8-Bit Theater/Characters: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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* [[Amusing Injuries]]
* {{spoiler|[[And the Adventure Continues...]]: For Black Mage and Fighter at least}}.
* [[Badass Crew]]: Fighter and Thief get to do badass things on a regular basis, but Black Mage and Red Mage have defeated multiple demigods.
* [[Butt Monkey|Butt Monkeys]]: Black Mage generally has it the worst, but all of the Light Warriors get their share of abuse at various points.
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* [[Ax Crazy]]
* [[Black Magic]]: Specifically [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/07/11/episode-718-necronomisutra/ necromancy] and several offensive spells, such as [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/04/27/episode-021-assaulting-the-elderly-at-last/ Bolt-2] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/04/25/episode-020-the-quest-to-assault-the-elderly-continues/ a.k.a. Electric Death], [[Eye Beams]] and of course his [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadoken]], which he got by sacrificing nine orphaned kids to his dark god and which siphons love out of the universe every time it's used.
* [[Blessed Withwith Suck]]: He becomes this kind of character after his class change. At first he thought that Blue Magic grants its user the immunity to enemy attacks, as well as the ability [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/01/10/episode-646-a-short-history-of-magic/ to learn and use said attacks] - so naturally, he was overjoyed after gaining Blue Magic. As he learned quickly ([http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/02/07/episode-658-feeling-blue/ and painfully]), it didn't grant him immunity to anything, and while he was able to learn attacks used against him, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/02/16/episode-662-hell-is-other-monsters/ he had to survive them first]. Plus, in the course of the series, he's learned only three spells through Blue Magic - one of which is the Goblin Punch, which has a mostly impractical range. The others include a spell specifically targeted at him, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/04/29/episode-689-backfire/ as he learns the hard way], while the third one [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/05/23/episode-1131-turnabout-isnt-fair-play/ rewrites reality according to Sarda's whim], which in practice also makes it targeted at him.
* [[Blood Is the New Black]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2006/09/28/episode-749-murder-by-numbers/ Happened to him] [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/04/12/episode-832-character-is-what-you-are-in-the-dark/ a few times].
* [[Brilliant but Lazy]]: It's fairly easy to read him as this; over the course of the comics he's used the widest varieties of spells, displayed in-depth knowledge about magical theory(including magics he doesn't personally practice, such as ice and summoning) and history, and as mentioned elsewhere, so long as he's not particularly angry or close to White Mage, he's generally the smartest of the group. He just happens to be insanely lazy, commenting more than once that a battle would go their way if they all actually fought instead of just standing by to let Red Mage get mauled, and not acting on it because it's too much effort. Partly justified by him being a [[Death Seeker]]; he knows that when he dies he becomes one of the single most powerful creatures in existence.
* [[Broke Your Arm Punching Out Cthulhu]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/27/episode-508-insurrection/ once] fought off a deep one, a dinosaur, and a [[Attack of the Fifty50 Foot Whatever|giant marmoset]] with nothing but his knife. He was certainly [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/01/29/episode-509-just-after-the-epic-battle/ feeling it afterwards] , though.
* [[Butt Monkey]]: To the point where the universe itself is geared to hurt him.
* [[Card-Carrying Villain]]: He makes no attempt to present himself as anything other than evil, makes absolutely no excuse for [[Person of Mass Destruction|mass-murder and destruction]], and he's [[Insult Backfire|damn well proud of it.]] Red Mage and Thief tend to be [[Somebody Else's Problem|just blind to morality and ethical standards]], but Black Mage can very easily see the moral dilemma of a problem, and he may even argue about the validity of it. ... Of course, he only identifies it so he can go in the completely opposite direction.
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* [[Chronic Backstabbing Disorder]]: Not only does he betray the rest of the team when given a chance, but he also frequently stabs them in the back (or head) ''[[Knife Nut|literally]]'' - especially Fighter.
** While Black Mage is a literal back-stabber, Thief may hold the higher "betray the group" count.
* [[Cosmic Plaything]]: The universe just loves gnawing on him. To be fair though, the universe probably should have thought about the consequences of allowing a nexus of excessively destructive reality-warping power to exist in the soul of an individual with as much sanity and stability as a nuclear bomb. The universe is probably trying to rectify the situation by attempting to stamp him out of existence ''without'' killing him (as killing him would hence get rid of the [[Restraining Bolt]] that is his mortal body... you know, 'cause [[The End of the World Asas We Know It|that did not]] [[Apocalypse How|work out so well]] [[Oh Crap|last time]]).
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Occurs mostly when he is around Red Mage and Fighter for any period of time. And when he's not holding the [[Idiot Ball]].
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Even Black Mage thought that Thief's idea to impose fees for ''clouds'' [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/01/29/episode-948-like-new-coke/ was really sick].
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* [[Hair-Trigger Temper]]: stabbity-stab-stab. Plus, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/12/28/episode-103-those-wacky-light-warriors/ he once used Hadoken] on a ''bee'' [[Disproportionate Retribution|that annoyed him]].
