Fan Hatenames, and I approve of that!
    • And "Headpool", the zombie talking head version of me from the Marvel Zombies universe. Headpool now qualifies as an Ascended Meme, as Marvel has used the name in solicits for his appearances in the "Merc with a Mouth" comic. And yes, he's still better than Dudepeel!
  • Five-Man Band: The Gail Simone run featured this set-up prominently:
  • Fourth Wall Mail Slot: In my series, I've often recapped the story arc so far in the first page. And then answered my own fan mail. In said Mail Slot, I'm often accompanied by other characters from my series... who are very confused as to who they're supposed to be talking to. Their expression are worth the effort. To me, anyway. I guess you can't see them.
  • Fourth Wall Observer: Fabian Nicieza usually makes a recap page that isn't in continuity, which means that blobs like the Blob can break the fourth wall at will during the recap page. One recap page had Cable hinting to me that he'd infected me with subliminal messages. Since the recap page wasn't in continuity, I didn't know about the meeting, which didn't stop me from, in the story, saying these words:

Me: Y'know, I'm really beginning to wish the recap page were part of my regular continuity, 'cause then I might have a clue...

  • Freudian Excuse: I SAID I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
  • Fun Personified. And Guns Personified. But mostly fun.
  • Funny Schizophrenia: Hey! That's not what schizophrenia means! Even I know that.
  • Fur Bikini: This trope has nothing to do with me. Fun!
  • Genre Savvy: Of course.
  • The Greatest Story Never Told: I've saved the world on quite a number of occasions, it's just that no one was there to see them. Really.
  • Good Thing You Can Heal: Not really a "good" thing.
  • Guns Akimbo: Aw yeah! Double the guns, double the fun.
  • Healing Factor: In fact, the cancer repeatedly spreading to my brain and instantly healing is the reason I'm so much saner than everyone else!
  • The Heart: I function as this in Uncanny X-Force. When you got me as The Heart, something is seriously wrong with the team.
    • Not to mention I never cashed Warren's checks for the better part of a year!
  • Heel Face Revolving Door: Sometimes I may pal around with the so-called "superheroes" if there's some big nasty that has to be dealt with, yet when I see them again because I was hired to beat the crap out of them, they complain! Considering how often most of them do the whole Heel Face Turn thing in their own books, why are they shocked again? Hypocrisy, man.
    • Sometimes even I don't know which side I'm on; like when I betrayed the X-Men for Cable. I was leaning a bit more towards the Face side in that series though...
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: In my very best mood. In my worse moments I'm paid to be an assassin and torture artist, and have personally eviscerated thousands of people for cash, kicks, and giggles. And lo, do I giggle.
    • ...although, wait. Heroic?
  • Hero with an F In Good: F as in fantastic! Wait, that's not what it stands for...?
    • I mean, how could anybody pass if even copying off that geek Spidey doesn't help?
  • I Just Want to Be Loved: Deep down, I actually want to be acknowledged and accepted by the rest of the heroes in the Marvel Universe.
  • Image Song: My MVC3 theme song has managed to capture my essence: "DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL."
  • Implausible Boarding Skills: I surf on Phoenix Wright's OBJECTION! speech bubble in the Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3 opening! In the air! With lots of debris and paper around me!
  • In Name Only: In the X Men Origins: Wolverine, that guy's 'dead pool' of mutant powers include the healing factor plus adamantium skeleton, Baraka blades, optic eye blasts and teleportation. And near the end his mouth is sewn shut because, get this, someone finally found a way to keep him quiet!
    • The Ultimate version of Deadpool has little-to-nothing to do with my classic gorgeous self either, being little more than a grotesque (especially compared to me), mutant-hating psychopath. Ulitmate 'Verse me suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
      • In fact, he's soooooo bad I had to take his place against his Spidey counterpart during that whole dimension tear thing just to spare my adoring fans from rioting about how not-me-like he was!
  • Interrupted Cooldown Hug: I ticked off a calming Hulk intentionally!
  • I Resemble That Remark: I say those exact words often.
  • It Makes Sense in Context: That time I garroted Santa Claus with a string of barbed wire. As mentioned above, my narration referred to the ordeal as "a routine assignment." And the strangling Santa incident actually isn't all that bizarre compared to some of the other things I get up to...
    • Better yet: Fulfilling my childhood dream by wearing raw meat as body armor and senselessly beating a super villain dressed like a superhero (Hawkeye, then called Bullseye) with a giant ham.
  • Jerkass: Hey, I resemble that remark! Sometimes I am shown as a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, as in Cable and Deadpool #17. That's just 'cause he brings out the best in me, the big lug...