** And here are some [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/07/10/episode-1015-infernal-matters/ other things] that have suffered his wrath.
* [[Hidden Depths]]: He has moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/03/episode-280-hot-backdoor-action/ these] when the audience realizes he has a vast swamp of rather uncomfortable emotional turmoil. And he has moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/12/02/episode-486-fell-down/ these] which could count as a [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]]. However, they often come on the heels of moments like [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/27/8-bit-chronicles-3-of-3/ these] which clearly favor him for the post of anthropomorphic personification of all Evil. He's still a [[Jerk Withwith a Heart of Jerk]]...Maybe.
* [[Humanoid Abomination]]
* [[I Love the Dead]]: Once expressed willingness to have sex with White Mage's dead body, considering it only slightly less ideal than having sex with her while alive. He did have sex with the corpse of {{spoiler|his own doppleganger}}.
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* [[The Plan]]: A [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] one he set up at the Citadel of Ordeals, {{spoiler|where he knew he would have to "face his flaws"; as per the typical physical manifestation of fantasy metaphors, he would therefore have to kill off his evil side. Considering that there was no way in hell he was going to get rid of all of his evil, he managed to rig the situation so that after killing his evil side, he would re-inherent all the evil}}. It's a real pity that he has never attributed so much forethought to plans that could in anyway benefit the world.
* [[Played for Laughs]]: His numerous atrocities. Only the fact that they aren't played seriously saves him from being a [[Complete Monster]].
* [[Power At a Price]]: His ''own'' power seems to come at the price of his sanity and morality. However, he isn't opposed to using ''other'' people's lives or sanity to get access to more power. [[Human Sacrifice|Remember how]] [[Powered Byby a Forsaken Child|he got the]] [[Kamehame Hadoken|Hadoken]]?
* [[Power Limiter]]: if Black Mage finally manages to get rid of his mortal body, he'll no longer have his [[Restraining Bolt]] in place and hence be able to use his full powers without limit. That is a ridiculous amount of power, and the universe seems to [[Cosmic Plaything|wisened up enough to this]] to try to make sure this doesn't happen.
* [[Psycho for Hire]]: as long as you can point him in the right direction and get out of the disaster zone, you can invade and destroy an entire country single-handedly. As Thief found out with the poor Dwarf nation.
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Also, I shot magic into their chromosones until they turned inside out, evolution is my bitch. }}
* {{spoiler|[[Fake Memories]]: "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/07/31/episode-447-henry-rollins-wrote-a-song-about-thief/ Plus, Red Mage? You can NOT tell him this, but he's not actually a cross dresser and he has no daddy issues. I've just been messin' with his head.]"}}
* [[Hero Withwith an F In Good]]
* [[Insane Troll Logic]]
* [[An Adventurer Is You|The Jack]]
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* [[The Smart Guy]]: Well, sort of...
* [[Strange Minds Think Alike]]: Has several with Garland and a few others.
* [[The Strategist]]: Although most of his plans are somewhat hindered by such minor things as: The Laws Of Physics, Common Sense, Black Mage, Basic Logic, [[Insane Troll Logic|their own brain-breaking insanity]], [[Surrounded Byby Idiots|the incompetence of his cohorts]], his ''own'' incompetence, Black Mage, a lack of proper equipment, a lack of regard for any kind of rationality, [[Too Dumb to Live|Fighter's stupidity]], his ''own'' [[What an Idiot!|stupidity]], being needlessly overcomplicated to the point of madness, [[Running Gag|Black Mage]], his tenous grasp on reality, King Steve[[The Long List|...]]
** ...he ''still'' pulls off a good one every now and then. See [[Crazy Enough to Work]].
* [[Ted Baxter]]: Seems to genuinely believe that he's a 'fractactical genius', and loves to brag about it.
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* [[Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas|Even Bad Men Love Their Papas]]
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: Both he and Red Mage were disgusted by [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/07/24/episode-874-silence-implies-consent/ Black Mage's plan] to make White Mage drink what was most likely a paint thinner and then rape her (alive or dead).
* [[Evil Genius]]: Truly deserving of his status as [[Magnificent Bastard]], he can manipulate and swindle anyone into doing anything. For one thing, he [[Kid Withwith the Leash|manages to keep Black Mage on a leash]] (because if he doesn't, Black Mage becomes an uncontrollable [[Eldritch Abomination]] that even terrifies ''the demons from Hell''), and he screwed with Red Mage's head to turn him into a cross-dresser. [[For the Evulz]] of course.
* [[Hoist Byby His Own Petard|Hoist By His Own "Picard"]]: Matoya and Raven use his legal trickery to their advantages, {{spoiler|but they end up flogging themselves.}}
* [[Impossible Thief]]: Among other things, he can steal secrets, souls, resolve, childhood memories, and most famously, his ninja class abilities from the future. One of the only things he apparently can't steal are things that are ''both'' nailed down and on fire.
* [[Jerkass]]
* [[Kid Withwith the Leash]]: is one of the few individuals that can control Black Mage and channel his destructive impulses to a common goal (... most of the time).
* [[Magnificent Bastard]]: Called this in-universe [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/10/08/episode-201-does-he-work-for-best-buyin-memory-of-jesse-james-schosek-and-nathan-larkins-we-will-miss-you/ by Black Mage], and rightfully so.
* [[Miser Advisor]]
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* [[Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain|Ineffectual Sympathetic Villains]]
* [[Legion of Doom]]
* [[Minion Withwith an F In Evil|Minions With An F In Evil]]
* [[Quirky Miniboss Squad]]
* {{spoiler|[[Throw the Dog Aa Bone]]: Propped up as the true heroes and saviors of the world in the epilogue}}.
* [[Unknown Rival|Unknown Rivals]]: The Light Warriors are barely aware of them, only Black Mage recognizes them during their first encounters as a full team, and [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/04/25/episode-1121-loose-lips-sink-light-warriors/ they didn't even know why they were out to get them, or that they were even after them in the first place.]
 
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{{quote| '''Red Mage''': ''"But the Other Warriors were on the same quest."'' <br />
'''Thief''': ''"It's because they aren't smart! You were able to fool them. '''You'''."'' }}
* [[Canon Foreigner|Canon Foreigners]]: There's nothing resembling them or their roles in ''[[Final Fantasy I (Video Game)|Final Fantasy I]]''.
* {{spoiler|[[Dropped a Bridge Onon Him|Dropped A Bridge On Them]]}}
* [[Hero of Another Story|Heroes Of Another Story]]
* [[His Name Really Is "Barkeep"]]
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{{quote| ''"I know a guy."''}}
 
* [[Friend in Thethe Black Market]]: {{spoiler|It's Thief.}}
* [[Honest John's Dealership]]
** [[Real Estate Scam]]
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* [[Multi-Armed and Dangerous]]
* [[Personality Powers]]: Really the only Fiend to fit this.
* [[Playing Withwith Fire]]
* [[Snake People]]
* [[Stupid Evil]] + [[Bad Boss]]: Slaughters her own minions for little or no reason just to prove she's evil and because she likes killing things.
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* [[Affably Evil]]: Handles ending worlds in a friendly, business-like manner.
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]
* [[Everything's Squishier Withwith Cephalopods]]
* [[Omnicidal Maniac]]: Planned to destroy the world when summoned.
* [[Punctuation Shaker]]: His true name is Jnn'efur.
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* [[Faux Affably Evil]]
* [[Fluffy the Terrible]]: Though Dragoon suspects it wasn't her real name.
* [[Hoist Byby His Own Petard|Hoist By Her Own Petard]]: {{spoiler|Creating an order of knights designed solely to slay dragons really comes back to bite her.}}
* [[Last of His Kind|Last Of Her Kind]]
* [[Our Dragons Are Different]]
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* [[An Adventurer Is You|The Healer]]
* [[His Name Really Is "Barkeep"]]
* [[Impaled Withwith Extreme Prejudice]]: {{spoiler|But, fortunately, she got better.}}
* [[Logic Bomb]]: {{spoiler|Convinced Chaos that a universe without Order would still lead to Order.}}
** {{spoiler|[[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|And that it would be boring.]]}}
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* [[A God Am I]]
* [[Arch Enemy]]: To Black Mage.
* [[Ascended Extra]]: Basically everyone is, but he is the comic's Most Triumphant Example. In all editions of ''[[Final Fantasy I (Video Game)|Final Fantasy I]]'', Sarda/Sadda is just a hermit who gives the heroes a rod to get past the Earth Cave. In ''8-bit Theater'', he is so much more.
* [[Badass Mustache]]
* [[Comes Great Responsibility|Comes Great Authority]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/05/28/episode-556-the-gangs-all-here/ But absolute power, rocks absolutely.]
* [[Evil Sorcerer]]
* [[The Faceless]]
* [[Hoist Byby His Own Petard]]
* [[Hypocrite]]: He can make a case for Black Mage, but he can't really claim the moral high ground over Thief and Red Mage.
* [[Idiot Ball]]: Just once, though at the worst possible moment. Quoth the [[Evil Overlord List]]: {{spoiler|No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not [[Phlebotinum Overload|consume any energy field bigger than my head]].}}
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* {{spoiler|[[Big Bad]]:[[Evil Versus Evil|Unless you count]] [[Villain Protagonist|the Light Warriors themselves]], as he is responsible for setting everything in motion. Besides, he's nearly as nasty as Black Mage, regularly abusing his power, screwing with Ranger for no reason and with the entire town of Onrac just to get revenge on White Mage. He even inadvertently killed Onion Kid's - AKA his own - adoptive parents when he was doing it. All because he can.}}
** {{spoiler|You could say he takes the place of Garland, the [[Big Bad]] from the source material, being a character scarred by the Light Warriors in the beginning, involved in a time-loop plot, planning on the Light Warriors to complete their quest, and becoming the vessel for Chaos. They're even both fought in the Temple of Fiends.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Death Byby Irony]]: A combination of [[Hoist Byby His Own Petard]] and poetically dying the way he grew up--accidentally harmed by Black Mage's evil.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Demonic Possession]]: By Chaos.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Freudian Excuse]]: He's such an asshole because Black Mage made his past self's life miserable. This is cancelled out because he didn't do anything to fix it, though [[Word of God]] suggests he couldn't.}}
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* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: While [[Only Sane Man|White Mage]] and [[Butt Monkey|Onion Kid]] list off the Light Warriors' atrocities, Dragoon complains about their unwittingly taking his spear with them to Sarda.
* [[Big Damn Heroes]]: {{spoiler|Pops up out of nowhere to save Thief from Muffin by jamming his spear through her head.}}
* [[Canon Foreigner]]: Dragoons weren't introduced until ''[[Final Fantasy II (Video Game)|Final Fantasy II]]'', and it was ''[[Final Fantasy III (Video Game)|III]]'' that added the whole jumping shtick.
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]
* [[Embarrassing First Name]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/03/01/episode-962-clearly-they-do-not/ One strip] implies that his first name is actually Sebastian, and that he isn't too fond of it.
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* [[Unwitting Pawn]]
* [[What an Idiot!]]: In-universe, the other characters call him out on the stupidity of believing that Muffin was a ''parrot'' all his life.
* {{spoiler|[[Put Onon a Bus]]: But comes [[Back for Thethe Finale]] and, unlike the countless cameos within said finale, he's actually the sixth most prominent character in it.}}
 