Deadpool: You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!

Thor: You will be punished for your crimes.
Me: You're really pretty.

Beat

Me: Did I Just Say That Out Loud?.

Me: I'll be totally upfront here. I find you really attractive. Why don't we just put our differences aside and have some dinner? Family. House. Kids.
She opens her mouth in a manner that is NOT for man. And out comes what appear to be flesh eating locusts. That charge at me and presumably begin eating my flesh. I mean, who wouldn't?

Moi: You totally misunderstood my proposal.

Betrayed Zombie Dude: You... betrayed us... you betrayed us all.
Me: Duh! -kicks zombie in the head-

She Hulk: Here's a legally binding restraining order... oh, screw it. Biiig. Faaancy. Leetteer. Wiiith. Loooong. Faaancy. Wooords. Teelliing. Yooouu. Tooo. Staaay. Theee. #$%&. Awaayy. Froom. Meee. Now go away. I feel unclean just from being within a 10 mile radius of you.

"Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."

    • In The Randomverse, where the Fourth Wall is already in pieces, I broke it even harder. Everyone in the videos knows that we're comic book characters, but only I know I'm an action figure representing the character. And to break it Up to Eleven, I begin, in my yellow thought bubbles, to complain about the poor animation quality, and wonder why the creators didn't use a better editing software. As if a simple action figure can capture my awesomeness!
    • It gets to the point were I'm the only one in the entire Marvel universe that knows about Spider-Man's deal with Mephisto... er, besides Mephisto that is.
    • And then there's me beating the snot out of people in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 with my own health bar.
      • If only the players would bother learning my game breaking awesome combos instead of relying on X-Factor, the lazy bums!
  • No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Y'know, I keep trying to be nice, but no one seems acknowledge it. Even when they do, I don't get acceptance.
    • Although there was this one time, right after I escaped from a British Mental Institute, shortly before I ran into Evil Deadpool, where I saved a bunch of Third Worldies, of course I was just trying to take control of the ship so I could get back to dry land. I think I got a slightly warm fuzzy feeling when the only one who could speak English told me I was a good person. That's a start at least.
    • And I guess Nate did. A little.
  • Noodle Incident: You'll never know my ultimate diss, a diss so potent it makes Marines weep and women lose function of their pancreas... Mamageddon.
    • And we'll never know how I, Cable, and the Fixer ended up in St. Louis, fighting a villain who released a diarrhetic over Old Busch Stadium during a Cardinals game (though I thought that was just the fifty franks he ate).
  • Noodle Implements: In Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2, I suggest that Nick Fury give me a poodle, a bullhorn and four nuns in order to distract Marvel's not-so-subtle lovers.
  • Not So Different: I can't believe that those Capcom guys honestly think that some wussy named Dante could go toe-to-toe with me! There's only one gunslinging, sword-wielding, snarky crimson-clad mercenary in this game, and it's definitely not some emo with a cross tatoo and a scythe! Wait, you say I'm confusing characters now?
    • While different people have different opinions, personally I think they could have settled in for that Dan guy, I mean he's a rip off of two characters of a rival company that ripped Capcom off kinda like what I am, but the only difference between me and him is that I break the 4th wall, while his fighting style sucks that's ironically named "Saikyo" (That means "The Greatest" in moon words people).
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: It's implied, quite a bit, that my "insanity" is just my way of coping with my horrible position in life. Either that or I'm just a downright nutjob. But hey! At least I killed that guy that raped your next door neighbor's 5-year-old daughter!
    • This is also Peter Milligan's interpretation of me in 5 Ronin.
  • Odd Friendship: With Cable. And most of my friends, really.