=== King Steve ===
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* [[Evil Costume Switch]]
* [[Evil Is Sexy]]: Even Garland says her villain outfit is hot.
* [[Hot Chick Withwith a Sword]]: Well, Fighter certainly thought so when he saw her borrowing his sword [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/06/03/episode-156-cutting-to-the-heart-of-the-matter/ and slaughtering a giant with it].
* [[Only Sane Man|Only Sane Woman]]
* [[Politically-Active Princess]]: She has this role due to [[Alternative Character Interpretation]] (compared to her [[Distressed Damsel]] ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' counterpart). Mostly because leaving [[The Caligula|King Steve]] to his own devices would pretty much be the end of their dynasty.
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* [[Affably Evil]]: Rather sporting to the Light Warriors and, well, anyone who wants to destroy the world in a "cakeological singularity" can't be all bad.
* [[Bigger Bad]]: This ''IS'' based on ''[[Final Fantasy I (Video Game)|Final Fantasy I]]'' after all. "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" says that all the monsters in the world are "fragments" of Chaos.
* [[Brought Down to Normal]]: "[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2010/03/02/episode-1222-one-of-the-better-singularities/ Chaos! You're too tall!]"
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]
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* [[You Have Outlived Your Usefulness]]: {{spoiler|Planned to give Black Mage the same fate as everyone else in the world.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Giant Space Flea From Nowhere]]: While he did get mentioned about once a year, he still comes from nowhere (literally).}}
* {{spoiler|[[Hijacked Byby Ganon]]: Possesses Sarda's body after a [[Phlebotinum Overload]] and threatens to destroy the universe towards the end of the comic.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Two of Your Earth Minutes|Twenty Four Of Your Earth Hours]]}}
* {{spoiler|[[The Unfought]]: Well, unfought by the Light Warriors, at least.}}
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* [[Cult]]
* [[Embarrassing First Name|Embarrassing First Names]]: They all have girl names, though this doesn't seem to bother them.
* [[Everything's Squishier Withwith Cephalopods]]
* [[Filler Villain|Filler Villains]]: In their first appearance, since the entire arc has 0 impact on the story.
* [[Nietzsche Wannabe|Nietzsche Wannabes]]: Naturally, being a parody of Lovecraft's works.
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* [[Our Elves Are Better]]
* [[Smug Snake]]
* [[Villain Withwith Good Publicity]]: As far as "good publicity" is possible among elves.
* {{spoiler|[[Anticlimax Boss]]}}
* {{spoiler|[[Talking the Monster Toto Death]]: Literally - Red Mage and Black Mage tried to come up with a [[Pre-Mortem One-Liner]] before fighting Astos, but they botched it so badly that it ended up killing him.}}
 
=== Warmech ===

Revision as of 16:36, 8 April 2014


Warriors of Light

 Garland: "And what kind of tactics do you tend to employ?"

Fighter: "Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies."

Garland: "I see..."

Fighter: "But we're heroes so it's okay when we do that."

Black Mage Evilwizardington

 "If there was a way to get magic for free, do you really think I'd have spent so much time sacrificing children to my dark gods? For spells, I mean. Obviously there'd still be sacrifices. A hobby's a hobby."

Fighter McWarrior

 "I like... what was it again?"

 Fighter: Get up, Lich. I'm not through hurting you yet.

Lich: You have no idea the forces at work here, boy. If death himself cannot take me, what makes you think you can?

Fighter: I SAID GET UP!

  Red Mage: Oh dear. I think it's finally happened. Years of exposure to Fighter's, shall we say, point of view, has left Black Mage a spluttering vegetable.

 Fighter: Don't lie to the poor lady, RM. You know exactly who we are and we don't look innocent at all. All I'd trust those two jokers with is a stab in the back and then the throat. And you wear a mask. I look okay and seem honest, but as far as she knows, it's an elaborate act. A ruse that works so well my own friends could never suspect - never consider - the evil I inflict upon innocents wheresoever we go.

Red Mage: He's just kidding of... of course...

    • Although, that said, sometimes you get things like this:

  Fighter: I like this plan. It needs a sword fight in the middle, but we can burn that river when we cross a bridge over the bush with two birds in glass houses.

Red Mage Statscowski

 Red Mage: "Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any given step will have no impact on the macro level."

Black Mage: "That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more."

Red Mage: "Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!"

  • A God Am I: Learned almost "every move in the game" from the Datasphere and planned to dethrone the gods.
  • Ambidextrous Sprite: The feather on his hat(s).
  • Accidental Innuendo: He does this so frequently it seems like it might actually be on purpose.

 All it required was a cocktail of dangerous experimental surgery, and a willingness to ignore the unnessecary suffering of perfectly innocent beings.

Also, I shot magic into their chromosones until they turned inside out, evolution is my bitch.

Thief/Prince Elf

 Black Mage (seeing Thief with an enormous bag of loot): "Didn't the pirates take everything already?"

Thief: "They left everything that was nailed down. I did not."

Warriors of Darkness

 Garland: "We have failed to enact any significant revenge against the hated Light Warriors."