Cable: And Wade, of course. Our fates seem to be intertwined. God help me.

You're not a mutant! ...and you're not an X-Man!

Sabretooth: Scream for me.
Me: Scream? Well, if you insist. AAAAAHHH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AAAAAHHH AAAAAHHH
Sabretooth: Enough, Wilson.
Me: No wait -- Now I'll do it like a little girl: eeek! eeek! eeek!

Thor: You will be handed over to the authorities. Imprisonment shall be yours. The fate of a thief.
Me: I REALLY FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE!
Thor: ...
Me: Did I Just Say That Out Loud?.

  • Take Our Word for It: In a recent issue, I was hired to kill a man by an old girlfriend whom he spread a rumor about. The rumor is so terrible, even Bullseye wanted the guy dead.
    • Even the man whose house I broke into to kill said Pizza Guy agreed. He went from "You can't just come into my house and kill a guy", to "Dude, you so have to pay for what you did" after being told what happened.
    • Also, in The Amazing Spider-Man #611, I let slip that I have the 'Yo Mamma-Geddon', which reduced a Marine to tears, and ruptured a girl's pancreas.
  • Take That: When I had to train a bunch of Super Skrulls that managed to get my power set and costume, one comments on why they have to have so many pouches on them. I remark, oh so sarcastically, about them being useful, turn to the reader and say "Isn't that right, Rob?"
    • And in my first ongoing, a pair of old ladies who hire me to take out a human Road Runner give me a giant, complicated gun called "The Liefelder".
    • I even made fun of Jack Chick. Can't decide which of them deserve my ribbings more, tho'.
    • Oh, and you guys shouldn't feel left out either. As Way had me mention the other day: "There is nobody I hate more than my friends." I liked "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" better though.
  • They Fight Crime: This is the point of the Deadpool Team-Up series, as it gives inferior heroes a day in the limelight with everyone's favorite mercenary, by which I mean me, by which I mean no one other than me, by which I mean not you.
  • This Is Sparta!: Must... use... Shatner... voice... to... reach... STATUE!!!
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Once, while on a job for X-Force, I was caught by Apocalypse's goons who then proceeded to tie me up just so I could regale them with a my stunning rendition of Miami Sound Machine's Conga.
  • Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: Galactus fired me because I was just too awesome for him to handle. It's definitely not because he wanted me to shut up.
    • Then there was the time I was captured to be zombiefood. I tasted like cancer.
  • Trickster Archetype
  • Trigger Happy: I like killing in general, but I LOVE ME SOME GUN!
  • Twist Ending: ARE YOU READY GUYS? THIS IS HUGE. In Joe Kelly's original run, I'M NOT EVEN WADE WILSON. I just killed a random guy in his house and took over his identity! I wasn't even a good guy to begin with! But Marvel retconned this story to hell (Back in my fight with T-Ray in Cable and Deadpool), so now apparently the Deadpool: Origins comic is the canon one.
  • Ultimate Marvel
  • Unreliable Narrator: Hey! I resemble that remark! Seriously, now, who are you gonna trust? Me... or reality? I bet reality doesn't have sweet guns like these...
  • Useless Accessory I almost never use all those pouches of mine. Although When I do they have contained Awesome action figures (of Me), wallet, keys, and (on one occasion) a pancreas. Logic doesn't exactly work on Me.
  • Villain Protagonist: I bounce back and forth between this and Heroic Comedic Sociopath. Like a gun-toting pinball, really. Sometimes within the same issue!
  • What Could Have Been: I nearly was left out of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 because some moron "accidentally" put me on the "no go" list. If it wasn't for the attention of the other people outside of that single moron, I wouldn't be hitting people with my life bar left and right. Now, to go find that idiot...
  • Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?: I call the Punisher out on it during Suicide Kings. Since, you know, the previous day he tried to strangle me and electrocute my ass... with mecha-frickin'-tentacles.