Vilbert: "Point of order: Nuh-uh!"

Bikke: "Yar. Ye slam o' poetry be as significant as a pee in the ocean."

Drizz'l: "It's what we're all thinking."

Garland

 Garland: "You will pay for your insolence, princess. For when I summon the dark lord Chaos to do my bidding, my very first uh... bid will be to hurrrrrt you. Hurrrrt you!"

Princess Sara: "What're you gonna have him do? Poke me in the ribs?"

Garland: "Oh heavens no. I'm nefarious, not cruel."

Drizz'l

 "I have got to find new, non-sucky, friends."

Bikke

 "Be this 600 or pineapple?"

Vilbert von Vampire

 "My dark soul burns with fiery agreement. Or possibly tacos."

The Other Warriors

 Red Mage: "But the Other Warriors were on the same quest."

Thief: "It's because they aren't smart! You were able to fool them. You."

Ranger

  • The Archer
  • Department of Redundancy Department: His full name is Generic Dual-Class Half-Elven Ranger. His other class is also Ranger.
  • Dual-Wielding: Taken Up to Eleven. Unfortunately, he chose to take it Up to Eleven against Sarda, which still left him about Eleventy-Zillion short.
  • Heinz Hybrid: He's apparently 50% elf, 25% human and 12.5% orc. The remaining 12.5% is unknown, but presumably also human.
    • Bizarrely, in his introduction, he claims to be half-elven and half-human. Later he says he's a half-elven ranger who is a quarter Lefeinish (human) and a quarter half-orc. This puts him anywhere from 112.5% to 125%, depending on what the other half of the half-orc is.
  • The Hero

Berserker Axinhed

 "Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at the tip of a helm doesn't mean I'm incapable of appreciating the finer things in life."

Cleric

 "Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If it weren't for my atheism, I'd be impressed by it."

Rogue

 "I know a guy."

The Fiends

Lich

 "Death is the natural state of all being. Life is the aberration. It is fleeting, and full of pain. Come, embrace the eternity in nothing!"

Kary

 "Look, I haven't killed anything in about three minutes, so my patience is nil at this point."

 Black Mage: Lady, if you weren't trying to kill me, and half made out of snake, I'd be on you like blood on my knife.

Ur

 "Anyway, you guys ordered an apocalypse if I'm right."

Muffin

 Dragoon: "Muffin is a dragon. It all makes sense now. Like, when I'd say 'Polly want a cracker?" she'd say "No, Muffin want to rip a knight in half and suck out the pulp.'"

Others

White Mage

Sarda

 "I, gentlemen, am Sarda, and that makes me the wizard who did it!"

Black Belt

 "You try walking a straight line without bumping into wave functions of neighboring realities."

Dragoon

 "All those poor, poor fools not living in towers or being able to leap into the stratosphere. It's like they wanted to drown."

King Steve

 King Steve: "Did I ever tell you about the time I built this castle all by hand?"

Princess Sara: "It's 400 years old, dad."

King Steve: "Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know."

Princess Sara

Chaos

 "I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal."

Matoya

The Cultists

 Thief: "You're not going to have to incest at us first, are you?"

Cultist: "No, we don't do that!"

Cultist: "Any more!"

Mrr'grt: "As much!"

Astos

Warmech

 "BEHOLD MY HUMAN LASER!"

Akbar

 "Suckers!"

The Sulk

The Real Light Warriors

  • Butt Monkeys: Whenever we see these guys, they're usually getting screwed over.
  • The Chew Toys: When you consider how they were supposed to be the heroes, their suffering is very disenheartening.
  • Cosmic Playthings: Even when the Light Warriors aren't screwing them, things rarely work out for these guys.
  • Evil Counterparts: Inverted; since the Light Warriors are the very definition of Villain Protagonists, they are very heroic. To drive the point home, while the RLWs use character sprites of Fighter, Thief, and Red Mage's upgraded classes from the first Final Fantasy game (Knight, Ninja, Red Wizard, respectively) Black Mage's is a White Wizard.
  • Missed the Call: They were supposed to be the ones to become chosen by fate, but because they were out level grinding, the main characters got the job.
  • No Name Given: The only member of the group whose name was revealed is the Red Wizard named Barry.
  • Think Nothing of It: When they do pull off some heroics, they are very humble about it.