Me: What you got today, Punisher. The Beetle's wings? Plant-Man's chloro-blaster gun? One of the Porcupine's quills?

  • Who Wants to Live Forever?: Turns out to be what I've been obsessing about in the Daniel Way arc.
  • Wild Card: Of course. I mean, that's pretty much half my reason for livin'.
  • Wolverine Publicity: To put it simply, starting in 2008, I've pretty much kicked good ol' Wolverine off his title as Marvel's Poster Child.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Hey ladies, you want equality right? Guess what, I'm all for it. Shadowcat will tell you just how much I support feminism!
    • Glad to see that you're all suggesting her as DLC in "Marvel Vs Capcom 3". I'll let her know about it the next time I see her, probably before I knock her unconscious.
  • Indy Ploy or Xanatos Roulette: So get this: I was attacking a ship of Skrulls and Super Skrulls, then offered 'em my services, then got captured, tortured, cloned for Super Deadpool Skrulls, then convinced the scientist to let me train the Deadpool Skrulls so they can kill all the other Skrulls on the ship. Knowing that the Deadpool Skrulls were all doomed because they they don't have cancer, I could then steal the information. None of this was Nick Fury's plan, but damn it was fun.
  • Xanatos Gambit: "X Marks the Spot", looking to do somethin' heroic, I convinced Cyke to allow me into the X-Men as a probationary member, then went and "attempted" to kill the guy who was all over TV saying the X-Men were keeping his daughter hostage (while wearing the X-Men uniform I made myself), failed, tried again, resulting in the X-Men showing up to take me out. There, Wolverine grabbed the camera guy to film the X-Men saving The Asshole from Deadpool, including Cyclops saying I wasn't an X-Man, the little Indian giver (that was offensive to our native peoples and I apologize). Immediately after the camera stopped rolling, Wolvie, who ain't as dumb as he looks, revealed that he figured out I had set the entire thing up myself, all to put the X-Men back in good standing with the American Public and to get The Asshole to reveal that Osborn had paid him off to claim the X-Men had kidnapped his daughter. I called it... Operation Moves, and I did it to make X-Men realize how wrong they were for denying me entry into their ranks the first time. And to make Cyclops admit that yes, I did have some pretty good moves. Apparently, if I put this amount of thought into everything I did, I'd probably rule the world. (Though who can say for sure that I haven't and don't?)
  • X Meets Y: You might think that Deadpool Corps is basically Exiles meets me. Absolutely not! I came up with my corps idea first, but those Exiles guys stole it before I could get it off the ground!
    • Someone once said that I was like Deathstroke and Spider-Man's lovechild, raised by Joker. Which, I think, understates my awesome...
      • Another interpretation could be "Deathstroke meets Ambush Bug".
  • Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: Parodiedeth when I briefly taketh possession of a faketh copy of thout viking guy's hammer and change thost speech patterns accordinglyst.
    • Combinedth with What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?, as mine exploits with thine "hammer" involve ordering ye olde disproportionately hugeth amount of foode from Tacoe Belle, using thine hammer as a baseballe bat in thost majore league game (I still striketh oute), and attacking a Michael Jackson Captain Ersatz. Eth.

Me: AND GET THEE A LIFE!

Well, I've got to go. There's a killer itch on my butt that needs a scratchin' and my microwaved burritos are almost done. Browse the indexes for me and I'll promise we'll fight some ninjas or some other crap later. See ya!

  1. ↑ Wait, didn't she beat him too? Yes she did, thank you bullet point!
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